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We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive

laurie notaro

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She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking.

Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.

223 pages, Paperback

First published April 19,2005

This edition

Format
223 pages, Paperback
Published
April 19, 2005 by Villard
ISBN
9780812969016
ASIN
0812969014
Language
English

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laurie notaro

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Community Reviews

Rating(4 / 5.0, 100 votes)
5 stars
27(27%)
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44(44%)
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29(29%)
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100 reviews All reviews
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OtakuGoneWild
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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"Oh, my god, Laurie. You're so funny. Ha ha ha, oh, Laurie. You should write a book."

This author's friends/family/random strangers on the bus need to stop telling her she's funny. It's given her the false idea that she is funny. Maybe if everyone stops lying to her, she'll stop.
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Erdogank
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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There are 3 choices here... either this author is not funny, she had a tight deadline, or my life is WAY funnier than I thought! As others have said, her writing seemed very forced. Comedy is best when expressed in an effortless manner. I always try to push through frustrations with books, but could only reach ~page 120 in this one.
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Hazbyn
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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Laurie Notaro cracks me up. Seriously, the girl is just funny and is again in this collection. OK, some of her stories hit home with me better than others, but all are quality. I particularly enjoy her exploits with online medical sites and stories on her relationship with her family. She tends to not have an edit button between her thoughts and her mouth, which gets her into trouble and also makes for some interesting tales.
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Woolskull
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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LOL funny in parts! The first few chapters of this book are seriously funny - I laughed and couldn't stop. Then, unfortunately, I got bored. Could barely get to the end (and I have to finish every book I start).
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Crepe452209
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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I know, doesn't seem Like my stereotypical book right? But really when am I ever stereotypical? Other than my collection of cats and Ani DiFranco albums. Then again my mind needs a nice easy read now and then. I have to admit most female humor writers drive me insane. Too whiny & annoying about all the problems that beget us women. (I have no idea why so many hoo-has are crying these days but maybe a case study should be done).

Notaro, however is like the domesticated Chelsea Handler. Which I will say I am a bit jealous that Chelsea and Co. get to say all the crude inappropriate things that I do but get paid millions to do so. Shite. There goes MY crying hoo-ha....

Digressing, Notaro has a natural flair for telling stories that I love. Bc comedy is everywhere in everyday life but only so many people can see that with the ability to point it out for the everyman. That being said sometimes we say such things in offensive ways... fine, fine, fine... I ALWAYS say things in an offensive manner.

Regardless, I love how she writes and how quickly you breeze through her books. And the fact that she writes about my old Tempe/Phoenix stomping grounds doesn't hurt either. Play on Notaro, play on... though now that she's moved to Portland I expect some epic tales of ass expansion from 3 a.m. trips to Voodoo Donuts and singing karaoke with trannies at Suki's... Or maybe those are my tales to tell...
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Xyik
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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For an author that "may be the funniest writer in this solar system," I was completely disappointed. I found it mildly amusing at best. I really liked one essay; Several others became so tiresome I skipped them altogether. Odd name dropping in the form of insults, super over-exaggerations...maybe she tries too hard; maybe I'm just hard to please. I have her first book here, so I'll give her another chance.
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Julie1234
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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In this collection of humorous (and often downright hysterical) autobiographical essays, Notaro recounts episodes from her life with blunt honesty and hilarious commentary. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I did get a real kick out of her correlation between her diets and the reappearance of popcorn chicken at KFC. I laughed out loud many many times at this book, and now I'm going to be poor because I need to go out and find the rest of her books. If you like David Sedaris, you'll probably like Laurie Notaro. Very funny.
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I_am_a_Dorito
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
April 26,2025
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For the reviewer that complained that Laurie always went just a little too far - that's the point! It's not that she wrote this to shock people, she actually lives this way. Her mouth doesn't have a good filter for what is appropriate at the time. This is very entertaining for the rest of us.
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