"My self-justifying image about being learned can be the very thing that sometimes keeps me from learning."
- The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception



Like most series, I tend to read them backwards. I've known about these Arbinger books for years, but only recently read them. Last year I read Anatomy of Peace and figured it made sense to close the circle on the "box" and read the book that started the whole Arbinger/Self-Deception/Leadership thing.

A quick background (I talk about this a bit in my Anatomy of Peace review): I know C. Terry Warner's family. I actually went to a private, prep school in Provo, Utah with both C. Terry Warner's kids and Steven R. Covey's kids (all we needed was Clayton Christensen's kids and we would have had a full set). The school was amazing. I didn't realize at the time that I was learning French and pre-Calc among the progeny of Leadership Gurus.

First, let me back up. You might never even recognize C. Terry Warner's name while reading this book. He isn't mentioned anywhere in the book directly. It has, however, his philosophical fingerprints all over it. The book isn't written by one person, but rather by an organization (Arbinger Institute) that was founded by Dr. Warner. It builds on C. Terry Warner's ideas of self-deception, human emotions, and organizational performance.

C. Terry Warner is a PhD in philosophy and taught for years at BYU so it is natural that the foundations of a lot of Arbinger (a company he founded) is centered around philosophy, theology, and psychology. This book focuses on self-deception, and how treating people as objects and not people, and self-betrayal (not acting on our impulse to help others), hurts families, organizations, and individuals. I think the ideas in this book are sound. I wasn't, however, a fan of the terms "in the box" or "out of the box". I understand why they used it (simplicity, visually instructive, intuitive), but it also seemed a bit too simplistic (maybe that is what today's business demand?) and confusing (for years people have used the cliche "thinking outside the box" which is a completely different idea).

Anyway, I generally hate self-help and corporate leadership books. I do, however, have a soft spot for the Arbinger books, and do find them to be a bit more useful than most. Part of the reason I liked, yet am still also a bit conflicted about it, fits into a term coined by my friend Nathaniel. He called Arbinger and Covey books a sub-genre of "covertly religious business books". Some of the stories were familiar to me locally. Some concepts seemed, like Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, to repackage theological and ethical arguments I am very familiar with. Again, some of that may come from where I grew up, and the kids I was hanging with.

The reading journey continues with this gem

Read for my Professional Development Book Club. Quick read, as much as for personal growth as for professional. Excellent if you are aiming to be a good person and improve the lives of those with whom you live and work, although you could be financially successful without doing any of this...and apparently even become President of the United States.

A brief glance at my reading history will demonstrate that this is not the sort of thing that I usually read, but when your boss gives you a book as a Christmas gift, you’d probably better read it.

The book’s structure is a little off putting. It’s not written like a standard work of non-fiction; instead it’s like a novel with one boring cardboard character giving another boring cardboard character a lesson about “thinking outside the box.” Apparently, this is the book that popularized that now extremely cliched phrase. Now that I’ve actually read the book, I realize I’ve misunderstood the cliche for years.

Despite it’s cardboard prose, Leadership and Self-Deception teaches a lot of sound principles of leadership and interpersonal relationships. It teaches them with clarity, and although it’s not exactly beautifully written, it goes down pretty quick. It was far less horrible than I imagined it would be when I first spotted it on my desk, decked with a bow.

Mikä on vahvempi ilmaus suosittelulle? Aivoni nyrjähtivät. En keksi ketään, kuka ei tästä kirjasta hyötyisi.

Edit. Luin kirjan uudelleen, sattumalta tasan kolme vuotta edellisen kerran jälkeen. Olisinpa lukenut sen tässä välissä kolmesti.

A must read book for everyone who thinks he is right all the time and the other person is wrong. A book which serves as a compendium in resolving every troubled relationship in your life.

Quite an incredible read. Requires introspection while encouraging growth in a reader. Though I picked it up initially hoping to continue my pursuits of being a capable and quality leader, I found the lessons in the book to be applicable to every aspect of my relationships with others.

Seems like a good book to reference in moments where I am stuck or frustrated in my relationships.

Ok. Easy to read, but lots to digest. Reading this book brought back many of my past experiences that had I known these principles things could be different. But I know now. I am excited to put this into practice and see how I can add to the people around me. I am glad I read this book!

Interesting way of thinking that takes some practice for most people. For some reason, I tend to think this way most of the time. I do need to consider this whenever I start to feel my frustration levels rise with someone.

I don't read business books often and this one did keep me reading. And it has some important ideas like focusing on others as persons that I can translate from Mason's principles. And it gets to an HDO point.

But I found the narrative forced and a little tedious.

It was fine. I'm not sad I read it but I'm not going to tell everyone else to read it.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

An engaging presentation in narrative format regarding the difficulties which stem from self-deception and the need for personal justification, blame of others, and the problems these cause. An appeal to find the humanity in others and treat others accordingly.

I will not try to unpack the entire presentation of the book because the reader will have a lot of reasons to want to try to avoid the material. It's not the most comfortable process to explore, but very beneficial to do so.

The book is presented as a narrative involving a few characters and a corporation, and the reader is invited to go with "Tom" on his journey, and, ideally, engaging in the same kind of self-reflection as "Tom" does.

The narrative gets campy at times; the self-aggrandization of the book is a bit much; the lack of personality behind the authorship seems at odds with the core message. Nevertheless, a very necessary even if uncomfortable exploration of the self so that one might live more profitably for him or herself and interact better with others.

It’s written as this extremely unbelievable, phony narrative where corporate people talk to each other and eventually motivate each other. Not at all what I want in a management strategy book: give me actionable advice and demo it’s effectiveness with data or real anecdotes, please. Don’t make me read a fictional boss’s come-to-Jesus moment where they realize THEY were the problem all along.