I think I would rather be a man than a god. We don’t need anyone to believe in us. We just keep going anyhow. It’s what we do.

Finally done after 2 months! i was really sick one week of them, and really cold in other days that i couldn't read a physical book, but we are here!
I talked about Neil Gaiman on trains, in phones, in the streets, in chats, in goodreads messages, in college to dudes who didn't know what reading is!
I talked about The Sandman to anyone who would listen, and luckily for them at the time when the tales were fresh, i could really tell them tales really good, and they were happy to hear all of it, some even attempted reading it, but it's a really tough comic series to beginners with the English Language.

My fasting will be over in 30 minutes (First Atheist in history who fast with Muslims) so i won't be writing the Arabic Review now, But yes i read this in Arabic, it was the Author's preferred text, Extended but really good, he did really well in returning back to this novel and adding what he intended to publish before his publisher told him to cut the novel.
A guy like Neil Gaiman gives you a novel of 1500 pages, just publish it please? Don't make that mistake, Nagib Mahfuz was met with the same ask and he won a freaking Nobel prize for the same novel they told him to cut lol

Now to the Novel, not sure if this part will be full of spoilers.
Gods everywhere, next to the trashcan? a drunk god! In a shared apartment that looks dirty? 4 gods, but keep quiet one of them is sleeping!
In a prison cell? a deceiving god!
Up there a falcon in the sky? Not a falcon sorry, it's just another god

I am getting ready to start the second book in the series and figured it was time to actually write a review for the first. It is such an epic read and so much has been said it about it already that I am at a loss for words on what should be said. I guess stating that I loved it would be a good starting point. It wasn’t too much or too little, it was exactly everything I wanted and needed it to be. My favorite aspect of the read was how it felt like a bunch of short stories rolled into one big one and those shorts were easy to follow and even easier to place back into the big puzzle.

The author has an amazing talent that brings the story to life in one’s mind so perfectly that it hurts to say goodbye at the end. He is a one of a kind storyteller and I am really looking forward to the next book. You can’t let my reading of other books in between make you think differently. When I happen upon something I enjoy as much as I have this first book I want to stretch out the good as long as I can allow myself. I guess you would call it delayed gratification. I know it is going to be good and I want to have that to look forward to as long as possible.

Here’s to the next being just as good as the first. *fingers crossed*

American Gods: Book and Amazon series fail to impress
Originally posted at Fantasy Literature
Gaiman has a huge and enthusiastic following, so I figure there must be good reason for that. I really enjoyed his SANDMAN comic series as well as his books The Graveyard Book, Stardust, and Ocean at the End of the Lane a few years back. However, my first impression of Neverwhere was that it seemed to go nowhere despite a magical London setting, and the meandering plot and fizzling ending of American Gods was a major disappointment considering how many awards the book won.

However, since moving to London I’ve been on journey to rediscover what fans love about Gaiman’s work, and after listening to Good Omens, Neverwhere, and Anansi Boys, I gave the full-cast of American Gods another chance. Moreover, I discovered that Amazon had produced an original 8-part miniseries recently, so I thought this would be another angle to explore.

The conceit that all gods old and new rise and fall depending on the number and intensity of their followers is neat. Setting that on a road trip across small-town middle America is even more enticing, and constantly hinting that an epic battle of old and new gods is brewing builds a lot of anticipation on the readers’ part.

But what we actually get is a very episodic story that introduces dozens of characters representing old gods from a host of different mythologies, including Norse, Egyptian, Afro-Caribbean, Germanic, Native American, and others. Despite all these enticing ingredients, the final dish just didn’t deliver. In particular, the main character Shadow is a cipher, a brooding and melancholy ex-con who comes out of jail only to discover his wife recently dead in a car crash. Cut adrift, he reluctantly accepts the offer to be bodyguard and muscle for a shifty old grifter named Mr. Wednesday. This provides the vehicle for Englishman Gaiman to explore a series of small-town settings and characters and explore the heart of America. As others have observed, he does a decent job capturing this essence, both the fundamental decency of folks and also the deteriorating economic conditions that face many small towns.

What is painfully lacking is a forward-moving plot to build momentum from these side-trip adventures as Mr. Wednesday visits a series of his allies and cronies while committing grifts and cons along the way, something I think Gaiman feels is a very American tradition. It seems like Shadow is forever getting caught and facing death only to be saved at the eleventh hour by another ‘deus ex plotica’ (my own invention), and then hopping back in the car for the next encounter. We finally learn the overarching plot in the closing acts, and it sheds light on the actions of Mr. Wednesday and his cronies, but after all the build-up about the ultimate battle between old gods and new, it was a huge let-down.

Another aspect that just didn’t work for me was the surprisingly explicit sex and steady stream of profanity. I’m hardly a delicate snowflake, but I didn’t see what this really added to the story. I almost felt that he deliberately ratcheted this up to give the book a more ‘gritty Americana’ feel. That might work for a book dedicated to the dark underbelly of America like the books of James Ellroy, but it didn’t seem to fit this story.

I listened to the 10th Anniversary full-cast audiobook edition, which includes 12,000 additional words and is the author’s preferred text. The various voice actors do excellent work and even Gaiman himself adds some narration and his voice is very charming. I just wish it were in the service of a better story.

As for the Amazon series, its certainly in the recent mold of original streaming series like HBO’s Game of Thrones and Netflix’s Altered Carbon. There is a lot of intense and bloody violence, profanity, and sex/nudity galore. It’s clear that producers for these shows have greater license to show and say what they want, and also are allowed to stray quite far from the original source material, like Amazon’s The Man in the High Castle. The 8 episodes of Season 1 of American Gods, start out with Gaiman’s source material and storyline, but expand the back stories of the many of the side-stories that gave the book its very episodic road-trip feel. The cinematography is excellent, and the actors do good work, especially Ian McShane as the wily and wizened Mr. Wednesday.

As you can guess from it being labeled Season 1, there is of course a Season 2 that has already been commissioned, though the directors of Season 1 have left due to creative differences with the studio, so the new season may have a different feel. In any case, the drama basically highlighted the flaws of the book in my opinion, namely the glaring omission of the Christian God and Jesus Christ, who by any measure are the dominant religious figures in the US.

While Jesus Christs (yes, plural) make an appearance in the drama series unlike the book, it is very peripheral and doesn’t address the basic concept of the story - that gods come into existence and derive their power from the number of believers. If that is the case, then all the obscure and ancient gods should be more like mosquitos (how many people do you know that worship Odin or Bast or the Anansi these days). Where are Jesus, Muhammad, Jehovah, Buddha, etc, who should by rights be infinitely more powerful than these minor dieties and crush them like bugs with a glance. Instead Gaiman gives us Techno Boy and Mr. World as the main examples of New Gods, but I never bought that conceit. So revisiting the story just highlighted this fundamental flaw once again.

I’ve read a lot of divided opinion about American Gods - some readers love it and consider it Gaiman’s best book, and others were unimpressed like me. Some have suggested that his most iconic work is his 76-volume SANDMAN comic epic, and I would agree with that. Now there is both the book and miniseries to compare and form your own opinions.

Simply Amazing! Many bizzare and sometimes macabre stories within a story for a mixture of mystery, (gruesome) sex, and laugh out loud humor that is thoroughly enjoyable. I must admit that a couple of the early stories were a bit confusing for me, but it all came together in the end.

Probably not for everyone.

n  Update: April 30, 2017 - Well Yikes! - Watched Episode 1 of the series on STARZ - And all I can say is Yikes! (again) OMGOSH! and Holy Crap! It was Wild!n

'American Gods' is an unusual literary fantasy of epic proportions. I enjoyed it, but I also completely agree with some of the complaints of those reviewers who didn't finish it. It isn't a tightly-plotted novel. To really 'get' it, I think you have to have some education in ancient mythology, and of course, one needs to be familiar with multi-universe fantasy movie conventions. Otherwise, the book may seem only an overlong road-trip diary with too many confusing and pointless activities with fantasy stuff going on.

The slow meandering plot of 'American Gods' captures the basic spiritual decency which underlines the heartland(s) of an American melted-pot society, even if this decency is hidden under our mercenary and mercurial mayfly impulses.

The main character and reformed ex-convict bank robber Shadow Moon is a reluctant human fixer/driver for an Americanized Norse god aspect of Odin, or as he now calls himself, Wednesday, his alias. Wednesday, like all gods, exists only because people believe he exists. But he is an Americanized copy of the original Norse God Odin, though, brought into existence and shaped into form by American thoughts. Other Odins live, too, each culturally shaped by accumulated local beliefs. However this is the story of America's Odin and his, er, Passion.

Wednesday is desperate - he thinks his existence is threatened by America's new gods of pop technology, created by the beliefs of many fervent youthful believers. Wednesday/Odin is trying to rally the older gods for a war against America's new adored gods.

While driving and being driven by Wednesday, Shadow meets many African and Indian (from both continents) gods along with many Norse gods - all tweaked into Americanized aspects of themselves. These old gods were reshaped by our unique Midwestern smalltowns, where immigrants first settled, so this is where these more ancient Americanized gods happen to feel most comfortable. Big cities are too young, full of believers in the new gods of science and technology.

The third-generation of believers, mostly Big City Americans, no longer practice, much less sacrifice, in the old ways of the ancient rites to their newer gods. If something isn't done to arrest the growing power of the new gods, the old gods will soon be entirely gone from America! (The new gods actually are under the same threat, gentle reader, because they will soon be entirely forgotten also by Americans - poor VHS tape god, poor IBM 8088 personal computer lordling, goodbye broadcast TV demigod...just saying.)

Neil Gaiman highlights a few actual and unusual but popular Americana tourism spots in the novel which actually exist in the real world. At the same time, Gaiman is amusing himself, and us, gentle reader, with an embroidered and invented odd-god mishmash that mirrors the relaxed spiritual melting pot American culture has made of world religions. Hollywood movies have laid a heavy hand over religious education in America as well.

Americans do makeovers on everything, including what was once sacred and supposedly unchanging and eternal. We don’t do tradition well. Point taken, Mr. Gaiman.



Neil Gaiman actually has a wonderfully playful approach to writing and inventing, synthesizing ancient myths and modern popular culture, creating new myths from the oral tales passed down from the oldest civilizations of the world. However, some story aspects seem to come straight out of Gaiman's subconscious mind, which are built on his actual life experiences and travels, and seem also very Jungian. Other elements and characters are built out of the existential angst I think most of us feel at times.

I think Gaiman is an academic-level student of myths and awfulness, maybe from trying to figure out why evil is created and maintained by some people. Most young adults become terrified and disappointed by the Real World at some point, once they leave the safe cocoon of toddler childhood. Some of us study ancient myths and religions in an effort to learn why many societies are awful at times, me included. However, studying ancient literature can add to the sense of existential misery because we learn chaos, death and evil has been haunting and scaring humanity exactly the same for 10,000 years. But myths give people a sense of understanding universal mysteries, however faulty, and maybe even an acceptance of the terrors of death on occasion, if one can suspend real life knowledge and ignore that many delusions are common human brain mindfarts. However, even though science is tearing down superstitions, myth is to literature as foundations are to houses.

I study myths all of the time. Any student of mythology can see that the various gods fill somewhat the same roles as humans, mirroring our own inner demons and angels. But they are each oddly twisted and re-named by regional culture, and yes, local technology and science.

Gaiman imagines that people can make their gods really live through their collective cultural beliefs. He posits immigrants can carry living old-world gods with them, hitchhikers in their minds, when they move on to other countries.

America is peopled entirely by immigrants from the world, and, bumpy though the process of becoming a citizen may be, eventually most people are assimilated and changed by the culture of America. If they carried old living gods within them from their previous culture, the new changes made by contact with America's culture would be profound! Our American melting pot of cherry-picked immigrant beliefs is one characteristic most visitors can see traveling about our vast country, tweaked and re-worked into a thousand minor variations across the many regions of America. Stir in the basically true stereotypes of our restless boredom with anything traditional and the constant seeking of the new and shiny for relief of what most Americans see as the dull continuity of daily life, and it becomes plainly visible - American cultural vacuity!

American culture is always in a fast-forward bubble, an ever-changing national soap opera with a million past episodes, a new one shown daily. Whatever issue it is that has us all in a passion, it usually engenders a loud, vulgar and earnest cultural response that is quickly done in a week or two. Whatever captures our attention so overwhelmingly mostly is completely forgotten in about a decade. Our culture is dreadfully shallow even while it is popular, often painted in bright Technicolor, with contorted silliness, but often our attention spans have the longevity of mayflies.

Traditional gods really do not have a sturdy place in daily American life. Most of us forget them except on holidays or when expressing sympathy. We individually often change religions as if we were changing shoes. But we DO have faith, of sorts. Most of us think something might be out there. Maybe. And we are a moral society, overall.

Gaiman doesn't say it explicitly in the book, but I think he shows affection and amazement towards American culture in all of its flavors, while at the same time he sees we are afflicted by the usual ills of humanity which are everywhere in the world. I suspect he has also noticed the persistent attitude and pull of American culture to change itself completely into a 3.8 million square-mile commercial Disneyland. 'American Gods' is a bittersweet story about America with a lot of ironic humor.

I thought he captured the overt pride we have in making deals and trades. Ebay and Craig's List are HUGE enterprises, as are other similar buying/selling/trading websites - even Amazon enables third-party deals. We are at heart a merchant/consumer nation of mostly independent entrepreneurs, gamblers and reckless adventurers (even if only in our hopeful desires while daydreaming at our corporate deskjobs) who nonetheless, have to depend on each other for some sustenance. Americans are truly more like cats than dogs, culturally, in my opinion.

But we are also a perverse people in dealmaking, gentle reader, and Gaiman saw that too, I think. Although we often have a deep respect for those who offer a genuine reliance on trustworthy morality - you trust me, you give me your faithful service, and I'll give you something in fair exchange in return - sometimes we enjoy taking advantage of naivety. We are a people who admires the dark version of trading, too - we often are openly in awe of the unscrupulous con artist and trickster with their immoral theft of our resources and their taking of our autonomy, perhaps by using, for example, our willingness for unexamined faith and affection. Con artists present themselves as we desire to be. Image trumps reality.

If we create gods shaped in our cultural beliefs, should we be shocked when they reflect and possibly amplify our national character for good and ill?

Gaiman, an Englishman, is an astute observer of us Americans in most of our formations, permutations and contradictions. He may be disappointed in some American failures of mindfulness and intelligence - aren't we all - but I think he also has much faith in us, too, as he seems to admire ordinary Americans in spite of (and because of) our sometimes provincial simplistic morals and blind faith. At least, I think he wants to believe, even if sometimes there is nothing but possible Shadows on cave walls to see. However, frankly, I am uncertain if it is the con artist or the saints among us he finds most satisfying...

Wikipedia on Norse mythology:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse...

Wikipedia on Africa mythology:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradi...

Wikipedia on Hindu mythology:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindu...

American Native American mythology:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mytho...

Carl Jung's psychology theories:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jung%...

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

n  “Yes, it’s still God’s Own Country. The only question is, which gods?”n

All Shadow wanted to do upon his early release from prison was get home to his beloved wife and start his new life working for his best buddy. He didn’t plan for their untimely demise (with bestie's peen in wifey’s mouth, no less) in a gruesome automobile accident. Broke and alone, Shadow accepts a job offer from a mysterious, elderly stranger known as Mr. Wednesday. And then the tale begins.

Gak! I don’t even know where to start with this. I’ve had much success with Gaiman’s work in the past (so much so he’s made it to my pretty limited list of “Favorite Authors”), but I admit to actively avoiding this one for years – mainly due to the fact that just the idea of 652 pages makes my brain bleed unless I’m in the right mood. But then the library dangled free crap in front of me and added this to its recommendation list of books that might “Push Your Shelf” so I bit the bullet.

And what did I find? Well, for a good chunk of time I was reminded a bit of one of my old faves . . . .

n  n

After meeting Shadow and Wednesday, a road trip of epic proportions commenced which introduced a bevy of additional characters into the mix. Characters such as a six-and-a-half foot tall leprechaun, a talking raven who refused to say “nevermore,” three strange sisters as well as a pretty decent checkers player who got his kicks betting on the right to bash his opponent's brains out, pagans unfamiliar with the goddess Ēostre, Lucille Ball talking through the television set, bus riders and a hitchhiker, a very Andy Taylor type of constable and one dead wife who just couldn’t seem to go away. American Gods became reminiscent of Seinfeld in the way that it seemed like nothing was really happening, aside from the fact that the reader continually was receiving reminders that . . . .

n  n

Or something like that.

I was a little concerned that I wouldn’t be able to let go and enjoy this story, mainly because I didn’t vibe with Shadow right away due to his proclivity for coin tricks which had me picturing . . . .

n  n

Blech. I was also a tad apprehensive that I wouldn’t be able to stop comparing American Gods to one of my blasphemous favorites, and since this wasn’t happening on the Starz television program . . . .

n  n

My husband wasn’t interested in tuning in on my behalf and telling me whether or not this puppy squisher would be worth my time.

Since I read it in roughly 24 hours, I’d say it was a winner. Now I’m not going to go out on a limb and say this is a book for everyone because it most definitely isn’t. I’m not lying when I say nearly the entire book is all about the build-up as you follow that one main player . . . .

n  n

But Gaiman’s words are smooth as butter and he once again works his magic weaving an oh-so-elaborate spider web of characters. That’s how it earns 4 Stars.

I can’t say I’ll be reading the second in this series anytime in the near future, but I have a feeling Norse Mythology will happen sooner rather than later for one simple fact . . . .

n  n

Book #4 in the “Push Your Shelf” challenge. Thanks library for making me get off my ass and finally open this one!

n  n

Now for a bitch session. Last night I did, in fact, finish reading this book and used the app to post a “Currently Reading” update for my next selection. Then I started acquiring “likes” on a “Finished Reading” status I DID NOT post . . . .

n  n

Get your shit together, Goodreads. I have a hard enough time remember which books I need to review. I don’t need you mucking things up even worse for me!

2ish stars.

Big news - I added a whole star since my last reading way back in the day because it was more amusing this time around.
Verdict: still probably in my top 5 most overrated books ever.

Here's the thing. Nothing happens. Gaiman spins an incredibly long yarn that never actually takes form. There's no character development. The protagonist, Shadow, tragically, was born without a personality. It's the dullest road trip ever, without a destination. Even when there's death or mystery or whatever, it's just blah. Except for the shock factor of the man-eating vagina, I guess, which isn't necessarily a compliment.

It feels more like a gimmick than an allegory. An elevator pitch expanded into a 600-page novel.

For a book that Gaiman intended to be "a thriller, and a murder mystery, and a romance, and a road trip," it is more or less unsuccessful in all those areas.

But it is occasionally amusing. :)

Posted in Mr. Philip's Library

This a strange book. But in a good way. For those of you familiar with Neil Gaiman's Sandman graphic novel you will understand that comment. It is a trip through America with the main character of Shadow and his mysterious employer Mr. Wednesday and their attempt to find the old gods and prepare for the conflict with the new gods. More than that I will not say since it would be a spoiler. It was fun trying to identify which characters were which gods. I would recommend this to anyone who likes to read a different type of story and parts of it are quite thought provoking. If you liked Sandman then give this one a try and I think you will appreciate it, as I did.

My first thought on this book:



This is a 2.5 to 3 star book max for me. I am pretty sure this will be my last Neil Gaiman book. I have tried two others (Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch and The Ocean at the End of the Lane) and one of those was okay (Omens) and one of them I couldn't stand (Ocean).

I realize that my feelings on Gaiman and his books are contrary to popular opinion, but they are just not my cup of tea. They are slow. They seem intentionally odd and artsy. By the end, I just don't care anymore. I think trying 3 of his books shows I have given him a good chance, but now it may be time to part ways.

American Gods has its interesting storylines (that is why I have rounded up to 3 stars) but overall, I didn't see the point. I expected some really interesting stuff to happen between all the Gods and mortals, but instead I got sometimes boring, sometimes unintelligible speeches, or really odd occurrences that come out of nowhere and make no sense. In general, I am not really sure why any of it happened other than Gaiman spewed forth some really weird stream of consciousness (This was the same way I felt about The Ocean at the End of the Lane).

So - if you love Gaiman, keep on reading! But, don't fault me for not caring for is style after several tries, it is just how I feel and I don't think it is going to get any better.

I would never have thought that a book that in its early stages seemed to lack direction entirely would turn out this good. Certainly not that the tendency of atrocious, bizarre, unnecessary scenes would be replaced by the excellent communication of genuinely moving myths.

There is considerable artistic greatness in this book. Just like in Neverwhere, there is also a scarcely-above-mediocre plot and an extremely bland protagonist, but overall, the sheer writing talent of Neil Gaiman, along with the incorporation of half a world's worth of mythological legends, was enough to tip the scales in his favour in my mind.

I'll give up the rest of my review space to the author himself, who describes and introduces the book perfectly:

If Neverwhere was about the London underneath, this would be about the America between, and on-top-of, and around. It's an America with strange mythic depths. Ones that can hurt you. Or kill you. Or make you mad.

It's about the soul of America, really. What people brought to America; what found them when they came; and the things that lie sleeping beneath it all.

‎
إن كنت مهتما بالأساطير والخرافات والأديان القديمة
والروايات الحديثة سريعة الإيقاع ‏
فإنك ستحب هذه الرواية

n
"If you are to survive, you must believe."
‎"Believe what?" asked Shadow. "What should ‎I believe?"
He stared at Shadow, the buffalo man, and he ‎drew himself up huge, and his eyes filled with fire. ‎He opened his spit-flecked buffalo mouth and it ‎was red inside with the flames that burned inside him, ‎under the earth.
‎"Everything," roared the buffalo man!
‎

::::::::::::::

هي ملحمة خرافية عن الآلهة الذين يعيشون بيننا متنكرين على الأرض‏
ولكنها ملحمة جد عصرية
ملائمة تماما لأن تكون أمريكية

وهؤلاء الآلهة أشبه ما يكونوا بأبطال خارقين
منهم من حالفه الحظ وصار قوي مهاب
ومنهم من يعيش في الظل
ومنهم من يعيش على أمجاد ماضية لم يبق له منها سوى ذكرياتها‏
ومنهم من صار نسيا منسيا

ولكنهم الآن مواجهون بطائفة من الآلهة الجدد
وعليهم دحضهم والقضاء عليهم
وإلا فما سيحدث لن يحمد عقباه

::::::::::::::

الفانتازيا تكاد تطلق عليها فانتازيا سوداء
فهي مصحوبة بالرعب في هذه الرواية

فالجثث تتحرك وتتكلم ‏
ولها دور هام في الأحداث
والنساء يتحولن قططا

وكثير كثيييير من الغرائبيات



::::::::::::::

الكاتب يعتمد في القص هنا على الرؤى والأحلام بشكل مكثف
وباكتمالها
لن تستطيع إلا أن تحب شادو
ضخم الجثة..طيب القلب..كسير الفؤاد
رجل الظل
والبطل الخفي
صاحب ردود الأفعال غير المتوقعة
فهو رجل ماتت المرأة التي أحب
واكتشف خيانتها مع صديقه المقرب
ودخل السجن وخرج منه
ولم يعد يبق له سوى خيالات وجثث وماضٍ موجع
ورغم ذلك تصاحبه زوجته الميتة ‏
جثة متحللة وعفريتا من نوع خاص

::::::::::::::

ربما لو كانت الرواية أقصر قليلا لحازت على نجمة أخرى‏
ولكن طولها أمللني في بعض الأوقات‏

::::::::::::::

يضيعك المؤلف بين متاهاته
يحرضك على اطلاق خيالك لأبعد مدى

وأبدا لن تنتهي القصة كما تتوقع

When the people came to America they ‎brought us with
them. They brought me and Loki and Thor, ‎Anansi and the Lion-God, Leprechauns and Cluracans and ‎Banshees, Kubera and Frau Holle and Ashtaroth, and they ‎brought you.‎

We rode here in their minds, and we took root. ‎We traveled
with the settlers to the new lands across the ‎ocean.
‎"The land is vast. Soon enough, our people ‎abandoned us, remembered us only as creatures of the ‎old land, as things that had not come with them to the ‎new. Our true believers passed on, or stopped believing, and ‎we were left, lost and scared and dispossessed, to get ‎by on what little smidgens of worship or belief we could ‎find...
n

after a number of days on the #StruggleBus, i'm setting this aside.

for now, anyway.

it seems awfully preoccupied with man-eating vaginas and fatal, blowjob-related vehicular mishaps and post-mortem conjugal visitation.

by a lady zombie.

in other words, stuff het teenaged boys find super-exciting?

...not so much for an adult homosexual at war with a malignant narcissist with horrendous taste in gifs and/or his own soul-sucking holiday despair.