3.5/5

I received Hard Eight, the unabridged audiobook version, as a present and approached it with a small amount of wariness because the last Janet Evanovich book I read on audio (that would be Seven Up) was ruined by the terrible over the top, cartoon-like rendering of the characters by narrator Tonya Elby. Hard Eight is read by a woman named Lorelei who takes an extremely different approach to Stephanie. Her approach, unfortunately, also does not work for me. Am I too picky, or what?

Stephanie's voice as read in this version is way too cultured, way too slow and it doesn't sound at all like the Stephanie Plum we all know and love. Here she sounds more like an out of place blue blooded socialite than a plucky Trenton, New Jersey girl. Stephanie's words are too often over-enunciated and the Jersey accent is lost altogether. And Ranger?! Ugh, he almost sounds like Fez from "That 70's Show". Is there no happy medium here folks? I must say, though, that the other characters do come to life and the reader did a great job differentiating the characters from each other (unlike the actress who voiced Seven Up). When a child speaks she sounds like a child. When a criminal speaks he sounds like a criminal. Not necessarily a criminal from New Jersey but I guess you just can't have it all.

Now about the story:

This time around Stephanie is on the search for a missing woman named Evelyn Soder and her young daughter Annie. Evelyn's grandmother Mabel is a neighbor of the Plum family (this is how Stephanie gets wrapped up in the case). Evelyn's ex-husband plans to cash in a "child custody bond" funded by Mabel. Mabel fears she'll lose her home if Evelyn isn't found and she fears for her great-granddaughter because Evelyn isn't exactly a "stable" personality.

So, Stephanie, our fearless, bumbling bounty hunter and her friend Lula start sniffing around and before long they have a run in with Evelyn's landlord, an evil man named Eddie Abruzzi. Abruzzi, who gives even street toughened Lula the creeps, is a nasty criminal who adds a much needed dark edge to this predictably frothy series.

Rounding out the cast of characters are the usual members that inhabit Stephanie's wild life. Grandma Mazer is her normally wacky self, Stephanie's not-quite-so-perfect-anymore sister Valerie is still trying to find herself and newcomer Albert Kloughn (pronounced Clown, of course) joins the cast. He's a goofy lawyer who badly wants to be Stephanie's assistant and begins to follow her around like a lost puppy dog. Accident prone yet immensely lovable, Kloughn provides a few of the (far too few) comical moments in the story. The usual run-ins with Ranger and Joe are here but I have to admit this love triangle stuff is getting awfully stale. Stephanie's still torn between the two sexy men and flip-flops between them. I wish they'd just hash it out and put an end to this tired "who will she pick?" drama. Enough already!

This story was my least favorite of the Plum books. It's not bad by any means and still entertains with its fast pace and moments of wit and I enjoyed the dark edge but the laugh out moments are too few and far between and everything has become too predictable. Stephanie is stuck in a rut and hasn't grown a bit since Book One. She keeps repeating the same mistakes that were funny, oh say three books ago? She forgets her gun, she bumbles her FTA's, she has intense sexual tension with Ranger and Joe, her cars are blown up at an alarming rate, and she eats horrifically bad food but still manages to squeeze into her jeans. It's all too familiar at this point but, yeah, I'll still buy the next book because even mediocre Stephanie Plum is better than no Stephanie Plum.

In Hard Eight, it begins with Stephanie feeling a little in limbo. She likes her job, generally speaking. However she is getting tired of her tendency to be stalked by crazy people or getting shot at. Both of which happen once again in her latest case. Her neighbor Mabel comes to her for help. Mabel's grandaughter Evelyn and her daughter Annie are on the run from Eveyln's exhusband. Due to a custody-bond agreement where Mabel put her house up for collateral, her house is now potentially going to be taken away unless someone finds Evelyn and Annie. Stephanie decides to take up the case while the usual hijinks occur. There's also a past FTA who gets in trouble with the law again and even the entire bond agency itself fails to bring him in. Joe and Stephanie's relationship seems to be in the off-again stage but Stephanie begins to miss it. Also lots of Ranger yumminess when he comes to demand payment from the previous book.

If you like one Stephanie Plum book, you'll kinda like them all since they keep the same tone. I loved all the Ranger in it since I am a Team Ranger girl. It was a good book to read when I needed some fun and humor for a while.

Last read August 7, 2009.

I found this eighth Stephanie Plum story scary what with Abruzzi coming after Stephanie, although Mabel and her coffee cake and Kloughn and his doughy persona did keep me laughing — Evanovich does such a great job of balancing the humor with the sexy and the scary.

It's more of Stephanie's bumbling, and I did LMAO when Tank showed up with Stephanie's purse and keys after her car was stolen. Again. After that it's bunnies and spiders, snakes and bears, death cooties, cars blowing up, and Ranger is getting hot, hot, HOT while Joe is out of the picture.

And, do remember that not only are there no calories when eating the doughnut holes, but calories don't count if you're eating to celebrate!

In 2003, Hard Eight was nominated for the Lefty Award and won the All About Romance Annual Reader Poll for Most Disappointing Read.

**Content Warnings at End of Review**

I am slowly making my way through the Stephanie Plum books and Hard Eight was the next one on the list. Now, I had read this novel before, but I remembered very little about it and after I finished it, I can see why. There was a lot that I didn’t like about this book and not enough that I enjoyed to make this a memorable reading experience. In a series that is this long, they aren’t all going to be winners and this was not a winner for me.

Hard Eight follows Stephanie Plum as she continues to make rent by bringing in FTAs as a bounty hunter for her cousin Vinnie. Stephanie herself says that she is more lucky than good at her job, but she is not having a lot of luck this week. On top of all that, her parents’ next-door neighbor is asking for Stephanie to look for her daughter, Evelyn, and her granddaughter, Annie. What seems like a simple request quickly turns complicated and Stephanie is put in the path of Eddie Abruzzi, a powerful and unhinged man. As the search for Evelyn turns deadly, Stephanie needs to turn to her fellow bounty hunter Ranger for assistance, even with the sexual tension between them. Soon, Stephanie is being cashed by a man in a rabbit suit and needs to find Evelyn before she dies in Abruzzi’s twisted war games.

This novel delves further into dark territory than some of the novels before this one. It always surprises me how dark the first novel was when I reread it and there were some very dark parts of this novel. Evanovich does attempt to lighten up these areas with humor, like Grandma Mazur with the flashing rabbit and her mother joking after hitting the rabbit with the car. Still, a lot in this novel can leave the reader feeling uncomfortable. It is not material that bothered me, but for readers who are coming to this novel for humor, it might be jarring and uncomfortable.

The thing that really annoyed me about this novel was the way that the two interesting parts of this novel were completely glossed over in a sentence or a paragraph. The one that really gets me is that Ranger and Stephanie FINALLY have sex after books' worth of tension, and it is glassed over in a paragraph. Now I am not one of those “is there spice” readers, but if you are going to build up a sexual encounter for books, I want at least a page before you cut to black. Especially when you are telling me that this man is so good in bed that he might ruin a woman for all other men. I need some details and I know Evaonvich can write a sex scene because she did so for Morelli a couple of books ago. Then, when this same man, KILLS SOMEONE FOR HER, it is discussed in a single sentence and then Stephanie goes to have sex with Morelli. I just…there was so much time in this novel spent with Stephanie spinning her wheels or straight-up failing, I would have liked that to be cut down to dig into the juicy stuff.

The pacing of this novel was off and the storyline was not one that really interested me. Even the climax (literally) was so boring that I forgot it even happened this early in the series. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy myself, but there are definitely better books in the series. This is a 3-star read.

**Content Warnings**

Misogyny, Torture, Sexual harassment, Murder off-page, Hit and Run

**old review**
We are back with Stephanie for all her criminal chasing and car-destroying antics once again. When her parent's neighbor asks Stephanie to find her missing daughter and grandchild who have disappeared and skipped out on a bond. However, like most things in Stephanie's life, it gets very complicated very quickly. Stephanie is dragged into Abruzzi's war games and it leaves spiders, snakes, and stalked by a man in a rabbit suit. Not only that, but there is an FTA she can't capture that keeps running off with her cuffs and once again Stephanie has relationship issues, more specifically the lack of a relationship. However, that soon becomes the least of Stephanie's problems as she tries to find Evelyn and Annie to keep herself alive.

Overall, I liked the plot of this novel. Stephanie is tracking down Evelyn and Annie for the money, but because she is trying to do the right thing. I also liked that events and people in previous novels were tied into this storyline. You didn't need to read the other novels to understand what was going on, but it was nice to make the connections. The ending of the novel however felt very rushed, it seemed like all the action of the novel happened in the last thirty pages. While I like an action-packed ending, I also like a few pages of downswing before the novel ends, which I didn't get here.

**spoilers ahead**

My biggest problem with this novel, how short the sex scene was between Stephanie and Ranger. This has been building for almost two books now and it only gets a page? Now I know I have criticized the Stephanie/Ranger relationship in the past, but after that much build up I wanted at least a three-page affair. I felt robbed and also felt that all that sexual tension went to waste. I will say that I like that Ranger basically told Stephanie to go back to Joe, but since there are nineteen novels I am guessing there is going to be a lot of bouncing between the two men. Now I really can't blame Stephanie, but the further I get in this series and more and more I hope she ends up with Joe. He isn't perfect, but he is good for her.

I'm about to talk about the ending of the book so if you don't want to know how it ended, look away now. The last thirty pages of this novel went by so insanely fast and so much happened that I don't know how I feel about it. Stephanie is threatened, her sister is kidnapped, Stephanie is tortured, and then Valerie drives through a wall to save her, then Ranger goes off and kills Abruzzi. All of that in the last thirty pages and that is how the novel ends. while I love that it is Valerie that saves Stephanie, it all just happens too fast. Now, Ranger killing Abruzzi I liked because is showcases the difference between Ranger and Morelli, I just didn't like it being revealed on the very last page of the novel. You can't just drop that on me and then end the book!

I guess it is on to the next one since I need to know how Stephanie is going to take the killing news the next time she sees Ranger.

Hard Eight by Janet Evanovich
Crime Novel

Another funny book in the Stephanie Plum series!
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Ei...

Stephanie is asked by her parents' next-door neighbor, Mabel Markowitz, to find her granddaughter, Evelyn and great-granddaughter, Annie, who have disappeared. During a messy divorce with her ex-husband, Steven Soter, Evelyn was forced to post a child custody bond, and Mabel used her house as collateral. If Evelyn is not found, then the bond company will foreclose on her house, and the money will be forfeited to Steven. Mabel asks for Stephanie's help, since as a bounty hunter she is the closest thing Mabel knows to a detective. Stephanie is unable to refuse, even though she is not a private investigator.

After interviewing Evelyn's bondsman, Les Sebring, and Steven Soter, Stephanie is baffled; Steven was domineering and abusive, and Evelyn had no friends or other family members she might go to in an emergency, and no one has any idea where she might have gone. Steven seems to be less concerned about Annie's well-being than he is eager to get his hands on the bond money.

While snooping through Evelyn's apartment, Stephanie encounters her landlord, a local crime boss named Eddie Abruzzi. He warns Stephanie that if she knows where Evelyn is, she should tell him, or else he will "declare war" and she will be "the enemy." Stephanie's mentor, Ranger, explains to her that Abruzzi is an avid wargamer, and tends to frame everything in quasi-military terms.

At the Plum home, a new crisis arises when Stephanie's "perfect" sister, Valerie, gets fired from her job at the bank. Stephanie's mother turns to her in desperation, and Stephanie improvises, setting Valerie up with Albert Kloughn, Evelyn's hapless divorce lawyer. Kloughn's practice has been slow in taking off, so he soon becomes attached to Stephanie, following her and Lula around in trying to apprehend fugitives and investigate Evelyn's whereabouts.

As she is trying to track down Evelyn, Stephanie is unnerved to realize that she is being stalked. First, someone leaves a bag of wild snakes attached to her apartment door, then a large tarantula on the seat of her car. Worse, men dressed in animal costumes are following her around. An attack by one of the men destroys Stephanie's car, then a second. When the men try to kidnap her, her mother sees them and impulsively runs over one with her car.

Finally, Stephanie comes home one night and finds Steven Soter on her living room couch, shot through the head. The police investigate, and when she asks Joe Morelli how the body got into her apartment without any of her neighbors noticing, she is horrified by his answer: Soter's body was sawed in half at the waist, and the pieces were carried in with two large bags, then taped back together.

Stephanie realizes that Abruzzi is "conducting psychological warfare against her, believing that she knows where Evelyn is. Ranger asks around and finds out that Abruzzi is searching obsessively for his most prized possession: a medal that once belonged to Napoleon. Abruzzi, besides being a wargamer, is an avid collector of military memorabilia, and believes the medal is a lucky tailsman. Ranger admits he doesn't know why Abruzzi would think Evelyn has the medal, but obviously he does.

Then Ranger informs her that he is collecting on her "debt" to him, and, since Stephanie is on a "break" from her relationship with Morelli, she consents to have sex with Ranger.

With Soter's death, the child custody bond is no longer necessary, and Mabel is relieved to be told that her house is safe, but Evelyn does not resurface. Stephanie eventually tracks her to the airport, before she is about to leave for Miami with Annie. Evelyn explains that Steven was in debt to Abruzzi, and was scared of him, but Abruzzi considered Steven a member of his "command", and so invited Steven and all of his "troops" with small children to Abruzzi's daughter's birthday party. While she was there, Annie wandered into Abruzzi's office and palmed the medal, thinking it was a party favor.

Now that Evelyn is finally free of Steven, she has arranged to sell the medal to a collector in Miami for enough money to start a new life. She knew Abruzzi was threatening Mabel, but she couldn't come out of hiding or go to the police, knowing that "the law moves too slowly for a guy like Abruzzi." Stephanie, seeing how scared and desperate Evelyn is, lets her and Annie go.

When Stephanie returns to her apartment, Abruzzi's men appear in a van, holding Valerie at gunpoint, telling Stephanie to come with them or they'll kill her sister. Stephanie complies, and Valerie is released. Stephanie is brought to Abruzzi at a safe house, and he begins torturing her - searing her arm with a hot poker - for Evelyn's exact location in Miami, which she doesn't know. Before he can do more, Valerie, who has followed them, jumps into the van and drives it through the wall of the house, allowing both her and Stephanie to escape.

Running home, Stephanie calls both Morelli and Ranger. After listening to her story, Ranger excuses himself, and a short time later, Abruzzi is found dead in his car, with a note saying that he has killed himself over some recent business failures. Stephanie is unnerved to know that Ranger has killed Abruzzi to keep her and Evelyn safe, but she and Morelli silently agree not to pursue it any further.



Stephanie is asked by her parents' next-door neighbor, Mabel Markowitz, to find her granddaughter, Evelyn and great-granddaughter, Annie, who have disappeared. During a messy divorce with her ex-husband, Steven Soter, Evelyn was forced to post a child custody bond, and Mabel used her house as collateral. If Evelyn is not found, then the bond company will foreclose on her house, and the money will be forfeited to Steven. Mabel asks for Stephanie's help, since as a bounty hunter she is the closest thing Mabel knows to a detective. Stephanie is unable to refuse, even though she is not a private investigator.

After interviewing Evelyn's bondsman, Les Sebring, and Steven Soter, Stephanie is baffled; Steven was domineering and abusive, and Evelyn had no friends or other family members she might go to in an emergency, and no one has any idea where she might have gone. Steven seems to be less concerned about Annie's well-being than he is eager to get his hands on the bond money.

While snooping through Evelyn's apartment, Stephanie encounters her landlord, a local crime boss named Eddie Abruzzi. He warns Stephanie that if she knows where Evelyn is, she should tell him, or else he will "declare war" and she will be "the enemy." Stephanie's mentor, Ranger, explains to her that Abruzzi is an avid wargamer, and tends to frame everything in quasi-military terms.

At the Plum home, a new crisis arises when Stephanie's "perfect" sister, Valerie, gets fired from her job at the bank. Stephanie's mother turns to her in desperation, and Stephanie improvises, setting Valerie up with Albert Kloughn, Evelyn's hapless divorce lawyer. Kloughn's practice has been slow in taking off, so he soon becomes attached to Stephanie, following her and Lula around in trying to apprehend fugitives and investigate Evelyn's whereabouts.

As she is trying to track down Evelyn, Stephanie is unnerved to realize that she is being stalked. First, someone leaves a bag of wild snakes attached to her apartment door, then a large tarantula on the seat of her car. Worse, men dressed in animal costumes are following her around. An attack by one of the men destroys Stephanie's car, then a second. When the men try to kidnap her, her mother sees them and impulsively runs over one with her car.

Finally, Stephanie comes home one night and finds Steven Soter on her living room couch, shot through the head. The police investigate, and when she asks Joe Morelli how the body got into her apartment without any of her neighbors noticing, she is horrified by his answer: Soter's body was sawed in half at the waist, and the pieces were carried in with two large bags, then taped back together.

Stephanie realizes that Abruzzi is "conducting psychological warfare against her, believing that she knows where Evelyn is. Ranger asks around and finds out that Abruzzi is searching obsessively for his most prized possession: a medal that once belonged to Napoleon. Abruzzi, besides being a wargamer, is an avid collector of military memorabilia, and believes the medal is a lucky tailsman. Ranger admits he doesn't know why Abruzzi would think Evelyn has the medal, but obviously he does.

Then Ranger informs her that he is collecting on her "debt" to him, and, since Stephanie is on a "break" from her relationship with Morelli, she consents to have sex with Ranger.

With Soter's death, the child custody bond is no longer necessary, and Mabel is relieved to be told that her house is safe, but Evelyn does not resurface. Stephanie eventually tracks her to the airport, before she is about to leave for Miami with Annie. Evelyn explains that Steven was in debt to Abruzzi, and was scared of him, but Abruzzi considered Steven a member of his "command", and so invited Steven and all of his "troops" with small children to Abruzzi's daughter's birthday party. While she was there, Annie wandered into Abruzzi's office and palmed the medal, thinking it was a party favor.

Now that Evelyn is finally free of Steven, she has arranged to sell the medal to a collector in Miami for enough money to start a new life. She knew Abruzzi was threatening Mabel, but she couldn't come out of hiding or go to the police, knowing that "the law moves too slowly for a guy like Abruzzi." Stephanie, seeing how scared and desperate Evelyn is, lets her and Annie go.

When Stephanie returns to her apartment, Abruzzi's men appear in a van, holding Valerie at gunpoint, telling Stephanie to come with them or they'll kill her sister. Stephanie complies, and Valerie is released. Stephanie is brought to Abruzzi at a safe house, and he begins torturing her - searing her arm with a hot poker - for Evelyn's exact location in Miami, which she doesn't know. Before he can do more, Valerie, who has followed them, jumps into the van and drives it through the wall of the house, allowing both her and Stephanie to escape.

Running home, Stephanie calls both Morelli and Ranger. After listening to her story, Ranger excuses himself, and a short time later, Abruzzi is found dead in his car, with a note saying that he has killed himself over some recent business failures. Stephanie is unnerved to know that Ranger has killed Abruzzi to keep her and Evelyn safe, but she and Morelli silently agree not to pursue it any further.

This is an action-packed adventure for Stephanie. I love how each book adds a new quirky sidekick for her. This one is a lawyer whose last name (Cloughn) leads to all sorts of confusion and jokes about clowns. The Stephanie-Ranger-Morelli love triangle continues adding a bit of romantic interest to the mystery at hand. Definitely a guilty pleasure and fun reading on a cold, winter night.

Every chapter is very exciting and makes me curious what will happen in the next chapter.

3.5 ⭐️
This book made me laugh so many times. The storyline was a little wonkier than other ones but there’s never a dull moment in this series. I love it.

Damn, I love the characters and this was such a great read, s few different storylines.

Cracker Jacks and geese. A herd of mutant spiders. Clinton/Nixon and a giant rabbit. Ranger. Oh my! Damn, Stephanie, that was a little too close! Another stellar read. Onto "Visions of Sugar Plums." ;)

Hard Eight is another fun, fast paced Stephanie Plum romp. I completely enjoyed the time I spent reading this book. As usual, Joe Morelli and Ranger play prominent roles in the book. I was worried that since Stephanie and Joe broke up in the last book, he would not have much place in this one, but I am happy to say that is not the case. Joe shows up plenty in this book, as does Ranger. This book was a satisfying addition to the series.

Stephanie is approached by her parents' neighbor, Mrs. Markowitz, when her granddaughter goes missing. The granddaughter, Evelyn Soder, and her child, Annie, are missing after a nasty divorce that involved a child custody bond. Stephanie doesn't know anything about child custody bonds, but she decides to look into Evelyn's whereabouts for Mrs. Markowitz as a neighbor. Stephanie's investigating soon puts her in the sights of several unsavory characters, including Evelyn's exhusband, Stephen Soder, and her landlord, Eddie Abruzzi. Abruzzi and his henchmen try to cause harm to Stephanie numerous times, but she persistently keeps trying to find Evelyn. While solving the mystery of Evelyn's whereabouts, Stephanie has numerous encounters with the two men in her life, Joe Morelli, and Ranger. Stephanie is feeling a little lost since her breakup with Joe, and she misses him. Ranger provides complications when he collects on the bargain she made with him in the previous book, and spends a night with Stephanie. Among the characters adding to Stephanie's usual madcap experiences are her family, her pal Lula, and an attorney named Albert Kloughn.

This book was every bit as delightful as the previous Stephanie Plum novels. Even with their relationship seemingly doomed for now, Joe Morelli is still concerned with Stephanie's welfare, and shows up plenty in this book. Ranger is in his usual appealing, mysterious mode, and since I am a Morelli fan, I was surprised that I enjoyed the interlude between Ranger and Stephanie. I look forward to reading the subsequent books and finding out what these characters will do next.