**Leer Jane Eyre en el siglo XXI**

In the 21st century, reading "Jane Eyre" is not only gratifying but even more so considering the era in which Charlotte Brontë wrote it. It is a story with a female character who has aged extremely well and remains intact to this day.

The story is told by the protagonist herself. It begins when she was a child living with her uncle's wife and her three children. She couldn't continue living there as she refused to be around people who didn't love her and treated her horribly. Then, she went to the Lowood institution for orphan girls, where poverty and mistreatment by a fanatical and hypocritical clergyman of the same religion abounded. Finally, at the age of eighteen, she became a governess and, by her own will, charted her path to Mr. Rochester's house, where the true plot will have room due to a dark secret waiting in Thornfield Hall.

Jane is a character who, from a young age, is shaping up to be someone active, eager to acquire knowledge and know more about the world. She is quite awake and passionate, but only in the moments when she finally manages to bring out all that she has inside. She is a girl who, for her time, could perfectly be rebellious, daring, argumentative, and much criticized and mistreated by family, acquaintances, and strangers. Considered a wild beast, a little demon, an incomprehensible being, and many more things. But that's precisely where her charm lies: stepping out of the canon imposed on every woman of that era. Jane Eyre has a strong and determined personality. She is not afraid to think and act differently from the conventional norm. She has truly conquered me with that firm and overwhelming spirit because she never, ever gives in. She always follows the path she desires with great tenacity. Despite having many falls and emotional peaks (because she also has her weaknesses like every human being) due to her physical appearance, her social class, or her condition as a governess, she always makes her own decisions, those that she considers correct for herself.

And that's what I'm completely sure of. Jane was the one who forged her own path, step by step, without following the trail that others wanted to mark for her. And believe me when I say that there were several men and women who tried to mold her, break her, make her believe that what they said was true, but fortunately and to my admiration, it was all in vain. Jane Eyre remained intact from beginning to end, faithful to her ideals and principles and not to those that society marked for her from a young age.

And yes, it is a much sweeter and healthier story than "Wuthering Heights," with a rather sentimental romance based on equality and the respect that the involved parties profess for each other, but not for that a perfect union. It is one of those relationships that touch your heart and that you want to happen as soon as possible because you can't stand the wait. And although it is not a reading as intense all the time and that generates ambivalent sensations like that of Emily Brontë, this shines with an exceptional protagonist. Ah, that's true, I've made it very obvious. Well, I'm sorry, I don't mind repeating myself until I'm tired because "Jane Eyre" captivated me and the magnificent journey that it represented to get to know her and recognize her as a free woman and owner of herself.

FIVE REASONS WHY JANE EYRE WOULD NEVER BE A BESTSELLER IN OUR TIMES:

5. Four hundred-odd pages of purely descriptive writing can be a challenge for modern readers with shorter attention spans. In today's fast-paced world, people often prefer quick and concise reads.

4. Overt religious themes and moral preaching may not resonate with a more secular and diverse audience. Many contemporary readers are looking for stories that are more inclusive and less dogmatic.

3. A plain-Jane heroine who stays plain might not appeal to a society that places a high value on physical appearance. In our times, makeovers and transformations are often seen as a way to boost self-esteem and find success.

2. The idea that the world is not well-lost for love and that principles win over grand passion may seem old-fashioned to some. Modern readers are often more focused on following their hearts and taking risks.

1. NO SEX!!! In a culture that is increasingly obsessed with sex and sexuality, a book that lacks explicit content may be seen as boring or prudish.

When I was a little girl, I had a doll named Saloni. She wasn't the prettiest doll, but she was my favorite. I had drilled a hole in her mouth, brushed her hair until it all fell out, and dragged her around so much that one of her eyes had fallen off. But in my eyes, she was perfect. She was my comfort, my mainstay in a confusing world. Jane Eyre is like my grown-up version of Saloni. It's a book that I can always turn to for comfort and inspiration.

There are two authors I will read until the day I die: Charlotte Bronte and Georgette Heyer. I have read Jane Eyre countless times, and I never get tired of it. Every time I reach the scene where Jane professes her love to Mr. Rochester, I get goosebumps. I know that the story has its flaws, but that doesn't matter to me. It's still one of the greatest love stories ever told.

There are many things to admire in this book. Edward Rochester may be ugly, but he's also powerful and dominant, and his attractiveness has nothing to do with his looks. The love between him and Jane grows and strengthens on the basis of mutual sympathy, respect, and a meeting of the minds. And Jane herself is a remarkable character. She doesn't let her great love excuse acts of selfishness and immorality. Despite being drawn as a somewhat submissive personality, she manages to hold her own with quiet fortitude.

As I said earlier, Jane Eyre would never be a bestseller if it were written today. But that doesn't mean it's not a great book. It's a testament to the power of pure emotion and the enduring appeal of a good story. We may have forgotten how to be real in our writing, but we can still learn from the masters like Charlotte Bronte.

How have I managed to get 34 likes on a really old rating? It's one of my very first books on Gr. Strangely, it's not even a review. Could this be some sort of reverse trolling? I find it quite puzzling.

I do sometimes like the ratings of my friends when I'm seeking their opinion on a book. However, I would never like the ratings of people I don't know. The reason is that I have no idea how their rating relates to anything. It seems rather random to me.

I wrote this on 25th Feb 2020 after noticing three new likes just last night. It makes me wonder what's going on and why these likes are coming in for this old rating.

I feel like an ass saying this but...

who actually thinks this is a cute romance!? What the actual f!!

Now that this is out of the way.

I did like Jane as a character. She was strong-willed and independent, which was refreshing. I also liked the portion of the book about her childhood. It was interesting to see how she grew up and became the person she was.

However, the two Romances in the book were train wrecks. Mr. Rochester was a complex character, but I just couldn't bring myself to like him. And as for St. John, he was too cold and unfeeling.

If I hear anyone say they love M. Rochester, I will forever judge you. I just don't understand how anyone could find him attractive.

Pride and Prejudice > Jane Eyre.

There I said it. I know some people might disagree with me, but that's just my opinion.

Well, I can do that, too.

CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH REVIEWS*
(*entertainment purposes only)

HAMLET v. JANE EYRE

Setting: World Courts buildings, Den Haag, Netherlands; a closed-session hearing. The atmosphere is tense as the fate of a nation hangs in the balance.

Judge: I have agreed to hear this case, but I must admit to both parties that we are in uncharted legal territory. Both parties must understand that I have very little administrative guidance with which to make a decision. This is a very public dispute, and the fate of a nation rests on my decision, so my decision - which is binding and final - will rest heavily on what I think is in the best interests of the Danish people. Agreed?

(all parties nod in agreement)

Judge: (to Hamlet) Prince Hamlet, I must admit: I’m astonished that you come to be in my court today. I thought you were dead by poison from the blade of Laertes.

Hamlet: A sub-lethal dose, it turns out, your Honor.

Judge: (nodding) Well, during your period of coma and internment in your family mausoleum, young Fortinbras here claimed your kingdom, citing the documents we reviewed earlier. (pauses to read some legal notes) Some of the changes made under Fortinbras’ rule have been very popular with the Danish public. The court is reluctant to overturn his claim.

(to Fortinbras) And who is this woman sitting with you?

Fortinbras: Your Honor, this is Jane Eyre, Governess of the Rochester Bank of London - which is the IMF’s (International Monetary Fund’s) appointed agent for the establishment of a Danish central bank, and the restructuring of the Danish economy.

Jane Eyre: (nodding deferentially) Your Honor..

Judge: (nods) My lady…

Hamlet: Your Honor, the creation of that central bank you mention is a point I’d like to address immediately. The gold coin of my father’s realm has been stable for centuries. The fiat notes Ms Eyre and her cronies would print bear no true value. (produces chart) This chart here shows how every fiat currency in history has either failed, or is in the process of failing. (motions to chart)

Judge: (looks over his glasses at the chart, then over to Jane) This seems quite compelling, Ms. Eyre. What have you to say about this?

Jane Eyre: (condescending) A modern, elastic currency is the only way to capitalize economic growth in Prince Hamlet’s backward little country. His people are living in the… well at least the 16th century, if not earlier.

Hamlet: Yes, it’s true, we haven’t had the Agricultural Revolution yet, but we need that to happen before we can industrialize… in order to free up manpower off the farms.

Fortinbras: (sniffing derisively) Ridiculous! The World Bank has already done an analysis of the Danish economy, and endorses our plans to industrialize immediately. We plan to get the necessary human by importing food and forcing displaced farm labor into the cities. By importing medical advances as well, we can also extend the population‘s lifespan, which will produce more slaves, er, labor force.

Judge: (conflicted) Medical advances are a good thing…

Jane Eyre: (triumphant) Yes, for starters, the Rochester Bank of England has begun construction of the Ophelia Memorial State Mental Hospital in downtown Elsinore.

Hamlet: (indignant) To be administered by a Mrs. Poole - a close personal associate of Ms. Eyre’s, it turns out! This is but one of many examples of the cronyism and corruption this IMF restructuring has brought to Denmark’s fair shores!

Jane Eyre: (with a subtle nod and wink to the Judge) Naturally, the IMF reserves the right to appoint able and vetted candidates of its own choosing, to oversee its projects…

Hamlet: (pointing at Fortinbras) And this scoundrel would enslave my subjects in servitude of debt… borrowing from the World Bank to fund a massive hydroelectric power plant!

Judge: Hydroelectric power? That sounds good to me. It’s infrastructure.

Hamlet: Infrastructure is great, but how about something relevant to the local economy? We aren’t industrialized yet… what do we need all that electricity for?

Jane Eyre: RBM (Rochester Business Machines) wants to build a factory in Denmark for the manufacture of circuit boards…

Hamlet: (standing up) Yes, at slave wages! Why not grow local businesses? Why not build port facilities to help the already-extant Danish fishing industry? Why not facilitate domestic trade by building roads and railways? Why not improve public health by building a solid waste treatment plant? (motioning in Fortinbras’ general direction) THIS sort of infrastructure mainly benefits IMF cronies, who move in and exploit my subjects!

Fortinbras: (offended) “Solid waste”? How lewd!

Jane Eyre: (irritated) Judge, this Prince is obviously an insular autocrat who wishes to keep his people in the Stone… er, Elizabethan Age! His resistance to our humanitarian assistance is an injustice to the Danish people, a threat to free trade, and a refusal to peaceably enter into to the community of modern, enlightened nations. He’s a terrorist!

Judge: (appalled) A terrorist?!??

Jane Eyre: (meekly) No? Um… well, I meant figuratively speaking. An “intellectual terrorist”, if you will.

Hamlet: (pleading to Judge) My kingdom merely wishes to neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Judge: (thinks for a second) Hmmm… yes… because loan oft loses both itself and friend.

(Hamlet nods and smiles)

Judge and Hamlet in unison: And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry!

Judge: (standing up) YES!! I see your point exactly, fair Prince! This court hereby recognizes the government of Prince Hamlet of Denmark, and declares all claims of Fortinbras’ on that kingdom to be null and void! (bangs gavel loudly several times)

(Fortinbras and Jane Eyre stand up, outraged)

Fortinbras: Oh, wretched villainy!

Jane Eyre: YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! YOU JUST MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!!! YOU JUST TANGLED WITH FORCES GREATER THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY COMPREHEND!!

(Jane rushes at the Judge, but is held back by a bailiff)

Bailiff: I’m sorry, Ma’am, Judge Birdopoulos has made his ruling.

Jane Eyre: (shaking her fists at the heavens) NOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!

MATCH POINT: HAMLET

Narrator: …And thus a tiny country was rescued, which would grow to one day be the greatest economy on Earth, and which saved the rest of its fellow nations from a great Dark Ages, when the great collapse of fiat currencies came.

THE END.

I am a person who often displays pretentious tendencies.

I strive to appear "hip," "cool," "relatable," and "down with the teens," and I truly believe I possess all these qualities. However, I also have my moments of pretension. It's an inherent part of who I am. Just last night, the thought of popular music made me shudder, as if I were an eight-hundred-year-old gremlin.

I'm not proud of this aspect of myself, but it's important for you, dear Reader, to know this background information as you approach this review. (That direct address to you was my attempt to emulate the style of this book, not an example of my pretension. Or was it???)

Anyway, it's crucial that you understand my capacity for pretension so that I can make this bold statement: I don't understand how any reader can claim not to like classics.

Wow, that's quite a statement, isn't it? Aren't you glad I gave you a heads-up? Now you know that this wasn't just a one-time display of self-serious condescension but rather a pattern of my personality. Oh sh*t, actually, my explanation might have made the whole thing even worse. Now I've painted myself as insufferably consistent.

Come back, everyone! Let me explain! What I need to clarify is that this book is truly excellent and a classic. It's very old, but sometimes old things are still worth reading! (I should know. I have the mannerisms of a grumpy old man who gets endearingly profiled in Scandinavian bestsellers.)

This isn't the classic I would recommend to someone just starting to explore the genre. It's very slow-paced, wordy, and the language takes some getting used to. But this book is a literal gem.

Published in 19th century England, which wasn't exactly Progressive Central, this book is surprisingly feminist when considering the constraints it and its author, Jane, were working under. Jane is an independent woman, and this book from 1847 tells her story.

Now, I love Jane Austen books as much as the next girl (if the next girl is completely obsessed with Jane Austen), but not all of her books can claim to be as feminist as this one.

Here's what makes this book special: I love 19th century fiction (or what I've read of it), but even if you didn't, you'd probably still love this book. So much of it is unique, not just by the standards of then but also by today's standards. It's a romance, which is extremely common, but it's a romance between two characters who aren't conventionally beautiful, which is incredibly rare.

It's also not a romance where marriage is the only option for the female character. I love Pride & Prejudice, and I think Lizzie Bennet is a feminist (and awesome) character, but there's no way for that book to end without her getting married. Three of the five Bennet sisters get married in that book. It's either marriage or being an old maid.

But not little Jane Eyre. She doesn't let marriage be the only prospect for her! She goes away, makes a life for herself, and then decides whether she wants to follow that path. We don't even see that in every 21st century romance.

Plus, Jane is an excellent character, and of a type we rarely see. She's serious, upstanding, smart, and moral. She has a strong mind and doesn't shy away from it. She lacks the quirkiness, humor, or adorkable clumsiness that today's female romance protagonists often have. She also lacks the 19th-century version of many of those traits. And it's so refreshing, I can't even begin to tell you.

And on top of all that, the language in this book is so beautiful that I want the whole manuscript tattooed on me. Which would be crazy, because this book is about a million pages long. And yes, it's very slow and hard to get into, and you basically have to adjust to a whole new reading experience. So I wouldn't recommend starting your 19th century fiction binge with this book.

But I would recommend getting into 19th century fiction solely for the purpose of reading this book.

Bottom line: IT'S JUST SO DAMN GOOD, YOU GUYS.

-------------

pre-review

hey um...i love this book so stupid much???

if you've got a free few hours over the course of the next few months i HIGHLY recommend rereading this book at a snail's pace. worked out for me very well.

i should probably shout about my adoration of this book for several pages so. full review 2 come

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” This powerful quote from Jane Eyre sets the tone for a remarkable story. I've always had a deep love for the classics, and Jane Eyre holds a special place among them. It has been captivating my interest for over ten years and remains a cherished part of my library. I own numerous beautiful editions of this book, along with Wuthering Heights, and I have no intention of stopping my collection. Just last night, I used my Capital One points to purchase another edition. Don't judge!

The story of Jane Eyre is a Gothic melodrama told in the first person by the titular character. Jane's life begins with her living under the harsh guardianship of a relative who treats her more like an unwanted heirloom than a member of the household. Eventually, she is sent to a boarding school run by a religious fanatic. However, Jane manages to escape and finds employment as a governess at Thornfield Hall.

At Thornfield, Jane is employed by the brooding and enigmatic Edward Rochester. As time passes, Jane's hardened heart begins to soften, not only towards Mr. Rochester but also towards those who have wronged her in the past. But her path to happiness is far from smooth. She experiences disappointment and heartbreak before finally achieving a well-deserved happily ever after.

What I love about the plot is its combination of simplicity and a gritty twist in the middle. The idea of Mr. Rochester having a wife still living is truly unexpected and adds a layer of drama to the story. Of course, in that era, a bigamous marriage was a scandal, and it remains illegal to this day. The torment that Jane endures is masterfully crafted, from her escape from Thornfield to her doomed courtship with St John Rivers and her return to find Rochester blind. It keeps the reader on the edge of their seat, eager for more.

Jane is a character that anyone can't help but love. She's like the big sister every girl dreams of having - feisty, intelligent, and fiercely loyal. However, in the beginning of the book, she does display a certain naivety, perhaps due to her desperate need for love. But as the story progresses, we see her grow into a strong woman who can hold her own. What I admire most about Jane is that she never allows her heart to rule her head. Even when it means sacrificing her own happiness, she remains true to her principles.

Rochester is also one of my favorite characters. He's brooding, difficult, and stubborn, but beneath it all, he has a kind and loving heart. However, he's a bit too accustomed to getting his own way, and he doesn't always appreciate Jane's independence. When Jane returns after leaving Thornfield, Rochester nearly pushes her away again, causing the reader to panic. Thankfully, he realizes his mistake in time, and all ends well. Even when he's blinded and incapacitated, he still maintains his commanding presence.

Jane Eyre can be intimidating at first, especially because of the language, which is quite different from what we're used to today. But once you get past that, the story is truly wonderful. The descriptions in the book are excellent, evoking passion and raw emotion in the reader while still keeping the story grounded. Bronte's ability to bring the characters to life is remarkable, and the combination of their different personalities adds depth and complexity to the story.

In conclusion, Jane Eyre is a well-rounded book that should be a part of every library. I highly recommend it! It takes you to another era and reminds you that sometimes, it's better to step away from the modern world and experience life in a different way. So, pick up a copy of Jane Eyre and let yourself be transported to a world of romance, drama, and unforgettable characters.

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If you have a penchant for fantastically depressing subject matter that would bring tears to the eyes of Dickens himself (envision orphans, typhoid-ridden boarding schools, and crazy individuals confined to attics) and an irritating protagonist who can't seem to make up her mind whether she's independent or submissive, then you might very well like this book. I'll be the first to admit that I took a certain enjoyment from the mystery aspect of the story. However, as soon as Jane figures out what's responsible for the strange noises late at night and for setting fire to Mr. Rochester's bed, the plot seems to take a nosedive. The mystery is resolved approximately halfway through the narrative, leaving a significant portion of the plot with not much of substance happening. Additionally, one of the supporting characters communicates almost entirely in French, and Charlotte Bronte shows little inclination towards translating it, which could prove to be a source of frustration for those who are unable to read French.

Read for: 12th grade AP English

UPDATE:

Does anyone else read "Hark! A Vagrant"? It's a webcomic, and it's truly amazing. Anyhow, I was perusing through the archive and came across something that essentially encapsulates how I feel about the Brontes. Enjoy.

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php...

This story started out with great strength, immediately enthralling me and wrapping me up tightly in the captivating Gothic world. The atmosphere was so palpable that it felt as if I had been transported directly into that mysterious and somewhat eerie setting.

However, as the narrative progressed, it did seem to drag a bit in the middle. There were moments when the pacing slowed down, and I found myself longing for the story to pick up the pace again.

Thankfully, the ending was truly satisfying. It tied up all the loose ends in a way that left me feeling both content and impressed. I truly loved all of the characters. Each one was so well-developed and unique, with their own distinct personalities and motives.

Overall, despite the slight dip in the middle, this was a great read that kept me engaged from start to finish.

Old books often seem to get a bad reputation. But do they really deserve it? Well, check out my latest BooktTube Video - all about the fabulous (and not so fabulous) Olde Bois.

In the written review, we explore the story of Jane Eyre. After being orphaned, she is sent to live with her maternal uncle and his wife, Mrs. Reed. However, Mrs. Reed is far from pleased with this arrangement and treats Jane poorly. Jane is then sent off to boarding school, where life is harsh but she finally finds what she's been missing. At the end of her time there, she becomes a governess for Mr. Rochester. But when she arrives at the house, she starts to notice some strange things. The servants know something is up, and Mr. Rochester is hiding a huge mystery. Despite the danger and the difference in social standing, Jane is falling in love.

This is my third time reading "Jane Eyre", and each time I am amazed by Jane's strength of character. She doesn't let the hardships of life break her. Instead, she straightens her shoulders and keeps going. I also noticed something different this time - how much Charlotte Bronte slipped her own beliefs into the novel. It made for a truly eye-opening reread.

For the audiobook comments, I highly recommend listening to this book if you've had trouble getting into it when reading. Read by Nadia May, it makes it much easier to understand the language and enjoy the story.

YouTube | Blog | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Snapchat @miranda_reads

One of my reading goals is to devour as much classic literature as possible. And I'm truly delighted that I selected this particular book.

Jane Eyre chronicles the tale of a highly endearing protagonist - the orphan girl Jane Eyre. After her parents' untimely demise, she lived with her aunt and three cousins who despised her with a passion. Then, at the tender age of 10, she was dispatched to a special school - an orphanage. There, after spending 8 years, she became a teacher and later a governess in a wealthy household. As the story unfolds, we witness Jane's transformation from a young, rebellious spirit to a refined, upstanding, and sweet-natured woman. She is headstrong, determined, independent, and completely selfless.

Narrated in the first person, Bronte's writing immediately immerses the reader in the story, compelling me to keep turning the pages. I found the book almost impossible to put down. The way the story unfolds is utterly captivating, and it is so brilliantly written and engaging. Having never perused any works of Charlotte Brontë before, I was initially rather skeptical about Jane Eyre, thinking it would be yet another Cinderella story (about a kind orphan girl who is harshly treated by those around her and ultimately finds her happily ever after).

Jane is such a charming character, and I'm certain that most readers can identify with her, even today, long after its first publication in 1847. Her situation and dilemmas are experiences that we all encounter at some point in our lives. It's no wonder that this story has endured the test of time, and I firmly believe that in the future, this fine specimen of English literature will have just as many fans as it does today.

I urge you to read Jane Eyre - you won't be disappointed!

I'm bumping Jane Eyre up to the full five stars on this reread.

It has its Victorian melodramatic moments. There's the horrible aunt and cousins. And there's the mad wife secretly hidden away in the attic. The heroine even starves in the wilderness!

But overall, I found this story of a plain, obscure girl determined to maintain her self-respect and do what she feels is right, even in the face of pressure, profoundly moving.

I'm a romantic, and this aspect really sucked me in too. It's not just a great romance; it's so much more.

Reasons I Love Jane Eyre:

1. Jane is no beauty. There's no Cinderella moment. Her beauty is all on the inside.

2. Rochester isn't gorgeous either. In fact, his appearance gets worse in the end. But it doesn't matter! When's the last time you read a romance where neither the heroine nor the hero was good-looking?

3. The dialogue is great. Rochester makes sarcastic comments to Jane all the time, and she sasses him right back.

4. This is a romance of the mind and the heart, not just about physical attraction.

5. Jane maintains her pride and self-respect. She sticks to her principles, even when it's hard.

6. Jane Eyre has a nuanced view of religion. There are different types of people, from hypocrites to saints.

7. Jane teaches us that we can take control of our lives and decide our own destiny.

8. Jane Eyre empowered women when they were considered second-class citizens, and it still does today.

Buddy (re-)read with Jess, Karly, Vane, Kristin, Rabbit, and Andrea.

P.S. The Kindle version available for free at Project Gutenberg has wonderful pencil drawing illustrations.

Bonus: excerpts from Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters **spoiler alert**

JANE
MY LITTLE SUNBEAM
WHERE ARE YOU
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

I’m taking a walk
be back for dinner

AH YES MY CAGED SPRITE
COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND UPON YOUR RETURN
RELATE TO ME THE VAGRANT GLORIES OF THE RUINED WOODS

do you really want me to describe my walk to you

MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU POCKET WITCH

it is fairly cloudy out
looks like rain soon

AHHH TO THINK THAT MY LITTLE STARLING JANE
SHOULD RETURN
TO PERCH ON MY BROKEN MALFORMED SHOULDER
SINGING A SONG OF THE GREY AND WRACKING SKIES
MAKES MY HEART SWELL TO BURST

all right

—

JANE WHERE HAVE YOU GONE
I AM BEREFT AND WITHOUT MY JANE I SHALL SINK INTO ROGUERY

i am with my cousins

WHICH COUSIN
IS IT THE SEXY ONE

Please don’t try to talk to me again

IT IS YOUR SEXY COUSIN
“ST. JOHN”
WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS ST. JOHN

I’m not going to answer that

I KNEW IT
DID YOU LEAVE BECAUSE OF MY ATTIC WIFE
IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT

yes
absolutely

BECAUSE MY HOUSE IN FRANCE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE AN ATTIC
IF THAT’S WHAT YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT
IT HAS A CELLAR THOUGH SO YOU KNOW
DON’T CROSS ME
HAHA I’M ONLY JOKING