The first two chapters are the best in which the author shines at her best. The remaining chapters I just skipped through.

"As far as I know, everyone feels fear as he or she moves forward through life. It is absolutely possible that there are some evolved souls in this world who never experience fear, but I have not met them. If I do, I promise I will become their avid student and report back to you with their secrets..."

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway was a great book. I've been reading a lot of books about mindset recently, so I put this one on my list when I came across it.

Author Susan Jeffers was an American psychologist and author of self-help literature. Sadly, when I went to gather some information on the author for this review, I learned that she died in 2012, from some horrible cancer. Damn, how sad. RIP...

n  Susan Jeffers:n
n  n

Jeffers gets the book off on a good foot, with a great intro. She writes in a natural easy and engaging style. Accordingly, the book is very readable. Interestingly enough, despite how popular the book would become, she mentions that she had quite a lot of trouble getting it published in the first place.

She talks about negative self-talk here; taking a deep dive into that horrible voice inside our heads. Negative self-talk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, she says. She stresses the importance of positivity, citing the example of Pollyanna, and asks “What’s so terrible about Pollyanna, anyway?" and following up with: "If being a Pollyanna creates a happier world for you and those around you, why hesitate for one more moment?"

Positivity, and positive self-talk are topics that come up again and again in books about mastery and mindset. It is a common theme.
The voice inside your head is just an opinion, she says. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) agrees. Often the voice is not leading you in the right direction, and can contribute to making you feel overwhelmed and discouraged from taking positive action. She calls the voice "the chatterbox," and advises the reader to "not let the chatterbox take over."

The scope of the book is quite broad, and Jeffers talks about many different aspects of people's lives; from their personal goals, to business and career goals, to their personal lives and relationships. She uses many different case studies to help drive her writing home.
Viktor E. Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning is mentioned numerous times.

I found much of Jeffer's writing to be very insightful, as well as actionable. The book is a no-nonsense guide to help people overcome the negativity, fear and/or despair and depression that often weighs them down, and prevents them from achieving their full potentials.
n  

"As Rollo May wrote in Man's Search for Himself: “Every organism has one and only one central need in life, to fulfill its own potentialities.” He goes on to say that joy is the result of using our powers to their fullest, and for that reason, joy, not happiness, is the goal of life..."

n
************************

As briefly mentioned at the start of this review, I really enjoyed Jeffer's writing here. I think she did a fantastic job with the research, editing and presentation of this book.
5 stars.

It was a good book that reinforced a lot of the ideas I've been given in both individual and group therapy, and I'd recommend it to anyone with anxiety. The one complaint I have is that the author has some very irritating attitudes towards disability and chronic illness. In more than one anecdote, she implies that a patient was faking or making up an illness and once they adopted a positive attitude, all their symptoms disappeared. For people with chronic illness, we already face doctors and peers telling us we're just hypochondriacs and it's all mental. Having a positive attitude can help deal with illness and disability, but it is not a magical cure for real physical illnesses and disabilities, and those anecdotes felt dismissive and insulting.

I stopped reading when she started dictating how cancer patients should feel and implying that how you feel is always a choice. Also, the "Pollyanna" style of positive thinking she advocated can often be like putting a plaster (band-aid) on a broken leg. I may reattempt this in future because my GP was the one who recommended it and lots of people have found it useful (it's even one of Reading Well's Books on Prescription).

Update (21/12/2022): I read the QuickReads edition of "Feel the Fear..." this week, which I would give two stars to because the useful stuff is so much easier to find. However, I still don't appreciate the refrain that you shouldn't blame anything external for your distress and it's all created through your emotions. I do agree we have a certain amount of control over our response to situations, and sometimes more than we think, but there are things that will be out of our control and allowing oneself to experience the associated negative emotions is important. The key is being able to use strategies to not get lost in the negative spiral, and to ask for help even if you're scared to do so. (Or, you might say, to feel the fear... and do it anyway... roll credits!) There was also a weird bit where she framed buying more expensive shoes as a positive step towards being less anxious, and spoke about lecturing a classroom of people who never thanked their partners for anything (??). The core ideas about fear are great, but you could probably get away with an even shorter book distilling them and removing all the nonsense.

I'm going to start this review by saying that if this book helped you, then good. The whole point of books of this genre is to help others.

For me though, this was one of the worst books I have ever had the displeasure to read. The basic idea is good - but the way the author goes about suggesting you conquer it is, to me, beyond simplistic. I will say that this could be due to this being an abridged version of the book, and potentially the bits that were cut were all the bits that provided depth.

There were so many parts of this I had issues with that actually had a decent logic and had they been better utilised I think this could have saved itself the 1 star rating but the utter lack of thought that this book shows means this would be a 0 star rating if I could get away with it.

For example - the book suggests that you take responsibility for things. I agree, this is a good thing to do. But the examples given - accepting it your fault for losing your job? Well, if you're lazy and don't show up then fair enough, but what if you work (as friends of mine did) at a huge FTSE250 company and you're made redundant? Short of being given visions of the future and ignoring them how do you claim responsibility for that? Hit by a driver - yeah you're responsible for being in the drivers way - cars get right of way everywhere afterall.... oh, here's another exagerrated example of the skewed logic presented here. Taking responsibility for having an incurable illness - clearly we should take responsibility for not being God and being able to heal anything...

Or what about the example of spending more money on a pair of shoes to take you out your comfort zone? Maybe the comfort zone is due to a budget, or common sense that spending £75 on a pair of shoes is just dumb.

Then there's the author saying you should grieve positively - now yes some people can seem to go OTT but that's your opinion. If someone is grieving who the hell are others to judge how they do it? Same with thanking people who make you angry. In concept yes I can see that, and I agree that I am thankful for the things I have gone through as they have made me who I am today. But why the hell should I ever thank the bullies and the twits for making part of my life a living hell?

Honestly, so much of this book comes across as using films or books rather than real life to create the logic it uses. I certainly wouldn't pick up another book by this author if I didn't have to and I'd never recomend this to anyone either.

To shake things up a bit for our radio book club shows we decided to read a regular book but also some kind of factual one

My copy proudly declares it’s a 20th anniversary edition so my first concern was if it would still be relevant in today’s society and after reading through it I would say yes. The only really out of bit parts are technological. In one chapter she mentions picking up the phone or writing a letter and getting in touch with people. While still positives to do these days you’re more likely to text, tweet or email.

The first part of the book asks you to list your fears in general but suggests that they fall into different levels. Level 1 fears are things that may happen such as being alone. Level 2 is why that fear may happen so being alone due to rejection or vulnerable and then the deepest fear of all, Level 3, is based on your negativity to these fears “I can’t handle it”. There are a few exercises in the book (not enough for me, I would’ve preferred more but it may be enough for others) and one is to create your “Pain to Power” chart. Basically a line where you mark off where you stand so if you are happy in your job you may mark that closer to the Power point but unhappy with your love life then mark closer to the Pain point.

There’s a good section following on from that which helps you turn negative phrases into more positive ones and how to speak & think in a more positive, honest way. For example “I can’t go to the party” could be “I can go to the party but I don’t want to as I’d rather stay at home and watch the new series of Sherlock Holmes”. Ok that may be a bit negative to the one throwing the party but it will apparently help you break down your own fears. Might be something to just think rather than say out loud!

One of the things I found reading through the book and listing my own personal fears is that the book helped me to actually focus on all these and I managed to find a common denominator so rather than several issues I really only have the one but it impacts on several areas of my life. The question now is to work on that fear and break it down into smaller areas I can work on that will eventually get rid of the fear in its entirety.

Chapter 6 “When “they” don’t want you to grow” was one I found fascinating. It describes how on your positive journey you will meet people that resist your growth and try and sabotage it with lots of ways in which you can learn to deal with them. Some are simple but there are harsher elements such as ridding your life of these people including an example of a woman that did just that and got a divorce!

All in all despite its age it is still probably one of the better self help books on the market with suggestions that stand the test of time.

Awful book that contains a lot of shaming and blame for those who suffer with illnesses and chronic sickness. I actually can't believe this book is so celebrated.

Γενικά δεν μου αρέσει να διαβάζω βιβλία ψυχολογίας και αυτοβοήθειας γιατί όσες φορές το έχω επιχειρήσει βρήκα τον τρόπο με τον οποίο απευθύνονται οι ψυχολόγοι και οι σύμβουλοι στο αναγνωστικό κοινό, πολύ δεσποτικό και απότομο που το μόνο που καταφέρνει είναι να σε κάνει να αισθανθείς ακόμη πιο άσχημα. Ωστόσο η Sysan Jeffers διαφέρει μιας και γενικά έχει σε όλο το βιβλίο μια πολύ θετική στάση και προσπαθεί να ενισχύσει με κάθε τρόπο τους αναγνώστες.Βέβαια με πολλά από αυτά που λέει δεν συμφωνώ όπως ας πούμε ότι εμείς αποκλειστικά φέρουμε την ευθύνη και τον έλεγχο για ότι συμβαίνει στη ζωή μας αλλά δεν πρέπει να αισθανόμαστε άσχημα με τα λάθη μας και ότι μόνο αν συγχωρήσουμε όλους τους ανθρώπους ακόμη και αυτούς που μας έχουν κάνει το μέγιστο κακό θα μπορούμε να πάμε παρακάτω στη ζωή μας και να εξελιχθούμε.Δεν είναι άσχημα αυτά που λέει απλά λίγο αδύνατο να εφαρμοστούν μιας και οι περισσότεροι άνθρωποι δεν έχουν ούτε αυτή την ωριμότητα, ούτε αυτό το μεγαλείο ψυχής, ούτε την αυτοπεποίθηση που χρειάζεται για να το κάνουν.
Από την άλλη υπήρχαν κάποια κομμάτια του βιβλίου που με βοήθησαν και με ενθάρρυναν ιδιαίτερα ειδικά το κεφάλαιο που αφορά τη λήψη αποφάσεων, τα διλήμματα και τις σωστές επιλογές το βρήκα πολύ εμψυχωτικό όπως και τους τρόπους που προτείνει για την αντιμετώπιση της αρνητικότητας και τους στόχους που βάζει κανείς στη ζωή.
Συνολικά θα έλεγα πως μου άρεσαν οι συμβουλές που προσπαθεί να δώσει μέσω του βιβλίου και τα μηνύματα που θέλει να περάσει απλά θεωρώ πως είναι πολύ δύσκολο να εφαρμοστούν στον σύγχρονο και αγχωτικό τρόπο ζωής και θέλει μακρόχρονη προσπάθεια που μπορεί να έχει και τα αντίθετα αποτελέσματα δηλαδή να φθείρει κάποιον συναισθηματικά.Επίσης το να είσαι τόσο θετικός και δοτικός μπορεί εν τέλει να δημιουργήσει στους άλλους την εικόνα του θύματος για το πρόσωπο σου.
Πάντως το βιβλίο σίγουρα έχει ως στόχο να βοηθήσει και να εμψυχώσει,σε καμιά περίπτωση να επικρίνει και να κατηγορήσει κάτι που το εκτιμώ πολύ.

A great book for everyone even if you don't think the title applies to you.
Sometimes the only way to overcome the fear and feel better about yourself is to just go out and do it. But it also talks about taking more control of your life instead of indecision ruling because of being afraid of making mistakes. Tells you how to move from a position of pain ("It's not my fault, I'm never satisfied, It's terrible") to one of power ("I'm totally responsible, I want to learn and grow, It's a learning experience"). Making your life well-rounded and "whole". Basically just having a great attitude and how that changes everything. Some of it reminded me very much of "The Secret".

في الحقيقة تقييم لن يكون دقيقاً، لكني على كل حال سأكتب تجربتي الشخصية معه.

الكتاب جيد وغير جيد.
غير جيِّد لأن المؤلفة ذكرت أن حل مشكلة الخوف ليس لازماً أن نعود إلى جذورها التي كونتها. وشخصياً، أعتقد أن هذا إلى حد ما غير دقيق، أو يحتاج إلى تدقيق. لأنه كما ذكرت في غيرما كتاب أن أكثر مشاكلنا اليوم هي نتاج طفولتنا.

النقطة الأولى: بشكل شخصي أحببت الكتب التي تبدأ في حل المشكلة من أساسها بدلا من إعطاء أساليب وعلاجات لمعالجة الأعراض
symptomatic treatment
وهذه الطريقة يستخدمها ( جون غراي في كتابه ما تشعر به ) وَ ( كيث هاريل في طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم ) وغيرهما من الكتب

وقال لي أحد الأطباء النفسيين أن كلا الطريقتين مستخدمة، وإن كانوا يتجهون إلى الطريقة الثانية الآن.

النقطة الثانية: كثير أو أكثر أفكار الكتاب هي تماماً (١٠٠٪) أفكار كتاب كيث هاريل / طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم، لكن طريقة عرض كيث كانت أفضل.
كذلك هناك أساليب شبيهة جداً في كتاب حقاً المريخ والزهرة لجون غراي.

حيث كانت تركز سوزان على تغيير طريقة التفكير، والاهتمام بفريق الدعم (أى: الناس المساندين لك)، والاستيقاظ كل يوم بتفاؤل وحماس.. وهذه الأفكار نفسها تماماً في كتاب طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم.

وعلى العموم، هي أفكار مشتركة بين كثير من كتب التطوير، لذلك رأيي أن يقرأ الشخص كتاب طريقة تفكيرك هي الأهم ويريح نفسه.

النقطة الثالثة: الطبعة التي لدي قديمة ( صدرت عام ٢٠٠٥ ) لذلك بها أخطاء إملائية جعلتني أقرأ بعض الجمل مراراً وتكراراً.

ومع ذلك: لا أخفي أني استفدتُ من بعض النقاط استفادات كبيرة جدا جداً، فكل الانتقادات السابقة لا تعني أن الكتاب لا يصلح للقراءة ( وحسب اطلاعي لا يوجد كتب كثيرة أصلاً عن هذا الموضوع )، لكن هي كما ذكرت تجربة.

على غير عادة كثير من الكتب، أروع الفصول عندي كان هو الفصل الأخير، يعني كان تقريباً خلاصة الكتاب، تمنيت لو كل الكتاب كتب بروح هذا الفصل وجماله.

تجربتي مع د. سوزان جيفزي لم تكن محفزة ١٠٠٪، لكنها مع ذلك لم تكن مثبطة ١٠٠٪، وآمل أن أبدأ بقراءة كتابها الثاني: احتضان المجهول، فربنا يكون أفضل من أخيه.

《هو الحق》
من میکروکتاب کتاب رو با عنوان با ترس‌هایت مواجه شو از طاقچه شنیدم.
جالب بود.
ناشر صوتی: سبکتو

Man. How do you rate a book that steadily devolves from five stars down to one star?

This starts out as a five star book. The first few chapters of this book have probably altered my world view permanently. Here's the gist of what really hit home for me:

At the heart of every fear we have is one single fear: "I can't handle it." This is an absolute revelation, at least to me, because it means that there is one reliable (though still not easy) formula to be used for overcoming fear: convince yourself that you can handle it.

She goes on to explain that the more we do things we're afraid of, thus proving to ourselves that we CAN handle danger, uncertainty, loss, loneliness, etc., the more we can feel confident that we will be able to handle similar experiences in the future. In other words, facing our fears is something we can practice and get better at, even if we can never completely obliterate fear from our lives.

She goes on to talk about decision making. Decision making often induces fear because we're scared that if we make the wrong decision it can have disastrous consequences. She suggests that instead of thinking of a decision in terms of a "right choice" and a "wrong choice," we think of them simply as different choices, and that with the right attitude, we can experience growth and fulfillment in our lives regardless of which choice we make. She points out how even in horrible circumstances (losing a job, being diagnosed with cancer, losing a loved one), we are given tremendous opportunities to experience personal growth, and it gives us confidence to emerge triumphant from difficult circumstances.

All great, great advice that I will definitely take to heart. She then goes on to talk about positive affirmations, achieving balance in life, choosing to love those who we feel have wronged us. This is where the book started to take a turn for the worse. I actually agreed with a lot of what she was saying. I don't deny that it's good to surround yourself with supportive people. I agree that it's good to identify goals in our lives and work towards them. But ... read the summary of this book:

"Are you afraid of making decisions . . . asking your boss for a raise . . . leaving an unfulfilling relationship . . . facing the future? Whatever your fear, here is your chance to push through it once and for all. In this enduring guide to self-empowerment, Dr. Susan Jeffers inspires us with dynamic techniques and profound concepts that have helped countless people grab hold of their fears and move forward with their lives." Around Chapter 3 (only 15% into the book!), Jeffers starts veering pretty far away from the subject of facing your fears. A book should not be marketed as "Learn to face your fears!" if the majority of the book is only tangentially related to that subject.

And then there was chapter 11. Allow me to post an excerpt from chapter 11:

"I believe that what all of us are really searching for is this divine essence within ourselves. When we are far from our Higher Self, we feel what Roberto Assagioli has so aptly called 'Divine Homesickness.' When you are feeling this sense of being lost, or off course, the thing to do to find your way home again is simply to use the tools that will align you with your Higher Self--and thus allow the good feelings to flow once again." This is the point at which, in my mind, the book became a one star book.

In summary, I think this book idea would have made an excellent essay or pamphlet. The first two chapters were invaluable. The rest were filler.