I don't know. I read it to understand my own grieving. I suppose the introduction of the five stages of grief is pretty monumental and I have to give it credit for that. It's written very much as a psychologist's thesis, so it isn't always compelling. If clinical, though, it's still anything but insensitive. The writing is without flourish but the message, the research, the observations are all enlightening. I never understood where anger fit into my current and past experiences of grief, but its expression as envy made a lot of sense. The book is more about the person dying than the person losing someone. I haven't had many experiences where I feared for my life. But I have to respect that Kubler-Ross was so concerned with the care of those who don't have long to live. Her most interesting points beyond the five stages come in the beginning when she criticizes the mechanical prolonging of life when it is performed at the expense of the patient's comfort. Also, her questions of why we can't incorporate death into our daily lives are pretty challenging and very, very wise. We would be so much better off seeing death if we didn't let our fear of it dehumanize the dying.

About the emotional reaction/dynamic when people is facing death caused by chronic illnesses. The 5 emotional stages founded by Kubler-Ross became my theoritical background for my final research project. This is really an amazing theory and very unique too!! Must read to know how to treat people who is facing death, very helpful. With a good treatment and if patients can develope moderate hope, there can be a miracle.. my 6 research subjects survived the cancer!

"It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive."

Main Highlight of this book
This book delves into the five stages of grief that individuals often go through when facing their own mortality or the loss of a loved one. Kübler-Ross states, "The five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost." This is the second time I have read this book, for some reason I could relate to this book even more, after the loss of my grandparents few months back.

I find a lot of quotes in this book to be very inspirational, and beautifully written, here is another one:

"When we have done all the work we were sent to Earth to do, we are allowed to shed our body, which imprisons our soul like a cocoon encloses the future butterfly."

Throughout the book, the author offers valuable insights and guidance for individuals, families, and healthcare professionals to navigate the complexities of death. She reminds us, "It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth—and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up—that we will begin to live each day to the fullest."It seems Ross already had introspected about life and death, and she has pour out her understanding through this poignant yet inspiring book.

"On Death and Dying" is a poignant reminder that death is an integral part of life's journey. By embracing our mortality and embracing the emotions that come with it, we can find strength, growth, and a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of life. As Kübler-Ross eloquently states, "Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from."

A thought-provoking read!

Recommended.

Despite that Kübler-Ross obviously set a framework for the Five stages with this book, her description of them lacks depth and is quite subjective. There is humanism in there but less about human experiences and more about preaching religion. Fortunately, since the past 50 years better books have been written on subjects of death and mourning.

Книга n  “О смерти и умирании”n (On Death and Dying) о процессе умирания, о том, как человек постепенно отрешается от жизни.

Вот как автор Элизабет Кюблер-Росс определяет основной смысл книги:

n  Эта книга послужит одной-единственной цели - обострить чуткость членов семьи к смертельно больному, а больничного персонала - к неявным, невысказанным желаниям умирающихn

Я читал книгу как практический конспект, который может понадобиться практически каждому человеку.

Книга “О смерти и умирании” не из легких, но написана простым языком (без медицинских терминов).

В книге много описаний болезней и диалогов. После трети книги я начал пропускать основную часть диалогов.

Элизабет Кюблер-Росс задает читателю много вопросов - непростых вопросов:

n  Что, наконец, представляет собой сама медицина - гуманное почетное занятие или современную, но обезличенную науку, которая ставит перед собой задачу продления жизни, а не избавления человека от мучений?n

Иногда автор рассматривает банальные ситуации под неожиданным ракурсом:

n  [Врачи] просто не понимают, что такое боль. Если человек никогда ее не испытывал...n

Еще о современной медицине:

n  Что, наконец, представляет собой сама медицина - гуманное почетное занятие или современную, но обезличенную науку, которая ставит перед собой задачу продления жизни, а не избавления человека от мучений?n

О смерти:

n  Сегодня процесс смерти стал намного ужаснее, он связан с одиночеством, механичностью и бесчеловечностью. Временами мы даже не можем точно определить, когда именно наступил момент смерти.n

Книга была написана в n  1969 годуn. Автор поразительно точно (n  !!!n) предсказала направление:

n  Каким станет будущее? По всей видимости, в обществе возрастет количество людей, чья жизнь будет поддерживаться искусственными заменителями важнейших органов и компьютерами, время от времени проверяющими, не нужно ли заменить электронными устройствами другие физиологические функции. Увеличится число центров, где будут накапливаться необходимые технические данные; когда больной испустит последний вздох, мигающая лампочка покажет, что оборудование следует отключить.n

А вот ее описание современной n  крионикиn:

n  
Получат распространение и другие центры, где умерших будут быстро замораживать и размещать в специальных сооружениях в ожидании того дня, когда наука и технологии станут достаточно развитыми, чтобы разморозить тела и вернуть их к жизни в обществе. Что касается общества, то ��но к тому времени может оказаться настолько перенаселенным, что только особые комиссии будут решать, сколько людей можно разморозить. В наши дни подобные комиссии определяют, кто из больных получит дефицитный орган для пересадки, а кто будет обречен на смерть.n

В книге описана модель изменений. Почитать подробнее о классической модели Kubler-Ross можно здесь. Почитать книгу “О смерти и умирании” онлайн можно здесь.

Elisabeth's life's work was as an renown psychiatrist in palliative settings, this book aims to provide insights to various professionals, carers and families from the perspective of the dying. It is cited as an inter-disciplinary work, though by page 12 it's summary of the Christian theology leaves us with no hope for this life or the next. It is a summary of her perspective of the Christian faith in her lifetime which is so far removed from the experience of the ordinary Christian believer. I would have hoped for consultation with a Christian hospital Chaplain to ask for a summary of Christian beliefs, rather than interpolating a secular view that it is to merely to 'bear with suffering in the hope [reward] of heaven'. In this day of inter-faith chaplaincies in hospitals, there should also be mention of spirituality care in general and the search for meaning that is so necessary and must be validated as one approaches death. I'd love to see a rewrite where research is conducted into spiritual care in palliative settings, before giving a broad brush stroke that sweeps its significance away by page 12. Still, I do put this aside and consider the usefulness of the book from her perspective, as it has impacted many medical staff in their training over the years, I hope this influence leaves one with an open mind to consider the spiritual needs of the patient as well as their need for physical/emotional care.

Don't get me wrong with my only giving three stars. There is valuable information in it, but the read was not enjoyable. You may wonder why I would expect a book on death and dying to be enjoyable and you would be right. But here is why. The book is rather old and things have changed in hospitals and in medicine since that time. I'm sure there still is the grief for patients in finding out, or some times not finding out, about a terminal illness and dealing with their end days - actually they and their families dealing with the end days. Another reason it was not enjoyable for me was the question and answer format with the patients and some family members as well as some of the conclusions of the author. I formulated possible other conclusions for some of the patient's feelings which were not entertained by the author. I guess you could say, I don't care for the author's dogmatism, that is, she seemed to think her conclusions were the correct conclusions.

I read this book as a teenager in my first year of college. My dad had suffered a number of medical problems and it had been all he could do to share a 1 hour ride with my brother and me from Mentor to Kent, Ohio, to drop me off at my dormitory for my first quarter of college. He was a relatively young at 54 and I recall him struggling to carry a light box from my brother's van to my room. then he he rested and watched while we did the rest of the move-in. He continued to deteriorate that year and I had to make several emergency trips to hospitals for possible final visits. In a way, that was fortunate as it led to my understanding how completely inadequate I felt to help him. I sought help for dealing with the situation from this book. Reading it book let me realize what Dad needed and what I needed. I was able to make the little time we had from that point matter a lot, I think for both of us. I did not have regrets for anything unsaid, or an apology not made, or acceptance not granted, love and gratitude not expressed. I gather that the gloss is off much of what Kubler Ross shared now, but she was a pioneer and she had the common sense to understand that the end of life is an opportunity to share our humanity like no other time. I am grateful that she did the work to write this book and that I found it in time to help me and my dad.

Qué gracia tiene para escribir esta mujer. Me encanta eso de que, cuando explica los conceptos, no los hace citándolos solos y desconectados del espacio... usa sus anécdotas, sus experiencias, sus historias de vida y lo que ha visto en ellas. Eso es lo que a uno realmente le interesa, la parte humana, o la aplicación de estos conceptos a la parte humana. Es absolutamente fascinante aunque también muy doloroso. Nadie quiere recordar que un día morirá, aunque una vez que uno lo acepta, uno dice "bueno, no es para tanto" y empieza a vivir realmente. O esa es la idea, jaja. Que todos los otros también mueran, deja de ser un "mal de muchos, consuelo de tontos", para afianzarse en una realidad. Tenemos un tiempo limitado, y más vale aprovecharlo. Todos vamos a morir igual, y entonces NO ES TAN GRAVE.

¡A mí este libro me encanta! Creo que todos deberían leerlo. No solo es increíblemente sabio, y además innovador en su época... y tan lleno de humildad y de inspiración. Además, está bien escrito e incluso tiene sus partes divertidas, que tratan del aspecto tragicómico de la vida. La autora tiene el gran mérito de quitarle la etiqueta de tabú a un tema que es tan importante y además tan inevitable no solo en el ser humano, sino que en todos los seres viviente. No sé si se le pueda agradecer lo suficiente.

Yo tengo la suerte de no haber vivido aún la muerte de personas demasiado cercanas, y también de no tenerla encima mío todavía (que yo sepa), pero creo que sus conceptos se aplican para muchas más cosas que esta mera muerte biológica... hay duelos por tantas cosas distintas, porque, como dicen los poetas la vida es una seguidilla de pequeñas muertes, y así uno se la pasa bienveniendo y despidiendo, abrazando y dejando ir. No es fácil vivir, pero es más fácil cuando uno se acuerda de que... lo único que realmente sabemos del universo es que "esto también pasará" (this shall pass too) y que... blablablá, creo que se entiende la idea. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ayuda a que seamos más buenos y compasivos con nosotros mismos. Y con el resto.

Cinco estrellas gordas y radiantes a uno de los mejores libros que haya leído JAMÁS.

PD: Lo pondría entre mis fav, pero... uno igual no quiere tener nada que ver con la muerte, jejeje. Pese a todo.

3,5 Zacznę od kwestii, które minusowały dla mnie tę książkę - po pierwsze role płciowe i to jak mocno wpływały one na to, co było przedmiotem rozmów z umierającymi pacjentami. Oczywiście wiem, że książka napisana została pod koniec lat 60., ale i tak w tej kwestii mocno się zestarzała i osobiście ja mocno nie zgadzam się z tym, jak rozmówcy podchodzili do problemów przedstawianych przez pacjentów w tym względzie. Druga problematyczna kwestia to religia i traktowanie potrzeb duchowych jako normy, nie mówiąc już o tym, że religijność przedstawiona w książce nie była zbyt inkluzywna (poza jednym Żydem, który pomógł Katoliczce lepiej pokochać Boga). Ale mimo to - potrzebowałam tej książki kilka lat temu, ale i tak cieszę się, że przeczytałam ją teraz. Dla mnie to właśnie jest tabu związanym ze śmiercią - rozmowa z umierającą osobą. To coś, co ma dla mnie osobiste znaczenie, a czytanie rozmów z umierającymi pacjentami i przyglądanie się analizie ich potrzeb kazały mi wrócić pamięcią do tego, co sama kiedyś przeżywałam. To empatyzujące podejście Ross, zwrócenie uwagi na pewne mechanizmy i liczne trudne historie podobne do tego, co sama przeżywałam, były dla mnie niezwykle wartościową częścią tej książki.

Who better to explain The Kübler-Ross model than Dr. Kübler-Ross herself.

The creator of the 5 stages of grief uses her theory to explain how patients approach death. Even as a student, I found the first two thirds of the book extremely emotional and admit I cried my eyes out when reading so many terminal ill patients mistreated by the hospital staff.

-Doctors refusing to discuss with patients about the gravity of their illness
-Doctors who told the news with zero tact
-Families resentful by their loved ones NOT dying
-Families NOT letting them die
-Patients who had no one to hold their hand

The book is filled with heart-wrenching stories of patients reaching the stage of acceptance (if they do) and how their loved ones contribute through it all.

The only reason I gave this 4 stars was due to the length of some conversation transcripts, and also because I would have learned more by having statistics on the benefits of telling vs not telling the patient the truth.