One of the very best books I've ever read... but I can see why women hate it. It shows how women can very easily be tricked into having sex. Their minds don't work like ours. They see a guy in a purple feather boa, a pink cowboy hat, skin tight black vinyl pants and an LED readout belt, and all common sense goes out the window. I would have sex with almost any moderately attractive, compliant woman, but only because I want/have to, not because I was tricked into it.

Yeah, some of this is hard to believe, especially once some celebrities are incorporated into the mix. You get the sense that Neil Strauss is just fucking with us. When Courtney Love showed up at the door of Project Hollywood with a suitcase, I had to pull one of those moves where I set the book down and looked around the room, even though no one else was there, natch. But the underlying concepts behind pickup seem true enough. A lot of it just seems like common sense, rather than brainwashing or anything. If Neil Strauss didn't use these techniques to bang like a million women, some guy probably could have/did.

During the course of the book, Strauss a/k/a Style gets swallowed up by this community of pickup artists, to the point where his life begins to revolve around it, only to gradually become disillusioned with it and give it up for the love of one good woman. That's of course how the book ends - but I don't know if that counts as a spoiler, because it's kinda telegraphed from jump, and this is a real book, put out by Judith Regan, so it has to have some sort of pat narrative structure. If only that ending felt at all true, I'm sure women would feel way differently about this book. It would be viewed as a cautionary tale about the empty feeling brought on by having sex with more women than you can remember, when you could be having sex with the same women over and over again. Women would give this book to men to read. It would probably be required reading in college. Alas, it isn't.

So a friend of mine told me that there is a book about a guy teaching other guys how to become pickup artists... And since I like to see the fun side of things, I decided to read this book..

Yah, I know... shocker!!!

Read this book with a grain of salt though... It's hilarious how men think that sex is the only thing that matters... not that it doesn't really... but come on... you really need a guy to teach you how to pickup women??

The feminist in me just laughed my ass off reading this. It's safe to say that this book didn't last with me for long... Finished it and tossed it.

Let's pretend this did not happen. Or as the first review of the book goes: "I know I'm taking a risk by even acknowledging its existence and my familiarity with its contents." :))

People actually do this?!?!?

2.5 stars rounded down to 2 stars.

This is a long book. Way longer than it needs to be, I pretty much lost interest at the half way point.
Yes it is interesting to read about how someone who had little confidence with woman, through learning techniques from others in the "game" becomes the "number one pick-up artist". Frankly, when I was younger I could certainly have benefited from some tips - but it is very, very creepy.

Yes human nature does push some individuals to become the best in a particular area - but being a pickup artist? It's just not nice knowing there are people out there who do this and take it so seriously.

Having said that, understanding what they do and how they do it, and how they refine their skills and how at the end of the day the techniques clearly do work is amazing.

This doesn't stop the book from being far too long though.

i haven’t read this, and i won’t. i stumbled upon the name in a book about psychopathy and how relationships with psychopaths and narcissists affect the victims (“women who love psychopaths” by sandra l. brown). i thought it sounded interesting and i recognised the author’s name but couldn’t place it. so i came here to read reviews as i always do when i’m interested in any book. and to find out who the author is. DING DING. “the dirt” pops up.

when i was 14 (bear with me, i will get back my point about this book) i read strauss’s supposed “biography” of mötley crüe, semi-accurately titled, “the dirt.” the thing about the dirt is that it’s glamourised. i was changed after reading that book. and not for the better. strauss was obviously picked as the ghost writer because he can write page turners about grotesque matters, in fact he very successfully glamourises them. the dirt glorifies drugs, wrongful death, debauchery, narcissism, using other people and complete lack of care for others (and also oneself), most notably in how the band members treated women - psychopathically. for this, there is no redemption in the book, just glorification.

this book is presumably the same. it seems this is strauss’s MO. to glamourise psychopathy (ie. using people as objects, particularly women in strauss’s case). it doesn’t surprise me what he did to write this book. it doesn’t surprise me that people found this disturbing - he presumably wants that anyway. i recommend that nobody ever read this man’s writing. the best way to destroy psychopathy and narcissism is to simply ignore it. don’t feed those people anything of yourself. kind of going against my own advice there by writing this review, but i feel people should be warned. this author’s works may as well have slime dripping off them. that’s how you’ll feel after reading them- covered in the corporeal slime of his egoic glorifications of grotesquely irredeemable acts and behaviours.

As the general director Kazakhstan Ministry of Agriculture and Wildlife, I officially approve book. Here many advices on how to make many sexy times with the livestock of ample cheese producing capacity. I follow instructions and I got syphilis 30 times! Very nice!

____

I read this ravenously on a couple of days. If I am tired, books, in general, make me drift to sleep, but this one helped me to keep awake. That's a first for me. This is probably my new favourite book. I laughed out loud many, many times during this read. Either of what the crazy shit the characters pulled off, or because of Strauss' witty remarks and writing style.

For some reason, I had been unaware of Strauss' influence on pickup, and I have been purposefully avoiding this book because of my prejudice of its advocacy of "canned material" considering the tips outdated.

This is much more. Neil Strauss' The Game tells a batshit crazy story, where he, a nerdy, writer with just a handful of sexual experiences, enters the pickup-community. He proves himself to be a fast learner, rises quickly in the ranks, becomes the #1 PUA (pickup artist), innovates and shape the community, sleeps with a ton of women, pick up celebrities and live in a huge mansion in L.A designed for attracting girls.

Along the way, Strauss describes the transition of the pickup-community and how it became a massive enterprise, and of course, explaining the different methods, giving the reader a general understanding of how to do pickup.

PUAs has created a sort of science of converting strangers into short-term intimate partners. Most advice on attraction we hear is fraudulent and superficial, spoken out of ignorance or commercial reasons. Here, the ideas are put to the test and are shared within a community. Imagine a stand-up community where hundreds of comedians are collectively working on a routine, where the jokes are constantly tested in the real world, you can guarantee it will be air-tight. Now instead of getting laughs, you get sex.

The discovery of the PUAs is not only unbelievably optimistic but also liberating. The idea is that if anyone can be successful with picking up girls, and looks, money, class, race don't matter. All that matters is how you can make the girl feel. The optimistic philosophy doesn't stop there, it is embedded in the idea that social skills are not static. We've brought up with the idea that some people are introverted, some are extroverted. Most people believe that some guys just have game (confidence, charisma, extroversion, etc...), and others just don't, end of the story. PUA's prove this theory wrong.

Although what they do is not limited to routines, it was a central part of pickup in the dawn of the twentieth century. Routines give them some stability in their interaction, and the courage to approach random girls stone sober, and considering they have faith if their battle-tested routines, they appear confident and attractive. Not only do the routines make them confident, but they also seem, and I would argue, are, much more interesting than the average Joe.

The fascinating thing about this is the strong emphasis of conveying unusual, interesting thing you know to the girl and avoiding only talking about generic topics. The PUAs ound out that the best way to convey their interesting personality and knowledge is by having an interactive demonstration. Instead of saying "I'm interested in social dynamics and psychology" They make observations such as "You must be best friends, you look at each other before you laugh."

I've always cringed when I heard about prepared material for conversations. But this book changed my mind on that. Considering how effective it was.

A lot of conversation is routine anyway. I think there's no real manipulation or "fraud" in having structure. We all have "material," the difference is that the pick-up-artists have just systemized it. Pure spontaneity and improvisation would be talking in tounges. Words are pre-planned structure. Most of what we say, how we say things, etc. is a sort of imitation. Meaningful spontaneity only exists within a structure.

The book, in my estimation, had a huge impact. Not only creating a much larger awareness of pickup but in explaining all the tactics, and therefore invalidating them, pressuring the pickup-community to shift away from the routines and toward more general principles and strategies, and character development to improve improvisation.

Strauss points out the observation that the more he does pickup, the less he views the women he's talking to like people, and more like things. Talking to women has become routine, and reiterating time-tested lines and observations, time after time, day after day, and it is no longer a genuine human interaction, but some sort of act. The strange thing, Strauss points out, is that the more objectifying he is, the more women are attracted to him.

There is also an underlying psychopathic philosophy behind pickup-artistry. I think there is a subliminal goal for guys to see women as objects, as it makes them more successful. There is also an emphasis on "Live in your own reality." I think any successful pick-up-artist, has to be psychopathic to a degree. I suppose the pick-up community has accidentally discovered that women are attracted to psychopathic-behaviour traits.

Strauss points out that misogyny may be a side-effect of pickup. Considering how easy it was for them to seduce women in relationships. Strauss makes the quite bold claim that it's easier to pick up a woman that has been married for over three years than a single woman.

Although some of the tactics seem sleazy and creepy, I believe that the majority of guys who get into this stuff are not sleazebags trying to manipulate women, but they start behaving like, psychopathic narcissists because that is what they have found women respond to, at least short-term.

One of the book's central messages is the psychological difficulties that come with getting good at pickup, and how the model of short-term attraction doesn't fit the one for the long-term. Eventually, you run out of material, and then you have to rely on "being yourself." Strauss ends the book with Disney's "happily ever after" ending, having found love at last, who appreciates him not for his pickup-skills, but the nerd he really is. Nevertheless, Strauss makes it clear that he doesn't see his involvement in pickup as a failure, considering it gave him the skills to meet the woman that likes him for who he is.

Strauss wasn't a fraud. His transformation seems genuine. He signed up for salsa, starting working out, eating healthy, upgrading his looks, learned cool things, got a large social circle, travelled the world, signed up for posture-classes and singing classes. His lifestyle, his world changed entirely. This isn't merely about which opener to use. I suppose this reflects the archetypical story where the boy pushes himself on the tight-rope to impress the nearby girl, more than he otherwise would. Meaning women have a great capability to force men to grow.

I see those who have negative opinions of the book haven't read this. It's especially embarrassing when men do it, considering it's quite obvious to anyone who's read the book, to see where he is coming from. Nevertheless, I suppose it's natural for society to be attacking this community, considering most of what is taught is not applicable at larger scales.

I find it fascinating that there is a lot of interest in spirituality, especially Eastern spirituality in PUA-circles. Maybe it's because the movement blossomed in LA, but I suspect it has something to do with that these men have felt betrayed by their tradition, friends and family. They have felt like the mainstream perspective of relationship contradicts their own experiences, and so is especially open to alternative viewpoints, hence Style and Herbal tried a crazy sleeping pattern.

To summarize: Strauss tells an incredible story with beautiful writing. It contains important insights into dating, relationships and last but not least, it gives advice on how to pick up chicks. Pickup, although not without its flaws, is a beautiful art and the book has reminded me of my love for it.

In ending, I am surprised at the lack of imagination people had concerning changing up the routines. I don't think this book invalidates any of the "techniques" perhaps only making the social-robots a bit more self-conscious of being found out.

I'll just circumvent the problem by going meta ;) "Hey, have you read 'The game'? It teaches guys how to pick up chicks, one opener is 'I need a female opinion on *blah blah*' ... what do you think?"

n  “If there was anything I'd learned, it's that the man never chooses the woman. All he can do is give her an opportunity to choose him.”n

This is not a normal book read for me. I got it for my husband after he heard the author on the Howard Stern show. I will say that this is definitely a book geared for men but if you are an open minded female it is an interesting enough story that of one man’s journey from a total average boy next door struggling to get a date, into a super mac daddy to a man who learned what it meant to really connect with someone else.

The journey was full of interesting people and ideas. If you are a single male this is a great book to if nothing else get across that the more confident you are the more likely you are to attract someone of the opposite sex. Everyone knows that right, but it gives you some great ways to create an opening in a social situation. If you are creative you could probably take some ideas from this book and twist them up to your benefit.

There are some stories in the book including interactions with Scott Bayo and Tom Cruise that were incredibly interesting. The story of Mystery and the workshops he was running for men to learn how to seduce women were crazy and it was hard to believe that someone would walk around in complete peacock fashion but I’ve seen pictures since reading the book and it would seem that the portrayal him was pretty accurate. Mystery had a pretty up and down life, he was an interesting character in the book and reading about his highs and lows put an interesting spin on the story.

Guys If you might need a little extra help to figure out how to talk to girls, or what to read about someone else’s struggles and triumphs then this is probably a good start. It also has a list of books that you might want to check out on how to please a woman in bed…..just a suggestion, as well as other books on seduction if you are so inclined to delve deeper. I don’t think it will make you into a dating machine but it had some decent tips and a story is totally directed toward men.

Girls If you are single and part of the dating scene, I’d recommend reading this. Chances are some form of the game has been run on you at some point. I’m not saying to shoot down anyone that tries to run a scenario on you, but at least you would know ahead of time what you were getting into. This book might have saved me from a jerk or two back in my single days. I think that most girls will like where the story ends.


And the Moral of the story is.....

n  “Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it's a relationship, a business or a hobby.”n

I have very mixed feelings on this book. I "borrowed" a copy, because I wasn't willing to give this dirtbag my money, but this was an extremely entertaining memoir nonetheless and helped me pass time on a long trip. Of course, it's infuriating to read about men coming together to manipulate women and blaming women for the "men beg/women resist" framing around sex. I also didn't buy into the author's supposed code of ethics in which he claims to have been honest, giving women what they want, etc.

However, I took a lot of perverse joy in hearing what utter failures most of these guys turned out to be, and really, how this whole notion of PUA is just one more subculture where people are desperately trying to find a place to belong.

One of the best things about looking through the 'Giveaways' on Goodreads is discovering new
books coming out soon by authors you have read.

Neil Strauss will release his new book called "The Truth" "An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships" ....sometime soon. (hope to win it through the give-a-ways -hint-hint)


About THIS book:
It was a gift...from a successful Jewish Male friend who lived in S.F. who knew Neil Strauss. (Funny gift, I know)... But I enjoyed it more than I thought...I enjoyed it tons and tons more than I thought!

Strauss was very frank about his 'logical' methods: "Teaching men how to be more confident in 'picking up women'."
As a woman --I had to admit --I felt many of his techniques -(as much as I might have wanted to avoid them -already married at the time anyway), --were 'spot on'!

The best part of the book (all kidding aside) --was the science behind behind the techniques, and his personal 'real' life stories.

The book felt truthful -(scary to a face this truth at times), It was nice to discover I didn't think Neil Stauss was a asshole. I saw his heart!
Most, the book was very entertaining!

The book is, first and foremost, a personal account of one man getting together with other men who want to pick up girls. It is also a window into the male unconscious. And it also describes a disease of our age: wanting to have everything the easy way. In this way, it is also a very powerful moral treatise.

It is a non-fiction book with a simple narrative structure, a light tone and some particularly funny moments, which helps to emphasize the author's point of view. This is one book I would recommend to anyone. It is bound to provoke interesting conversations.

Oi vey. This was also read for work research, and after reading one section of it, where he's *literally writing the book while having sex with some anonymous lady*, I put it aside and hoped it would go away. But it didn't, and reading the whole thing through turned out to be much more entertaining and interesting than I would have thought. I'll give him credit - it's a page turner, though at times it's both gross and offensive. But then again, so can be men and male culture, and that's exactly what he's inhabiting to an extreme degree here.
The most interesting parts to me were 1) the name dropping and cross-references to other points in pop culture at the time, namely the appearance and presence of Courtney Love throughout the novel, who comes off like the most brilliant film character ever, even though it's a book and she is, in theory, real. And, 2) the special parts of the book where Strauss consciously questions the motives, ethics, and patheticish nature of the PUA community. I say that with respect, since he also very much time and time again talks about one of the biggest motivating factors for the dudes seeking out these communities being that they want to escape being meek and feeling powerless, that they cannot wrest free of the view of themselves that persists as geeky and terrified of women. It's like they're all being held hostage by their high school selves. And not that those are excuses, but they did give me a sense of sympathy that wouldn't have been there otherwise. Also, it helps that Strauss is a really entertaining and empathetic writer. He does a great job of talking about the disappearance of his identity and the growth of Style, his PUA alter ego, and the effect it has to watch the apprentices turning his "moves" into patented, mechanical actions devoid of meaning in how impersonal they are.
The story is Strauss's but the concurrent story of Mystery, a peacocking depressive from the midwest who is obsessed with becoming a polyamorous magician and manages to look a little David Blaine-y, in the worst ways possible. Through the book we see Mystery as one of the most revered PUAs around, admired by worshipping guys throughout the internets and in-person, once they develop a house solely for the PUA community world in Los Angeles. But he doesn't have the tools to thrive in his success, and so instead, through Strauss's eyes, we see a human misery time-bomb. Also, I really felt that making the story as much about Mystery as his own experience, Strauss allowed himself the comfort of distance, of not being dissected too closely. He loses points for that.
Anyhoo. It's a fascinating book to think about in terms of games, seduction, and human motivation. Looking at what the PUA community has turned into nowadays, or at least what's available online, is hilarious, especially the San Francisco contingent.

The Game tells the story of a much-maligned subculture- one which sees keyboard warriors don feather boas, light-up tshirts, and platform shoes, while delivering corny lines, all in order to seduce a woman.

Meet Style, a journalist who goes undercover into the pick-up artist community, ending up so immersed in the subculture that it becomes his identity. He changes everything from his hairstyle to his walk and even his conversation, all just so he could get some action.

The funny thing is, I know one or two people who have actually bought this book and even draw inspiration from it. Just yesterday a friend was seriously telling me that he learned how to talk to girls thanks to this book.

Sigh. Where to start?

OK, let me start with the most distasteful bit- negging. This basically takes advantage of the fact that even the most beautiful women can be insecure. The pick up artist subtly insults the girl (but not so much that she's repelled) and doesn't pay all that much attention to her until right before he 'closes.' This brings me to the second distasteful part- the lingo. Women are not women or even chicks, they're 'targets' and rated out of 10. The lines used to ensnare them are practised over and over again, until they become routine- so routine that sometimes the pick up artist can't even remember what he said.

Naturally these aren't exactly relationships built for the long term- the second these women attempt to get into a relationship, they discover that these so called smooth, suave men are just a bunch of whiney crybabies. And then most of them hotfoot it out of there while the heroes cry into the carpet,check themselves into mental institutions and wonder why they can't find wife material.

It was like a trainwreck. I was horrified and fascinated- enough to keep reading until the end of the book. So I suppose it has that going for it- it's reasonably fast-paced and readable (it better be, the guy's a writer).

Of course, this book was written in the early 2000s, when people had the spare time to spend thousands of dollars on workshops on how to talk to women.

The reason I gave it a low rating though is because people are still using it as a manual on how to talk to women. And that's a pretty frightening thought- because this messed up system actually works. Many of the kind of women these guys target have low self esteem and are easy pickings. The end result, even coming from a pick up artist himself, isn't pretty. Most of these girls are tossed aside like trash, easily forgotten or exchanged.

Not to mention that these guys willingly trade in any shred of personality to become a walking, talking automaton, just to get a girl.

UGH. Just ugh.