This book is very sad and honestly hard to read. It’s heartbreaking to think of the hopelessness addicts feel and the capture that addiction has on people. As needed as this book is, I fear it’d be difficult for addicts to read without feeling triggered.

I really appreciate the end sections on overcoming the addiction and especially the chapter about how the 12 step program systematically rewrites an addicts core beliefs.

https://booklvrslounge.blogspot.com/2...

Run and find Don't Call It Love. This is the condensed version of that. If you're looking for a book like this in the first place, you don't really want the condensed version.

Opened my eyes as to why a child and adult of sexual abuse would become so addicted to sex themselves...

The book I recommend the individuals and couples coping with sexual addiction.

Read this a couple of times several years ago. Found it shocking at the time but I've read a lot of other books on the topic since then so I don't know if it would have the same effect again. I plan to read it again.

I suspect that here theists and atheists would agree: Human beings have within them the ability to choose evil or good. We wake up each day facing the age-old struggle of good and evil. In some situations, mental illness clouds our judgment.

Adam Hamilton

A great primer for understanding.

A very good read. Simple, straightforward, written authoritatively. Eye-opening to the world of addiction, specifically sex addiction. It made me feel compassion.

This is a very dark book to get through. Especially this first half. But it will be very useful in my ecclesiastical work with folks who struggle with this kind of thing. Sexual addiction is such a devastating thing for victims, family, friends and the addicted. It’s hard, but it’s an honor to try and help in some small way.

I think the book did a good job explaining the cycle, and steps etc. of sexual addictions. What probably wouldn't be as helpful (for an addict) is reading some of the examples, that were usually pretty basic, but still may sometimes give too much of an idea. But then again, maybe it's what people need to read/know to see that their behavior truly is abnormal and unhealthy.

For those readers looking to better understand sexual addiction, hyper-sexual disorder or compulsive libido levels I simply can’t recommend this book. Patrick Carnes is a true behaviorist attempting to create tools to manage, not recovery, from a biologically rooted issue. In essence, he’s performing weed control with scissors. To best understand why there are better choices I’ll introduce Dr. Carnes’ clinical perspective on sex as an alternate title of the book, such as: “You’ve been having sex for all the wrong reasons; Sexual Addiction; when sex becomes confused with comforting and nurturing.” Instead, Dr. Carnes perceives sex as simply a ‘mood-altering experience’ and sexual addiction is merely a “pathological relationship” to that experience. So not only has your reason to engage in sex been criticized, but he continues a near constant negative view of ‘the experience’ from cover to cover. Further proving his behaviorist stance, Dr. Carnes is convinced that a dysfunctional childhood is the genesis to all sexual addictions (p 41). He’s unsure of his position on self-comforting throughout the book while listing one of the core value recovery stages is that others can fulfill your needs if you let them know what they are; regardless if they are healthy or not. Soon, the reader becomes obsessive in finding the author's definition of normal or ideal intimacy, sexual behavior and manliness.
On a positive note, Dr. Carnes’ treatment plan is modifying the AA 12-step process towards managing, but not recovering from, this pathological lifestyle. Fortunately, this list is truly the best part of the book and should be at the front and not at the end. It is helpful and I recommend the workbook that walks the willing and teachable reader through the painful steps; (Facing the Shadow Patrick Carnes, Gentle Path Press., 2015)
To those looking for the faith-led book this is far from that. While Dr. Carnes mentions God in his 12-step process, his perspective of Him is someone who simply ‘removes’ the blemishes of addiction without prayer or repentance. May I recommend a much better book which chooses not to victimize the reader's past, but encourage towards full-recovery through biological, behavioral and spiritual management of hyper-sexual drives. (Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction, Mark Laasar, Zondervan Press., 2004).