I think the concept of the inner child holds a great deal of merit, and I highly recognize that Bradshaw was among the very first to discuss it.

However, this particular book has not aged as gracefully as one might hope.

Some of his specific theories regarding sexuality and gender come across as rather far-fetched.

It's important to note that while the idea of the inner child is still relevant and valuable in many ways, certain aspects of Bradshaw's work may need to be reevaluated in light of modern knowledge and understanding.

Perhaps with the passage of time and the advancement of research in related fields, we can build upon the foundation he laid and develop a more comprehensive and accurate understanding of the inner child and its implications.

Nevertheless, we should still give credit to Bradshaw for his pioneering efforts in bringing this concept to the forefront of our attention.

Finally getting through my current reads - had too many at once lol.

I'd say this book was a 3.5! I really think he explained the inner child concept extremely well. He provided multiple vivid examples that people could easily relate to.

Certainly, there were some outdated psychology theories in it. However, I found his letter writing exercises and the work on individual growth and development to be truly useful.

Honestly, the last part of the book kind of lost me. Maybe it was because I just didn't completely relate to it. But overall, it was still worth it for the exercises alone. They really made me think and reflect on my own inner self and personal growth journey.

It's always interesting to explore different books and see what new perspectives and ideas they can bring. This one had its pros and cons, but the valuable exercises definitely made it a worthwhile read for me.

I'm looking forward to moving on to my next book and seeing what new knowledge and insights it will offer.

What I now understand is that when a child's development is arrested and feelings are repressed, especially those of anger and hurt, a person grows up to be an adult with an angry, hurt child within. This inner child will spontaneously contaminate the person's adult behavior.

When caretakers are untrustworthy, children develop a deep sense of distrust. The world then seems like a dangerous, hostile, and unpredictable place. So, the child must always be on guard and in control, believing that if they control everything, no one can catch them off guard and hurt them.

It is impossible to be intimate without a sense of self. How can one share oneself with another if they do not truly know who they are? And how can anyone know them if they do not know their true selves?

Like all children of alcoholic families, I was emotionally abandoned. To a child, abandonment feels like death.

The wounded inner child also contaminates adult life with a low-grade chronic depression experienced as emptiness. This depression results from the child having to adopt a false self, leaving the true self behind. The abandonment of the true self creates an empty place inside, which I've referred to as the 'hole in one’s soul' phenomenon. When a person loses their authentic self, they lose contact with their true feelings, needs, and desires. Feeling empty is a form of chronic depression, as one is constantly mourning for their true self. When our inner child is wounded, we feel empty and depressed. Life seems unreal; we are there, but not fully in it. This emptiness leads to loneliness. Because we are never our true selves, we are never truly present. And even if people admire and hang on to us, we still feel alone.

Children intuitively know that people give time to what they love. Parents shame their children by not having time for them.

Most children from dysfunctional families have been hurt the most when they were the most needy.

Grief is the healing feeling. We will heal naturally if we are just allowed to grieve.

If the adolescent is shame-based, their self-consciousness is painfully intensified.

In dysfunctional families, there is a lot of lying. The delusion and denial that surrounds the family, the false roles family members play, and hiding the unpleasant aspects of family life all necessitate lying. Lying becomes a way of life, and your inner child will find it takes real effort to unlearn.

It is very important to confront your inner child's mind-reading. The world has enough real threats without our fabricating more. Teach your inner child to check things out and give them permission to ask lots of questions.

This book initially began in a promising manner. However, as I delved further into it, it became overly preachy, which didn't quite suit my taste.

The Christian elements that the author incorporates into his techniques are extremely off-putting. It seems as if he is trying to impose his religious beliefs onto the readers through these methods.

Moreover, he places an excessive amount of faith in Freud and psychoanalysis. Many of the concepts he discusses have already been disproven. This could potentially be attributed to the fact that a great deal has changed in the field of psychology since 1992, and a significant portion of his theories are now highly outdated.

Nevertheless, there are certain good elements within this book, particularly regarding the idea of getting in touch with one's inner child. However, this is unfortunately encased within a heteronormative and cisgender perspective that lacks realism.

Furthermore, his theory on "non-physical incest" appears to minimize the experiences of actual incest victims, which I find truly deplorable. Overall, while there are some redeeming qualities, the book is marred by these significant flaws.

I usually have a strong aversion to self-help books. However, my therapist recommended this particular one to me, aiming to assist me in dealing with the continuous challenges that come with being the adult child of both an alcoholic and an enabler. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I state that this book has truly transformed my life.

The exercises presented in the book guide you through various stages of your life, step by step, with the intention of re-parenting yourself. I have never delved so profoundly into analyzing my habits and deeply ingrained patterns of thinking. I shed tears, I grieved, and ultimately, I emerged as a more empowered version of myself.

I highly recommend this book. Nevertheless, I do offer a cautionary note. Depending on the extent of trauma you endured during your childhood, you might not wish to read it alone. I spent six months reading this book while regularly visiting my therapist for check-ins. Additionally, I had an incredible support system consisting of my husband and a best friend, who were well-acquainted with my past and my aspirations for overcoming it.

This book is an extremely powerful tool that will genuinely aid you on the path to healing. The work involved is arduous and emotional, but the outcomes are truly remarkable.

I truly believe that everyone should read this book. It's not just a casual recommendation; I'm almost desperate in my plea. I need parents and children of all ages to pick up this book and immerse themselves in its pages.

This book was truly amazing and it has assisted me in numerous different ways.

As I delved into the beginning of the book, I found myself unconsciously carrying out the actions that the author requests you to do in the subsequent chapters.

It has indeed been a great help in enabling me to learn to stand my ground firmly, accept the things that have caused harm to me, establish boundaries, and embark on the path of healing, among many other things.

I believe that perhaps I would have accomplished all of this on my own at a later stage in life, but this book has motivated and pushed me to take these steps now.

And I am extremely glad that I persisted with it and did not give up.

It has truly been a life-changing experience for me, and I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is seeking personal growth and transformation.

Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw is an older yet highly relevant book (published in 1990) that delves into the realm of inner child work. Bradshaw guides readers through each developmental stage, exploring how the child self might have reacted if the needs at that particular age were unmet.

I have a deep affection for inner child work. If you have any inquiries regarding this book or inner child work in general, please do let me know.

The author firmly believes that the recovery from childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse is a gradual process, not an instantaneous event. Reading this book and engaging in the exercises will not miraculously make all your problems vanish overnight. However, he guarantees that you will uncover a charming little person within yourself. You will be able to listen to that child's anger and sadness and celebrate life with your inner child in a more joyous, creative, and playful manner.

At first glance, it might seem absurd that a little child can persist in an adult's body. But that is precisely what the author is proposing. He believes that this neglected and wounded inner child from the past is the primary source of human unhappiness. Until we reclaim and advocate for that child, he will continue to act out and taint our adult lives. Acting out, or reenacting, is one of the most destructive ways in which the wounded inner child undermines our lives.

Children growing up in dysfunctional families are taught to suppress the expression of emotions in three ways. Firstly, by not receiving a response or being mirrored, effectively not being seen. Secondly, by lacking healthy models for naming and expressing emotions. And thirdly, by actually being shamed and/or punished for expressing emotions. One of the rules in dysfunctional families is the "no feel" rule, which prevents your inner child from even recognizing what he is feeling. Another dysfunctional family rule is the "no talk" rule, which prohibits the expression of emotions. In some cases, it may mean that you can only express certain emotions. Different families have variations of their "no talk" rules.

A good fundamental read for discovering the ways the parenting you received may be effecting you today. It delves into the various phases of development, which I found quite interesting. This book is not only beneficial for those who have had abusive parents, but for anyone. After all, no parent is perfect. It provides valuable insights into how our upbringing can shape our personalities, behaviors, and relationships. By understanding these effects, we can take steps to heal and grow. Whether you are looking to improve your own parenting skills or simply gain a better understanding of yourself, this book is definitely worth a read. It offers practical advice and real-life examples that make it easy to apply the concepts to your own life.

"Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child" by John Bradshaw, originally published in 1990, is a seminal work of therapeutic self-help.

I completed this book between December 2023 and January 2024. It was an extremely challenging and difficult read, which led me to continuously postpone writing a review.

Here, in June 2024, I have finally decided that today is the day to mark this book as 'read' and rate it five stars.

I discovered John Bradshaw's work through Patrick Teahan's YouTube channel for survivors of childhood trauma. As a licensed therapist, Teahan often assigns his clients to read the first four chapters of this book as a homework assignment at the start of therapy.

Before reading "Homecoming," I read Bradshaw's other seminal work, "Healing the Shame that Binds You." Both books are incredibly difficult and emotionally challenging. I found "Homecoming" to be even more difficult for me than "Healing the Shame that Binds You."

The content of this book delves into the *dark* side - there is a significant amount of heavy material. Its healing quality is closely related to how Bradshaw's work 'normalizes' the most severe and traumatizing parental abuses.

Reading this book required a great deal of energy. Sometimes, I could only manage to read a page or two at a time and then needed a long break.

I truly appreciate authors and researchers like Bradshaw who are not afraid to address these subjects and can do so in a normalizing way.

Books have an advantage over YouTube in that they can explore deeper. The therapeutic impact of reading Bradshaw's work is far more powerful than listening to discussions about it, no matter how skilled the speakers are at presenting his ideas in a more accessible way.

I am aware that I will need to reread "Homecoming" at some point in the future. Just getting through it once felt like a major accomplishment.

I understand why it is better to read this book while in therapy, as having someone to help process the content is beneficial. Reading it alone is like climbing a mountain by oneself. While it is possible, it is much more difficult to do so without support.

Despite the challenges, I am still glad I read this book. However, it was by no means a pleasant read.

Five stars.

This book is, without a doubt, the absolute best single source Inner Child book available. Bradshaw is truly remarkable in his profound depth of compassion and his high level of insight. He makes a genuine effort to precisely define the various developmental levels of childhood, along with the traumas and losses that occur at each stage. He vividly shows us how we can liberate our Inner Children at every age, from birth all the way to adolescence. The trauma, damage, imprisonment, and loss that we experience at age 5 are distinct from those at age 15 or even from the time spent in utero.

He clearly and simply guides us step-by-step on a chronological time-line, starting from birth and progressing to adulthood. He shows us how we can safely undertake this work, how to bravely confront our fears, mourn our losses, heal our traumas, reparent our wounded Inner Children, and transition from fragmentation to integration, ultimately discovering our Wonder Child. This book truly speaks to the Soul. It is extremely thorough and complete. If I were to select just one Inner Child book, this would undoubtedly be it. It涵盖了治愈自己并开启自我实现之旅所需了解的一切。

I read it straight through the first time, carefully digesting the material but without yet engaging in any of the exercises, meditations, or reflections. (It took about 15 hours of focused reading, 5 hours a day for 3 days.)

I plan to commence re-reading it all again soon, but this time, at a much slower pace, highlighting and making notes, and of course, stopping to do the introspective work!

For example, this is the initial task to undertake on the journey, beginning at the first developmental stage of Infancy (0 - 9 months):

"I recommend that you gather all the information you can about your family system. What was happening when you were born? What sort of families did your mother and father originate from? Was your mom and/or dad an adult child? It is a good idea to write out this information as accurately as possible for each stage of development - in this case, infancy. Likely, you will experience some pain as you write. Just attempt to maintain the focus on obtaining as clear an understanding as you can about the facts of your childhood."

I went to a "Healing the Shame That Binds You" presentation by John Bradshaw back in the early seventies.

He addressed a crowd of just over a thousand people. And at times, when he was sharing stories of his personal shame scenarios, you could literally hear a pin drop.

This guy truly knows how to shed light on those dark and painful areas that we hold deep inside.

Reading his books and watching the series he had on PBS years ago has had a profound impact on my life, changing it for the better!

Thank You, John Bradshaw! His work has been a source of inspiration and healing for countless individuals.

It has helped us to face our own shame and begin the journey of recovery and self-acceptance.

His teachings have shown us that we are not alone in our struggles and that there is hope for a brighter future.

John Bradshaw's contributions to the field of psychology and personal growth are truly remarkable and will continue to touch the lives of many for years to come.