I read from this book often...and it gets me through the moment.

Great book on grief, however it does leave some to be desired in identifying upfront whose issues are being explored and whose aren't. While many identities go underrepresented, even the more "obvious" such as fathers read as more of an afterthought. Even the chapter specifically on fathers could somehow only gather a handful of interviewees vs the much more dynamic group of mothers. Really insightful read on grief, grieving, and mourning overall.

Unfortunately very relatable. Lots of words in here that could bring comfort if that's what you're looking for. Sending love to anyone who needs this book.

Of all the books I was given and lent about the loss of a baby, this one was the most helpful. It covered every aspect you could think of, including grandparents. It is a must read if you, or someone you know, has lost a baby! Many things in it would also help in the loss of anyone of any age.

Of all the books I've read on the subject of baby loss, this is the best. I lost my son at 5 months pregnant on November 5, 2012. I really struggled (and still do) with all the emotions that come with grief. No one I knew had lost a baby, so I really felt alone. I wondered if my feelings were normal or if I was going insane. This book was recommended to me by a woman in a non-profit organization who's sole purpose is to help grieving families.

Everything I read in this book was basically described what I was feeling. This book helped give me some closure. It doesn't take the pain of losing a child away, but it was a great help. There was even a section on subsequent pregnancies. I went back to this section when I became pregnant with my rainbow. Again this book helped me.

It’s coming up to what would have been my daughter’s 9th birthday and I’ve finally finished this book. The grief is complex and you never fully heal from it, but you become better at managing around it. You find your purpose for living. This book helped touch on the emotion when I was ready to feel it, but in honesty the agony has yet to lose its intensity.

I am disappointed reading the judgements of folks for the way others grieve or of the ways that those closest to us try to connect with us throughout this experience. I was gifted this book by a loved one and that act in itself was meaningful. Hopefully we can be kinder to ourselves and others. We don’t always get it right.

The death of your beloved child is single-handedly the most excruciating experience in this life.

My heart breaks for you if you find yourself here and I wish you strength in your healing. This book is a good place to start for support.

If you're someone whose lost a baby ( be it your own or one belonging to someone close to you) I'd highly recommend reading this book. It covers almost all aspects of a tragedy like this and how to deal with. Even better, it includes quotes and thoughts from other parents who have lost babies that helps remind you you're not alone in this and that you're not crazy for what you're thinking.

This book helped me in the most difficult time of my life.... Highly recommended!!!!

This is one of the books that brought solace during period of grief and mourning after my baby had died in 1993. There's nothing like recognition of what you've gone through/ are going through yourself...

this book was recommended to me by a few people. It is a good book - for someone who has lost a baby later in pregnancy or in infanthood.

I do not think this book was helpful to women suffering from a devastating, but early (< 12 wk), miscarriage. There wasn't a whole chapter on miscarriage, everything came back to actual babies. This isn't where we're at. I wish they had gone over more about miscarriages, instead of glazing over it.

What I did think was helpful: The chapter on uterine healing, resuming an intimate relationship with your spouse, the entire chapter for Fathers, and the sections on what to say to people.

I'm glad that I wasn't the audience that this book was intended for. But I wish it had been more helpful for me. Also, it's about 17 yrs old now - maybe too outdated of a read?

One of the dearest people to me in all the world had her newborn die over the summer. I wanted to read “Empty Cradle, Broken Heart” to get a better idea of the hell that she’s going through.

It is an insightful, easy-to-read book. Deborah Davis includes heartbreaking, poignant, honest quotes from many mothers (and a few fathers) whose babies have died. And it encompasses everything from miscarriage up to those babies who die months after birth, as well as singletons and multiples. Davis takes the reader through the grief process, starting from the baby’s birth until years later and includes seemingly every aspect of post-death grief and recovery.

I learned a lot — and the book affirmed many of my own emotions of grief over this horrifying situation.

Unfortunately, it does have some serious drawbacks. But most of those are not with what is said in the book (although the mention toward the end of “primitive cultures” is pretty offensive) but in what is absent.

For instance, the book is 98% focused on mothers. While it makes some attempt to be inclusive of fathers, almost everyone interviewed for the book was a mother. The chapter specific to grief and fathers in the context of patriarchy is critical and one of the most insightful in the book. Unfortunately, fathers will find little specific to their grief or their place in society in the rest of “Empty Cradle, Broken Heart.” And the word “mother(s)” appears many more times than “father(s)” or “parents.”

Relatedly, the book is completely cisheterosexist. It assumes that every couple is “opposite-sex” and that everyone having a baby is cisgender (not transgender). No matter how hard you look, you will not find anyone LGBTQ here. Completely absent are “same-sex” couples or those trans men who might get pregnant. “Mother” is synonymous with “birth mother,” leaving non-birth mothers in relationships between lesbian and bisexual women invisible; the other parent is always assumed to be a father. Also left out are gay and bisexual men who seek to have children through surrogacy but lose the baby carried by their surrogate. (For that matter, the surrogate’s experience is also absent.)

The book also leaves out many others, like those in non-monogamous relationships. Also ignored are any specificities related to race, class, immigration status, language, physical ability, age, etc. For instance, how does someone whose baby has died but does not speak English access a local support group that is held in English? What about those cultures in the US that are not prone to take advantage of counseling? Where do they find their support networks? How about disabled parents, who may go to even greater lengths to get pregnant and who may not be able to get pregnant again? (Also absent in the physical recovery chapter is any discussion of those who had to have a hysterectomy during their labor process.) Where do autistic parents go to find support if being in a room full of other people is not a comfortable place for them? How about teen mothers, who may not have meant to become pregnant and/or who may not have family support? What happens when their babies die?

The problem with many works that attempt to be universal is that they end up being generic, which, in the US, means white, cisgender, straight, native born, English speaking, monogamous, neurotypical, middle class, etc. Sadly but predictably, Davis’s book falls into this same trap.

With all of that being said, however, Davis’s book is *absolutely* worth reading. And i don't regret an instant that i spent with it. Until someone expands on her work and improves upon its weaknesses, i wouldn’t hesitate to recommend “Empty Cradle, Broken Heart” either to grieving parents or to their loved ones — although some caveats would definitely be included in that recommendation!

I wish I didn't need this book, but it helped.