A classic, apparently, for anyone dealing with loss. Particularly interesting to those dealing with older loved ones with terminal illness. Educational...a little emotionally detached though.

This book came at a time in my life when I had the real opportunity to talk with the sick and the dying in my posting in a pain and palliative care unit.

I was uncertain how to approach these patients and had no idea what to say. A kind friend lent me the book and I'm truly grateful.

The author speaks carefully and eloquently of the importance of listening to the patients and just giving them your time and not hurrying past them.

It also brought into focus my own mortality. I think of death in less frightening terms now and I think it has helped me become a better clinician more than some of the textbooks I've read.

I'm forever changed and eternally grateful. Do read this book - because you're a human being and not because you're a doctor or a patient but because it is important to not fear death or the dying.

Few weeks back radiolab did an episode about this book. Since then I have been trying to get my hands on this book. The book teaches great things to a dying person, their close friends and family and the doctors. Themes explored are around Acceptance, open communication, respect for individuals and at last- giving someone the choice. It is a very mature book, and has quite a few similarities to Being Mortal by Atul Gawande.

amazing perspective, sounds like it would be dark/ a bummer to read but not at all. Highly reccomend <3

This was massively underwhelming for me. Fairly religious. There is some solid info but this is pretty outdated and I’ve read much better books on loss. 2.8 stars

One of those comfortable books,that I re-read as my partner of 39 years lay dying from bone cancer in the magnificent Princess Margaret Cancer Palliative care unit,in Toronto, were he was treated with great love, care and compassion, in spite of very little of what we like to call "Quality of life" he was cared with much love. I was able to spend 24 hours a day with him, a bed was provided for overnight stays, Robert passed away while I was with him. much of the care given there, originated with this great book.
Sorry if I digress, but it has been a rough ride these past few weeks, Robert is at peace and pain-free. hence my re-reading of Kubler-Ross's book, it provides comfort, information and understanding about a subject we hear far to little about, this book should be taught in junior schools, let's get real, everyone of us will die one of these days, it deals with the patient and common sense ideas for care-givers, I have recently borrowed some books on bereavement and grief,that simply do not have the information, their content tends to be scientific "blather" I still give Dr. Kubler-Ross a #10 for her book, which is easy to read, its contents easy to understand,based on her personal "hands on" research. whether you agree with it or not.
I highly recommend this book!

This book and the research behind it clearly were revolutionary and in some ways have not yet had sufficient impact on the practice of medicine. The topic is extremely important, and many concepts put forward here have become heuristics of medical education about how to talk to dying patients (e.g., use simple, straight forward language including the word death; sit down; find a quiet spot to tell people bad news; make sure all the important people are present).

So, why did I say it was ok rather than great despite its obvious importance? First, perhaps it was overhyped and I had inappropriate expectations. Second, since I knew most of it, it had less impact for me. Third, I was horribly turned off by the historical frame for the work she provides in the first 20 pages. It is ridiculous to purport, and especially without significant citations from people who experienced it, that death during the Middle Ages was a more idyllic, peaceful experience with the potential to be home and surrounded be loving family than death in the 20th century was. Those in the Middle Ages died in wars, at the hands of masters, of infectious disease, through torture or childbirth, in unexpected, horrible, and often painful ways. If it wasn't plague, it was gangrene, etc.

Fourth, the stages of dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) with hope scattered in, seem bald, inflexible, and to hinge a lot on one's attributing many subconscious urges to people. Sometimes, we're just more straight-forward. And, what about grief? People should grieve things that are lost. Forcing people to be in certain heuristic classes when they should just be able to be where they are emotionally seems nearly as bad as not letting them be where they are emotionally.

Someone else's review reminded me of this one. I read it as part of my research for a role in the play Shadowbox. Sooo interesting... not to mention highly accessible and useful for psyche babble. Kubler-Ross contends that every person adjusting to the idea of death goes through five stages (though they may bounce back and forth, skip ahead, etc., everyone hits all five at some point). They are: Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.

I read this book probably over 10 years ago, and I still think of it. The most interesting part of all? From my observation over those years, I believe that we all go through these five stages in adjusting to ANYTHING that sucks, not just death (which is obviously the most extreme example of suckiness).

Now I feel all morbid. Gotta go watch cartoons with my kids and eat ice cream...

"It might be helpful if more people would talk about death and dying as an intrinsic part of life just as they do not hesitate to mention when someone is expecting a new baby." This profound statement is just one of many that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross employs in order to convey what the dying can teach medical professionals, society, and their own families. Originally published in 1969, Kübler-Ross was undoubtedly ahead of her time. The five stages of death that Kübler-Ross patiently guides the reader through, have become one of the most important psychological studies of the late 20th century.

"On Death and Dying" begins by questioning our society's approach to the dying and perception of death. Kübler-Ross argues that with the constant evolution of the medical field, death has become an object of fear. She advises that the only productive and realistic way to view death is to come to terms with our own mortality. Kübler-Ross continues to delve into her five stages of death: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She provides excerpts of interviews that she conducted with patients and family to provide a more personal connection to the reader. Each interview is followed by Kübler-Ross' own summarization of the interviewee and what factors could have influenced their positive or negative experience during such a difficult time. In addition to providing insight in to the thoughts and emotional concerns of the dying, "On Death and Dying" addresses the fundamental problems of the health care system in the late 1960s. Kübler-Ross sheds light on these issues through dialogue in the interviews. For example, It becomes clear that patient care and bedside manner is lacking in many facilities. These points reiterate the dire need for the family and medical staff to remain aware of the patient's changing needs in each stage of their imminent death.

The book opens with poem that reads like a prayer in which the speaker asks for patience, courage, and conviction to confront pain rather than deliverance to evade it. Consciously or subconsciously, we keep this poem with us as we make our way through this book. We read the revelations of the dying—their coping mechanisms, their regrets, their worries—paired with KR’s astute conclusions and analyses about their behavior. We see patients’ anger projected onto hospital staff, family, and God. We see the palpable fear of obsoleteness in the dying. We see meaninglessness in a biological loss of agency. As readers, we are expected to be witnesses to it all. And if we make it to the end, then we are, but only with the help of KR’s endless compassion, grace, and intelligence that guides us along.
tThis book was refreshing to read. It pulled me out of an arrogant loneliness in which I was convinced I was intellectually isolated. KR was endlessly skeptical in her patients’ stories in the most kind and comforting ways. She found explanations for irrational and intolerable behavior that were compelling, if not the pure truth. Reading this book was a reminder of the power of compassion and thoughtful questions, a reminder that anyone can be understood and therefore cared for if only we gave them the right balance between grace and curiosity.
tKR delineates the “stages” of dying, making it clear that it is difficult, that it is not linear, that there will be pain, fear, hopelessness, and desperation. But it is with the inclusion of the opening poem that she signals to the reader: if you do not have the strength to get through this book, we will cultivate it here, together. And we will get to the end.
tThrough this companionship between myself, the author, the hospital staff, and the dying, I found a sense of peace in accepting the eventual death of older loved ones. Though we will all witness the end of somebody, and though it may be painful and scary for both us and the dying, KR makes it abundantly clear that we can have the patience, courage, and conviction to witness the humanity of it all in order to bare the truth of this last, great silence.

- - čteno z povinnosti do školy - -

(Tohle je od vyučujícího tak trochu podpásovka. Tohle rozhodně není nic pro slabou dušičku, jako jsem já.)

Text se čte velmi dobře, není složitý a svým způsobem i „odsejpá“. Ze všech tří knih (Laudato Si, Fratelli Tutti a toto) se tohle čte rozhodně nejlépe. Netřeba číst něco víckrát nebo se k nějakým odstavcům vracet. Za to po obsahové stránce je tohle hodně silné a složité čtení.

Jedná o téma, které by nemělo být ve společnosti tabu, takže by dávalo smysl, aby si tuto publikaci přečetlo co nejvíce lidí, ale… Tahle kniha je zároveň šílené mučení. Není kapitola, u které bych nebrečela. Rozhodně to není nic pro slabé povahy nebo pro lidi, kteří v blízké době přišli o někoho ve svém okolí. (Minimálně těmto lidem doporučuji si čtení „dávkovat“, „rozkouskovat“ a ne to „sfouknout“ celé najednou.)

Autorka v knize popisuje, jak vznikl její seminář, kde dělá rozhovory s lidmi, kteří očekávali smrt, sdílí jejich příběhy, a jak tuto skutečnost přijali nebo nepřijali, jak na tento nový druh semináře reagovali lidé zaměstnaní ve zdejší nemocnici a jak lidé zvenčí.

Popisuje zde různá stádia, kterými umírající člověk prochází (i když to v knize není řečeno, řeklo bych, že se tyto fáze dají převést i na rodinu umírající, těžce nemocného), jak a proč se tak chovají. Například proč je starý člověk, který je závislý na pomoci ostatních, tak agresivní a plný zloby? Někdy jej může sžírat pocit vinny, že něčeho nedosáhl, že nedokázal zajistit svoji rodinu, nebo se jí málo věnoval a teď už je pozdě. Elizabeth uvádí, že takovým lidem lze nejlépe pomoci tak, že jim dáme najevo, že je chceme vyslechnout. Aby nám sdělili své strasti, strachy, úspěchy či neúspěchy.

Stádia, která autorka popisuje, jsou popírání a izolace, zlost, smlouvání, deprese, akceptace. V každé kapitole najdeme ukázkové rozhovory, ve kterých jsou tyto fáze „vidět“. Dále je jedna kapitola věnována naději. Že je důležité, aby i pacient v terminálním stádiu nemoci, měl nějakou naději a klidněji se mu umíralo.

Kniha se mi celkově líbila a ze všech tří děl mi toho rozhodně nejvíce dala. (Jsem ráda, že jsem si ji nechala na konec, i když jsem vůbec netušila, co od ní mám očekávat.) Měla bych ale jednu výtku. Vadilo mi, když během rozhovorů pokládala doktorka pacientům více otázek najednou. Pacient poté většinou odpověděl jen na jednu část otázky a doktorka se poté musela ptát znovu, aby získala odpovědi. Efektivnější by bylo pokládala jen jednu otázku. Je to samozřejmě už pozdě, ale jen takový osobní postřeh.

Rozhodně bych ale byla pro, aby si tuhle knihu (nebo knihu s podobnou náplní a cílem) přečetli všichni lidé pracující ve zdravotnictví nebo se ve své profesi dostanou do kontaktu s umírajícími, vážně nemocnými nebo i jenom starými lidmi. Mohla bych ji doporučit i lidem, kterým někdo blízký zemřel. Můžou se s jeho smrtí lépe vyrovnat.

i'll point you towards the 8/14/07 review by "emmey".

wanted to read this before i started med school so i'd feel better prepared to interact with people at death's door.

i got very frustrated when EKR would present me with a dialogue or a situation and then draw what seemed to me to be an incredibly illogical conclusion (see the early pages of the chapter on anger for the story of Mr. X. - so poorly interpreted!).

i had to keep reminding myself that the book was outdated, that more work has been done in the areas of "dealing with death" and "making doctors more compassionate". so by ignoring EKR's interjections of wisdom, i was able to enjoy the lengthy dialogues btwn doctors/chaplains/EKR and these dying patients for their own merit.

reminded me of a great and better book i read while at gtown, and which i will now attempt to link to this review...

RCM

The Experience of Alzheimer's Disease