I picked this up off the library free shelf to help me raise my son. While there were some valid points in this book, I also feel like mothers were judged pretty hard while fathers were given a pass. My take-away is to cherish my son, find an outlet for him to use up his energy and make sure he has good male and female role models in his life.

I look forward to reading this book each night. The author explains the way the male brain works based on it's physical structure and applies that science to the evolution of our culture. It has been fascinating and very helpful in my journey of raising a son. I wish I would have read it during my first year of marriage!

The Wonder of Boys discusses ideas for how to raise boys into men, which is an incredibly worthy topic. However, the book is heavy on rhetoric, and light on actual ideas for implementation. Furthermore, a divorced parent would feel pretty bashed by this book. Gurian is incredibly anti-divorce, which is great in theory, but not so cut and dry in real life. That pretty much sums up this book - great theories, but that's not enough when we are dealing with the nitty gritty of raising boys. With that said, there are a few kernels worth gleaning from this book that I find useful in raising my 5 sons.

2nd reading- Oct. 13, 2021- This book was filled with practical reminders on how best to parent a boy. Each time I read this, I come away with a practice or truth at the forefront of my mind different from what I clasped onto before = we don't need new info but need to be reminded of what we already know (somewhere in my head).

1st reading- May 10, 2020- Great, practical information about how to raise boys in a healthy environment!

This is my second time reading this book- now with two boys who are several years older. The first time I read it, I thought it was worth it as much for the insights into my husband as my sons. The second time around, it reminded me of some important things to be striving for with my boys. The main piece that resonated with me was boys' need for a tribe. I also really liked Gurian's dissecting of the biological differences between boys and girls.

I loved the title of this book, but not the content. To be fair, I was influenced by another book I read that talked about how this author used one piece of "scientific studies" and extrapolated theories that were simply not true.

I was looking for a good book to help understand the emotions of boys and how to help them, and I found that "Raising Cain:Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" has a lot better content and specific techniques that have already helped me.

Una din cele mai frumoase carti de parenting adresate modului de crestere a baietilor.

I was very disappointed by this book, partly because I had such high hopes from the central message ("Boys are different from girls, both are equally valuable, here are some ways to nurture the boys in your life.")

My complaints are that the suggestions tend to be more theoretical than practical, and I'm completely unimpressed by talk of spirituality that literally bends over backwards to avoid advocating religion. The chapter directed at mothers seems unhelpful because it's filled more with things to avoid instead of things to do. Finally, the recurring detail of mentioning "our ancestral past," often in comparison with tribal cultures, really irked me. Who's ancestral past? Which culture are you talking about? In what specific cultural and/or historical contexts did such-and-such happen?

If you read the first 2 chapters, you'll get the overall gist of the book, and, unless a specific later chapter sparks your interest, you can save time and skip the rest.

This book is SUPER 1990’s and treats a lot of mezzo and macro level problems as individual problems.

I realize this is a personal issue for me as a clinician, but given the prevalence of divorce, maybe clinicians should focus on healthy co parenting instead of advocating to make divorce more difficult. It’s better to show children that adults can work together even when they disagree than to teach them that marriage is forever, no matter how badly the participants want out.

Inspiring, useful and eye opening. Boys need different things to grow into mature responsible adults and I loved reading about this aspect

A “Boy-Mom” Must-Read!

This is a must read for anyone with boys in their lives.

I have read a few books on the differences between men and women (yes, some of the cheesy ones including Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and Steve Harvey's "Act like a lady, think like a man" with the purpose of understanding how to work with, live with, parent and simply co-exist in harmony with men. I didn't find any conflicting advice between any of these - each directs us to having a deeper understanding of the make up of men so we can build strong partnerships.

Bottom line - Give men and boys what they need the way they need it, (in hopes that) they too will give to women what they need the way they need it. The real beauty of an individual shines when they are accepted as they are.

My Top Takeaways:

1. Mothers need to let go of their boys in a healthy and still nurturing way so they can build strong relationships with women as adults. I am not a helicopter parent and I have a healthy relationship with my boys - but understanding their need to detach and let go at a certain age (12-15) has reinforced that I can’t fight what is going to happen. Accepting this as a biological and social need and not taking their detachment personally is critical.

2. Boys need influence of other men and their Father’s (even ones who made terrible husbands and partners). Admittedly I have been critical of how my ex-husband parents our boys in many ways (unhealthy eating, little physical activity, too much device time, etc.) Gurian tells a story of a mother who wanted to take legal action against her ex-husband for teaching their son to hunt. He reinforced that the father wasn't putting the boy in any real danger. The message is I will do more harm to my boys by criticizing their dad (even if it is sublte or private) than the unhealthy food or lack of exercise and my boys will eventually resent me for it. I am committed now to letting my ex parent and influence them in his own way, without judgement. I'll even go further to support and encourage their relationship as best as I possibly can. I will also encourage my boys to have a closer relationship with their uncles and grandfathers, as well as the other men in my life who can offer different perspectives and influence.

3. Boys needs discipline. Get clear on what the rules are and be consistent with them. This is how we earn their trust and create a sense of safety. When you mess up the rules, own it and move forward. That shows our boys that we aren’t perfect.

My expectations have evolved and I feel a little more prepared for what's to come, how to be a supportive mother and have a healthy relationship with my boys into their adulthood.