Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

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Initially written for a Jewish friend, Life of the Beloved has become Henri Nouwen’s greatest legacy to Christians around the world. This sincere testimony of the power and invitation of Christ is indeed a great guide to a truly uplifting spiritual life in today’s world.

160 pages, Paperback

First published January 1,1992

About the author

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Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen (Nouen), (1932–1996) was a Dutch-born Catholic priest and writer who authored 40 books on the spiritual life.

Nouwen's books are widely read today by Protestants and Catholics alike. The Wounded Healer, In the Name of Jesus, Clowning in Rome, The Life of the Beloved, and The Way of the Heart are just a few of the more widely recognized titles. After nearly two decades of teaching at the Menninger Foundation Clinic in Topeka, Kansas, and at the University of Notre Dame, Yale University and Harvard University, he went to share his life with mentally handicapped people at the L'Arche community of Daybreak in Toronto, Canada. After a long period of declining energy, which he chronicled in his final book, Sabbatical Journey, he died in September 1996 from a sudden heart attack.

His spirituality was influenced by many, notably by his friendship with Jean Vanier. At the invitation of Vanier he visited L'Arche in France, the first of over 130 communities around the world where people with developmental disabilities live and share life together with those who care for them. In 1986 Nouwen accepted the position of pastor for a L'Arche community called "Daybreak" in Canada, near Toronto. Nouwen wrote about his relationship with Adam, a core member at L'Arche Daybreak with profound developmental disabilities, in a book titled Adam: God's Beloved. Father Nouwen was a good friend of the late Joseph Cardinal Bernardin.

The results of a Christian Century magazine survey conducted in 2003 indicate that Nouwen's work was a first choice of authors for Catholic and mainline Protestant clergy.

One of his most famous works is Inner Voice of Love, his diary from December 1987 to June 1988 during one of his most serious bouts with clinical depression.

There is a Father Henri J. M. Nouwen Catholic Elementary School in Richmond Hill, Ontario.


Community Reviews

Rating(4.1 / 5.0, 100 votes)
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100 reviews All reviews
April 17,2025
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“Every time you listen with great attentiveness to the voice that calls you the Beloved, you will discover within yourself a desire to hear that voice longer and more deeply. It is like discovering a well in the desert. Once you have touched wet ground, you want to dig deeper.”


In characteristic Nouwen fashion, there is a great deal of wisdom here. I found the epilogue especially interesting, in which he acknowledges that the book failed for its intended audience (secular people) and it seemed that only spiritual people could derive value from it. I wonder if that continues to be true today, some decades after this little volume was published.
April 17,2025
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This was a 4 until I got to the chapter “Given” after which it became a 5.

Then I read the last chapter, “Life of the Beloved” which alone is a 10. Yes, I know the rating only goes to 5.

I don’t think things will be the same after this.
April 17,2025
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So much highlighting done in this book. These are the kind of passages I need painted on the walls of my house. Henri is honest and loving in his musings about how God thinks of us. This is an incredibly fulfilling and uplifting read
April 17,2025
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n   When we keep claiming the light, we will find ourselves becoming more and more radiant. n

I was talking with a friend recently about the tumult of life, how it can frustrate and embitter. You can spiral into depression when you feel you have no control or power to affect your own life. It is critical to ground your life in something immutable or you will be jerked around by constant change. Henri Nouwen shares in this slim letter the root of his own resilience. In a world that shouts you are no good, you are ugly, you are worthless, you are despicable, you are nobody, where you even reject yourself, it can be hard to hear what Nouwen calls n  the most intimate truth of all human beings - that you are beloved by God.n

I thought this book might be too simplistic but the more I read it, the more it's simple truths resonated with me. This book is for you if you're looking for someone to give voice to the struggle of feeling unwanted, even if you don't necessarily believe in God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit (note this is not a book that directly preaches the Gospel so don't expect that). It is also for you if you need a reminder that you are very much wanted and how to help others feel wanted too. It may not be for you if you can't push past the almost too self aware writing style. If you pick this up and find it full of Christian terms that are not relatable, I'd say that's the opportunity for us to have a fascinating conversation.

To kick start the conversation, below are some of the ideas in this book I found valuable. SPOILER ALERT!

Being beloved is one thing, but becoming the beloved is another matter altogether. It means that everything we think, say or do is rooted in feeling securely loved. That sounds ridiculously impossible to do all the time. Nouwen says the key to this is being taken/chosen, blessed, broken, and given.

Nouwen points out that when one person is chosen, another person often feels rejected. However when God chooses to love you, Instead of excluding others, it includes others. Instead of rejecting others as less valuable, it accepts others in their own uniqueness. Instead of making us feel that we are better, more precious or valuable than others, our awareness of being chosen opens our eyes to the chosenness of others. Nouwen is convinced the first step to healing is not a step away from pain, but a step towards it. But our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others. The real question is not "What can we offer each other?" but "Who can we be for each other?"

Eternal life then is the full revelation of what we have lived all along. Joy and suffering are aspects of the same phenomenon of being beloved, in the same way that extreme cold burns (quoting French philosopher Jacques Maritain). That is the secret to staying joyful, at peace and grounded no matter what you encounter in life or death.
April 17,2025
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I enjoyed a lot of this. Initially being drawn by Nouwen’s description to be “chosen”, I took a lot of insight this book.

There are a few themes that are pretty straightforward for one who is engulfed in a life filled with Catholic resources.

On another note, I really admire people who are able to see the good in something not too good. I am not one of those people. In fact, I tend to do the opposite in a lot of ways. I have some idea of how I perceive something to ideally be and blemishes mess up that perception.

I say all of that because I generally think there are pretty good passages throughout this book. Unfortunately, throughout there are a few “sussy” things that kind of turn me off this at times.

To Nouwen’s defense, his job is pretty difficult here. His job is to write about the spiritual life to a secular culture. He is putting in a lot of work to try and interact with an upside-down culture without giving up core principles that contradict what the culture says. I personally read it and believe that it’s slightly too far in the direction of the culture.
April 17,2025
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There are a few books a person reads in their lifetime that changes their life. This is one of them. In a clear, straightforward delivery, Nouwen provides his view on how to live life well. The principles are nothing new (know that you are beloved by God, give yourself to others, bless those you come in contact with), but Nouwen’s personal openness effected me like none of his other books that I have read. Written as a letter to a younger, secular Jew, the friendship shared, the struggles gone through and the respect for each other, provides a beautiful example of Nouwen living out his faith to a world that does not always want to engage in that faith. Do yourself a favor and read this book.
April 17,2025
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A great spiritual read, very easy and quick!

The message of this book is simple: we are called to live the life as beloved children of God! I found myself highlighting several passages in this book that are great words of affirmation for me to remember. No matter what happens in life, I am Gods Beloved, and by saying yes to this identity, I can live life fully! Yay!
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