از کتابهایی که حرفی برای گفتن داره و اگر با دقت و حضور ذهن خونده بشه میتونه خیلی کمک کننده باشه. به خصوص توو روابط و مشکلات.

موجودات بشرى به طور پایان ناپذیرى خود را تنبیه مى کنند، به این دلیل که آنچه گمان مى کنند باید باشند، نیستند...

The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

I was given this book as a Birthday present from my little brother. He said its teachings can be life changing. I ENJOYED it a lot!!! As with any self help type of book you gotta "take some" and "leave some" if you know what I mean? For me this was a definite TAKE way more than leave. My brother and I have similar personalities and I can see very much why he gave me this book. As soon as I read the inside cover I knew this was going to be something that connected with me, my life, and my way of thinking. Honestly, I think anyone and everyone who reads it can benefit and take something away making their life better. The bottom line in this book is that life is all about love---how to give it and receive it. This has been a long time belief of mine---that life is all about learning to love, unconditionally loving the way our Creator loves.

INSIDE COVER:
BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

I think most everyone has read this book . Basically it tells us to be true to our real selves, look for the good, not bad, live in the moment, not to accept others opinions of you as true. Don't make assumptions, tell people what you need. Don't take things personally - in short who could be a better judge of who you are than yourself. In my experience it's much easier to be yourself as an " older" person. You've had those extra years to figure out who you are, and hopefully what's most important to you. You learn that most of the time the general public pay little or no attention to you. It becomes much less important to live up to the expectations of others and in my case , it has probably made me speak my mind way too often and too loudly. I think I'll need to keep this nearby and re- read parts to fully grasp all of it's concepts , not all of which I'm fully on board with yet . We'll see . Makes you think. 4 stars

3 sao

Một cuốn sách không thành công.

Mục đích của quyển này là giúp người đọc tự giải phóng mình để đạt tới tự do, là một kiểu sách selfhelp nhưng thay vì như những cuốn khác - diễn giải những thứ phức tạp sang dễ hiểu để người đọc áp dụng cho chính mình - thì quyển sách này lại làm điều ngược lại: biến những thứ đơn giản sang các khái niệm trừu tượng khó hiểu.

Sách chỉ dày 180 trang, khổ sách nhỏ, size chữ to lại chừa lề khá nhiều nên chỉ tương đương một cuốn sách size thường hơn trăm trang thôi, có thể hoàn tất trong 1, 2 buổi đọc. Nhưng nếu đọc nó như những cuốn sách văn học hay selfhelp khác thì bảo đảm khi đọc xong sẽ chẳng có gì đọng lại trong đầu. Vì tác giả dùng rất nhiều hình tượng khác nhau để thay thế cho những khái niệm thông thường. Thật ra đây cũng chỉ là những cách gọi khác của người Toltec, không giống với cách gọi sự vật của chúng ta thôi. Nhưng việc này ngoài bê nguyên si văn hóa Toltec đến với người đọc thì mình thấy chẳng giúp ích gì cho mục tiêu của quyển sách cả. Chính vì vậy mình đã tốn khá nhiều thời gian cho quyển sách mỏng này chỉ để đọc hiểu những thứ vốn dĩ đơn giản.

Đó là về mặt hình thức, còn về nội dung thực chất những gì cuốn sách nói cũng không có gì mới. Bạn có thể đọc tóm tắt các thỏa ước ở phần bìa gập của sách. Chưa đến nửa trang giấy, và nội dung bên trong của sách cũng chỉ như vậy thôi, ngoài việc làm cho nó thêm phần rối rắm, khó hiểu hơn.

Cũng như các sách selfhelp khác, những chỉ dẫn này (mà sách gọi là các thỏa ước) rất đúng đắn, nhưng vấn đề ở chỗ bản thân mình có thực hành được hay không. Và đọc sách xong mình vẫn chưa cảm thấy được sự thuyết phục thôi thúc bản thân phải thực hiện nó. Dung lượng sách ít nhưng lại nói suông quá nhiều, chỉ toàn hứa hẹn bạn sẽ đạt được thế này, thế kia một tràng dài, các dẫn chứng xuất hiện ít ỏi lại là những câu chuyện nhuốm màu "cổ tích" mà thôi.

Một điểm (chê) cuối nữa là bản dịch quá tệ. Vốn bản gốc đã khó hiểu rồi mà qua cách diễn đạt của bản dịch còn khó hiểu hơn. Người dịch/ biên tập không linh động trong việc chuyển tải ý của tác giả mà dùng từ, đặt câu quá cứng nhắc. Đơn cử như câu này:

"(Tự do đích thực) là tự do làm con người mà chúng ta thực sự là"@_@.

Đến mình còn có thể chỉnh sửa lại như này:
(Tự do đích thực) là tự do làm cho chúng ta được là chính mình.
Vẫn cùng ý đó nhưng có phải dễ hiểu hơn không.

Ít ra đọc câu này mình còn tưởng tượng được bản gốc nó như thế nào để hiểu, còn những phần khác của quyển sách không biết có nên tin tưởng bản dịch hay không nữa.

P/s nhỏ tí là thực sự trước giờ mình không tin vào ích lợi của những sách thể loại này, trong cuộc sống mình thường dành thời gian tự suy ngẫm các vấn đề của bản thân rồi giải quyết thì thấy hiệu quả hơn rất nhiều, nhưng vì thấy quyển này được tái bản lại từ bản trước xuất bản cách đây khá lâu (một điều hiếm hoi ở nhã nam), review lại tốt nên nhân lúc cao hứng mới mua luôn >_<. Sau này chắc sẽ không mua loại sách này nữa, ngoài những cuốn khác đã mua lâu rồi sẽ ráng đọc cho xong :).

مدت زیادی بود که کتاب «چهار میثاق» را در فهرست مطالعاتی‌ام قرار داده بودم ولی هیچگاه به سراغش نمی‌رفتم. حتی حس جالبی هم نسبت به آن نداشتم. هنگام گشت و گذار در اینستاگرام، مشاهده کردم که یکی از دوستانم آن را معرفی کرده است. نگاهی به کپشن که از کوتاهی و روانی آن گفته بود، این حسم را که نیاز به مطالعه کتاب کوتاهی برای تنوع داشتم، برانگیخت تا مطالعه‌ی آن را شروع کنم. و چه خوب شد که آن را مطالعه کردم.
1- نویسنده با مقدمه‌ای توجه‌مان را به این نکته جلب می‌کند که لازم است با خودمان میثاقهایی ببندیم تا از برخی از بندهایی که ما را اسیر کرده است رهایی یابیم. سپس چهار عهد را ذکر می‌کند و توضیح می‌دهد: «با کلام خود گناه نکنید»، «هیچ چیز را به خود نگیرید»، «تصورات باطل نکنید» و «همیشه بیشترین تلاشتان را بکنید». در انتها نیز نکاتی را ذکر می‌کند برای اینکه مخاطبش انگیزه بگیرد تا علاوه بر عمل به این چهار میثاق، میثاقهای دیگری را نیز با خود ببندد تا بهتر زندگی کند.
2- بسیاری از مطالب گفته شده در کتاب را در آموزه‌های دینی و اسلامی هم داریم. توصیفات کتاب درباره فواید غیبت نکردن، دروغ نگفتن و ... مثالهایی از این دست می‌باشد. نکته‌ای که درباره‌ی مرگ در اواخر کتاب نوشته شده است: «فرشته مرگ به ما می‌آموزد که هر روز طوری زندگی کنیم که انگار آخرین روز زندگی ماست. انگار که فردایی نخواهد بود. ما می‌توانیم هر روز را با این جمله آغاز کنیم: من بیدار شده‌ام و خورشید را می‌بینم»، حدیث «اِعْمَلْ لِدُنْيَاكَ كَأَنَّكَ تَعِيشُ أَبَداً وَ اعْمَلْ لاِخِرَتِكَ كَأَنَّكَ تَمُوتُ غَداً» را برایم یادآوری کرد.
3- بخشی از ماجرای در آغوش کشیدن فرشته‌ی مرگ، روزهای آخر زندگی «رندی پاش» در کتاب «آخرین سخنرانی»، و نیز «پال کالانیتی» در کتاب «آن هنگام که نفس هوا می‌شود» را یادآوری می‌کند. اگر بدانیم فقط یک هفته برای زندگی فرصت داریم، چه می‌کنیم؟
4- «ترس» چیز عجیبی است. اولین بار یکی از دوستانم توجه من را به این واژه جلب کرد؛ به طوری که مجبور شدم کتاب «فلسفه ترس» را مطالعه کنم. حالا در گوشه گوشه‌ی کتاب «چهار میثاق» نیز همانند اشارات همان دوستم به «ترس» بسیاری از مشکلاتمان را ناشی از ترس می‌بینیم. ترس از اینکه دیگران ما را چگونه قضاوت می‌کنند یا ترس از از دست دادن احساسات عاطفی دیگران نسبت به خودمان، موجب رنج بشر می‌شوند. خشم، نفرت، غم، حسادت و خیانت را باعث می‌شود. ترس وقتی خیلی زیاد باشد، ذهن منطقی از کار می‌افتد. پیشنهاد می‌کنم پس از مطالعه‌ی این کتاب، حتما «ترس» را بیشتر بشناسید. مطالعه «چهار میثاق» را به «مهرطلبانی» که می‌خواهند با این مشکل مقابله کنند نیز پیشنهد می‌دهم.
5- از متن کتاب: «توقع نداشته باشید که همیشه بتوانید معصومانه از کلام استفاده کنید. عادات روزمره شما بسیار قوی هستند و در ذهنتان ریشه دارند. اما می‌توانید نهایت تلاشتان را بکنید. توقع نداشته باشید که بتوانید هیچ چیز را به خود نگیرید؛ فقط بیشترین تلاشتان را بکنید. توقع نداشته باشید که هرگز تصورات باطل نکنید، اما بی‌شک می‌توانید نهایت تلاشتان را بکنید.»
«چهار میثاق» به خوبی از نهایت تلاش را انجام دادن برای تغییر عادت صحبت می‌کند. حتی در قسمتی به درستی از لزوم توجه به مسیر به جای پاداش نهایی سخن می‌گوید. یا در قسمتی به لزوم تغییرات کوچک ولی مداوم به جای تغییرات بزرگ اشاره می‌کند. و نیز از ضرورت جایگزین کردن عادتهای مثبت به جای عادتهای منفی سخن می‌راند. خلاصه‌هایی از نکات کاربردی درباره تغییر عادتها را در کتاب می‌بینیم. شرح تفصیلی آنها را در کتابهای «قدرت عادت» و «عادتهای اتمی» می‌توانید مطالعه کنید.
6- مباحثی همچون «عمل کردن» به جای «پروراندن افکار بزرگ» لزوم حرکت کردن و مقابله با کمال‌طلبی را یادآوری می‌کند. حتی در کتاب، به طور مختصر برای گفتن «نه» نیز آماده می‌شویم.
7- میثاق سوم درباره‌ی این که «تصوات باطل نکنید» به تفصیل در کتاب مورد بحث قرار گرفته است. می‌خواهم از زاویه‌ای دیگر نیز به این موضوع اشاره کنم. نکاتی که «دنیل کانمن» در کتاب «تفکر سریع و کند» و «جاناتان گاتشال» در کتاب «حیوان قصه‌گو» از ذهن داستان‌ساز و قصه‌گوی انسان می‌گویند. اینکه ذهن ما دوست دارد کمترین انرژی را مصرف کند و به جای کندوکاو مسئله، ادامه‌ی ماجرا را به صورت ناخودآگاه و فوری با داستانی تکمیل کند تا تصوراتی را برای خودمان داشته باشیم. تصوراتی که در بسیاری از مواقع از اشتباه بودن آن باخبر می‌شویم ولی باز هم ذهن دست از داستان‌سرایی برنمی‌دارد.
8- قسمتهایی از کتاب نیز موضوع زیستن به صورت «رواقی‌گری» را در ذهن تداعی می‌کند.
9- ترجمه‌ی خوب خانم «دل‌آرا قهرمان» به مطالعه روان کتاب و بالطبع درک بهتر آن کمک شایانی کرده است.

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
- John Lennon

“You can say yes, or you can say no – whatever you choose – without guilt or self-judgement. You can choose to follow your heart always.”

3.5 ★ for me. Leaning towards 4 ★

Often we’re our own worst enemies with our mindset. Opportunities missed through inertia (or fear). Making the same mistakes repeatedly. Wasn’t it Albert Einstein who said something along the lines of doing the same thing over and over, and yet expecting a different result? Well, this book could well alter your thinking.

Written in a straightforward style, what Don Miguel Ruiz talks about actually makes a lot of sense. How often do we dismiss our inner voice, only to later realise we should have listened to it. How many of us are keen to please others, and then get frustrated when our own needs aren’t being met. The permutations are endless.

This was recommended to me by someone I met at the MBS Festival** last week. I’d seen this book repeatedly over the years, but for whatever reason had never gotten around to reading it. Timing is everything! It’s funny how the right book finds you at the right time.

I’m going to re-read this one, as there’s a lot take in. So many concepts. The thoughts are bubbling away, percolating…

★ “I am made of light, I am made of stars." ★
Isn’t that a beautiful idea.

MBS Festival** (Mind Body Spirit)

Struggling somewhat to rate this one. There were a few nuggets that were very enlightening but a lot of unoriginal concepts or overly fluffy statements as well.

I found myself thinking "hey, that reminds me of..." very frequently while reading this book. The book reads like retreads of various scriptures, warm fuzzy stories, and self-help manuals. It's not a new concept that words are powerful and we should think and speak positively about ourselves and others. Not taking things personally is another not-new self-help idea. Same with not making assumptions and always doing your best. A lot of the advice is couched in "fuzzy" terms that just irritate me...black magic vs. white magic, visualizing and imagining, we live in a dream of hell? While the concepts behind the language may be accurate I just had a hard time taking it too seriously with language like that.

I particularly struggled as a parent reading the first chunk of the book. We have to teach our children something, just so they can function in society and have a structure to hang their lives on, but Ruiz seemed so against "domestication" that he almost seemed to advocate not passing our beliefs and teachings on to our children because they have no real choice in whether or not to believe them when they are young. I suspect if I had the chance to actually have a conversation with him, he could clarify the confusing and sometimes contradictory passages in the book, but I don't have that opportunity. And I'm left with a book that seems to have some good, though not really original, ideas - with no real outline for how to apply them.

For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.

i feel like whenever life takes a downward turn, non-fiction novels offer a compelling reason to persevere. despite its small size, this book beautifully highlights the universal themes that bind us all together: love, live and let live.

make four simple agreements with yourself and you will discover that living becomes remarkably easier, incredibly lighter:

̗̀➛be impeccable with your word: it's about choosing your words carefully, ensuring that they reflect your true character and values. by avoiding gossip, lies, and self-judgment, you create a space of trust and authenticity in your interactions.

̗̀➛don't take anything personally: remember, other people's opinions and actions are a reflection of their own experiences and perspectives, not a measure of your worth. embrace the power of detachment, allowing yourself to rise above the noise of external judgments. instead of assuming that everything is about you, cultivate a mindset of empathy and understanding.

̗̀➛don't make assumptions: take a moment to pause and seek clarity before jumping to conclusions. by verifying the truth and communicating clearly, you can avoid misunderstandings and foster stronger connections. embrace the art of asking questions, as it demonstrates your genuine interest in understanding others and promotes open dialogue.

̗̀➛always do your best: strive for excellence in every situation, giving your all without pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion. remember, your best is unique to you, and it's not about comparing yourself to others. embrace self-acceptance and let go of regret or self-criticism. by doing your best, you honor your own growth and potential.

i highly recommend it to everyone to read this book atleast once in your lifetime.

what amazed me, was the seamless integration of stories, anecdotes, and examples from diverse beliefs within this petite book.

---
my sibling used to shy away from books, thanks to his love for manga. however, he has always been a curious soul and loves to discuss various topics. so, i decided to introduce him to this book that i thought would pique his interest. and girl, was i right! we ended up br'ing it and discussing it at length. it was a great bonding experience for us.

This little book is going to tear your heart open, put a light of love in it. This light will grow and become a fire, then you start spreading the love of light to your family, your community, your nation, to the world and to the universe.

1st Agreement: Be impeccable with your word.
The word impeccable derives from the Latin word impeccabilis, a combination of the Latin prefix in-, meaning "not," and the verb peccare, meaning "to sin."
To speak a word is a gift from god. Learned men would always have a firm grip on the words they speak, and they would never incur sin with harsh words.

2nd Agreement: Don’t take it personally
If you’re in a bus stand waiting for a bus and some random person says you’re stupid. Don’t react or get into fight, if you do so, then deep down you have a belief that you’re stupid.
Don’t take it personally even if someone shoots you in the face.

3rd Agreement: Don’t make assumptions
If you’re making assumptions, then you’re bringing hell in your dream (According to author, we all are living in a dream, yes, like in Matrix.). Don’t worry about your future, don’t ruminate your bad past incident. Be present.

4th Agreement: Always be your best.
This is difficult. If you wake up fresh and energized, then you progress your day with enthusiasm and positivity. But, if you had a fight with your spouse, then you feel sad and let your emotions take over and you make your day terrible.
Always be and do your best, whether you’re happy or not, whether you’re healthy or sick. In order to comply with the 4th agreement, first you must master the first 3 agreements.

It is not easy to master the above agreements, but don’t give up. If you break the 1st agreement by yelling, then start all over. Living in accordance with the above agreements is a way of living a good life.

Miguel Ruiz' self-help nonfictional work could easily be summarized in a few words, and if - upon reading the book's blurb here on Goodreads, which basically provides such a summary - you find nothing worth investigating in this novel, then maybe you should rather choose another book. Ruiz' ideas are very insightful and thought-provoking, but in their core nothing ground-breaking and some of his examples are actually rather questionable.

Ruiz basically implies the importance of standing up for yourself, not allowing others to influence your thoughts and your way of living in a negative way, instead living the way you want to live and not allowing expectations raised by society to affect your life. The tone of his prose was rather straightforward, but also condescending at certain points. All the time Ruiz repeated the same formulaic idea that nobody should take things personal, but his writing gave the impression of something along the lines of "but please do take those things personal which I am telling you about right now". Ruiz divides his book into four major steps, so-called 'agreements' which you have to adapt to in order to successfully change your life for the best, according to him. Those four agreements are called 1) be impeccable with your word, 2) don't take anything personal, 3) don't make assumptions and 4) always do your best. He also offers lengthy explanations and nonfictional examples to support those agreements.

Miguel Ruiz used to work as a surgeon until a near-death-experience convinced him of changing his life and delving into the deepest parts of himself, parts of which can be found in this book. Ruiz' enthusiasm about the concept he is living by basically flows through the entire text, allowing it to turn into a very uplifting book of highly readable and rather simplistic messages, yet Ruiz successfully managed to provide food for thoughts.

Even though I personally liked Ruiz' self-help novel a lot (it has actually been my first self-help novel, if you forget about disguised self-helpers like Jonathan Livingston Seagull), I can see why others would disagree with some of his messages, especially with his examples. Ruiz' concept of the 'dream of the planet' seemed far-fetched, and it always felt as if he was trying to make everything sound too simple, as if he didn't take different factors into account which would affect those four agreements in certain ways. I am going to give this book 4 stars since Ruiz' prose is incredibly readable, and his basic ideas and concepts resonate well with my own perceptions. Recommended for readers who are generally interested in this specific genre.

A short, helpful guide on adopting four principles that will help you live a more fulfilling life. The principles, referred to as "agreements" in the book are: Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't Take Anything Personally, Don't Make Assumptions, Always Do Your Best.

It is definitely better to read the book and have them explained by the author, I did find the advice helpful and insightful. I don't know what took me so long to pick up this book but one night I was browsing bestsellers list and this one showed up on many, so I decided to buy and read it. And I recommend it.

the fundamental takeaways dramatically shifted the way i perceive daily life.
1. be impeccable with your word - i think twice before i make a negative comment or snarky joke & it makes me realize... it's not that hard to channel positive energy in place of negative.
2. don't take anything personally - this has released pressure from every aspect of my life. it made me realize every person's actions are self-motivated & self-driven, its collateral impact on me is always unintentional & thus i shouldn't read into it nearly as much as i have been doing. this point alone has made me forgive a lot of people whom i held reservations toward up until now.
3. don't make assumptions - holy crap, it's OKAY to ask questions! why do we pretend that we all know what we're talking about? I'm done pretending :) and it's been gr8.
4. always do your best - and you can only do your best when your intentions are good and your passions are there. this has made me let go of a lot of things i was forcing in my life; because i wasn't passionate, i wasn't doing my best. it's made me intentional with how i spend my time.