I gave this sorry piece of literature two stars on amazon because I was feeling generous, but that moment has passed.
If this chick can get a book deal, then so can I. I kept reading because I am a hopeless optimist. Honestly, I lie. I kept reading because I hate to give up on anything. The book did have a few funny parts, but it seemed like an overblown exaggeration by a slacker who can't hold down a real job. We learn early on that she thinks hippies are dirty, but she goes on to describe her dreadlocks, being fired from jobs, not cleaning house, & working somewhere that a bra was not required.
Uhhhmmm....
Sounds suspiciously like a dirty hippie to me.
I found the jokes about her weight, Alzheimer's, & cancer to be appalling. Perhaps I'm just too old & mature to be reading satire. This book left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't recommend it, even if you run across it in a free bin at your local library.

There were more 'fat' stories than bride stories.

Many stories were nothing more than mundane journal entries. Others had flat story lines with no merit whatsoever. And the majority had the same structure: painting the picture of an outrageous outcome, going backward in time to elucidate how things unfolded up to that point, then back to the outrageous outcome and more details about why it's outrageous even though it's not really a big deal.

I liked Laurie's style, I saw great potential in it. However, I think the editor totally failed her in this book. I believe that some good editing would have elevated this book to its full potential.

There were moments when it made me laugh out loud; definitely a beach read, and good for distraction, but nothing much more than that.

Il titolo è la cosa meno azzeccata del mondo. ma vabbè.
È piuttosto carino e divertente, anche se alcuni riferimenti non li ho capiti e a volte il ritorno su certi temi mi ha un po' stufato.
Ottimo per una seratina in cui non si ha voglia di pensare molto e di ritrovare quelle situazioni imbarazzanti che ci hanno colpite tutte.

I don't remember it...but I barely made it into the second chapter which is really bad for me! I have a problem with hope. I always think "maybe this will be the novel that finally surprises me by getting rolling after a few chapters!". I can't remember any that actually came through for me.

I picked this book up, since the library didn't carry her other book my book club had picked to read, I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies). The book seemed like it took a little bit for her to hit her stride, but by the end I was laughing out loud. she seemed similar to David Sedaris, except female, straight, and married.

This book, while funny, was a let down. If you are looking for an autobiography that will make you contemplate your own life, or gain inspiration then this is NOT the book for you. Also, the book did not flow well. It seemed to be a completely random account of various life events with no purpose. Overall, I'd rate the book with 2 1/2 stars, but there is no half star on this site and giving this book 3 stars would be unthinkable.

Excerpt:
(preparation for y2k and the possibility of starving to death): Much like a bear, I had been getting ready for ahile. There was enough stored fat in my thighes to sustain me for two months each, and I had calculated that I could last through an entire winter season off my ass alone, which had gotten so large it had begun to touch the base of my neck. In my opinion it was survival of the fattest.

I really want to love Laurie Notaro. I was so impressed with her first book that I went out and bought all her others. But they've all left me bored and not as hilarious and engrossing as her first book. It took me over a month to read this very simple book just because whenever is think about reading it, I'd come up with other things to do instead.

This is the type of book I've been looking for! Recommended by a bookcrosser at a meetup, I went out and bought it the next day. Notaro's hilarious autobiography is broken into 1 1/2 - 3 page essays that I can read a bit at a time. I've been needing a book that I can pick up and put down when I can find a minute here and there to read.

Laurie Notaro's stories are about mundane daily occurrences that normal adults seemed buried in and would hardly take the time to discuss, but she turns them into outrageously funny stories. I found myself relating to her totally, even telling people some of her stories as if she were a friend, like, "Did you know that if you flush your tampons.....?" "I heard that a cat could 'just slip away' if given anesthesia for a teeth-cleaning..."

People say that you either love or hate Notaro's writing. I disagree--her stories are hit or miss with me; I'm not passionate about her either way. This particular book gets old/irritating if you read it at once as an autobiography since the topics are all over the place and she repeats some information several times as if each little chapter or essay were written at completely different times. When reading only one essay in a sitting or in random order, that feeling of being at a comedy act that I had when I read the first few chapters comes back.

If read front to back, the chapters after the wedding really dragged and I almost released it without finishing it. Don't be fooled! It gets much better starting with "Red Mice."

My favorites--the ones that had me laughing hysterically all by myself at the park (I had to close the book and hold my stomach as I was rolled over in a fit of laughter)and ones that were worth reading aloud to friends:

"White noise, white soap....." (I read this to my friend two days before her wedding)
"As time goes by"
"My mother, my self, my god" (the best)

I just hated this book. It seemed like the author just sat down and said "I am going to write a funny, self-deprecating book" and then used that "humor" as a club to beat the reader with on every page. It's a 257 page definition of "trying too hard."

This may just be me nit-picking about semantics, but the constant "And then I said, 'Blah blah blah whatever I said!'" to his parents at Christmas dinner, and no you did not. There is no possible way that the author is going through life literally verbalizing the things that she places within quotation marks to everyone that she meets. I realize that that particular method of writing is kind of a staple of stand up comedy, and if this had been directly labelled as humor I might have been more willing to let it slide, but it's considered a memoir. To me, there's sometimes humor and subtlety in the gap between what you want to say to the cashier at Home Depot and what you actually say out of a sense of social appropriateness. And yet. Nearly every single page brought another outrageous "quote." Trying. Too. Hard.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Where to begin?

First, let's start with the title. Based off of it, I assumed this was a memoir. It wasn't. It was a collection of short vignettes that, I think, were supposed to be funny.

They weren't.

A more realistic title for this would have been: Things That Were Never Said or Done in the History of Ever. Because I've read some of these stories before. And they weren't by the author, and they were before this was published. So, no, not buying that most of this ever happened.

I listened to the audiobook version of this which is probably the only reason I finished it. I found myself fantasizing about conversations the narrator might be having with her producer and agent regarding the possibility of hazard pay for having to suffer through verbalizing this abomination.

Now that is something I could believe actually happened.

1 out of 5 stars