I was looking forward to getting to this because I enjoyed both Eats, Shoots and Leaves and Making the Cat Laugh. Here, though, there was just something about it that didn’t sit well with me, and instead of enjoying Truss’ writing style as I have before, I found it off-putting and kind of overblown.

To be fair, I think the biggest issue is that this is basically a book of her ranting about things that she doesn’t like about modern society, and after a while it starts to feel as though she’s going out of her way to find things to complain about instead of actually attacking what’s wrong with society with righteous anger. I also don’t think it’s aged particularly well, but perhaps I’m not the best person to judge that.

All in all, I was disappointed by this one, but I will read some more Truss in the future, I’m sure. I think I have to manage my expectations some more and to remember that while I agree with her on some stuff, I don’t agree with her on everything. It’s a shame, but there it is.

Maybe I should have read it 18 years ago when it first came out. Haha. Not very relevant now.

I read this over the course of 2 weekends. For some reason I did not read much, or any of it during the week. So, I guess I was pretty good at reading this fairly quickly.

It really takes an interesting view of what is going on with manners, particularly in the UK. It's kind of hard to really understand if this is just further evolution of what we consider manners, or if this is degradation of what we consider manners.

A lot of what she talks about goes as far back as the 19th century (maybe even further) and what has happened to manners over that period of time, over the space of six specific topics that she talks about.

If you understand the "Introduction" you really only continue to read as you want to read her writing. Her writing is really pretty gosh darn good. The Introduction even reading it the first time, I felt pretty much told the whole story that she was saying.

Sure, there are details about what she is saying that get fleshed out. But the "Coles Notes" version is pretty much the Introduction...

Maybe because I grew up in Europe and traveled 47 countries I was a lot more entertained by Lynne Truss' book "Talk to the Hand" than other readers.

In the first chapter "What's so hard to Say" Truss points out the different behaviors of Americans and French people in US and French supermarkets. I laughed and giggled because she is right.
Born in Vienna, a city where Emperor Franz Joseph I.'s aura still flourishes today, I too cringe at "... waiters who say, "There you go" as they place your bowl of soup on the table..."

As a reviewer I can also highlight the difference between American and Asian review seekers. Whereas Asian review seekers always apologize for "interrupting my day" with their request emails, hundreds of American authors will write, " Hi,
Are you interested in a free copy of the book?"

I also agree with Truss' bemoaning that we are living through the world George Orwell foresaw, Truss calls it a "... forest of belligerent and dismissive palms held up to the human face:
Thank you for choosing to hold for an assistant. There is no one help to help you at this time. An error of type 506 has occurred..."
(Nope, (a) I did not choose... (b) I expected somebody would help me... and (c) I have no idea what error 506 is, at the very least you could explain what's to do instead of forcing me to look it up myself...)

Millions of people accept these kind of responses, unquestioned, in the days when customer service is supposed to be outstanding. By accepting these responses they are not contributing to a solution.

My personal favorite of all hated standard comments are the ones customer service agents use to "empathize with the customer" and say things like, "I apologize for ... I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL."
No, you don't.
[You don't understand that this so-called inconvenience now costs me valuable 30 minutes, which will prompt me being late for another event and will cause me having to do a dozen things I did plan having to do... DON'T EVER fake empathy.]

I was delighted to find out that Truss reported about the fight between Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield at Madison Square Garden; indeed, I am a big fan of sport of the “Sweet Science." Though I am certain that I saw the fight I do not remember the British fans booing, maybe HBO or Pay-Per-View blocked it out. Apparently, British fans voiced their displeasure with the ring announcer presenting the news that Paul Simon, John Kennedy Jr., and Michael Douglas were in the crowd; only Jack Nicholson and Keith Richards were given a cheer.
[Four month later when John Kennedy Jr. died these people probably regretted at least some of the boos. Why is it that we don't treat the living like we treat the dead?]

When Truss elaborates on "abuse as the weapon of the weak becoming heavier and more blunt" she notices an interesting element that might warrant writing a whole book just about this specific topic.
"... [the] idea that the more disrespect you show towards the rich and famous, the nearer you move towards achieving equality, but the effect is quite the opposite: rudeness highlights difference..."

Most certainly, I agree with this observation, however, I feel that the reasons why people are turning this way aren't highlighted enough. Personally, I think it's the helplessness people feel having to accept what huge corporations do and don't do which makes them lash out against others who have nothing to with reason why they feel outnumbered or helpless.

All in all, a great book if read with an open mind. Truss invites readers to think.

5 stars, Gisela Hausmann

I received a copy of this book for free, and I found that it had a very promising start. However, as the chapters progressed I found little difference between the "six good reasons", and missed much in the way of humour. To be fair, it is possible that there are cultural differences between England and North America which may account for my inability to appreciate this book. Fortunately, it was a quick read. However, there are definitely better ways to spend one's reading time!

This book makes me thing on my daily behaviors and how to be a better person.
I can't agree on the part about people being so ironic when a bad thing happens, because I am portuguese, and we curse a lot. Cursing makes us release all the anger, and we don't mean to offend anyone.
I am very interested in reading the "Watching the English" by Kate Fox just to see the cultural differences.

Some of this is maybe a little outdated and a little British-centric, but there were still a lot of valid points made about the lack of civility and manners in the world. One interesting point is that people have felt this way for a very long time. It's not exactly a new phenomenon. And what's deemed acceptable shifts with time, too, but mostly other people can be insufferable, but we've got no choice but to co-exist with them.

Wow, I can't remember being this disappointed with a book...well, I was going to say "in a long time," but I might more accurately say "ever." In terms of disparity between my expectations and the reality, this is the most disappointing book I've ever read. I give it one star, and a glance over my reviews will demonstrate that I almost never do that.

I read, and loved, Truss's previous work, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. It was funny, erudite, and most importantly, it was self-righteous and self-important in exactly the right places and right amounts. That it dealt with a topic dear to my heart (the gradual erosion of literacy through shoddy grammar and punctuation) only made it more enjoyable for me.

So when I sat down to read Talk to the Hand, I expected something similar: a humorous yet fiery diatribe, rich with research and examples, only in this case railing against the decline of personal manners rather than grammar. What I got was a crotchety, unfunny whine-fest that continually tried to extrapolate bad manners into low overall moral character. She takes the flamethrower to entire armies of strawmen in this book, as I've simply never met anyone as rude as some of her examples. Her stories about eight-year old kids cussing out their parents in public sound exactly like the "what is our country coming to" chain e-mails I used to get forwarded to me by my fifty-something aunts and cousins years ago, and they ring horribly false. In addition, she lets some rather ugly biases slip with blithe references to "shaven-headed bling bling gangstas" and such.

Worst of all, this wasn't even a fun read. Unlike her last book, which was so stuffed with content that the pages flew by, this one dragged and was amazingly repetitive. Honestly, I was a little worried when I found myself fighting the temptation to skim the end of the introduction, thinking "OK, I get it, I get it, I get it..." This book felt like a 20-page magazine article stretched into a 200-page book. And Truss's decision to sanitize the word fuck into Eff (e.g. Eff this, Eff you, you Effing such-and-such) was jarring, off-putting, and made large stretches of the book just plain annoying to slog through. All in all, this was a grumpy, miserable, spittle-flecked little book, and I can't discourage you strongly enough from picking it up. Stick to the book with the pandas on the cover.

I misunderstood the concept of this book. I thought it would be, like Eats, Shoots and Leaves, it would be more language or grammar based. Some interesting stuff here, though.

Here's my Lightning Round of Take-a-Ways:

The trouble with etiquette books is that there is no “bad manners” only “your manners” really. If you do something like write thank you notes, well then, that’s just good manners. If not, they’re old fashioned.

The effort is what’s important. The person who can’t read their own phone message for another person isn’t putting the effort in to communicate clearly.

She also hates computerized helplines because it puts the effort on you, not the company, to reach the right person. I’m not sure I agree with this one.

“Authority is largely perceived as a kind of personal insult which must be challenged.” (33)

“While you’re down there…” is a slogan referring to teenage oral sex on The Tube to pick up the litter, too. (36)

People have been complaining about manners since the 15th century. (51)

Computer menus make us do all the work. I disagree, here, too. The problem isn’t the work it’s the naming conventions being a personal word choice. (84)

Chapter 2 is all about how having too many choices is bad. I hear this quite often actually. The phrase “analysis paralysis” comes from this.

The Bubble chapter is railing against using cellphones for private conversations in public spaces.

The Effort chapter says that confrontations, even civil ones, are so rude, at least to the British. I wonder if my reading so much Brit Lit somehow subconsciously sunk this lesson into my poor little brain. It’s probably more due to my low self-esteem but still, interesting thought.

Is the EFF OFF! Reflex a symptom of the desire to never be wrong?

“Abuse is the weapon of the weak.” (151)

Politically correct language isn’t about respect it’s about fear of prosecution. I agree it can get to that point but it’s not black and white, sometimes it is about respect. Others, not so much. (164)

“Rules exist, it seems, but there are no rules about rules. This, in a nutshell, is the insanity of the modern condition.” (169)

“I aspire to be a zero-impact member of society.” Me too! (181)

I blame myself. Or as author Lynne Truss would have it, I blame my Effing self. I should have been wise to the kind of book Talk to the Hand: #?*! The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door would prove to be: the lament of the agéd against the young. But somehow I never even saw it coming.

Talk to the Hand rapidly degenerates into a diatribe against Generations X, Y and the Millenials.

Point out bad manners to anyone younger than thirty-five, and you risk a lash-back reflex response of shocking disproportion. “Excuse me, I think your child dropped with sweet wrapper.” “Why don’t you Eff Off, you fat cow,” comes the automatic reply. A man on a London bus recently told off a gang of boys, and was set on fire. Another was stabbed to death when he objected to someone throwing food at his girlfriend. How many of us dare to cry, “Get off that skateboard, you hooligan!” in such a moral climate?

The problem here is that, as Judith Martin (a.k.a. “Miss Manners”) points out in her own etiquette guides, calling people out on their rude behavior is, in itself, rude. (There are other, more satisfactory and effective ways to protect one’s self from bad behavior.) But Truss never once acknowledges that ironic conundrum.

In fairness, Truss can see her own crotchetiness — on rare occasion.

If one takes the view that modern-day manners are superior to the cheerful spit-and-stamp of olden times, a paradox begins to emerge: while standards have been set ever higher, people have become all the more concerned that standards are actually dropping. Basically, people have been complaining about the state of manners since at least the fifteenth century.

Actually, Truss’ observation is incorrect. When I was still in high school, my younger brother brought to my attention a lament about how the young were feckless, rude and disrespectful of their elders and betters. The writer bemoaning this new generation lived in Ancient Egypt.

People diagnosed with OCD know in their heads that they shouldn’t be washing their hands at every turn, but they can’t make themselves stop. But, as with someone with OCD, although Truss seems to know in her heart that every generation of senior citizens vilify the young, she can’t manage to make herself stop. If anything, she revs up the invective even more with each ensuing chapter.

In the chapter, “The First Good Reason: Was That so Hard to Say?,” Truss asks, “Should we get out more? Or is going out the problem, and we should actually stay in?” The answer is neither. Truss should instead read Judith Martin’s Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium. Then she can be free to get out more — but not till then.

Naturally, I would never recommend Martin’s Star-Spangled Manners: In Which Miss Manners Defends American Etiquette to Miss Truss. After all, wouldn’t implying that American manners outclassed Truss’ own British ones be rude?

So apparently, good manners started to be seriously written about and then formalized into codes of conduct in western Europe during the medieval period. A lot of these writings were, to begin with, basically about when and where not to spit. That was a fun fact. The rest of the book otherwise felt like an extended rant at lunar new year dinner by your least favorite uncle that's gone on for just a bit too long.

You know, it's very easy to read Lynne Truss--she writes smooth and amusing prose, and you're halfway through the book before you realize that it isn't going ANYWHERE.

If this woman hadn't already written a bestseller that actually gives reasonable advice I don't *really* think any editor would have considered publishing this grouchy and extended rant about nothing. Half of it doesn't even have to do with politeness (her supposed topic), or lack thereof, but about the author's personal dislikes of the noise of apple chewing (or whatever). I totally agree with her on many occasions, but honestly, who wants to hear MY extended rants about personal space? Hers are just as tedious and fame doesn't really make them any more worth reading.

The shred of advice she gives--let's all try to be a little more polite--is well taken. But it didn't need over two hundred pages to say it and I can't imagine anyone's going to pay any attention.

yrs. sincerely,

grumpy woman who already knew where to put her apostrophes