A very disturbing book that pays no heed to particularity or Biblical interpretation. John is neither a theologian nor a psychologist but occupies the bland middle ground of knowing just enough to be damaging but not enough to recognize how much damage his views cause.

Let me start by saying, bless John Eldredge's heart. Bless it. But this book is more scary than anything. I think the author has seen something distasteful to him in the men he has counseled, or possibly in the media, or in church, and while trying to encourage, has thrown the pendulum in entirely the wrong direction.

Maybe it's my bias against the regular use of The Message translation of the Bible, but he plays fast and loose with his Scripture references. Some are not as offensive, like concluding that God was disappointed with Bathsheba since she is referred to as "Uriah's wife," as opposed to Tamar, Rahab, and Ruth in Jesus' genealogy in Matthew. Whatever. But then the story about telling his son to hit the bully back, instead of turning his cheek, turned my stomach. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HELLO! This isn't even about turning the other cheek anymore, this is about teaching your kid that retaliation is ok. That the rules of behavior are relative to if someone did it to you first.

Most disturbing is his insistence that God is a risk taker. It's just not true. When God created us and this world, He knew exactly what would happen. And he even had a plan (1 Peter 1:20).

There are some good points, and the guy isn't a cult leader or anything, but in general, I think the book gives men permission to blame other people for their problems, and misguides them on their journey to true manliness.

(But don't ask me what true manliness is. That's the beauty of giving a book review on the internet.)

A familiar title to many, wild at Heart is a popular book amongst male Christians. After hearing mixed views, I set myself the task of reading the book myself. This book explores the make up of the masculine heart, which appeals to me and I?m sure, to many other female readers out there.


One thing that is clearly highlighted throughout this book is this: you can take the guy out of the country, but you can?t take the country out of the guy. Let me explain.
The writer suggests that boys, sorry men, have this need and desire to be in the wilderness, where he can create his own ?dangerous? adventures. He states that, men don?t have to be raised in the country to possess this overwhelming desire, but implies that this desire is all part of God?s creation. Something in that Y chromosome then eh??

With this said, he does what a lot of American writers do (in my personal experience) and relates this desire back to Disney. Disney is popular nowadays for creating fairytale romances, where the young man fights for his true love. Although not the first to create such a tale, Disney brought these to the younger generation. The brave young man finds himself in his comfort zone, that is the wilderness, where he challenges his attackers. Obviously his attackers are greater than he, but somehow, this young man fights against all odds, to win the heart of his true beauty.

The writer suggests that men crave this desire to fight for someone, the women he has been looking for. But do they fight for the women, or do they fight for the adventure of fighting??

One thing the writer emphasises is this. Men, being married does not make you any more of a man, than killing a lion does. Women do not make men, ?men?. He says:
?A man does not go to a woman to get his strength, he goes to her to offer it.?

The writer highlights that often men feel, when they have a wife or girlfriend, they become a man. He emphasises the need for God in this equation. A man needs to seek God and get his strength for Him.

Becoming a man, is a journey that a man takes with God. Here he will discover what kind of man God has called him to be and God will guide and mentor him. That is the most important thing I can take from this book. A man will become a man, is God?s perfect timing, and women, you are the same. You will become that woman of God, when you seek Him, to guide you in that.

Although the media creates the common misconception, that men can grin and bare all, they can?t. Their heart is more than a muscle too, and they need God to be their comfort, just like we do. Girls, this is important to know. I look at the males who surround me in my family and I consider what I?ve just said. How many times have I seen them cry? Not many at all, but it has happened, and that?s good thing. It lets us girls know that they do have a heart?trust me guys, its ok to cry.

To quote a great song ?My troubled soul, why so weighed down? You were not made to bare this heavy load. So cast your burdens upon the Lord, Jesus cares He cares for you.? He cares for you men out there too.

God creating man in his own image, so of course He will be the only one who can define the masculine heart. He knows your heart, and knows what you can handle. Take everything to Him in prayer, and He will mould your masculine heart. The book itself, does raise issues that I do not agree with, but that?s for another time. On the whole I found this book enjoyable which I was surprised about. For all your ?Wild at Heart? readers out there, you should read ?Captivating.?

And for all you William Wallace?s out there, the battle belongs to the Lord

peace

This book was recommended to me by an old friend of my sister's who lived in New Brunswick, back around 2011. He recommended it and I ordered it.

He is something of a wild man himself. Towards the end of our friendship I grew leery if his acerbic and biting emails, and I suspended contact with him.

It was just as well. Burnt out and browned off by aggressive Gnostics of his ilk, I got to know his type.

Gnostics purport, often secretively, to be in possession of a superior form of knowledge. You may know a few of them yourself. Their ego is six inches thick. Affable and quick of tongue, their friends readily affirm their selfhood knowing their action will be reciprocal. An easy sorta acquaintance.

We are not part of their clan.

They will readily confirm that fact tacitly, being always on the move toward greener pastures. The "greener" the better, and jaundiced oldtimers who keep their salt shakers handy need not apply.
***
Gnostics seek Eldorado. Sorta like Whitman in Leaves of Grass - the Grand Old Vision of Superabundant Life.

Relax, folks! That’s only a shimmering mirage in the desert of modernity. And anyway, Superabundant Life in now verboten by our modern, belt-tightening standards.

That’s a good thing, too, because Eldridge’s hyperbolic view of life is nowadays a Bridge too Far - more perceptive people than I once was have erected a roadblock on our modern highway to it - and that’s only sensible.

If the human race is to survive it must use its head.

That bridge too far has been washed away by our demagogues’ chaotic floodwaters. It’s time to wake up.

So, hotheads take heed:

Touting passion over reason, as you do, will only get us all a Darwin Award.

A friend of mine once made a good point by saying that many modern churches are trying to turn men into sweater wearing old women. Nowadays only the uniform has changed: untucked shirt, trendy blue jeans and a Starbucks cup. Eldredge provides an illustrative alternative to the mega church status quo.

I read this at a time in my life when I was searching spiritually, looking for a place to fit. I'm not saying that Eldredge's book provided an epiphany, but he helped to place in context the first century, subversive and radical message with the sometimes watered down, drained of color and suburban sermons shared today.

To be entirely fair, I did not read very much of this book. I have not opened it since throwing it across the room in the midst of a weirdly sexist passage. So I acknowledge that the final four fifths of it might be of far superior quality than the first fifth. But from what little I read, I found it absurd. It takes gender dichotomies seriously and tries to construct a spirituality around it. At best, it is a an interesting artifact in the strange and upsetting culture of gender in American Christianity of a certain type. Maybe at some point I will calm down enough to read it all through and tell you more.

I couldn’t keep a copy of this on my shelf because I kept giving it away. Even though John wrote it for men, it still spoke to my heart. When I look back at my single years, I have no regrets. I’m so glad I allowed the Lord to show me that I had adventures to live before I got married, and that it was okay to be wild at heart!

Apart from the ruthless elimination of hurry, this is my second favorite book I’ve read. Truly a tear-jerker, inspiring, and a guilty pleasure to read…. As it is a book about men for men. I can’t help myself but love it.

I can honestly say that I find this book trite, over-espoused, and drastically overadored by a great many men and women that I generally like and enjoy spending time with. This doesn't make them dumb, bad, or idiots. It just makes them different than me. This doesn't make me smarter, good, or a non-idiot. It just makes me not a person who fits comfortably into any of the suggested roles that John Eldridge tells us that men secretly long for.
I don't want and never wanted to be a knight, saving fair damsels from horseback and fighting off all the monsters and dragons the dark corners of the world could come up with. I always wanted to be more of a poet, a minstrel, or something equally as corny (in the eyes of Eldridge - from what I can gather according to this smarmy book, anyway). Loving what I do and wanting what I want doesn't make me feminized or effectively spiritually castrated, as John would have me think.
I'm actually really okay being who I am and longing for what I do. It's what our Abba has sewn into me, and I am thankful for it.
The dangers inherent in overgeneralizing the Christian walk and the inner life with Christ can be found in many forms within these pages. I know that it's served as deeply encouraging to many, and challenging to others. I'm not dissing those experiences, and I'm thankful that they've happened for other folks. They just didn't happen in any way at all for me while reading this.
Nada. Nothing.
Nothing except annoyance and frustration, that is, and I'm enough of a philosopher and self-questioner to do plenty of self-examining as to why that was: was I uncomfortable because he was pushing some buttons I'd denied existed? Was he right on about things I was unhappy to admit were real? Etcetera, etcetera?
Nope.
I just didn't like this at all.
The end.

Recommended to me by my friends Mathew and Eddy. Eldredge argues that all men have three core desires: (1) battle, (2) adventure, and (3) beauty. It follows that if these are universal desires in all men, then God must have put them there for a reason (desire points toward design).

Some ideas that I like: men ought to be courageous and face their battles head-on. They need to find something greater than themselves to fight for. Men should seek to find their "name" from God. They should address their wounds and traumas, not run from them. Men need to stop medicating their brokenness with ambition, pornography, ministry, service, relationships, etc.; they should instead address their insecurities no matter how afraid they are that they will be "found out". Men need to stop worshipping women, and instead view them as companions on a greater journey. Men need to address their relationships with their fathers and forgive them (and themselves). Ultimately, the only thing that can make an empty man whole is Christ.

I like this appeal to a Christian recalibration of masculinity. I've been blessed to have been a participant at multiple camps which explore this sort of thing (Radical camp, Lions Heart camp, 4MUS XCC). If this is something that appeals to you, Google "4MUSA" and "Conquer Series"!

All that said, this is not the only means by which one can get to know God. Religious tradition continues to permeate through the centuries because it works. We continue to sing hymns and preach sermons and do Bible studies because they work. I think this sort of "Christian masculinity" can potentially become problematic if it loses its "Christianity".

Overall, good read.

4.4/5

Note: I preface my review by stating that the second half of this book is very heavily based around the core religious creed of Christianity. If you are not a Christian, or are antithetically opposed to Christian beliefs, you will just have to skim over or let it slide over your head and try to appreciate the overall point.

I myself am a Muslim and I was able to understand the general message being put forth whilst discarding beliefs which I do not share with the Author. The rest of this review (and the 5* rating itelf) is representative of the book content itself, aside from the Christian teaching within.

This book was one of the most profound I have ever read. Its one of those books you feel as though you have read before in your life, but not from paper. You feel it in your heart and mind. Me reading this book was the physical counterpart to the words I already knew within.

This book isnt what some may think, it isnt calling upon Men to leave their families, quit their jobs and live in the wild. Rather it speaks to us telling us truths that are essential for us to be able to support out families, follow our dreams and overcome our fears.

This isnt just the standard hocus-pocus self help book either. This is a fundamental reunderstanding of what it means to be a Man, and equally as important, how we can go about becoming one.

If I can sum up the book in a single sentence, it would be as John Eldridge himself says:

"Femininity cannot bestow Masculinity, only Masculinity can bestow Masculinity"

For Men to grow up and be Men (what defines Manhood is also explained), we need to be taught by our Fathers, Family and Friends. We need their company, their assurance, their guidance and their encouragement. Without this tacit approval, we are left forever wondering if we are Men, if we have what it takes. This journey to find an answer in the absence of one can break down lives.

This book reads as a theoretical and practical guide as to how to nurture a healthy sense of Masculinity in our children, and how to fix ourselves if we suffer the wound of not knowing if we are Men or not.

I am not exaggerating when I say that this book has changed my simplistic outlook on the matter of Fatherhood and Manhood by an astronomical proportion.

Fascinating read. This review does not do it justice. This book is a note-takers dream.

I found this book so offensive that at one point I chucked it across a room and broke a glass figurine. How's that for wild at heart?