THIS REVIEW IS GOING TO BE LONG. IT ALSO CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT. TRIGGER WARNINGS: RAPE, GANGRAPE, DRUGS, ANOREXIA NERVOSA, SUICIDE

First, let's talk about porn. Then, we'll get to the book.

I've never seen Jenna Jameson in porn, I don't watch porn.

I'm not anti-porn, I know some feminists are, but I can't hate on people for wanting to watch sex and masturbate. That's perfectly understandable. I always knock on a Boyfriend's door and wait for permission before entering the room.

You're a sexual person. Why don't you watch porn?

I find it either sad/traumatizing, or boring. A lot of porn is really degrading to women and it makes me sad to watch. On the rare occasion that there is a porn film that is NOT degrading to women, it is just very boring. I need a plot; I need a man I can swoon over (none of this random-stranger shit); I need some sort of story and emotional connection. Porn just isn't made this way; it doesn't cater to women at all. What women need is a romantic movie - with good, intense falling in love - with added sex scenes. Unfortunately for us, romantic movies are rated PG-13 and released in theaters so we never get to the good stuff. I need the long, romantic story/tension AND the sex, or it's not working for me.

This is why women read erotica and romance novels. They are perfect for women.

ALSO, and this is a huge problem, the sex that is in porn is simply not enjoyable for women. It focuses on blowjobs, and it avoids anything that feels good for a woman. This is because clitoral stimulation is important for women. And stimulating a woman covers up her vulva, and a woman's vulva is money for porn. Because a woman's vulva has to be on display at all times, she can't be properly fingered, eaten out, or fucked by a man. Porn stars deliberately fuck in the most strange poses so that they are always showcasing the star's vulva. It makes me SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED, especially when I see these women (with very long, manicured nails) trying to rub their own clitoris in order to feel good. I'm like, "You shouldn't have to do that, the man should take care of that shit for you." It makes me very sad, and long, manicured nails are very difficult to masturbate with, so they're probably not even helping themselves that much. As a result, I feel sad, angry, and frustrated at men from watching porn, instead of turned-on.

Does anyone care? No. That's because porn is not about pleasure. It's about helping men masturbate.

You can always tell when you've gotten a man who has learned how to have sex by watching porn. You have to be very gentle and firm and completely rework his thinking. It's annoying and sometimes impossible. What looks good on screen does NOT feel good for a woman in real life. It's very difficult for men to understand this, sometimes, but I find gentle redirection and encouragement can rectify a man's poor technique learned from porn films.

OKAY, ON TO THE BOOK.

I was mentally bracing myself for this book. I knew it would be very brutal because of what Jameson went through in life, and it was even worse than I thought. She is raped two times (that is, if you go by her definition of rape. She doesn't "count" it as rape all the times she woke up after being drunk/drugged/blotto to find some guy on top of her) PLUS the time when she was gangraped and left for dead. These rapes are very difficult to read about. I have a very, very hard time reading about rape, and I felt very sick during my whole read of this novel, to the point that my food intake was cut in half. It's brutal. She loses her virginity to a rapist and wakes up in a puddle of blood, it's very hard to read.

Interspersed with Jameson's stories - which are almost all horrifying, men either raping her, drugging her, stealing from her, treating her like shit - are huge, porn photos of her stripping and in bikinis or naked. I don't know what this means. My personal theory is that this book is catering to two completely different sets of people: men who buy this book to masturbate and look at pictures of Jameson and perhaps read some of her detailed sexual accounts in here (the few that are positive; mostly with other women) and those who are actually interested in reading a book. In trying to please both audiences you get some pretty bizarre results. It's jarring to have a rape scene laid out in detail opposite of a topless Jameson with her tongue out, winking.

However, I was able to pretty much just read the book and ignore the pictures. I'm sure some readers do the opposite.


FRUSTRATED

Of course I was frustrated with Jameson while reading this book. Not because I had any anger about her getting into stripping and porn (understandable) and her rapes (people who blame women for rapes are the lowest form of scum) but because she always ends up dating/marrying these shitheel men. Total assholes who not only verbally abuse her and disrespect her, but steal from her and make money off her. And she always goes on to another guy. It's hard for me not to get frustrated with her when she merrily plunges off a cliff with the next boyfriend, who is a complete waste of space - which is obvious to everyone BUT her.

If I were her, I would stop dating men. I would just swear off men altogether. And she would have it easier than me, because she is bisexual. I would be celibate if there were no men, she could keep on with women (who in the book are the only loving, kind and respectful partners she has), have a steady girlfriend, and just tell men to fuck off.

BISEXUAL
Jameson says female strippers and porn stars being bisexual is part of the industry. She says it's more likely for a stripper or a porn star to be bisexual than someone who never works in porn.

I was always celebrating when she met a woman and started a relationship with her, because women were the only ones who were kind to her, listened to her, respected her, and supported her. The only people she had good romantic relationships with were women.

Every single man she dated was a disrespectful piece of trash. Even the man she ends up 'loving' and marrying in her 'happy ending' is someone I would have shown the door on about Day Two of dating him. She has such a huge tolerance; I have no tolerance for men who are disrespectful pieces of trash. She also seems to like dominant men, and men she calls "real men" who seem to be bossy and in control and have tempers. All real turn-offs for me. So, we are in basic disagreement here.

And in reading her entire sexual history in this book (basically) it's clear to see how fucked up she is about men. Not like I can blame her. But she sees every man as a complete asshole, disrespectful, user, cheater, liar. She can't ever shake this viewpoint. Even in sexual scenarios or relationships in which she seems to be describing a man who is exhibiting good behavior, she always has "what is he really after?" in the back of her mind. She describes even the most patient men as creepers and pervs. Any man who wants to have sex with her is a creeper and a perv, full stop.

This is because she has never been in a good, kind, respectful, loving relationship with a man. And it's doubly hard because her job makes men think that they can treat her any way they want to. She doesn't matter, she's not a person - she's a porn star. And therefore she's a slut and a whore who has no morals and no need for love or soft words. Which is, of course, completely untrue. So her choice of profession has messed up her opportunities to meet a more kind of "everyday" guy who might treat her right. She deserves to have a man who laughs at her jokes, listens to her opinion and respects it, and one who is kind and merciful to her. Instead, we have a parade of losers who treat her like shit and verbally abuse her, steal from her and cheat on her. And they don't think she "deserves" any better because she works in porn.

It's very sad.

Add on top of this all the rape and abuse, and it's an incredibly depressing book. There's a reason it's on my will-put-you-off-men shelf.

If you ever need to resist an ex-boyfriend who is calling you or take a cold shower to calm down and stop being so attracted to whatever man in your life is bad for you, I highly recommend this book and others on my shelf will-put-you-off-men. These books will very soon have you convinced that all men are scum and will actually even make you physically ill when you think about men. It's excellent for self-control. I was retching every time I even thought about kissing a man this week, and for me that is very strange.


FUNNY

Despite all the shit she's been through, I was surprised and pleased to find Jameson is a genuinely funny person. I was laughing a lot reading this book. She tends to insert a "funny chapter" after every three or so "serious chapters" where she's getting abused, hurt, or raped. These funny chapters were actually hilarious, usually focusing on the porn industry. She can even make rather "sad" topics funny, like the chapter in which she describes how damaged and injured strippers' bodies are after years of stripping.

Her chapter on fielding the questions she always gets day in and day out, comparing how she answers them depending on if her mood is good or bad, was HILARIOUS. I was literally laughing out loud.

She also has a really funny part where she (trying to seduce a guy) gets on the floor and masturbates until she comes like a freight train. It's really funny, the man's reactions are even funnier, oh, gosh.

And I don't know who does the artwork for her in the book or if she does it herself, but often she tells her "funny chapters" by way of graphic novel.


DRUGS

Jameson has done a lot of drugs, A LOT, ever since she was about 12 or 11. So... make of that what you will. She, her father, and her brother did drugs. "As a family." Coke, acid, pot, etc. etc. She talks very honestly and openly about all the years she was on meth and how bad meth messed her up (a boyfriend got her hooked on that one). She doesn't hide the fact that she and a lot of her friends were junkies.


ANOREXIA
Jameson is very sensitive about how she appears on film, and either because she feels like shit about herself or because of a boyfriend calling her fat all the time, she does practice anorexia on and off during the book. Sometimes for long periods of time. Sometimes combined with meth use. It's amazing she's still alive, honestly. At one point she's down to 80 pounds and marveling that anyone is paying to see her dance. If you're someone who has an eating disorder, this book isn't especially triggering, as anorexia isn't the main focus. Jameson usually avoids talking about weight and diet (out of a respect for triggers? Because it's not the point of the book?) and the only detail that people might find triggering is her tryst with the diet she puts herself on of "lettuce and a power bar." She really is respectful and honest when discussing her anorexia, I found it refreshing. Combined with the drugs, oh gosh. I'm amazed she's still breathing.


SUICIDE
She only briefly mentions considering suicide once in this book, but doesn't end up attempting it.


HOW TO MAKE IT IN PORN

I found the chapters about how porn is made and what working in the porn industry is like to be truly fascinating. In one chapter, Jameson completely breaks it down about how to be a woman and get into the business. She tells you what will be expected of you, what not to tolerate, and what it will really be like to have sex with strangers on camera.

Even better is when she has an (anonymous) male porn star come on and tell everything about being a male porn star. She warns, "If you are a man who has ever fantasized about starring in porn, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER." The truth is, of course, unglamorous and rather disgusting. The male porn star talks about how you have to be extremely in control of your penis, get hard on command, come on command, have to train yourself to get it up for any female - even females you'd never, ever be attracted to in real life. He says he practices getting hard all the time, while talking to the gas company on the phone, while doing everyday "unsexy" activities. He describes trying to have sex while on camera and with a dozen people in the room watching and filming. It doesn't sound like a fun job.

He also discusses how male porn stars are "like lepers" and can never get a girlfriend. They are doomed to lonely lives, he tells us.


SHE PULLS HERSELF UP

One thing to admire about Jameson is her real go-get-it-ness and her ability to pull herself up by the bootstraps out of the gutter time after time after time. She is so brave and she keeps getting back up after falling down. I can't imagine how she stays so positive and ambitious after all she's been through. I would have fallen apart, she just dusts herself off after every tragedy and keeps going. It's admirable.


GOOD MALE PORN STARS

Another really interesting thing are the male porn stars she chooses to praise. Two really come to mind, Peter North and T.T. Boy, both of whom she said fucked her within an inch of her life. She really went into detail describing how T.T. turned her out. She has so many negative things to say about male porn stars: they're too aggressive, too clingy, too rough, unhygienic, unprofessional,... and it was really surprising when she would (only twice) have positive things to say about one. And her praise is rare and sincere. She seems honestly surprised any time she meets a male porn star whom she can actually enjoy having sex on camera with.

She never loses her sense of humor, though, her (crazy, thorough, long) scene with T.T. is punctuated with hilarious asides and her unique sense of what's funny.

He raced through the foreplay - a little kissing, a little [going down on me] - and then all hell broke loose. He slammed me so fast and hard that it took every ounce of control I had to stay focused and in the moment. Trying to maintain eye contact with him was like trying to read Dostoevsky on a roller-coaster.

LOL LOL LOL Reading Dostoevsky on a roller coaster. Too funny. She gets even funnier, it's a hilarious scene.


NAME DROPPING

Celebrities can't resist name dropping in their books, and Jameson is no exception. Everyone is in here: Sly Stallone, Bruce Willis, tons of rock stars (I'm not familiar with them, so I'm not going to bother to list them), Jack Nicholson, Wesley Snipes, Cindy Crawford, etc. etc.

However, I'm impressed she didn't take it further. It could have been much, much worse. Name-dropping bores me to tears, I'm just not interested in celebrity gossip, and I actually felt like Jameson was keeping it to a rather reasonable minimum here. I've read memoirs that are much worse.


IMPLANTS

She's also very honest about (both) her implant surgeries and how regretful she is that she didn't keep her real breasts.



Tl;dr - I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. Perhaps 'enjoyed' is the wrong word, it's so difficult for me to read books about rape and this one is very heavy on the abuse and rape side of things. However, it's easier for me to read books that are non-fiction when it comes to rape (I usually DNF fiction books with rape) because I believe in listening to rape survivors and their experiences.

My friend, while reading this, asked me jokingly if I was "learning anything." I said I was learning that men are pieces of shit who should be avoided at all costs. She laughed, but that is the true message of this book. I'm amazed Jameson ends up married to a man at the end of this after so much heartache. I think people see you reading this and think it is like a "dirty" book in the vein of erotica or romance, like you are going to be getting some kind of sexual thrill from reading it, but that is the farthest thing from the truth. I found nothing "sexy" in this book at all. Not a damn thing. Basically because I find kind men to be sexy and there's not any of those in here. Even the ones who start out seeming like they are decent quickly show their true colors to Jameson. She can't win.

Do you recommend this book?

Well. I mean, either you have an interest in this sort of thing or not. I, a person who can't pick Jameson out of a lineup and doesn't watch [visual] porn, actually ended up thinking this was a great read. I can't really predict how anyone else will react though. I've tried to let you know the gist of it in my review. I definitely wouldn't push this on anyone who doesn't have an interest/curiosity at the onset - it's not THAT good. It's not so good I'd be pushing it on everyone, insisting they'll love it (like I would do with, say, Reamde or Have You Found Her). So... read at your own risk.

This is the standard I’m holding all celebrity memoirs to from now on (shout out to Celebrity Memoir BookClub for the recommendation).

**2025 note: Jenna is MAGA?? I used to follow her on insta, but the day after the election she posted a photo in an American flag swimsuit with a caption celebrating Trump's win. It never fails to amaze me how a woman who has experienced horrendous treatment at the hands of men like Trump, will continue to support and vote for men like him. She is a rape victim openly supporting a rapist. it's like watching a sheep vote for a wolf. I'm not going to say disappointing because I don't know her, but it's just really fucking lame. If you are going to read this, I'd try to get it second-hand or from a library.**

GIANT HUGE NEON LARGE TW for sexual assault, abusive relationships, “daddy issues”, drug abuse, eating disorders, basically every sensitive topic out there.

This is a cautionary tale in every sense of the word- Jenna at no point glamorizes or romanticizes porn or her life. She is brutally honest about what she’s gone through.

I have a lot of respect and also sadness for Jenna after reading this, who has had men (and women) mistreat her it seems starting with her mothers death at an early age- from her fathers outright neglect (she is forgiving of him, I however, AM NOT) to her later on rape and abuse at the hands of multiple partners and strangers. She doesn’t go into it much, but she also lived with an abusive stepmother for years.

She is incredibly self-aware and takes full ownership of her choices, and refuses to be a victim, even though she is one in every sense and has every right to be angry at the world for how it treated her.

She also has that kind of star quality I’ve seen in some other memoirs where she never gives up - she works hard, makes her money even when she’s having a shit time, and asks for what she wants. And if someone says no, she doesn’t let it stop her, she finds another opportunity for herself. Even if you’re not interested in working in porn lol, there is a lot to be learned here on confidence and optimism in an industry that can be brutal.

But starting with the book itself - this is everything I want from a celebrity memoir. Celebrity gossip, inner info, sex tips- it’s great. Not to give away a lot, but this woman was hit on by men like Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis - MEN AIN’T SHIT.

She doesn’t seem to hold anything back, and the writing is very straightforward and feels quick to read, despite its nearly 600 long pages. There’s also a TON of photographs and very funny comic strips throughout to break some of the really tough to read sections. I liked the photos, they saved me time googling, although I do wish they lined up more with the parts in the book? I found myself flipping back constantly to try and match a story with a photo.

I can’t personally say I’m a fan of the porn industry, I think it can be pretty predatory and harmful, but I would also never condescend or judge sex workers for doing what they must. It’s not their fault that MEN AINT SHIT.

I’m happy to see that she seems clean (from drugs) and happy and working on herself, living her best gay life with her wife. I wouldn’t go near men again after the experiences she’s had, personally. My heart broke for her many times reading this, and I genuinely hope she is happy.

**Another note from 2025 - her being MAGA has colored her story to me as being more "I had to go through this and I was fine, so why should I try and support others who are going through it" because again, she, a rape victim, voted for a rapist. Also apparently she and her wife are getting divorced and she may have cheated. so I don't know if she'll ever get a happy ending.

This book is full of non-sense, and is sheer waste of time. The protagonist is trying to prove that she is a great person and she is kind of obsessed with her ownself. A good narrative would have followed her motivations for taking the choices that she took, and that was the prime reason that I wanted to read this book. But at crucial moments during her journey of life she just tells you that she did X and Y without indulging you into her inner thought mechanims why she did want it at the first place?

How many teenage girls decide on a whim, that they need a tattoo on their booty. The story of her life started with this desire but there was no internal dialogue that we could see whether it is good or bad to have tattoo at that stage in that environment, and how should one go about it. Its also not mentioned how she felt about it while taking all those major decisions.

This book has not answered the questions that I had in my mind, so I will just give one star.

A memoir of a girl who acts like a complete whore (regardless of her occupation) but gets offended when someone calls her a whore. Nuff said. Detailed review later.

Oh, Jenna, I was rooting for you to step up to the plate and show the world that you are a strong and independent force to be reckoned with. Perhaps prove to be a brilliant businesswoman who made her way in the world and overturned misogyny and maltreatment in the given field. This was almost unreadable blather. Stick to fucking.

Hmmmm, a cautionary tale? It seems to me that Jenna is glamorizing porn. I like this book because it gives insight into that mioptic, strange world, but Jenna is trying to make a buck here. Hence, it doesn't always seem truthful to me. What is sad is basically she didn't have any parenting. Her mother died, and her father was always working and basically she ran wild and made really dumb choices. She had no self-esteem and was set adrift to be raped and used. Her life seems completely sexualized. She could strip, lap dance, and do porn with her father's blessing, which I seriously doubt is the norm. Her story is a story of survival, but I think she faired better than most other porn stars. She is the richest porn star in history and very proud of it. Oh well, good for her.

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I wonder how many people were taken in by that title and then shocked by how jaded and disillusioned Jenna Jameson was about her industry. HOW TO MAKE LOVE LIKE A PORN STAR is such an odd book because, as others have pointed out, the tone is all over the place. The book starts out pretty grim, with the death of her mother from terminal cancer, her getting mixed up with an emotionally closed off tattoo guy whose biker friend rapes her, and then, later, she finds her murdered best friend who was also getting raped by the biker guy (who was her dad, also, YIKES). After that, it gets into her sex work, which started with stripping and gradually became movies.



What makes HOW TO MAKE LOVE LIKE A PORN STAR such an odd book is that it's like an oral history of Jenna Jameson and the porn industry. On my Kindle this book is a whopping 700+ pages long and I don't think it really needed to be. A lot of that page count is photos, many of which are NSFW, and some of them are placed in weird spots. Like, she'll be describing a hardcore scene and then there will be a picture of her as a kid with her family. Or when she was talking about her rape and its effects on her, there might be a topless glamor shot.



I thought the memoir parts were interesting but then the second half of the book took a mixed media route, and they incorporated things like her old journal entries (which weren't scanned well), interviews between her and her dad and her brother, and passages written from people she worked with. There's also comic book pages based on her life and tongue-in-cheek snippets, like one where she talks about the answers she might give in an interview when she's in a good mood versus a bad one.



Overall this was a pretty interesting read and not my usual fare but it was interesting to read another take about a women who used to work in porn. However, if you want a book that goes the "Yay, porn! I love my job!" route, I think I'd read Asa Akira's memoir over this one.



3 stars

Okay. Well. It was interesting. What else can I say about this book? I found myself frustrated because it felt like it was written by, well, someone who never quite took school as a priority and started stripping and having sex on film for money. Which makes Jenna Jameson sound worse than I think she actually is, but... that's how the book reads.

The story of her life is a bit predictable with the standard troubled childhood and life of trials and hardships, but to Jenna's credit, she does admit in the book that she realizes that as much as she doesn't want her story to be THAT story - that maybe she would have ended up on the same path without the things she went through and that other people have been through the same drama and wound up as doctors so really, her past is inconsequential.

It's an interesting read, but I wish I hadn't shelled out the money it cost me for the hardcover copy. I can't even read it in public because of all the nekkid pictures!

Huge fan of Neill Strauss' work, read this to gain even more of an insight into how he ghostwrites and puts people's stories on paper. This book was not only page-turning but a story that uncovers how to triumph through trauma and make the world your own. Perspective is everything and kindness conquers doubt, no one deserves judgment-- if we come together we will learn. Back to Neill, I am looking forward to reading more of his works' as ghostwriting continues o be a niche interest of mine.

Det är en välfylld berättelse om Jennas liv. Hon har varit med om mycket, mycket mer än man kan tro.

Boken är skriven på olika sätt: vanligt berättande, vnta dialog, dagboksanteckningar, serieformat, m.m.
Jag var inte överförtjust i dialogformatet. Det gjorde att berättandet blev tradigt, tyvärr.

Men i det stora hela är det en bra och intressant biografi.

I learned a lot. Let’s put it that way.

From the moment I heard about this book, I was interested. What could possess someone to become a porn star? What are the motivations? Of course this was only one woman's story, but my thoughts on porn stars didn't change much.

Jenna Jameson has lived a pretty disturbed and hard life, that's for sure. I think she's a really strong woman for coming out and saying some of the things that happened to her.

Regardless of my personal feelings regarding the subject matter, it was interesting to see how she became who she is today. I wasn't very interested in reading about her doing drugs (almost every other page) or about another abusive (both mentally and/or physically) relationship she was involved in, but for the most part, the book kept me wanting more.

The novel is separated into "books", which was fine, but I didn't really see the point. There was a whole 'book' of a conversation between her, her brother, her father, and her sister-in-law that I really couldn't wait to get through. That, and that half the autobiography is filled with pictures of her were the two main problems I had. I'd barely read 50 pages before I was almost halfway through the book.

The last couple of chapters were filled with lovey talk about her new guy Jay, who she ends up marrying and plans on having children with. I know this was written four years ago so this isn't her fault, but I think I heard recently that she's now with and pregnant by some other fella. Just bugged me a little, but that can't be helped.

Overall though, an interesting read.