When Broken Glass Floats: Growing Up Under the Khmer Rouge

This book is a first hand horrifying account of what happened in Cambodia during the time of control under the Khmer Rouge. During that time both of Him's parents and 5 siblings were either killed by the Khmer Rouge or died because of such a weakened state due to lack of nourishment and torturous living and working conditions. Her determination for survival and that of her siblings that did make it out of Cambodia is inspirational. This book is a testimony to the human spirit and what can be endured and overcome.

Now living and thriving in Oregon through her work with PTSD of survivors from the killing fields of Cambodia, Chanrithy is a shining example of someone who not only survived but actually triumphed over some of the most horrible atrocities imaginable. She epitimizes the quote found in the book, "When good appears to lose, it is an opportunity to be patient and become like God."

I very much enjoyed learning more about this horrific period in Cambodia's history that I'd previously never heard of. The story is incredible. I'm amazed by the author's survival and success and I had no idea people could survive the conditions described. Some of the details were a little too detailed for me, so awful and so inhumane. This account did help me appreciate the freedoms I experience daily even more. It makes me proud that our country and its citizens welcome refugees.

Times goes on and so does war. In the late 1970's it was the efforts of Cambodian families (mostly its surviving women and children) to escape the killing and enslavement brought about by the Khmer Rouge. This memoir, written through the eyes of a girl during her childhood, is a disturbing snapshot of what it was like for kids to survive fear, starvation, sickness, death, labor camps, loss, isolation, and confusion as they were moved from place to place, treated as no better than work tools, while desperately wanting to feel safe and happy as they were before they were forced from their homes.

Once again, we learn what it means to survive the unthinkable, to be starving, to do with next to nothing, to try to understand how to survive, to stay in contact even when separated, to stick together during the worst times, to make new allies, to become an extended family, to sacrifice for the sick, and to honor the dead. It's a chilling tale and one that makes the reader wonder what they would do under the circumstances.

If I have any disappointment about the book, it's that there was almost nothing about the historical, political, and economic aspects of the conflicts, particularly the connections between the forces at war: Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, the US, and the Khmer Rouge. I would have liked to understand what was going on the theaters around the labor camps depicted in the book.

"Chea, how come good doesn't win over evil? Why did the Khmer Rouge win if they are bad people?"

Chea answered: "Loss will be God's, victory will be the devil's." When good appears to lose, it is an opportunity for one to be patient, and become like God. "But not very long, p'yoon srey [younger sister]," she explained, and referred to a Cambodian proverb about what happens when good and evil are thrown together into the river of life. Good is symbolized by klok, a type of squash, and evil by armbaeg, shards of broken glass. "The good will win over the evil. Now, klok sinks, and broken glass floats. But armbaeg will not float long. Soon klok will float instead, and then the good will prevail."

I found this memoir brilliant. Chanrithy Him was ten years old when the Khmer Rouge came to power in her native Cambodia. She was 14 years old when the Vietnamese army invaded Cambodia and drove the Khmer Rouge back into the jungle. Finally, she was 16 years old when she and her remaining family immigrated to the United States. The writing might be clumsy at times, but the author never failed to make me understand the feeling of helplessness, starvation and resilience. She introduced me to numerous members of her family and to Cambodian customs. She brought me to the killing fields and the moments where she ran for her life. She made me realize what measures we're capable of going to when deprived of food. There are several occasions described by Chanrithy Him (nicknamed Athy) that, in my opinion, really stood out:

- Due to starvation, Athy's three-year old brother Vin suffers from dysenteric diarrhea. The December nights are cold and the family is huddled together to sleep. Vin wants to sleep in the arms of his mother, so that he won't feel cold. She pushes him away, announcing that he shouldn't ‘make his brothers and sisters sick too.’ When Vin is dying in the hospital, his last wish was to see his mother one more time. Mother is too starved, she doesn't have the energy to walk to the hospital, needless to say the energy to see him die. It's awful how a despotic government can distort human relationships.

- Than, the only teenage son of the family goes fishing to supplement the meager rations given by the Khmer Rouge. He hands several fish to his mother, two for his younger brother, and one fish for each sister. For himself, he keeps four. The youngest sister, Avy quickly devours her fish. She asks Than for a little fish. He ignores her question and continues talking about his adventurous fishing. Avy asks him a second time, then Than throws a piece of the fish at her, yelling "Stubborn!" The fish falls through the crack of the floor. Avy runs out of the hut, searching underneath it for the fish piece. Like most traditional cultures, the Cambodian culture was also dominated by man. Again, starvation distorted family relationships.

- The author's mother is very sick. Having witnessed so much death already and feeling now numb about it, Athy wonders if she will cry when her mother dies. Hard labor prevents Athy from seeing her mother regularly. When a girl comes to Athy to tell her that her mother was thrown into a well alive, Athy runs into the woods and cries. However, cliché this may sound, this incident showed me how strong love can be. We may not always feel it strongly, but it's always beneath our skin.

- Thore Meta is Athy's brigade leader in several labor camps. Though a Khmer Rouge, she is understanding and kind. When Athy's sister Chea is dying, Thore Meta allows her to visit the family as much as possible. When Athy is sick from exhaustion, she let's her have a proper rest. This shows that whatever we are called, doesn't necessarily define us. It is our actions that speak louder than titles and names.

- After the Vietnamese army entered Cambodia, the Khmer Rouge went into hiding and would attack several villages unexpectedly. Everybody in the family except the youngest child, four-year old Map, goes looking for food in the village's surrounding rice fields and woods. Athy is together with her eldest sister Ra, when she hears sudden gunshots. They hurry back into the village for Map. While Ra wraps up their belongings, Athy searches for Map. He's found crying amidst frantic people running for their lives. In a rush they divide the load among the three of them and Map is to carry a mat twice his height. The siblings start running, but little Map can't keep up with them. Frustrated, he drops the mat and runs back towards the village. I can’t imagine the trauma any person under the Khmer Rouge experienced, even less that of a four-year-old. The children living through war are truly victims.

- In one of the refugee camps, Athy attends English classes and is very studious. After receiving a test back, with a score of 19 out of 20, she realizes that the teacher made a mistake. She goes to the teacher, who changes the grade and gives her the deserved full points. One of Athy's classmates asks for her test paper and she starts copying Athy's answers. She goes to the teacher and to receive her full points. Soon other children follow her lead. The teacher calls for the principal. The principal demands who instigated the cheating. Athy tries to explain herself, but the principal immediately points his finger at her and starts accusing her. Athy is surprised when she hears her own voice defending herself and talking against an elder: "If you don't know the truth, don't accuse me of inciting the cheating. If you're stupid, don't act like you know. You are an adult, act like one. If not, no one will respect you, even though you're the principal." I was completely in awe of Athy's strength, courage, sense of justice and maturity, at only 15. Though she suffered a war and starvation, there was something in her that refused to give up, which sharpened her mind, shaped her views and gave her clarity to what she wanted out of life: learn medicine to be able to cure the people in need. I admire her a lot.

This book didn't try to impress me, didn't try to seek out my pity, didn't try to sensationalize anything. It just told me about life and what happened to Athy and her family under the rule of a tyrannical government and starvation. Furthermore, this book gave me an idea of how the people in North Korea might be starving. Four years under the Khmer Rouge, still left the Cambodia today with a lot of open wounds.

When I first started reading this book, I was put off by the stilted writing. I ended up being glad that Chanrithy Him is a survivor, not a writer, because if she had been able to express herself better, I might not have been able to get through this book depicting the horrible events under the Khmer Rouge. Horrifying and illuminating.

At times hard to read, at times inspiring When Broken Glass Floats is a heartbreaking story, one of the best literature to have come out of the Khmer Rouge. The present tense of this unforgettable memoir combined with the vivid memories of the author created a horrifying atmosphere in all its details around me throughout the reading, making me jump at unexpected sounds like they were the bombs that sent Cambodia's people fleeing and cherishing every grain of rice on my plate wishing I could have given my bounty to those helpless Cambodian children who survived on leaves and sometimes the rare delicacy of insects when promised food rations never arrived despite the long hours they suffered in the fields.
Despite being a depressing story as some people have described it, this is an important book. Many people before this may have never heard of Cambodia's plight, everything their people have suffered from, or even be able to locate Cambodia on a map. Along with other memoirs that have been ignited by this bloody era in their history, When Broken Glass Floats has highlighted our ignorance and taught us what suffering we will never experience truly is. Lessons about the will to survive, family, governing, and that while evil may reign at some points in our lives the goodness in people will always prevail have been taught at a much greater scale in this book then outside of our comfortable lives we could have imagined. Ignorance to global affairs outside of our own countries have sheltered us from the painful truths of people's suffering and yet knowing is better than remaining a child all one's life and is essential to creating better lives for future generations still steeped in trauma and poverty in Cambodia. That is why we open these pages, why we listen to this story with not just our eyes and ears but with our hearts, why as human beings we sympathize with the horrors this country has been through, and why the author spent the time to pour out her grief and hope onto these manuscripts. Through her well delivered story and plea broken glass has sunken for good in her soul as well as mine.

It's difficult to write a review for this book as the subject matter moves me almost beyond words. I've visited Cambodia twice now; seen firsthand the devastation that the Khmer Rouge left on this country. I've walked the killing fields, seen the sunken pits (newly exhumed mass graves), the execution trees, the piles of bones and skulls. I've heard personal stories of families affected by the KR--what devastation and destruction that part of history brought an entire culture. It's a part of history that needs to be told and Chanrithy Him has done it an excellent job of recanting her experience. I would highly recommend this book.

You know, I've had the opportunity to visit many parts of Germany, including the concentration camp at Dachau, and to have lived for six months in Bosnia as they were rebuilding after the war, but there is something about Cambodia that has attached itself to my heart, perhaps you'll understand why too after reading this book. . .

I will keep this book from my Cambodia travels. Well written memoir of a woman who survived the Khmer Rouge genocide with some of her family members. Local people can borrow it!