Currently re-reading. First read in the 70s. The changes in social awareness since then are what I am noticing most as I am reading.

I read this book many years ago. It was straightforward and treated this sensitive topic in a manner which was considered novel. I feel that it is a sensible approach to the grieving process.

Since in our unconscious mind we are all immortal, it is almost inconceivable for us to acknowledge that we too have to face death.

Personally, the closest I’ve come to dying was being comatose at 4 1/2 in Peru for 3 weeks. Of course, after the fall, comes the best part!

This has to be the most random book I read, but for whatever reason, it came up in the reading list. I actually found it fascinating and can understand why it's recommended to health care professionals. It not only gives you a sense for how vastly different one can react to extremely negative scenarios, but also gives you a sense for how your reactions can make a marked impact on a person during these times.

Gostei bastante do tema e do livro. As entrevistas reais transcritas são muito humanas e por vezes tocantes.

A autora fez um grande trabalho. Percebi que as entrevistas foram feitas na década de 60. Fiquei curioso para saber como seriam se fossem feitas agora, quase 60 anos depois.

Raamat, mis võiks igas kodus olemas olla. Ja seda mitte alles siis, kui juba hädasti vaja läheb, pigem natuke varem. Mulle sobis selle aeglane lugemine, samas on tekst piisavalt ladus, et võib ka ühe-kahe õhtuga neelata.

Šveitsi päritolu valdavalt Ameerikas elanud psühhiaater, kelle nime sa ehk kuulnud küll ei ole, aga kindlasti oled kuulnud tema välja töötatud viiest leinaetapist (eitamine, viha, kauplemine, depressioon ja leppimine). Need faasid kolistavad läbi nii raskelt haiged ise kui ka nende lähedased, lisaks ei pruugigi need kehtida ainult lähedase haiguse/surma puhul, vaid ka töökoha kaotuse, lahutuse, vms keerulise kaotuse korral.

Autor kirjeldab raamatus - mis muide on ilmunud originaalis vist koguni 1969.a, ent teemad on nii ajatud, et harva pidin endale meelde tuletama, et aeg oli teine - kõiki neid etappe, lisades ohtralt näiteid reaalsete patsientide lugudest, lisaks on raamatus ära toodud ka mitmed täispikad transkriptsioonid vestlustest haigete endiga. Sealjuures ei analüüsita mitte ainult patsiendi suhtumist ja reageerimist olukorrale, vaid sedagi, kuidas on näiteks arst neile haigetele uudise teatavaks teinud, millised on suhted ülejäänud med.personaliga (miks mõnda haiget välditakse, miks suhtlus kisub teravaks, alati on kuskil see oluline põhjus, mida üles leides läheb lõpuks kõigil olemine kergemaks), samuti see, kuidas reageerivad vestluste juures viibinud autor, arst ja kaplan ise iga patsiendi loole. Mulle ei tule loomulikult üllatusena, et kehvapoolse uudise teatavaks tegemine on oluline, küll aga tuli üllatusena, et seda (vähemasti tollel ajal ja nende uuringute tulemusena) on ikka väga erinevalt tehtud.

Endamisi mõtisklemiseks väga hea lugemine ja autori stiil on ka selline, et mingit ahastust ja musta masendusmülkasse vajumist ei teki

Reading this book in public sometimes makes people curious or uncomfortable. I've been asked if I'm in the midst of losing someone but no one is ill and I'm fine. Someone once told me I should read this because I told them that at times, for fear of being inappropriate, I don't know what to say when others announce they've lost someone other than the stale "so sorry for your loss", "if you ever need to talk I'm here", etc. It just never felt like that was helpful or enough.
It is not an 'Emily Post' approach to death that guides on what to say/do when someone you know is experiencing a death/loss in their family, but an insightful read on how medical professionals should treat the terminally ill as well as their families (most of the ill patients in the book are dealing with cancer).

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and Hope were stages in the book that I felt I'd know what to expect to read when it came to the patient and relatives of patients examples but I was definitely surprised and touched by the Acceptance stage. Sometimes a patient will accept their fate and go with dignity but sometimes they do this by detaching from all their meaningful relationships rather than have everyone 'round 24/7 until the end. They eventually request no further visitation from friends and extended family, then request that the kids stop visiting so its only the spouse, and then finally, they request to that no one is allowed to visit them until it's time for them to really go. Initially I thought this was very sad and maybe cruel to do to the family (but the book does give relatives a good talking to about being so selfish) but reading further on that stage helped me realize it's actually brave, positive, and necessary for some. There's more in that area that I found interesting and rattling to my own fears of death but that should do for now. I enjoyed the patient interviews although some were tearjerkers.
Overall, this helped me have a better understanding of the myriad of ways people may cope with death and dying and what we can do as caregivers of the terminally ill to better serve or support them through their process.

I read this book three years after my mother passed away. At the time I refused all help, including reading any books which would have reflected my situation at the time.
No doubt 'On Death and Dying' would have been helpful to me, but I don't think I could have appreciated it to the fullest extent. I'm happy to have read it now, and I think I got what I needed from it.
I'm young, and I will experience many more deaths in my life- and there's always the possibility of facing my own death as well! I look forward to the opportunity to do better with someone's end-of-life care the next time around. My favourite thing about this book is the potential (and now, so many years after it was first published, the evidence) that so much of this discussion can be applied to many, many large shifts or trauma in our lives. As a queer person, I can also see how the stages in this book might be supportive to someone's own coming-out, or dealing with the coming-out of a loved one.

'Death and Dying' was a great, and most importantly, casual and, I would even venture, grassroots or ground-zero resource and flash-point for wisdom and insight on facing life-altering change.

"Observar la muerte pacífica de un ser humano nos recuerda la caída de una estrella; en un cielo inmenso, una de entre un millón de luces brilla sólo unos momentos y desaparece para siempre en la noche perpetua. Ser terapista de un paciente moribundo nos hace conscientes de la calidad de único que posee cada individuo en este vasto mar de la humanidad. Nos hace conscientes de nuestra finitud, de la limitación de nuestra vida. Pocos de nosotros viven más de setenta años, y no obstante, en ese breve tiempo, la mayoría creamos y vivimos una biografía única, y nos urdimos en la trama de la historia humana". ▪️ En el estudio del desarrollo humano la mayor parte de la información que podemos encontrar está enmarcada en la infancia y adolescencia. Hasta hace relativamente poco tiempo, el desarrollo de la persona en la edad adulta y en el envejecimiento eran cuestiones que no se abarcaban tanto y uno de los temas más controvertidos en analizar dentro de esta etapa pasaba también por alto: la muerte. Elisabeth Kübler - Ross fue una médica psiquiatra reconocida por su acercamiento a la cuestión a través de seminarios con pacientes terminales, estudiantes, sanitarios y capellanes. A raíz de la reticencia e incertidumbre que ella observó en muchos profesionales a tratar de cerca con pacientes a los que les quedaban pocos meses de vida empezó a plantearse la idea de abordar la cuestión de forma directa con los pacientes, de preguntarles qué es lo que querían, qué sentían, qué esperaban de los demás en esas circunstancias. Empezó las entrevistas solo con estudiantes que pudieran observar lo que se hablaba en ellas y poco a poco también incluyó a un capellán en las conversaciones. De sus estudios nacen las conocidas y controvertidas "Fases del duelo". Controvertidas porque la muestra de pacientes de la que extrajo las conclusiones pertenecía a un tipo de cultura muy concreta y porque no necesariamente todo el mundo vive el duelo igual. La idea de clasificar ese camino en fases no contentó a todo el mundo y puesto que no existen reglas exactas en esta cuestión, en la actualidad su estudio se toma más bien como una ejemplificación de diferentes actitudes personales ante la llegada de la muerte.

Dejando a un lado las críticas, Kübler - Ross logró romper con ciertas ideas como la de que aquellos pacientes cercanos al final de la vida no requerían atenciones porque no servía de nada. Sus conclusiones y observaciones fueron una inspiración y una base para el estudio de los actuales cuidados paliativos, dando prioridad a las necesidades del paciente y poniendo el foco en su dignidad y búsqueda de paz para afrontar la muerte. Muchas de las personas entrevistadas que aparecen en la lectura mantienen conflictos ya sea con sus seres queridos, con ellos mismos o con Dios, que no les dejan descansar con tranquilidad. A otras les invaden dudas y miedos que necesitan compartir. Otros no quieren hablar, solo necesitan silencio. Se trata mucho la cuestión de la fe durante las charlas y la autora llega a una observación muy interesante donde tras hablar con muchísimos pacientes constata que la mayoría se encuentran en una posición intermedia entre mantener la fe o perderla, muy pocos se mantienen firmes ante una decisión clara hasta el final. Lo que sí queda en ellos es la esperanza por vivir.

Es una lectura emocionante donde cada entrevista te enseña que cada uno ha vivido su vida como ha podido, sea mejor o peor no toca al juicio de los profesionales ni de los familiares señalarlo puesto que cada ser humano ya termina por enfrentarse él mismo a su final. Un final que es parte de la vida, no un evento aislado del que no podemos hablar, si no un acontecimiento más que con respeto y cuidado podemos acompañar.

"El agua en un vaso está llena de destellos;
el agua del mar es oscura.
La pequeña verdad tiene palabras claras;
la gran verdad tiene un gran silencio".

a fundamental book to read and hold close as we wax in a society that has stripped away all the support we collectively had become human within; all the the collective knowledge, rituals for the individual and in company of caring others need to be refound, re- visited, re- viewed, re-known. This book is about the impact of definitive loss of a living being in our lives. There is loss, also, in betrayal, carelessness, rupture with no repair, and more. She addressed this inevitable event with graciousness that helped me stay with and be the best help possible for my angrily frustrated fading terminally ill grandmother. It was a relief to recognise my inner dialogue and external behaviour in this "conversation" about a suicide of a close family member i had experienced not even a decade earlier. Kubler-Ross' stages have been usefully expanded upon, and linearity, only another one of those cruel impositions on our organic existence created by our industrialised socialisation, is not part of the grieving process. Our brains are structured to understand the ephemeral and mysterious through metaphors, images, like the ones she offers. We then can feel validated to creating our own images to help us through. I continue to suggest her material to survivors of violence that come for trauma therapy. Is she one of the reasons I am able to do the work I do? She is proving to be sound help to an anguished older man who confides in me, occasionally, about his losses and pains so long ago, as well as during this COVID 19 pandemic. Please read this book, both to honor her work and efforts to bring to us what she learned, as well as to participate in the discussion about what awaits us all and is so feared because it has a veiled presence in our daily lives, when it dares rise from the dungeon of the western mind.

"Se fizéssemos um esforço sobre-humano para encarar nossa própria morte, para analisar as ansiedades que permeiam nosso conceito de morte e para ajudar os semelhantes a se familiarizarem com tais pensamentos, talvez houvesse menos destruição ao nosso redor."

I am more than grateful for you Dr. Kubler-Ross! Though it was not easy at all, but your life quest on death and dying really helped me in very sensitive situations I have been dealing with! Thank you!

"...and the stars seemed like the burning tears of that ignorant darkness."
#Tagore