Lynne Truss is fabulous. This book, however, is not.

Basically, it lacks direction. A collection of essays on the six things society has embraced which will make you want to remain at home with the door barred, it takes its brief a little too intelligently, including quotes from anthropoligical texts such as Kate Fox's Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour alongside Truss's trademark middle-aged cat-lady rants. Coupled with the rather slight chapter headings it makes for an odd mix which doesn't quite work - sure, I get annoyed by stuff too, but there is a point where I stop analysing why it happens, usually because I need to cook the dinner.

Truss is a smart writer and she does hew some interesting aspects from a saturated (even for the original publication date) subject, but I don't see the point of this one. It's not really a funny book (although parts are amusing) and it's not really an educational book (although I learned something) and if it had been longer and I hadn't been taking a bath I would likely have quit.

Two stars, just for making me go and look up some of the texts she's mentioned.

As a self-described grammar nerd (and I am not the only one who calls me such; sorry, friends and family!), Lynne Truss's 2003 primer Eats, Shoots and Leaves is among my very favourite non-fiction joys. Her anecdote at the beginning of the book, of picketing the London premiere of the Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock rom-com Two Weeks Notice with an apostrophe, missing from the title for no discernible reason, marked her as a kindred spirit, and the whole of the text is filled to the brim with such accessible advice and palpable rage over the decline of proper punctuation throughout the English-speaking world that it sang to me and my semantic, pedantic soul as have few books before or since.

Like Eats, Shoots and Leaves, this book is Truss on the rampage, but instead of being fed up when apostrophes are misplaced, she is furious about the steady decline of mannerliness. Quoting liberally from other sources -- I was chuffed to see her reference George Mikes's 1940's classic How to Be Inimitable; I stumbled upon that book as a teenager and still adore it -- she uses real world examples and scholarly think pieces to explore the burgeoning culture of rudeness, as well as its possible causes, with particular emphasis, of course, on her native Britain. 

Truss's vehemence on the subject is both energizing and amusing, and while I personally don't agree with all of her pet peeves -- though I doubtless have others of my own -- this erudite, literary version of shouting at kids to get off your lawn is an eminently satisfying visit with a stickler for courtliness (or, at least, common courtesy) with whom I do have rather a lot in common, I have to confess. Much has, of course, changed societally, in the decade-and-a-half since Talk to the Hand was penned, and the title has dated even more than the text. (It's such an aughties expression, isn't it?) Nevertheless, the book remains immensely enjoyable and relevant -- and highly relatable, as well.

Now, if you'll excuse me, for some reason I feel the need to send the author a thank you note...

Truss wrote this book before 2005 and if anything, rudeness has increased in the past 18 years. She gives 6 areas in which we are a ruder and less considerate world in our actions and in our words. We don't say thank you or you're welcome. We are expected to be our own service department in trying to get through to a company's service provider. People act as if public spaces are their own private space and talk loudly on their mobile phones wherever they happen to be. The "eff" word is common parlance nowadays even more so than it was 15 years ago. Can't wait for it to lose it's shock value and drop out of use.
Truss writes wittily and accurately about the lack of common courtsey in today's world - a world that has degenerated even more as people take a side in the mask and vaccination issues arising from the recent pandemic.

It was OK. Nowhere near as good as "Eats, Shoots & Leaves", though. In fact, in parts it came across as positively fuddy-duddy, old-fashioned and technophobic to boot. The rants about the internet seemed a little ill-conceived; Personally, I've never considered that the internet is there for my convenience or that it somehow owes it to me to be user-friendly. Nor do I have a problem with people using expressions such as "No problem!" instead of "You're welcome!" or "There you go!" instead of...what exactly? "Here you are!" is probably equally offensive to the author. Odd that Truss is so appreciative of French manners yet the response to "Merci!" is "De rien", which one would think Truss would find at least as obnoxious as "No problem!". And don't let's get started with "Je vous en prie!" as a response :)
There were certainly also some great parts to the book as well, and I do think that she brings up some good points about differentiating between common courtesy/respectful behaviour and "good manners/etiquette" and advocates for the former.

Talk to the Hand. Lynne Truss. 2005. Gotham Books. 202 pages. ISBN 1592401716.

Talk to the Hand's subtitle is "The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door". Author Lynne Truss (who wrote bestselling Eats, Shoots & Leaves about grammar gripes) presents a formal rant about rudeness in today's society.

This book was given to me as a gift from a fellow bookcrosser after I was rudely bashed in a forum on a website I will not mention here. Internet rudeness is nearly its own entity in the world of manners as people can remain anonymous and hide behind a computer to say things that would get their lights punched out if they were to say them in person.

Nevertheless, I read Talk to the Hand expecting humorous, uplifting stories and accounts of rudeness I could relate to, but I regret to say this book didn't have many of these elements. The book reads more like a personal essay on rudeness and covers only a few incidents already widely and globally acknowledged; such as talking on cell phones loudly in public and holding doors open for people without receiving thank-yous.

Furthermore, the content of Talk to the Hand just isn't very interesting or engaging, and does not provide any deep insights or breakdowns of why society is ruder now than ever before. Although the intelligent reader can speculate why rudeness occurs, this book won't be very helpful to people who are truly baffled by it and want answers and explanation.

Although Talk to the Hand's title is very appealing, my interest is not even piqued enough to read Eat, Shoots & Leaves despite poor grammar being another pet peeve of mine! Sorry Lynne.

Read more reviews at http://dreamworldbooks.com.

Utterly pointless. Reads like a lengthy rant by a grumpy old lady.

Yes, we all encounter rudeness from perfect strangers almost on a daily basis. And yes, every generation feels that the next generation is ungrateful and entitled. But instead of exploring the reasons why this may be so, the author goes on ranting about how she is not thanked when she holds a door open for a stranger or how a minimum wage worker does not apologize to her when a till malfunctions or how she is forced to navigate an IVR system of her bank.

Clearly, it would serve well for the author to stay home and bolt the door. And keep her polarized opinions with her at home.

This is a non-fiction, humorous look about the rudeness of the modern world and the sense of outrage and injustice that infects us. People have lost etiquette and manners, and the author very astutely points out the many forms of the same thing. Interesting, funny, sad and intellectual.

I was excited to receive this book as a gift for Christmas, but the writing just didn't pull me in. I finished reading after 9 months. She had good points. They could have been made in a more succinct fashion and been a better read. All in all I was disappointed

Got this one in 2010 in Dundee, Scotland for £1.99 from a shop called The Works. Why can't there be such massive book sales in Greece? For all the uncouthness Talk to the Hand wants to subscribe them to, the Brits seem to know perfectly well the importance of a cheap book.

The following two excerpts are two of the parts I thought were interesting in this otherwise unmemorable book:

...meanwhile the choice impulse is being exploited to the utmost degree. "More choice than ever before!" say the advertisers. "Click and find anything in the world!" says the internet. "What people want is more choice," say the politicians. "Eight thousand things to do before you die!" offer the magazines. No wonder we are in a permanent state of agitation, thinking of all the unpicked choices and whether we've missed something. Every day, you get home from the shops with a bag of catfood and bin-liners and realise that, yet again, you failed to have cosmetic surgery, book a cheap weekend in Paris, change your name to something more galmorous, buy the fifth series of The Sopranos, divorce your spouse, sell up and move to Devon, or adopt a child from Guatemala. Personally, I'm worn down by it. And I am sure that it isn't good for us. I mean, did you know there is a website for people with internet addiction. I will repeat that. There is a WEBSITE for people with INTERNET ADDICTION. Meanwhile, a friend of mine once told me in all seriousness that having children was definitely "on the shopping list"; another recently defined her religious beliefs as "pick and mix". The idea of the world's religions forming a kind of candy display, down which you are free to wander with a paper bag and a plastic shovel, struck me as worryingly accurate about the state of confusion and decadence we've reached. Soon they'll have signs outside the churches. "Forget make-your-own pizza. Come inside for make-your-own Sermon on the Mount!" The mystery of voter apathy is explained at a stroke here, by the way. How can I vote for all the policies of either the government or the opposition? How can I give them a "mandate"? I like some of their policies, but I don't like others, and in any case I'd like to chuck in some mint creams and pineapple chunks. I insist on my right to mix and match.

...

Finally, in the Guardian in April 2005, came the story of research conducted by a psychiatrist from King's College London, which proved that the distractions of constant e-mails, text and phone messages were a greater threat to concentration and IQ than smoking cannabis. "Respondents' minds were all over the place as they faced new questions and challenges every time an e-mail dropped into their inbox," wrote Martin Wainwright. "Manners are also going by the board, with one in five of the respondents breaking off from meals or social engagements to receive and deal with messages. Although nine out of ten agreed that answering messages during face-to-face meetings or office conferences was rude, a third nonetheless felt that this had become 'acceptable and seen as a sign of diligence and efficiency'."

There was another good one about how everyday courtesy is becoming more and more similar to the kind of interaction you would expect from people behind steering wheels being angry at each other for one reason or another. This part in particular stayed with me because it reminded me of my dad. It was something he would say.

Now that I think about it, this whole book reminds me of my dad. It could have been written by him, in fact, only in that case it would have been a lot funnier.

I should just give him this book and see what happens.

In 2003, Lynne Truss wrote Eats Shoots and Leaves (about grammar and punctuation) which I loved. She wrote this book about manners and civility in 2005. I liked this book, and much of it is still true today. However, things have changed so dramatically over the past 18 years------twitter, trump, BLM, etc-----that the things that she talks and complains about in 2005 seem almost quaint when compared to the what passes for manners and civility by today's standards.

I started reading this last month before I realised that a book with the stupidly long subtitle 'The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay at home and bolt the doors)' didn't feel like a very Christmassy read. This is not a novel, simply a woman pointlessly (and quite snobbishly) moaning about stuff for 210 pages.

So, after putting it to one side for a few weeks I thought I'd finish the thing, although in hindsight I kind of wish I hadn't bothered. I'm really not quite sure of the point of this book; indeed on page 161 Truss herself states that the book has 'no discernible value' which really does make me wonder why on earth she bothered writing it.

In all honesty when I got to page 181 and read Truss's attitudes towards litter (in a nutshell she thinks people who go litter picking are weird and she would never do it because it is someone else's problem) then I just skim read the rest of the book and resolved never to read any of her other books. How's that for rudeness Miss Truss?

Well-thought-out, researched & expressed interpretation of today's manners--or lack of them, why rudeness is becoming more prevalent, and what we can do about it.