"People with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of mortal nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to other, more instantly negotiable virtues. The measure of its slipping prestige is that one tends to think of it only in connection with homely children and United States senators who have been defeated, preferably in the primary, for reelection. Nonetheless, character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs."

"To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we are the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. "

'To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which, for better or for worse, constitutes self-respect, is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. (...) If we do not respect ourselves, (...) we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out (...) their false notions of us.'

Read for school. It was kind of racist and I felt like she was just making the same point over and over again without saying anything new.

Even if she wasn’t racist this essay still wouldn’t have been very profound.

An icon. We have no chance but to stan.

This can’t be what y’all are praising. This made me lose self respect. Racist white women will write the most juvenile shit and y’all will write theories on it -.-

"To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything : the ability to discriminate, the ability to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of love or indifference."

kinda wish I read this sooner

A lot to digest.. will be getting slouching toward Bethlehem soon

Thought I'd read this since I've seen in popping up in aesthetic collages on Pinterest

2.5 stars, might lower or round down.

I have mixed thoughts and feelings.

First of all, this line: "However long we postpone it, we eventually lie down alone in that notoriously un- comfortable bed, the one we make ourselves." - absolutely amazing. I love how dramatic writers are. Like genuinely this is why I read.

But conceptually it fell a little flat for me. There is a sort of sort of superficial cohesiveness and efficiency to her writing here. It has that authoritative voice that works so well for her, but here it seems to be not much more than a sheen on what I what I find to be conceptually messy.

It's also pretty racist, 'Indians are always hostile, will always be hostile' etc...


So I read this 3 times to try and really get what she's saying here. I do have a headache that's been making it hard to focus, but I also find this to be almost riddle-like at times and strangely organized.

This is my rough summation/organization of ideas.

- Self-respect is to realize your flaws and to accept them as part of your self (as opposed to always justifying your behavior by blaming external circumstance).

-she argues to have the 'courage of your mistakes', meaning accept unfavorable outcomes of your mistakes. So if you're an adulterer, don't run to the couple you've hurt for absolution and don't complain about of being embarrassed.

- She notes initially that self-respect isn't a magic shield to avoid trouble, although later notes that having it should stop you from replaying mistakes over again in your head and from becoming a soul-less people pleaser.

Interesting to note is that her conception of self-respect is entirely a reflective, retrospective thing.

-she brings up character but really didn't have to, since she then goes on to use it and define it synonymously with how she's described self-respect.

- the last paragraphs really lost me, mostly because I don't understand the examples and references? But to me it felt like the start of this paragraph entirely contradicted the end?

After spending time abroad and moving around most of my life, Didion's ending in this essay hit home in more than one way. To stay put is to accept oneself and one's lot in life. If you can do this, than like she mentions, you can own your mistakes and not try to get away from them. Also, what more do we have than our own history which is undeniably tied to where we were born and were we grew up that makes us who we are i.e. one's character.

Didion was just rejected by Phi Beta Kappa and this was a way for her to run to something. To get a sense of worth from an external source. But when she was not accepted she had to develop a belief that she still has value even though she didn't get what she values or what was expected of her or what she felt culturally would make her more respected.

I think most people live in this area. Achieving some goal and feeling accomplished or failing and dooming themselves to a life of missing their aim and self pity. Didion takes it all a step further and says that by failing she realized that she had to make due with who she truly is.

To conclude, it seems to be about knowing the odds and venturing a bet. Yet there is still some insight I feel needs flushed out. How did she fail and come out with more self-respect? How did failing free her and give her a sense of an intrinsic sense of self-worth?

I am looking for more insight if anyone wants to comment :D

Put it on the entry door of every classroom.

unreal