This was a very gentle and slow paced novel which took me quite a while to relax into but I'm glad I stuck with it. Having heard great things about Anne Tyler I read one of her books earlier this year and was left feeling somewhat disappointed, so I was hopeful this would be the novel to convert me as a fan.

Digging to America fit the bill perfectly for the Q4 challenge which required me to read a book about the start of something. In fact this book was about many beginnings. We initially meet all the main characters at the International airport where two families await the arrival of their adopted daughters from Korea. Not only was this the start of two families united with their baby daughters for the very first time, but it was also the beginning of a strong friendship between the two families and the beginning of a new annual tradition where, together with their extended families, they celebrated Arrival Day. Set over a period of approximately seven years this book focussed on the big and small dramas that unfold in the lives of family and friends. The fact one of the families was Iranian and the other American introduced some interesting cultural elements and opened my eyes to some of the social and other difficulties experienced by people living in foreign lands.

I doubt if I'll ever consider myself a true Anne Tyler fan but this story has made me feel I'd go back for more. Despite having to push myself to keep reading when I was one third of the way through, by the end I was greedily turning the pages and was sorry when it came to an end.

Man, once I start an Anne Tyler book, it seems like the next thing I know, I'm done. Her voice is so effortless and smooth I don't even feel like I'm reading.

Maryam Yazdan's 30+ year, sometimes grudging journey to become American, even as the novel is ostensibly about two baby girls from Korea adopted by two families in the Baltimore area, captures something really special. As has happened millions of times in the nation's history, each person changes America just as America changes them.

Este es el primer libro que leo de Anne Tyler, autora muy popular en Estados Unidos, que recibió el premio Pulitzer en 1989. Suele escribir sobre relaciones familiares y es autora de libros conocidos como 'El turista accidental'.

'Propios y extraños' trata sobre dos familias americanas que adoptan simultáneamente a dos niñas coreanas, lo que hace que se forme un vinculo entre ellos que se mantendrá a lo largo de los años. Una de las familias es de origen iraní, con lo cual la multiculturalidad parece que vaya a ser clave en el relato. Me interesaba el tema, así como lo que supone para un niño crecer en una cultura que no es la suya y cómo la familia adoptiva afronta los retos que se presentan.

Desafortunadamente, ninguno de estos temas se ha tratado apenas, la autora se limita a llenar páginas de sucesos y anécdotas sin interés y los personajes no están bien dibujados. La historia carece de profundidad, y para mí, de sentido.

No le doy una estrella porque algunas partes pueden llegar a ser entretenidas, ciertamente es una escritora con oficio, pero siempre dentro de una narración fácil y llena de clichés.

3.5 stars? Maybe more, depending on the day?

Book clubs are all about getting us to read outside our comfort zones (at least that's what I'm looking for in a club). I think I've only read one of Tyler's novels before and although I do have another of her books on my TBR, I probably wouldn't have chosen this one. I've had it out of the library for quite a while and was shocked when I checked it and found that it has been requested. No more renewals for me!

I was curious why Tyler chose to write about Iranian immigrants, so off to Wikipedia I went. She was married to an Iranian and obviously they discussed his immigrant experience in detail. She writes this novel like it was her own experience. The feeling of never fitting in, never knowing the “rules" of being American, and the American people who seem to want to become more Iranian than you are. It must be tiresome to be constantly regarded as “exotic," never just an ordinary citizen. I really felt for Maryam, who technically had an arranged marriage, but if anyone bothered to listen to her, they would realize that she and her husband actually chose each other. Sometimes blind dates actually work.

There are so many books about feeling like you don't belong, that the main character is somehow excluded from the magic circle that they perceive around everyone else. But don't we all have these feelings from time to time? Especially those of us who are introverts in a world seemingly dominated by extroverts. I think that's why these books are popular, because we all can identify. And, as Dave tells us, it's not easy being American (or Canadian) either. Are you unintentionally offending someone? Are your manners up to par? Are you uneducated or insensitive? We all have our insecurities.

This morning, I heard Iranian poet Kaveh Akbar reading from his poem The Palace and it really moved me. It inspired me to pick this novel back up and finish it. Below, I'm sharing part of the poem that really resonated in me.

A boy’s shirt says: “We Did It To Hiroshima, We Can Do It To Tehran!”
He is asked to turn his shirt inside out. He is asked? His insides, out. After he complies, his parents sue the school district.
Our souls want to knowhow they were made, what is owed.
These parents want their boy to want to melt my family, and I live among them.
Palace throne. Comfy, burning. I draw it without lifting my pen. I draw it fat as creation—
empty as a footprint.
How to live? reading poems, breathing shallow, spinning lettuce.
America the shallow breath, how to live?
The shallow trap, America catching
only what is too small to eat.

“An American man, naïve and complacent and oblivious, convinced that his way was the only way and that he had every right to rearrange her life. She had melted the instant he said, “Come in,” even though she knew full well that inclusion was only a myth. And why? Because she had believed that she could make a difference in his life.”

I love a good character study and so inevitably I absolutely loved this book. This is a true testament to quality vs. quantity. Although it really is a short book, it’s extremely deep and rich within the characters, their environment and their very essence. On the surface, this is the story of two families. The Dickenson-Donaldson’s are a middle aged American couple. The Yazdans are an Iranian couple. Both families meet at the airport upon the arrival of their Korean adopted daughters. Both families find a bond through their Korean born adopted daughters. Over the years they form a friendship, including their extended families, that intertwines.
Below the surface, there is a complete other story that takes place. The story of foreign peoples (native and American born) longing to fit in and belong to a place so superficial and pretentious beyond its own reality. The Yazdans struggle with wanting to fit into American society but yet, not lose their heritage. They seem to fight to hold on to their individuality amongst the pretentiousness around them. The Dickenson-Donaldson’s seem to be an almost embodiment of America. So many cultures and heritages they attempt to be so politically correct that they grasp on to a piece of them all in an attempt to change them and make them their own. The author hit the nail on the head in regards to the American pretentious spirit. (I’m American so I’m not bashing, it’s just a fact. It’s what we do.) The way of life and thinking that our way is the best and the only way seems to be illuminated. The idea that there is a constant struggle for those on the so called inside as well as the outside to fit into a reality that technically does not exist. Our countries talk of freedom and originality in the midst of this so called prototype that people fight to fit into. In the end at times there is a degree of acceptance but at what cost. So many points of discussion and conversation in this small book. I love that the author caused us to think.

I really enjoyed the characters in this novel it was interesting to read about families emigrating to America and how it affected them differently. The adopted girls and their different personalities, the families getting to know each other was insightful and thought provoking. It started to wain towards the end and became a bit mundane but I still enjoyed it.

مهاجرت، غربت، فرهنگ، زبان، تنهایی، خانواده و زندگی.. همه این موارد در این کتاب بارها و بارها از فکر تک تک شخصیت ها میگذرد.. فکر کردنی که ناگزیر به انجام آن هستید.
بارها خودم را به جای مریم تصور کردم و احساس کردم اگر روندِ زندگیم اینگونه می شد حتما زنِ میانسالی همچون مریم می شدم.. با همان خصوصیات و ضرافت ها.. حتی اندکی هم برای اتفاقِ در پایانِ کتاب ذوق و شوق داشتم آنقدر که مریم بودم..
حداقل برایِ من، داستان خیلی روندِ تکراری و قابل پیش بینی ای داشت، شاید برای آمریکایی ها رمانی راجع به یک خانواده ایرانی که سال هاست در آمریکان و رابطه نزدیکشون با یک خانواده آمریکایی، جذاب باشه.

I'm always amazed how Ann Tyler can write such riveting stories where not all that much happens. It's all about the characters and "Digging To America" is no exception.

It follows the intertwined lives of two couples who meet at the Baltimore Airport when picking up their adopted Korean daughters. Bitsy and Brad are white upper-class Americans, while Sami and Ziba are Iranian-Americans. Their friendship spans their daughters' childhood.

What I really enjoyed about this book is the insight about infertility and adoption, which has been called everyone's second choice. We see how hard the couples tried to conceive and how adoption turned out to be different than they expected. (Ziba weeps uncontrolably one night as her daughter sleeps, wondering "Where is my own baby?")

Probably 2.5 stars, but still.... this wandered rather pointlessly for very long stretches, and in places nearly drove me mad. (At one point in the story, if I had to hear the word "binky" one more time, I swear I would have screamed.) That said, Maryam was a wonderfully well-drawn, charismatic character to me.

I found Digging to America a sweet, compassionate tale of mothers and their love for families…their own families and the families around them. Starting off with the adoption of two Asian girls by two different Baltimore families, Tyler does a great job of combining cultural experiences with those of family and life experiences. Not only the Asian culture is touched upon in this book…one of the families who adopts a child is Iranian. Both adopting families mesh well, with cultural differences sometimes clashing and sometimes not. Tyler is always astute in character development and here is no exception. She expertly crafts each member of the family in their own unique way…giving each member their own due (even it’s a minor character). For the major players, Tyler really allows the reader to embody each…we get into their souls and get to know the whats and whys behind their behavior. A fabulous book by a fabulous author.

This novel is so layered, tender, and lovely (the ending in particular made me emotional). The topics of belonging, home, and community are deeply explored in such profound ways. There are few authors out there who write character development as well as Anne Tyler does. I love her, and I love reading her backlist titles like this one.

I loved this book. I still laugh thinking about the "binky party".