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This is the late essayist and NPR (This American Life) contributor’s first book. Two more followed in his too short life-span—he died in 2012 at 47. The cause was his second battle with cancer. A recounting of the first, when he was in his young 20s, closes this collection. A posthumous verse-novel has since been published to strong praise. The buzz for the novel and my own optimistic compulsion to begin at the beginning, assuming a good thing would only get better, led me to start with this volume of his essays, a vacation e-book purchase, but I was underwhelmed and I found nothing very much interesting here, mostly travel essays and a David Sedaris-like essay about posing as Freud for a clothing store’s holiday window display.
They say he got better and to the degree that order of appearance in the book represents chronology of origin there is reason to believe that. Three of the four final essays were the most interesting. An essay about Austrian math and science teachers imported into the New York City public school system, a return visit to Tokyo a number of years after his first post-college trip had been cut short by illness (his first cancer), and an essay written when he’d thought he was long clear of cancer and was thus a mature man’s attempt at closure via a trip to Toronto to track down his pre-chemo sperm deposit.
That essay was hard to read, particularly because at the start he discusses downplaying his bout with cancer, calling it “dilettante cancer,” partly because he feels guilty about being young and healthy again and partly because he had some denial about the seriousness of the illness, despite the chemo and its brutal side-effects. With the illness comfortably in his rear-view mirror he is ready to confront the reality of his experience, hence the visit to “his Eskimo Pie children.” The unintentional irony clouds the reading. The distraction of the irony, however, is about me, not him. And the irony is not serious, the cancer is. And even two seconds of thought makes you understand that it’s better that he thought he was done with cancer than expecting a sudden relapse every moment going forward, I found myself feeling as I read like someone in a movie theater wanting to yell at a character that Jason is right behind you. Stop talking and run! But the fool was me, not him, and I got through the essay thinking about what he likely did write in response to cancer’s return visit to him—how that would be sharp, funny, and likely courageous. It made me think that if I were to try another book by Rakoff it would be his third collection, Don’t Get Too Comfortable. In any event, this first collection was the wrong place for me to begin my reading relationship with the author.
They say he got better and to the degree that order of appearance in the book represents chronology of origin there is reason to believe that. Three of the four final essays were the most interesting. An essay about Austrian math and science teachers imported into the New York City public school system, a return visit to Tokyo a number of years after his first post-college trip had been cut short by illness (his first cancer), and an essay written when he’d thought he was long clear of cancer and was thus a mature man’s attempt at closure via a trip to Toronto to track down his pre-chemo sperm deposit.
That essay was hard to read, particularly because at the start he discusses downplaying his bout with cancer, calling it “dilettante cancer,” partly because he feels guilty about being young and healthy again and partly because he had some denial about the seriousness of the illness, despite the chemo and its brutal side-effects. With the illness comfortably in his rear-view mirror he is ready to confront the reality of his experience, hence the visit to “his Eskimo Pie children.” The unintentional irony clouds the reading. The distraction of the irony, however, is about me, not him. And the irony is not serious, the cancer is. And even two seconds of thought makes you understand that it’s better that he thought he was done with cancer than expecting a sudden relapse every moment going forward, I found myself feeling as I read like someone in a movie theater wanting to yell at a character that Jason is right behind you. Stop talking and run! But the fool was me, not him, and I got through the essay thinking about what he likely did write in response to cancer’s return visit to him—how that would be sharp, funny, and likely courageous. It made me think that if I were to try another book by Rakoff it would be his third collection, Don’t Get Too Comfortable. In any event, this first collection was the wrong place for me to begin my reading relationship with the author.