4.5/10
There are definitely some positives to this book and I know it has a pretty stellar reputation as far as it’s effectiveness, but it wasn’t really for me. The story format, while is utilized fairly well to introduce some complex ideas in a very simplified and more accessible form, was just too sappy. It was almost like reading an infomercial just injected with fake and cheesy dialogue. Also I have a hard time not pointing out that the super amazing and groundbreaking leadership techniques can be boiled down to “don’t treat your subordinates like they are objects.’ Obviously there’s more to it than that, but that’s certainly the overarching message.

Read this as an obligatory book from my company.
In reality, i did not like it. It sounded like the book was written down to kids with over the top metaphors and always emphasized the

The ideas presented in this short business fiction are powerful. Having read some of the other Arbinger Books (Anatomy of Peace, Outward Mindset) and Terry Warner's Bonds That Make Us Free I think this is a really great starting place to understanding those ideas and wish I'd started here and then worked towards the others.

Basic ideas off the top of my head that I recall:
1. Self-deception is when we are in a place of justifying ourselves to others in order to maintain a status quo that supports a reality that makes us look good, and inflates the negative attributes of others.

2. Self-betrayal is how we get into self-deception, and happens when we ignore or fail to act in ways towards others that we know we should. Once this action is avoided, we begin to justify that choice which entrenches us into self-deception. This can happen incredibly fast.

3. The only way out of self-deception is to view others as people rather than objects to our own self-justifying reality and to focus only on how we might help and support their humanity towards a shared goal vs justifying our own righteous position in relation to them or others.

Don't read this if you are looking for a great story to sit down with and get lost. I didn't mind the format of the narrative, I think it does help tie the various story examples together and certainly don't think it hindered my grasping of the concepts of self-deception, self-betrayal, and so on. I listened to the audiobook which was a great plunge through the content but I want to get a physical copy so I can review the models, definitions, and examples.

Imagine a world where we all are actively seeking to be aware of our own attunement to what we should be doing in relation to others! I'm eager to renew my own commitment to be "out of the box" as often as I can, and to everyone I interact with. I highly recommend this book. Just don't expect it to be the next great American novel or anything because it isn't about the fiction writing but the concrete ideas that can be applied in any kind of context where people are working or living together.

It was incredibly hard to get through this book.
Repetitive. Exceedingly pretentious analogies. Should have just dropped this book early on.

I read this book in one day...I just couldn't put it down. An excellent book on how to be a better person and leader. Really set well with my beliefs on building relationships which are the love of others versus love of self. I think I will buy this book for each of my adult children to read. Hopefully they can learn these concepts faster than the 52 years it has taken me!

It is also a MUST read for leaders in business, especially if you are involved in Network Marketing. Really it is a must read for anyone who wants to make quantum leaps in reaching results in attaining their goals.

I want to thank my son-in-law Brett Taylor who loaned me the book to read. Thank you for thinking so good of me.

A fable of leadership. Teaching through storytelling.

Self-deception makes you think that the needs of other people aren't important, which, in turn, makes you treat them like objects. You're “in the box” as the authors put it. You see others as mere objects instead of the living breathing beings they are. Which often means they don't get the respect they deserve from you. This is self-deception at its core. It's the idea that you don't see others as they really are but instead how you think they are. In other words, you frequently deceive yourself into thinking that others don't even really have needs at all. This is a severe limitation of your worldview. Not only does it limit the care that others get from you, but it also hinders your progression.

Once you fall into the vicious cycle of self-deception it can be hard to get out. Part of the reason for this is because you tend to think of it as being harmless to others. But it does hurt people, and it keeps you from reaching your full potential. When you overlook other's desires and virtues and overemphasize your own you prevent yourself from meeting their needs. That makes them suffer and makes you selfish.

Self-deception means betraying yourself, so if you can stop that, then you can get out of the box. But you can't just change your behavior, especially by trying to cope or avoid others. Instead, you must focus on changing your mind. Remember that self-deception doesn't come from what you do but rather what you think and feel about others. So that's what you have to target to beat it. To change your mindset, always ask yourself if you're actually better than the people you're around. If you're a leader, you'll create an atmosphere of responsibility where people focus more on getting work done instead of blaming others.

This volume is one of those workplace fables, and I cordially hate those sort of books. But in this case, the problem the book identifies is a serious one and worthy of study: the complex tangle of self-deception, self-justification, and blaming others for the problems we have within. My only complaint, besides the cheesy nature of the story, is that this sort of fable means that the solution is oversimplified by the chatty, narrative way it is delivered. So I would wish it could be delivered in a straight, non-narrative way. I would like a lot more detailed information on how to work on self-justification and deception in the workplace. But I thank the Arbinger Institute for articulating the problem, and helping many people find an answer -- or as they put it, a way out of the box.

Fictional narrative is not my favorite way to address non-fiction topics (I didn't know that was the format before reading it), so the star rating reflects style more than content.

The principals here are solid and interesting, get you to think differently, but being so tuned to story the delivery was very flat for me and oftentimes didactic and hard to follow. Give it a 3 on principals but less than that if we're going by literary merit.

Honestly one of the best books on leadership and personal growth I have ever read. I have read a lot too. This book seems to have been written right to me. I do not think this book is for everyone, but more for the people that feel like they have tried a lot of approaches and have not found the success or the correct advice just yet. The principles discussed in this book are explained to a very simple level with many great examples and real life experiences that most will be able to relate to. I am excited to implement these strategies both at work and at home.

This book is an easy read (or listed in my case). It went so quick and easy that I am actually planning to listen to it at least one more time really soon.

READ THIS BOOK RIGHT NOW.

I'm serious.

I'm not really into management books, but this one was recommended to me by a friend and mentor who I respect immensely. She gave me her copy months and months ago, and boy do I wish I picked it up sooner.

Firstly, this book is incredibly readable. Though it's about communication and interpersonal relationships, it's not a dry, non-fiction handbook. The concepts the book present are unveiled slowly, through a fictional story. Tons of real-life examples are used, and the story just makes you wanna keep reading to find out the next step in getting out of the box. I flew through this book in a couple of days.

I won't try to explain the concepts presented in this book; you really need to read it. But suffice it to say that they have changed the way I look at myself and others close to me. I am SO in the box most of the time, and it's time that I got out. I look forward to putting the concepts presented in this book into practice. I know my family, friends, and co-workers will appreciate it.

The analogy of "being in the box" is stupid...but the concepts and knowledge is this book is awesome. The book articulated something I've tried to explain to myself but was unable to do, at least not to this level of clarity.

This is going into my "books all managers should read" list.

Notes for myself:
- You get in the box due to self-betrayal
- *After* that you justify your action (or lack of action) by making the other person seem terrible and yourself seem great
- After a while you can be default "in the box" with someone else, even without self-betrayal in a particular situation.
- You should audit your relationships and figure out who you're in or out of the box with