There is a lot of information in this book - difficult to take it all in in one reading. I will definitely have to revisit it again. The exercises are meant for 8-13 year olds, so my child is too young to try this out on now. However, I will be trying to work on some of it myself, so hopefully this modelling will help him pick up more optimistic habits (assuming I can pick up the habits myself)

I bought this book to get some ideas on how to help one of my children have a more positive outlook on life. I thought Seligman did a good job presenting how he developed his program for developing resilience and a positive outlook. It seems like it would be a great program to use in schools, etc; the question is how to do these exercises with a child in a manner that would seem natural...?

I liked this book. I think there is great power in the way we look at things, how we talk to ourselves, etc. However, I do feel that the blame for failure cannot always be passed onto others, just so we can remain optimistic. Sometimes we do "fail", but the point is to get back up and try again, knowing that eventually we can succeed.

3.5 stars ⭐️ I listened to the audio book. It was good. But I think a paper version would of been better with all the questioners and little quizzes.
I did think the book very interesting. I tend to be more pessimistic and realized I need to work on being optimistic and helping my kids with seeing the bright side of things. It had different techniques on how to help with changing those thoughts and behaviors.

The author repeats his findings about optimism and it became mind-numbing after a while. I found myself saying out loud while reading the first half of the book: "I get it. I GET it!!"

I stopped reading this book halfway through, when the book asks you to spend time practicing optimism yourself, then practicing optimism with your children. Time went by, and I forgot I had it on my shelf. I finally finished it. The target age for this book is school children and my children are rather young (4 years old and 15 months). So I rated it a 3 partly because I can't gauge for myself how beneficial it would be for older kids. The chapter on optimism for toddlers and preschoolers (which is at the end) isn't as accurate or steeped in scholarship as is most of the book. For instance, the author says that "punishment" can have value when he clearly his talking about "discipline." Understanding the difference between the two is a basic concept in early childhood development.

Ultimately, I'm extremely happy I read this book. As much as I was annoyed by the repetition, the concepts have stayed in my sleep-deprived brain -- probably due to the fact I reread them a zillion times. I liked how the author broke down the concepts of optimism into concrete strands. I can now pick up when I hear people straying into pessimistic thinking, and I am very aware about how I characterize situations with my older daughter. Now I try to be careful to avoid pessimistic mind traps when I'm helping her deconstruct a frustrating situation (it helps I'm optimistic by nature). I will keep this on my shelf as a reference when my daughters get older and experience more conflict with friends.

extremely practical and useful for all parents

I really loved this book. It is chalk full if a wide breadth of research covering a variety of ages. The messages are good for parents, educators, and all those who work with children. It isn't a quick read but rather one that you need to take bit by bit and really reflect the teachings to get the most out of it. As a parent and one that works with adolescents the principles are invaluable.

I could tell this was written by a researcher and not a natural writer… however the information provided was impressive. Great insight into childhood depression and skills that help children and adults change their negative self talk into positive and helpful thoughts. He even provides “mini lessons” you can do with yourself and/or child to build these skills. Target age 8-15 years old, but can be adapted for older or younger.

Apparently the author, Martin Seligman, is sort of the authority on this subject. I've heard his name come up now and again in reference to the subject. There is an adult version called Learned Optimism. I initially picked this up to help my daughter, a pretty smart kid, who was going through a bit of a pessimistic streak, but I knew I needed it as well. And I benefited from it a lot, but I've tried to pass on some of the principles to her. What I like best about Seligman is the optimism he teaches isn't a fake, inaccurate view of the world and self optimism, but what he calls "accurate optimism", one that weighs both the positive and negative, and seeks to accentuate the positive while still being realistic about world and self.

The book begins by decrying the "self esteem movement" that started in the 60s and very much alive today and jumps into the fact that "feeling good" and "doing well" must be tied to reality. Our kids gain confidence and improved self concept eventually are based on realities about themselves, not just the nice things we say -- tied to their "commerce with the world." It goes into depth about depression and different strategies for adults and children to deal with it using different cognitive strategies that must be practiced. He's always open to the fact that some need medication to cope with severe depression, but believes that for many it can be avoided through practiced cognitive strategies.

I could go on, but overall great book I'd recommend. I'm sure his Learned Optimism is excellent as well.

كتاب جميل جداً رغم أنه لم يطرح فكرة جوهرية جديدة بالنسبة لي ولكنه قام بترتيب أفكاري وربطها ب(خيطٍ ناظم) كما يقال بخصوص أفكار كثيرة تتعلق بعلم النفس والتفكير.

بل إنني لن أبالغ إن قلت أن كثيرًا مما ذكر في هذا الكتاب (وهو مبني على كتاب learned optimism للكاتب) وطرحه كنت قد توصلت اليه مع نفسي بناءً على ملاحظاتي ومطالعاتي الشخصية وقد اتفق الكاتب معها (مع فارق أن ما ذكره الكاتب قد تم بحثه وتكراره بشكل منهجي وإن كنت أريد أن أطلع على أحدث ما وصل إليه هذا البرنامج وهذا المجال).
جدير بالذكر أن فكرة الكتاب مرتبطة بشكل وثيق بفكرة عقلية النمو للكاتبة كارول دويك بل إن الكاتب استشهد ببعض دراساتها في أحد مواضع الكتاب


كتاب يجعلك تتساءل لماذا لا نتعلم هذه الأمور في نظامنا التعليمي (في آخر الكتاب تعريف ببعض المدارس التي قررت بدء تدريس هذه المهارات بالفعل في العقد الماضي) ويشعرك بحجم المسؤولية التي تقع على عاتق أي ولي أمر ومربي في هذا العالم.

هذه مجرد مراجعة سريعة وأغلب الظن أنني سأعود وألخص هذا الكتاب وفكرته لأهميتها الشديدة في نظري كشخص مهتم بالأطفال والتربية.

Although I teach young adults and no longer have any children at home, I believe this is a profound and useful book for people like me who ride the "Hero-to-Zero" Rollercoaster. The bulk of the book is on developing an optimistic mindset, but by this, the author does not mean the blithe positive thinking and meaningless platitudes of the self-esteem and unconditional praise movements.

Indeed, this clinical psychologist and former APA president takes the "self-esteem" ideas of (particularly) California's public schools to task because he shows that self-esteem is actually a combination of both "feeling and accomplishment" but the current educational climate is heavy on feeling and light on accomplishment (pp. 33-34). In fact, though he is an unabashed proponent of "optimism," he emphasizes that this must be "accurate optimism." "Optimism that is not accurate is empty and falls apart." (p. 298)

Quickly stated, he builds optimism using an ABCDE model.
A recognizes the reality that everyone faces ADVERSITY.
B teaches one to recognize BELIEFS (rational or irrational) in which we respond to adversity [and how to have that inner dialogue that disputes erroneous beliefs].
C allows one to consider the CONSEQUENCES of responding to adversity with these beliefs.
D teaches one to DISPUTE false beliefs with specific evidence.
E helps one plan active steps to ENERGIZE a solution.

Using this approach allows one to "decatastrophize" situations which might be likely to send us into "depression" if they are not dealt with. (Roughly 2/3 of the book unfolds this process along with providing illustrations from clinical studies!)

I also liked his approach to teaching problem-solving to children.
#1 Slow Down - quit acting impulsively (p. 241)
#2 Find Perspective - imagine another's view (p. 246)
#3 Set Goal(s) - decide what you want and list intermediate, necessary steps to get there (p. 251)
#4 Choose Path - determine the best goal and plan from #3 (p. 256)
#5 Evaluate - determine if your solution is working (p. 260)

Naturally, this is only a summary of his major points, but it should be enough to let you know whether this book is for you or not.

Optimism isn’t about cheerful slogans or wishful thinking. Instead, useful optimism means taking accurate responsibility for your actions and persevering through setbacks. You can help your children become more optimistic by teaching them to see their challenges as temporary and specific rather than permanent and all-consuming. 

Actionable advice:

Help your child master the world.

The feeling of mastering a skill or task is an important part of optimism and self-esteem. You can start fostering this feeling in young children with something as simple as shopping. The next time you go to a store, let your child choose and pay for three items himself, and put the items into his own little bag. Small activities like this will give your child the sense that he has the ability to influence his world and make things happen.