This was probably the worst Sarah Dessen book I've ever read. None of the characters are likable except for Boo, her mother's friend who lives next door and she barely plays a part in the story. I expect not to like the protagonist of a Dessen novel but I really hated Caitlin. I was wondering exactly how dumb she could get after stupid antic after stupid antic. I know that she was 'broken' after having her sister run away but the sister was going to be at college anyway. That should have been explained way more. And I was just wondering again and again what Caitlin saw in Rogerson. He was a jerk, nothing more. Except that somehow he was a genius too. Who sold drugs and hit her. Amazing combo. Her family and friends warned her about the guy but she still saw him anyway.

I didn't like her friend either, Rina. I usually like the best friends in Dessen novels. And I usually like the Dessen boys but this one I despised. He had a cameo in Lock and Key btw as Marshall's best friend.

Like I said this was a boring book. The worst Dessen book ever. If you want a good Dessen book about a girl with 'problems' read This Lullaby. It's a million times better.

Warning: contains spoilers and language.

After reading three of Sarah Dessen's books (Lock and Key, Someone Like You and Keeping the Moon), I liked her writing, her storytelling and her characters well enough to start calling her one of my favorite authors.

That has changed with Dreamland.

Okay, here's a quick summary: Caitlin is the younger of two sisters in the O'Koren family, meaning that she has always had her older sister Cassandra's (shortened as Cass) standards to live up to, succeeding only in running up second all the time because Cass is like, perfect or some shit. So when Cass runs away with some guy she met at the beach to start her life anew (she gave up going to Yale for that. YALE. I'm sorry but no) it leaves the entire family in shock and disarray, especially Caitlin who always assumed Cass to be the perfect role model and what not. Eventually Caitlin's parents accept it and start trying to live their lives normally again (even if the mom goes a little nuts and starts buying lots of creepy-looking dolls), but Caitlin for some reason starts to feel really messed up and so proceeds to do really messed up things, like getting high all the time and dating this drug-dealing, dreadlocks-sporting bad boy called Rogerson even though she has cheerleading to distract her, which her best friend Rina forces her to try out for.

Now the plot of this story basically revolves around Caitlin and Rogerson's relationship, which, just like everything else in Caitlin's life is--you guessed it--messed up. It starts out with a really absurd first date wherein Caitlin sits in the car while Rogerson delivers drugs. Then they make out. That's it. A few days later, I think, after Rogerson takes Caitlin to his house, she accidentally witnesses Rogerson's father hitting him for something really stupid--being late for a party. Since then on, Caitlin declares her and Rogerson to be "together."

Okay. So after that, what happens is that Caitlin starts unnecessarily spending shitloads of time with Rogerson just driving around in his car (while he delivers drugs) and making out and smoking pot. Until one day when Caitlin is late to meet him, and he gets really pissed and...

...hits her.

And that's typically when the reader would expect shit to start getting real, but instead, guess what happens?

Time after time, Rogerson keeps hitting Caitlin, again and again, for being late (in some cases by just minutes) or talking to other guys or not hanging out with him or being late. What does Caitlin do?

Nothing.

I kid you not.

The girl does NOTHING.

She quietly takes it as she moves dreamily through her fucked up life, quitting cheearleading, quitting spending time with her best friend Rina, quitting spending time with her family, quitting studying, quitting anything that does not involve Rogerson.

I'm sorry, but, what the fuck?

Okay, I get that her sister's gone and she feels messed up because Cass is supposed to not do these things, but how is that a good enough excuse to keep being in an abusive relationship? Sure this is not what she expected of Cass, but she's fine. She's safe, and happy, and doing okay. It's not like she's missing, or dead. She starts calling, and Caitlin's mother starts writing, and everyone's getting used to it, right? Even if she hadn't run away to live with the guy, she would be at Yale. Ergo, she would still not be at home. Right? So how is this a good enough excuse for Caitlin to want to be stuck in "dreamland," not wanting to surface, wanting to just keep moving through whatever life throws her in a half-conscious state like she's faced some great tragedy?

And what kind of shit fucking best friend is Rina? What kind of best friend would put up with her best friend quitting their middle-school-to-high-school friendship almost entirely--save for cheerleading meets which, mind you, Caitlin eventually stops going to and ultimately quits--for her boyfriend? Rina is a completely different kind of "best friend" than all the others I've encountered in SD's books, which makes me think she's there just to fill in the customary best-friend role. And if Rina is Caitlin's best friend, why can't she turn to her? Forget Rogerson--maybe Caitlin wasn't willing to admit she was such a weakling--if she was feeling so messed up about Cass, why couldn't she just talk to Rina? They're supposed to be best friends!

So as the book progresses, Caitlin slowly turns into a depressed, pathetic zombie version of her old self, taking beating after beating from Rogerson without a word, becoming bruised and battered everywhere. I was reading along in pure agony because I CANNOT stand females of such weak character. I was literally dying for just a TINY glimpse of Caitlin's self-esteem, because how could she possibly have NONE AT ALL? But no. Such an instance was not what finally brought me to a halt. The following line did.

There were moments when my heart ached for him: I just loved him so much.

I'm sorry.

What?

She loved him? "So much"?

Okay.

Tell me all about how deep and touching your love story is, Caitlin, because I think maybe I'm missing something somewhere. You love him? Why? Is it because he has dreadlocks and somehow knows the answers to all your little general-knowledge questions and is mysterious and punk-rock and older and hits you which gets you moist and excited and takes you on drug-dealing trips in his BMW and makes out with you afterwards?

Because I don't see what the fuck else can contribute to your love for him.

Honestly, what else is there to the relationship? All they do is make out, and drive around in his BMW and smoke pot as Caitlin waits for the next blow that is obviously going to get her moist and excited. Okay, so she witnessed his father hitting him, something which apparently no one else knows about. But if that's a good enough excuse to label her wet-dream-like cravings of his hitting her and making out with her and eventually fucking her "love," then I'm sorry but Sarah Dessen is just putting out the wrong message.

Which brings me to my next point. This book is supposed to be educational with its moral--get the fuck out of that abusive relationship you're in. I think that this book could have done that wonderfully, especially in the very last time that Rogerson hits Caitlin. They are in the car, and after Caitlin had tried endlessly to call him to let him know that she would be with Rina with him not picking up, he starts beating the fuck out of her. He hits her so hard, in fact, that she flies out the car and lands on the grass in front of her own house. Eventually people notice and her mother rushes out to save her, but that's not the point. As the cops are taking Rogerson away, this is Caitlin's last thought:

I was worn out, broken: He had taken almost everything. But he had been all I'd had, all this time. And when the police led him away, I pulled out of the hands of all of these loved ones, sobbing, screaming, everything hurting, to try and make him stay.

THIS IS SO FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE.

EVEN AFTER HE JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE, YOU WANT HIM TO STAY??? AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY HE WAS ALL YOU HAD?

At this point I'd literally flung the book on the floor in all my rage. THIS MOMENT should have been the wake-up call moment for Caitlin. When she finally realized she'd had enough, because all the other times he'd hit her, it'd been inside the car, in their private little fucked-up world. Having him hit her out in the open should have awakened that self-respect she was hiding away because HE WAS ALL SHE HAD FOR SOME FUCKING REASON but no. No. SHE WANTS HIM TO STAY.

What the actual fuck, Dessen!?!?!?

And then the book ends with this stupid bitch going to this correctional facility - okay, rehab - for a few months and then coming back home to find Cass, upon which moment she starts to "swim back to the surface."

This book was utterly pointless and stupid and all it did was make me hate Caitlin and seethe in rage at the utter lack of self-esteem present in adolescent females these days. No message was sent to any reader that may have been the victim of an abusive relationship themselves, seeing as Caitlin never really saved herself AND INSTEAD HAD THE FUCKING NERVE TO ASK THAT JERK TO STAY and actually had to go to REHAB to see that she'd had her family by her side all along. What makes the whole thing that much worse is that Caitlin never had reason enough to go into such deep depression so as to actually abandon everything for a guy she was "in love" with who abused her, in the first place. Moving on from Cass would have been easy had she just tried, considering her family, her neighbors Boo and Stewart, Rina, cheerleading, and photography classes. But even considering the poorly-thought-out plot and everything, this book at least had the power to send a message, and it didn't even do that. So there. 1 star. Deeply disappointed. Never revisiting.

It's funny how someone's perception of you can be formed without you even knowing it. - p. 240

Caitlin ist es gewohnt, im Schatten ihrer großen Schwester Cass zu stehen. Doch als diese mit ihrem Freund durchbrennt, hinterlässt das ein großes Loch im Herzen der Familie. Ihre Eltern, die sonst so bedacht darauf waren, Cass in allem zu unterstützen, sind erschüttert über ihr Verschwinden, und schenken Caitlin kaum Aufmerksamkeit. In dieser empfindlichen Phase ihres Lebens lernt sie Rogerson kennen, einen mysteriösen Bad Boy, der sie aus irgendeinem Grund ausgewählt zu haben scheint, sie aus ihrem grauen Leben zu entführen. Doch so aufregend er ihr erscheint, so gefährlich wird er auch. Denn Rogerson hat ein ziemliches Temperament, und Caitlin niemanden, dem sie sich anvertrauen kann.


Normalerweise sind Sarah Dessens Bücher ein Garant für Sommergeschichten, die sich einem ins Herz schleichen, emotionale Themen behandeln und sich dabei dennoch sehr leicht und flockig lesen. Sie sind berührend, sie sind witzig, haben authentische und menschliche Charaktere, sie sind alle nach einem bestimmten Schema aufgebaut, und doch enttäuschen sie nie mit ihrem Unterhaltungs- und The-Feels-Faktor.

Neben schwierigen Eltern-Kind-Beziehungen, dem Hinauswachsen über sich selbst, dem Erfassen seiner Zukunftspläne und dem Einstehen für sich selbst nun auch eine missbräuchliche Beziehung zu behandeln, bringt den sonst leichten Ton der Autorin schwer ins Wanken. Dennoch wäre ihr zuzutrauen gewesen, dass sie das Thema ausreichend und in allen Facetten behandelt. Einige davon sind auch durchaus gut dargestellt, insbesondere die innere Blockade des Opfers, sich jemandem anzuvertrauen und das Geschehene richtig zu verarbeiten. Die immense Angst vor und zugleich die Sehnsucht nach der Person, die einem solche Gewalt hinzufügt, sind sehr anschaulich beschrieben, und auch das Gefühl des Etwas-außerhalb-seines-Körpers-sein aufgrund dieser traumatischen Erfahrungen, sind wahnsinnig nahbar beschrieben. Auch die Symbolik der Träume und Traumtagebücher, die zwischen den beiden Schwestern immer eine Rolle gespielt hat, ist damit verknüpft und bringt dem Leser so umso näher, wie sich eine DerealisationDerealisation anfühlt.
Doch alle anderen Aspekte dieser Thematik und auch die anderen Stärken der Autorin sind in Dreamland sehr unausgebaut. Besonders Rogerson als Charakter kommt nicht im Entferntesten so charmant, geheimnisvoll, wild und einladend rüber, wie Cailtin es wahrnimmt. Im Gegenteil, er wirkt von Anfang an wie jemand, der gelangweilt vom Leben ist, gleichgültig gegenüber allem ist und schlichtweg ein langweiliges Arschloch ist. Zusätzlich dazu, dass die beiden praktisch sofort zusammenkommen und ihre gemeinsamen Szenen wie im Zeitraffer erzählt werden, fühlt man sich kaum an das Geschehen gebunden und kann somit Caitlins Zerrissenheit, die während des Missbrauchs entsteht, nicht so ganz nachvollziehen. Dafür hat das ständige Auf und Ab von toxischen Beziehungen, die in immer kürzeren Abständen auftreten, komplett gefehlt. Und wenn man die schönen und positiven Momente absolut nicht fühlt, weil sie einem nicht erzählt werden, dann kippt leider das Bild, das die Autorin erschaffen wollte.

Die Charaktere im Allgemeinen sind Sarah Dessen nicht wirklich gelungen. Sie spielen zwar alle ihre Rolle, allerdings ist kaum etwas zu spüren von der Authentizität, Herzlichkeit und Verbundenheit, die die Dynamik zwischen den Figuren ansonsten in ihren Büchern prägt. Sie waren daher nicht wirklich interessant und zum Teil sehr auf Stereotypen aufbauend (der blonde, beliebte, jungsversessene Cheerleader, der rationale, mit Gefühlen überforderte Vater, die Mutter, die mehr in das Leben ihrer Töchter involviert ist als ihr eigenes). Selbst Caitlin als kleine Schwester, die stets im Schatten von Cass stand, ist irgendwo ein Klischee. Eines, das zwar nicht genervt hat, allerdings trotzdem recht zweidimensional wirkte, weil bis auf ihre Beziehung zu Rogerson, das Vermissen ihrer Schwester und dass sie Cheerleading eigentlich hasst, nichts über sie im Gedächtnis bleibt.
Die einzigen Figuren, die halbwegs etwas in mir angerührt haben, waren Jess und ihr Freund, die beide in einer heruntergekommenen Wohnung leben, sich mit Mini-Jobs über Wasser halten und hoffen, irgendwann genug Geld für eine Wohnung in L.A. zusammenzukratzen, und die langsam realisieren, was für ein Luftschloss sie sich dort aufbauen. Dort hat sich das Traummotiv noch stärker durchgezogen als im eigentlichen Plot um Caitlin. Ein inoffizielles Sequel rund um Jess würde ich sogar lesen!

Im Allgemeinen ist das Problem, dass dieses Buch wesentlich mehr Seiten gebraucht hätte, um all das Potential dieser Geschichte zu entfalten. Mit seinen 250 Seiten ist sie dünner als manche Graphic Novel, und es werden so einige Zeitsprünge gemacht, sodass ein eigentlicher Beziehungsaufbau gar nicht sichtbar ist. Im Gegenteil, er fliegt im Schnelldurchlauf wie in mehreren Montageszenen am Leser vorbei, statt sich organisch und für ihn sichtbar zu entfalten. Daher war die Geschichte bis zur Mitte, in der die eigentlichen Probleme mit Rogerson überhaupt erst auftauchen, viel zu schnell erzählt, und nach der Überschreitung dieses Zenits viel zu schnell vorbei. Wobei man Sarah Dessen zugute halten muss, dass sie zumindest in Ansätzen die Posttraumatische Belastungsstörung thematisiert, Symptome davon zeigt und so ebenfalls Opfer bzw. survivors ermutigt, sich nach solchen Erfahrungen professionelle Hilfe zu suchen.


Insgesamt wohl der schlechteste Sarah-Dessen-Roman, obwohl es eines der schwersten Themen behandelt. Hätte die Autorin sich mehr Zeit gelassen und die Charaktere, ihre Verbindungen zueinander und auch ihre Dynamik mehr ausgebaut, so hätte dies eine gute Geschichte zu ihren üblichen Themengebieten wie Selbstfindung und Persönlichkeitswachstum, jedoch auch Missbrauch in romantischen Beziehungen werden können. So fühlt es sich jedoch an wie ein Erstentwurf, der mehr Länge, Detail und Ausreifung gebraucht hätte, um den Leser wirklich zu berühren. Aufgrund der guten Ansätze und dem stärkeren zweiten Teil des Buches jedoch noch eine solide Lektüre.

Alternativ kann ich euch übrigens Bitter End von Jennifer Brown zu dieser Thematik ans Herz legen. Ein rundum gelungenes, berührendes und sehr gut recherchiertes Buch!

Second time reading Dreamland since...probably high school. I still enjoyed it, but I wasn't nearly as captivated. Of course, I knew what was coming. I remembered things. I didn't not like the book, but it just didn't stick with me as much as it the first time. With that, the first time I read it I gave it 5 stars, now I would give it 3.

I'm hoping that I've felt like this with all these earlier books just because that- they're the early books. The next one on the list is This Lullaby (what seems to be everyone's favorite), but it's also the first bigger book Dessen published, so hopefully I rediscover the complete love for these books I've always considered I had.

Well, this book is about an Important Issue, so I can’t say it’s insubstantial. And it seem to deal with it in a way that’s sensitive to the issue. But I dunno…it kinda reads like those Go Ask Alice & other “young women memoirs” that were popular in like…the 90s? I mostly feel uncomfortable, and the writing isn’t anything special really. And I can’t see at all why she’s charmed by the dude; I suppose I have the perspective of both A) not being her so having an outsider’s perspective, and B) already knowing what the book’s about, but at least for me it would have been more impactful if the guy started out coming off as a funny, or witty, or charismatic in some other way, so I could see her being suckered into loving him.

It feels like if I were a reader who might get into that situation, Dessen’s example wouldn’t help much if I were to meet someone who came off as perfectly nice and fun to be around but slowly revealed a darker, sadistic streak. Her boy starts out looking like a raging a-hole and rarely stops giving me that impression; an impressionable person could be like, “Oh, so to avoid someone like that I’ll just, like, stay away from someone who clearly looks like trouble from the start.”

There’s not much to say outside of the main plot, as it appropriately dominates the book. The sister thing seems to just be an excuse to make her feel insecure enough to throw herself into the relationship. I felt a lot of potential in Rina that was barely realized because her role seemed to peak in her first scene; later she was “that best friend I don’t see much because I’m always with my controller.” Dessen also seems to have had trouble in her first few books with creating a protagonist who’s both active in her own life (and I mean this even aside from the obvious factor of her romance, since that’s the point there) and has enough voice and perspective to make her someone the reader wants to be around for a few hundred pages. This is pretty much why I waited so long to read Dessen’s earlier books, since Keeping the Moon implied that it took a few years and publications before she figured out how to be a strong author.

A very heartbreaking Dessen novel. One I pushed off reading for a while because I knew it was going to be sad. But that being said, it was written very beautifully. I wish we could have had an epilogue of Caitlin years after the end of the book so we know a little more of how she’s doing. I noticed that Dessens very first few books she published are shorter, have less story. I love how overtime the stories have gotten longer. I just love everything about Dessens writing. Now I only have one more book of hers I haven’t read. I cannot wait till she announces she’s publishing a new book. There is nothing like a sarah dessen novel.

Call me hasty, but it was taking the mick getting to the point.
Aint nobody got time for that.
NEXT!

Dreamland is about a girl named Caitlin. The books starts with her older sister, Cassandra, running away-which leaves Caitlin's family situation in chaos, and also leaves Caitlin to fill her "perfect" sister's place. She joins the cheerleading squad and starts to date a jock-the whole prep girl routine. But that abruptly ends when she meets a bad-boy named Rogerson.

This book was amazingly written-just like Sarah Dessen's other book (that I've read) This Lullaby.
But it's so different. Dreamland is an intense, quick read. It's one of those books that you just have to read. Of course, I don't think this is one of those books that you necessarily have to re-read. Definitely not.
It's a horrific story-one of those that you can olny read through splayed hands and eyes half-squinted. But it's written so convingly.
I've decided that I want to read all of Sarah Dessen's books.
Oh, and just a warning: medium language and some really intense scenes. (Sometimes I just don't understand why authors have to add bad language to their books-it doesn't make the novel more real or interesting than it already is).

Reading this book, being in Caitlin’s head was almost like drowning. You’re pulled under the surface and your breath catches and your heart races and the panic ensues. But then something happens and the panic recedes and turns into stillness, an incredible stillness that numbs your mind and body. You’re aware of what’s going on, you want to stop it, you want to breathe again, you know you can swim.


When Caitlin wakes up on her sixteenth birthday, her world is turned upside down. She tries desperately to deal with her sisters disappearance, and tries not to be a bother to her coping parents. Caitlin is seemingly invisible, swallowed up by the shadow of her perfect sister Cassandra— until she meets Rogerson. Wicked smart, handsome and mysterious—Caitlin finds herself entering into his world of dangers, happy to be an entirely different version of herself when they’re together. Because with Rogerson, she can be anyone, she’s not “Caitlin, Cassandra’s sister,” she’s just “Caitlin.” The rush of first love is a veil over her eyes to the signs of the storm that’s coming.


Sarah Dessen does a beautiful job at capturing the rawness of tolerance, guilt, pain, abuse, the existence of all these somehow disguised as Love. “Dreamland” is not a happy, fun love story, but there is a lot to be learned and felt from this book. Would definitely recommend.

Ok so I'm going to give this book a 5 because once I started reading it I literally could NOT put it down. This is the first book I really felt this way about in the book club I am reading it for. I have enjoyed other books but this was the first one that made me want to put other things on hold and just get lost in the story. I got really invested in the main character Caitlin and this was the type of book that I wanted to skip pages and look ahead but had to stop myself. I also liked that this book kept surprising me. I kept expecting certain things, but they didn't happen and I liked that. The one thing I will say is that the ending was a little anticlimactic for me, but overall this book and the way the characters were built up, kept me engaged until the end. Not a dull moment at all. I actually felt pretty emotional by the end of the book because I was so wrapped up in the heartache of the main character. I don't want to give anything away so I will end with saying this is an excellent book, a captivating story, and an easy and enjoyable read.

I like that Sarah Dessen departed from her usual and showed us the possible darker side of teenage (and all) relationships. Does it hold up 10 years later? Sure, but I wish someone would explore the demographics of the love interest and reconsider that.

Nancy and I will be chatting about this and our first Sarah Dessen reads later this month!

“Wake up, Caitlin, Mr. Lensing had said. But what he didn’t understand was that this dreamland was preferable, walking through this life half-sleeping, everything at arm’s length or farther away.”

I reread this book for a reading challenge I am trying to complete for the year. I hadn’t read this book since I was a teen! First picked it up in my 9th grade English class in, Mrs. Ochoa’s class haha. Anyways, this is a darker and a little bit of a heavier read compared to her other summer lovin’ books for teens.

“The world is speaking to you every day, she’d said to me so many times. You just don’t always know how to listen.”