This is a book that consists of practices, meditations, and things that require more than just reading to work through.

I chose not to engage in these activities, so please take this review with a grain of salt.

I believe that there is some good and valuable wisdom within its pages, but there may also be some fluff.

I'm not entirely sure which parts fall into each category.

The author discusses child development and family dynamics in a way that sounds interesting and plausible to me, considering I don't have much knowledge about how children develop.

Currently, this book isn't really what I need.

However, it could potentially be exactly what a lot of people need, especially those who had more difficult upbringings than I did.

Perhaps they would find great value and guidance in the practices and meditations offered in this book.

It might help them to better understand their own experiences and find ways to move forward in a more positive direction.

Overall, while this book may not be for everyone, it could be a valuable resource for those who are seeking to explore and understand more about child development and family dynamics.

DNF at about 65%.

I have a great interest in the concept of the inner child and engaging in inner child work. This book presents several interesting thoughts. However, it is extremely outdated.

Particularly in its language, for instance, the author consistently uses "he" to refer to any individual, which is no longer in line with modern language usage.

Moreover, it adheres to some of Freud's psychological ideas, which may seem rather archaic in today's context.

Consequently, the reading experience is quite dry and unappealing.

Despite the interesting concepts it attempts to convey, the outdated nature of the book makes it a less than ideal choice for those seeking in-depth exploration of the inner child and related work.

Perhaps a more contemporary and accessible resource would be a better option for those interested in this fascinating area of study.

It is impossible to get close to someone who doesn't know their identity. How can one share something with someone if one doesn't really know who they are? How can someone know us if we don't even know ourselves? One way to form an identity is to recognize our limits.

Just like the borders of a country, our physical limits protect us and signal when someone is too close or trying to approach in an "inadequate" way. Our sexual limits keep us safe and comfortable. (People with weak sexual limits often have sex with those they don't desire.)

As M. Scott Peck has said, discipline is a way to reduce the suffering of life. We learn that telling the truth, postponing gratification, being honest with ourselves, and being responsible can increase the joys and pleasures of life.

The child hurt in childhood also contaminates adult life with a slight chronic depression experienced as an emptiness. Depression is the result of the child having to adopt a false self, leaving behind their true self. This abandonment of the true being is equivalent to leaving a void inside oneself. I have referred to this as the phenomenon of the "hole in the soul." When a person loses their authentic self, they lose contact with their true feelings, needs, and desires.

Instead, what they experience are the feelings required by the false self.

For example, "being nice" is a common component of the false self. A "nice woman" never expresses anger or frustration.

The loss of one's self implies a spiritual breakdown. The wonderful child is abandoned and left alone. As Alice Miller points out in For Your Own Good: it is even worse than being a survivor of a concentration camp. The prisoners of a concentration camp... inside they are free to hate their persecutors. They have the opportunity to experience their feelings, even share them with other prisoners, and that prevents them from having to give up their self.... Children do not have this opportunity. They must not hate their father.... they cannot hate him... They fear that for that reason they will no longer be loved.... Thus, children, unlike the prisoners in concentration camps, face an executioner they love.

This is an extremely useful book for my work as a counselor.

I have a great affection for the title as it encapsulates everything.

I would not recommend it to those who are currently experiencing intense distress, unless they are undergoing counseling or have someone to be with them during the intervals between reading sessions.

This is not a criticism of the book itself.

Rather, it is a recognition of how powerful its content can be.

The book delves deep into various aspects that are relevant to the field of counseling.

It offers valuable insights and practical strategies that can assist counselors in their work.

However, for those who are in a vulnerable state, the powerful messages within the book may have an overwhelming impact.

It is essential to ensure that they have the necessary support systems in place to handle the emotions and thoughts that may arise while reading.

Overall, this book is a valuable resource, but it should be used with caution and appropriate guidance.