Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

This book really helped me to understand who I am as a man in terms of creation. Why do I like to drive motorcycles, why do I love to travel the world where the average person dare not tread. Why at the gym I have the need to lift more weight and drive my heart that much harder? It's because that is how God made me. God has a wild and dangerous aspect to His personality. We can see it in creation itself and it's reflected in every man.

from ChristianBook.com:
Helping men rediscover their masculine heart, Wild at Heart, a guide to understanding Christian manhood and Christian men, offers a refreshing break from the chorus of voices urging men to be more responsible, reliable, dutiful ... and dead. God designed men to be dangerous, says Eldredge. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in every boy's heart: to be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires---aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It's no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be---dangerous, passionate, alive, and free.

Abandoned on page 83.
I wanted to read this because I wanted to get some insight into raising a boy. What do boys really need and how can I get out of the way of that? I like that this particular book was from a Christian perspective but it has major issues.
Granted, I'm probably the wrong audience but I didn't think I would be THAT wrong.
I found this book incredibly insulting. It has a very black and white way of looking at men, which could be fine if he backed it up with something. Instead, he contradicts himself. You're either a macho poser who hunts/fishes/chomps cigars or a milquetoast Christian man with manners and no spine. I asked my husband his opinion after giving him a couple of synopses. He was insulted as well.
There were parts that I liked in my short commitment: Jesus as the wild, passionate man. The fact that boys crave adventure and moms need to get out of the way. But more often I read passages that made me want to cringe - this very rigid black and white view of the world that zero of the men in my life fit into.
Eldredge gave no advice on how to stop being passive if you were the milquetoast or tone down the posing if you are the cigar chomper. No "accept who you are" kind of advice. Instead he seemed to blame everyone for the sorry state of men (his implication, not mine) of the world. Absentee fathers, present fathers, the schools, churches, moms, etc. Sounds like you're doomed before you start! And this was really only targeting cis-gendered Christian! There's a whole lot of man out there that doesn't fit your audience.
I'm going to turn my attention to another book on raising boys and encouraging their development into manhood. I suggest you do too.

Perskaitęs knygą supratau, kad esu naminis širdyje. Manęs netraukia nei žiaurumas, nei panašūs dalykai.

If men were born to be "wild", to hunt and fish and rescue damsel's in distress by brute force, how do you explain the fact that God loved Jacob just as much as he loved Esau? Esau was just a dude who had a wild personality. Jacob was more of a poet and a contemplative. They are both good in the Lord's eyes.

In my opinion, John Eldredge is more of an Esau-type personality and people who have similar personalities will enjoy his books. People who are more like Jacob will either see that Eldredge is over-generalizing or go inward and feel like they are not "wild" or manly enough. I chose the former. I pray that those who choose the latter would not go inward, in Jesus' name.

I like Donald Miller's definition of a man, in his book "To Own a Dragon". He says:

"God’s definition of a real man is a person with a penis!...And as much fun as I was having, I was also being serious. It had been a long journey for me, a journey filled with doubt and fear, and the only answer I could come up with is that all the commercials, all the sales tactics that said I wasn’t a real man unless I bought some book, or wore some aftershave, or slept with some cheerleader, were complete lies. If you have a penis, I told the group of guys, God has spoken… You are men. Some of you have never heard this before, but I want to tell you, you are men. You are not boys, you are not children, you are not women, you are men. God has spoken, and when God speaks, the majority has spoken. You are a man."

Often times when reading Christian books I hit a spot where I have to "eat the meat and spit out the bones." There were a few of those moments in this book, but overall? Loved it.

I first heard of it from a former professor and the background story to why I wanted to read Wild at Heart is worth mentioning. I was helping paint the professor's house for some cash over the summer. In the middle of a hot August afternoon I attempted to kill silence by asking, at the peak of my a.d.d., the famous question from the movie "Fight Club." I asked, "If you could fight any person from all of history, who would you pick?"

Without hesitating my professor answered, "There was a kid who used to pick on me in 6th and 7th grade. He used to beat me up almost every day. I'd fight that kid."

Taken aback, I had to ask for clarification, "Wait, you're telling me, as a grown man, you'd go back and beat up a kid? You wouldn't face him as an adult?" Unflinching the professor said, "Well, I may have fought back as a kid, but I was always taught to turn the other cheek, and it emasculated me. Made me feel like less of a boy. That kid kind of took that from me. So yeah, I guess if I had to do it as an adult, I would. As a kid, though, I'd still fight him. Either way, I would like to go back and kick that kid's butt."

I still kind of laugh at the complete honesty of this good friend and mentor. He went on to tell me how so many Christian young men are taught to turn the other cheek and then never stand up for themselves. How this book helped set him free from the bondage he'd been put in by years of being told to be a doormat.

I checked out the book and saw exactly what he meant. I also feel like this book prepared me for fatherhood, being a better husband, and overall, being a better man. Not just a Christian man, but a better man.

I highly recommend this for every human male.

This was an awesome book. The book is intended for men, as they usually enjoy the outdoors more than women.... My friends know differently, atleast in my case! It really focuses on spirituality in a "man's" view. It involved nature and I learned something about men at the same time. I loved it and would recommend it to anyone, male or female. Although it is a Christian book, it really has lessons to be learned for all faiths. However, there are some portions that did not always make sense to me and my opinions.

I wanted to read this book again because when I read it the first time 7 years ago it was deeply impactful to my life at the time. I wanted to see if the message held the same weight to a 31 year old married man as to a 25 year old single man and for the most part it did. Its challenge to rise to manhood, seek adventure, and fight for a beauty are what a masculine heart longs for. Quotes like; "let the world feel the weight of who you are as a man, and let them deal with it." and "don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." are inspiring and thought provoking. There was more "fluff" to the message than I had remembered but all in all a book I would recommend.

I've never read a book on biblical masculinity. There is SO much to look forward to in this book and honestly, some to be cautious of as well. It was really hard to choose between giving it 3 or 4 stars, but ultimately put it as 4 because I believe that anyone within the church body should be able to read this and be challenged in specific ways, though it may not speak to all the same. When I read the first chapter, I had to stop reading for a while in confusion and ask for wisdom from community that had read it... it felt like a military manly hype-speech with a couple bible verses at first. Though he continually tries to point out that that's not what he's trying to be, it can still be interpreted that way.

Eldridge makes three big points about men. In the heart of every man is a desperate desire for:
1. A battle to fight
2. An adventure to live
3. A beauty to rescue

The dangerous ways we could interpret this book:
1. Each man needs to live out their “dream” no matter what it is.
2. Men need to just be more "manly." If only we will go hiking and camping more then we will discover what it means to be a man.
3. Could be seen as stereotyped versions of men & women.

But as you read on, Eldredge makes some incredibly insightful points...
1. Most men in the church believe God put them on earth to be passive moral people. That is not who we are called to be! God has a fierce heart and jealously loves, the same way that we should. We must not strip a man of strength and call it sanctification.
2. Our wounds from our past affect how we live into a "false self," often either overcompensating with being driven (violent) or passive (retreating). We must seek to heal the wound rather than deny it. Desperately depend on God. Often healing our wounds can lead us to take part in healing our community's similar wounds.
3. God must be the one to where we find our masculinity. Everything else falls short: the achievements, the adventures, the girl all are empty pursuits. True masculinity is spirituality.
4. We must be disciplined in our consistent delight in God or we will look for other things that don't satisfy.
5. Don't go to battle alone. Have at least one man by your side. Men find it hard to accept they need fellowship with other men. There is never a more devoted group of men than those who have fought alongside one another.
6. Many men (especially living in the false-self) make life choices based off what they can be competent at and can control, and never take a risk. We call it "duty." Meanwhile the passions of our soul is waiting on the other side of our fears.

Some fire quotes:
- "Some women want a passive man if they want a man at all; the church wants a tamed man- they are called priest, the university wants a domesticated man - they are called tenure-track people; the corporation wants a... sanitized, hairless, shallow man." - Robert Bly
- "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation " - Thoreau
- "Ecstasy and delight are essential to the believer's soul and they promote sanctification. We are not meant to live without spiritual exhilaration... The believer is in spiritual danger if he allows himself to go for any length of time without tasting the love of Christ... When Christ ceases to fill the heart with satisfaction, our souls will go in silent search of other lovers" - Maurice Roberts
- "The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet" - Frederick Buechner
- "Naturally we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing... certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation" - My Utmost for His Highest

I walk away challenged to find my identity and masculinity deeper in the Father, emboldened to speak up and fight for things God is passionate for, and encouraged to look deeper into my heart as to how I can fulfill the beautiful and pure desires God has placed in there.