I wondered if Casino Royale was some sort of Batman Year One kind of thing and James would begin to progress as an agent with each book.
No. No, he has not.
It's as though Mr. Bean were given a license to kill and set loose on the world.
Once again, Bond is caught completely unawares over and over again. He not only fails to notice fairly obvious traps, but in a spectacularly stupid move he also blatantly ignores the bad feeling his clairvoyant love interest has in being by herself in a hotel room.
Insisting she will be fine when he leaves her alone.
Just lock the door, babe.
He then has the gall to be shocked when she immediately gets kidnapped by the villain.
He's also off sniffing his farts as his friend (the American agent Felix Leiter) gets parts of himself literally EATEN OFF BY A SHARK.
And survives! Because he is a badass, and I'll admit that was kind of a cool twist.
Though, unlike in the 1st book, Bond plays an active role in taking out the bad guys by planting some underwater bombs.
Oh, he still gets captured. And it's still pure luck that he and Solitare survive, but at least this time around he can say he took out some of the agents.
Agents of arguably the dumbest acronym to say out loud.
SMASH, you say?
No, SMERSH.
Now, if you've read this one you'll know what I'm talking about when I say it's filled to the brim with hyper-cringy backhanded compliments towards "the black folk". And of course, he wouldn't be Bond if he didn't think women were like toilet paper - soft, necessary, and ultimately flushable. It's an awkward ride.
And believe me, you will feel every moment of it.
The absolute best part of the book is when they end up in the Tampa/St Pete area surrounded by a plethora of retirees. Felix and James roll their eyes at the decrepit oldsters and decide death is better than retiring to Florida to play shuffleboard.
But I think they'll both change their minds someday.
Because on top of fantastic weather, Florida has the best pony rides!
While it may not sound like it, I'm actually quite enjoying these books. Yes, it's interesting to read the origins of the greatest secret agent in pop culture, but there's also the added bonus that these books are an incredible amount of fun in a so-bad-its-good sort of way.
You're a trainwreck, James. And I can't look away.