I really enjoyed this one. A really good reminder for me to think about the ways in how I show love to my kids, and how they ask for love in their own unique ways too. Relating the love languages to discipline and how certain kids respond differently to discipline can be connected to love languages was interesting too. I think this is a great read for any parent!

I do find these love language books work within the idea that filling a love tank and knowing love languages is the be all, end all of parenting, relationships, etc. I recognize the importance and impact of love languages for sure, but realize many different things impact our lives too :)

While this book did help me discover my girls’ love languages which happen to: 1) both be the same & 2) both be different that what I had always assumed, these authors have unrealistic expectations of reality. They seem to expect that every single interaction, day in & day out, no matter what, can & should be positive & that anything less than that means you don’t love your child(ren).

My oldest child is much like me, but my second felt so different! But for the first time I'm understanding him, and this book may be the difference between a close relationship with him during these formative years, and a distant one.

This is the best parenting book I've read. In a nutshell: everyone shows love and desires love in return, but we do it in different ways. Those "ways" are called languages, and are condensed into five types. Receiving love in YOUR language fills your love tank. Kids whose love tanks are full learn better, are disciplined more easily, and manage anger more appropriately.

A great analogy for the whole thing: Someone can be screaming as loud as possible in Chinese, but if you don't speak Chinese, you're not going to understand them.

If you are already familiar with the 5 Love Languages Concept, the format and content of this book will be familiar to you. The difference here is that this book is written for parents to better understand how their children best feel loved.

Although the Love Languages books have been out for some time now, I only became acquainted with it myself a few months ago. I had been hearing about the book for many years and was finally compelled to take the test myself online to discover my own love language. I can't say that it changed my life much but I did find it interesting. This edition however, written with children in mind, shows more promise because it helps us to discover how to better express our love to those who are the most important to us outside of our spouse.

Although most of the book will not be new to those already familiar with the concepts, the chapter on discovering your child's primary love language was very useful. It not only includes helpful ideas on what to look out for, but also suggestions for different age groups. The book also includes useful chapters for single parents and on using love languages in marriage.

Most of the time I found myself agreeing with the authors on how to appropriately use the knowledge of love languages. However, I did disagree with them in a couple areas. Primarily in their assertion that when a child misbehaves it is because he/she does not feel loved. While this certainly may be the case, disobedience is rebellion... which is sin. The root of rebellion is not a lack of feeling loved but an overindulgence in the self. This is not to say that we don't lovingly discipline. Our discipline must always be characterized by love. However, we must be very careful to not confuse sin with anything. Regarding this, Chapman & Campbell rightfully point out that our discipline and guidance will be more effective when a child knows they are loved.

Overall I really enjoyed this book and believe that it can be a helpful resource in the parental toolbox. Used with an understanding of the human condition that leads to rebellion, this can be a wonderful way to build trust and assurance between you and your children so that when discipline does take place, the child is assured that it is for their well-being.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Moody Publishing in exchange for an online review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

**Update 10/19** - Still love the concepts in this book. Just finished listening to it. Applied what I re-learned to a child I’ve had a hard time lately and the change in our home!! Feeling grateful for this.

I wish I had read this book a lot sooner in my parenting journey. Perhaps it's because I am lacking in so many ways as a mom, but I had so many light bulbs going off while reading this gem. Like always, I will take some advice and leave some advice, but what I will "leave" will be little! I'm already noticing a big difference in my relationship with Carson as I've made a strong effort to use all the love languages with him (I was leaving some out entirely). I loved it.

إنتهيت من قراءة كتاب لغات الحب الخمس التي يستخدمها الأطفال

المؤلف: جاري تشامبل و روس كامبل

عدد الصفحات :2015

دار النشر وسنة النشر :مكتبة جرير 2014

تاريخ القراءة 10 مارس 2015

وقعت عيناي على هذا الكتاب أثناء تجولي في مكتبة جرير في الظهران في يناير الفائت حيث لقت انتباهي عنوان الكتاب ففتخته واخذت اتصفح فهرسه حتى اعجبت به وقررت قراءته وحقيقة لم يخب ظني في الكتاب

يتحدث الكتاب عن تصنيف لغات الحب عند الأطفال الى 5 لغات وهي
1. التلامس الجسدي
2. كلمات التوكيد
3. الوقت النوعي
4. الهدايا
5. الخدمات

اولا التلامس الجسدي
هو بإختصار استشعاى الطفل واستئناسه بأن والديه يداعبان جسده ويمسحان على شعره وينظران اليه بحنان فيعتبر الطفل بأنه محبوب لان والديه دائما ما يداعبانه

ثانيا كلمات التوكيد
هي الاطراء والمديح والتعبير عن الحب لفظيا فيعتبر الطفل بءن ابواه يحبانه اذا تلقى عاطفة لفظية منهما

ثالثا الوقت النوعي
وهو ان يبذل الوالدان وقتا مع الطفل يحس فيه بوجودهما معه من قبيل لعب الكرة او الخروج في نزهة معا فيحس الطفل بأنه محبوب يسبب مشاركة ابويه له في وقته

رابعا الهدايا
وهي الهبات والعطايا المقدمة للطفل فيحس الطفل بانه محبوب لان ايواه كثيرا مايقدامام له العابا او هدايا

خامسا الخدمات
وهي قضاء بعض الحاجات فمثلا يحس الطفل انه محبوب عندما يجد والده قام بإصلاح دراجته المتعطله او ايصاله الى لقاء اصدقاءه في عطلة نهاية الأسبوع

ثم يتطرق الكاتب الى ان لغة الحب باي من الطرق ال 5 اعلاه يجب ان لا تعبر عن حب مشروط بل يجب ان يكون حب صافي نقي
فمثلا لا اذا كانت لغة حب الطفل هي كلمات التوكيد فيجب الا تقول له احبك فقط عندما يحرز درجات عالية في المدرسة واذا كانت لغة حبه الخدمات فلا تربط اداء تلك الخدمات بشىء بل أجعلها مجردة فلا تقل له سوف اصلح درجاتك اذا احرزت علامة كاملة في الامتحان مثلا وهلم جرا من بقية التطبيقات على باقي اللغات

ويتحدث الكاتب عن مبدأ مهم وهو العقوبة والتأديب غن طريق الحب للطفل وكيفية بناء شخصيته وجعله مستقلا ويحذر من ان تعاقب الطفل بلغة حبه حيث سيكون العقاب اشد صرامة على قلب الطفل لانه يتخدث تلك اللغة
فمثلا اذا كانت لغة حب طفلك هي الوقت النوعي فمتى ما ارتكب هذا الطفل خطأ فلا تعاقبه بالابتعاد عنه او حبسه في غرفة منفردة واذا كانت لغته هي التلامس الجسدي فانك بضربه تكون قد آلمته بشكل فظبع جدا وما الى ذلك

ثم يتحدث الكاتب عن تطبيقات لغات الحب علة الحياة وفوائدها ويضع اختبارا لكيفية قياس وتحديد لغة الحب التي يتحدثها طفلك

شخصيا من خلال قرائتي للكتاب لا اجد ان الطفل يتحدث لغة واحدة بعينها بل انها اقرب للمزيج من اللغات الخمس بنسب مقسمة بينها وبالتالي سوف اختبر طفلي حتى احدد كم نسبة حديثه بكل لغة حتى اتعامل معه بنفس تلك النسبة

انصح كل اب و ام بقراءة الكتاب واعطيه خمس نجوم
والله ولي التوفيق

أخوكم
إبراهيم عواچي
10 مارس 2016
السنابس .
#البحرين_تقرأ_ألف_كتاب
#لأن_حياة_واحدة_لا_تكفي
#تربية#طفل#كندل
#تكندل_ويانا

This book, like the other "Five Languages of Love" book, takes an interesting concept that could have been detailed in a 3-5 page essay but is instead stretched miserably with vague example stories and filler recaps so they could publish an entire book. Also, the section that declared that not all women work, so they should talk to their husbands about receiving a monthly budget to buy them gifts was particularly weird.

This books casts a beautiful vision for raising children and making family relationships a little better. In other words, this book is about making society a little better ❤️

5 لغات للحب يتحدثها البشر عامة كبار وصغار
في هذا الكتاب المخصص للغات الحب عند الأطفال يستعرض الكاتب اللغات الخمسة ذاتها المشتركة بين الأطفال و الكبار من التلامس الجسدي وكلمات التوكيد والوقت النوعي والهدايا والأعمال الخدمية مع ذكر امثلة تسهل عليك معرفة لغة طفلك.
ان التحدث بلغة طفلك الأساسية يساعده على الشعور بأنه محبوب فعندما يشعر أنه محبوب يصبح خزانه الشعوري ممتلئا فيتجاوب طفلك بسهولة لتوجيهاتك فيستمع اليك وتسمع له.

لكل طفل لغة وقد يكن طفلك ثنائي اللغة او متعدد اللغات لكن الاكيد ان هناك لغة مفضلة يحبها طفلك و يجيد التحدث بها.
اكتشف لغة طفلك تعلمها تحدث بها بطلاقة وفي الوقت نفسه تحدث الغات الأربعة الأخرى لتعلم طفلك التعامل بجميع اللغات ليقدم الحب للجميع بسهولة

تذكر ان
-تتحدث لغة الطفلك ولا تتلاعب به، لاتستعمل طفلك ولاتستغل مشاعره لأغراضك الشخصية ومنافعك الذاتية.
-لا تجعل حبك له مشروطا.
-لاتجعل حبك وسيلة لرشوة الطفل أو مقايضته.
-حافظ على الخزان العاطفي ممتلي وتذكر ان تعتدل ولا تبالغ كي تحافظ على القيمة.
-الأطفال يمرون بتجارب وتتطورات تُأثر عليهم وتُغير من لغة حبهم لا تقاوم التغير ولا تحاول التثبيت.
-قد يفضل طفلك ان يستقبل الحب بلغة ويعطي الحب بلغة أخرى.
-أدب طفلك بالحب.

ذكر الكتاب امثلة للتعامل مع حالات الغضب والحزن أو مواقف الفقد ووضح دور الأهل في مساعدة الطفل على تخطي الحزن

This was fine. I'm super familiar with the love languages, so I don't really know what I thought would be different about this book. It was literally the exact same thing, just with examples pertaining to kids and then some thoughts later about how these apply to learning and discipline and so on. It did say that in kids under 5, it is impossible to tell what their love language is, so in some ways major parts of the book didn't apply to me yet since my kids are 3 & 5. It was good food for thought but nothing that will revolutionize my parenting or anything.

The concept of the five love languages is very inspiring, and it was fun to figure out which is the best way to express my love to each of my kids. Of course it’s not that simple, not that black and white: they – just like everyone else – are multilingual. The five love languages may seem oversimplified, and some examples fabricated, but the book has its merits. It’s about love after all.

I’m a strong believer in The Five Love Languages and therefore was very interested in learning my children’s love languages as they grow. However, I learned that children don’t have a primary love language until they are at least 5-8 years old as they are starting to navigate the world on their own through school, friendships, personalities, etc. As infants and toddlers, they need to see all five love languages to fill their “tank” and feel unconditionally loved. Just saying “I love you” and providing necessities like a home, food, and clothing is not enough to show your love for children. I love learning about child psychology and how we can make an impact on them so they grow into respectful people ❤️