كتاب عادي لا أعرف سر الضجة المثارة حوله.

عندي مشكلة جوهرية مع الكتب المتخصصة بتطوير الذات لا سيما هذا الكتاب، وهي أنها وضعت بالدرجة الرئيسية لمخاطبة القارئ الغربي. فهي تعالج في وصفاتها المشكلات المرتبطة بواقعه الحياتي الرازح تحت وطأة الرأسمالية المتوحشة وإيقاعها المتسارع وطابعها التنافسي الحاد وما ينتج عنها من اختلال في الحياة الاجتماعية والنفسية للفرد. ثم إن الغربي يمتلك فرصاً متساوية مع أقرانه للإبداع، لا ينقصه إذاً سوى المنهج العلمي الذي يساعده لتطوير ذاته وتحسين فرصه التنافسية. أما الفرد العربي فمشاكله من نوع آخر تماماً. الفرد العربي بحاجة لما يساعده على الخروج من واقع مجتمعه المتخلف وتأثيراته النفسية العميقة عليه، فهو بعبارة أخرى واستناداً على الفكرة الرئيسية التي انطلق منها كوڤي في كتابه حول ضرورة التطوير "من الداخل الى الخارج"، يمكننا القول أن الفرد العربي يحتاج لمن يعطيه منشاراً قبل أن يعلمه كيف يشحذه.

I don't dislike books often and I don't read self help often. Last year I decided that I wanted to explore new genres and looked around for what was considered a must read in the self help section and found 7 Habits. I'm normally a decently fast reader but this book, at 358 pages, took me 13 months to finish. I couldn't bring myself to read more than a few pages at a time, I just disliked it that much.

It's not that the book itself is horrible. It's just that the information it attempts to teach is what I would humbly call common sense. If you have any sense of self awareness or if you ever reflect on yourself, you probably won't gain anything from this book. If you've gone through a crisis and have no sense of how to continue being a proper human being then maybe this book would be of some help.

The cherry on top of the horrible cake that this book is, is his personal note where he points out that if you don't believe in the power of God and live with those spiritual beliefs, you won't reach anything beyond the animal plane. Basically just ignoring everything else his book discusses because why bother being a good person and practicing these habits if you don't believe in God?

This was the book that made Stephen Covey at familiar name in the workplace in the 80’s and 90’s. We were asked to read this in relation to a company-wide training on the same in the mid 80’s and my friends from other companies were also required to undergo the same training. The 7 habits will always be applicable as they are all based on common sense. However, there are some that was new during the 80’s like the paradigm shifting and the visualization. Now we have the “secret” – law of attraction which is basically similar to visualization (thinking with the end in mind). I think the business gurus are just renaming things in order to appear new. They are the ones laughing their way to banks while HR people in companies appear to have brilliant ideas for productivity by using those new ideas or propositions based on these books. I have been working for almost 3 decades now and I can’t help but see this cycle of foolishness.

Re-reading an old favorite.

أول مرة اتعرف على مفاهيم جديدة زى التصور الذهنى وتفويض الساعى وتفويض الوكالة وتفكير المكسب والخسارة بأنواعه الأربعة

اول مفهوم قدمه الكاتب التصور الذهنى وازاى بيختلف من شخص للتانى وازاى بيأثر فى التعامل بين الاشخاص وازاى بيكون العدسة الى بتشوف بيها العالم من حواليك وعشان كدا لازم تكون العدسة دى نظيفة وبدون غبار عشان تقدر تفهم كويس كل الى حواليك

عجبنى أوى الامثلة الحية الى ذكرها الكاتب

افتكر اولها قصته لما كان راكب المترو ,وضح فيها فعلا يعنى ايه تصور ذهنى ويعنى ايه تحول فى التصور الذهنى
وبيحصل امتى وايه نتيجته

قصته كمان مع بنته لما رفضت تشارك الالعاب مع اصحابها وذكر الكاتب ازاى اتصرف فى الوقت دا وازاى كان تصرفه غلط وابتدى يوضح ويحلل الموقف ليه بنته اتصرفت كدا وازاى حاول يعالج الموقف دا وليه عالجه بالشكل دا وفى النهاية وضح ان كان فى حل افضل من اللى استخدمه

قصة كمان مع ابنه لما حاول يستخدم معاه تفويض الوكالة فى القصة دى بالذات حسيت ان فعلا ستيفن أر كوفى هو أب رائع واتصرف بذكاء وعقلانية او الافضل اقول فعالية مع ابنه لما اهمل الحديقة الى كان المفروض يعتنى بيها
وازاى كانت نتيجة الفعالية دى هى ان ابنه فعلا اهتم بالحديقة واعتنى بيها وكان مبسوط وراضى عن دا


القصة لما خرج مع اتنين من ولاده واحد كان صغير وواحد كبير وقضوا اليوم فسحة وسينما وفى الاخر قبل ما يرحوا الكاتب غطى ابنه الصغير بالمعطف والابن الكبير لاحظ دا ومن واقتها ابتدى الاب يلاحظ تصرف غريب من الابن الاكبر وانه بقى هادى ومش بيكلم طول اليوم و لما كان بيسأله كان الابن بيخبى لحد ما مرة واحدة افجر فى البكاء وسأل الاب هل لو كنت حسيت بالبرد كنت هتغطينى بالمعطف برده زى اخوه الصغير
الانسان كائن عاطفى ومهما كان سنه هيفضل كائن عاطفى اهم حاجة بالنسبة له المشاعر واحساس بالحب

وقصص تانية كتير

يمكن العيب الوحيد ان الكاتب استعمل مصطلحات صعب فهمها احيانا

بس مع ذلك ايدت الكتاب 5 نجوم لأنى اقتنعت جدا بفكر المؤلف ورسالته وصلتلى :)

لازم تقروا الكتاب دا هيفهمكم حاجات كتير وهيفتح عنيكم على حاجات عمركم ما فكرتم فيها

This book changed how I worked and how I set goals. It isn't the feel-good self-help book it appears.

Read again before going back to work in January 2014. I think it's fitting that the first time I read this, I was in grad school and planning for the future, and that I would read it again as I leave behind the career I was planning for back then. Well, somewhat. I'm letting music librarianship go and focusing on being an assistant director in the library, and also to figuring out what the next move will be in a few years.

A couple of things I'm mulling over after the second read:
-Moving beyond to-do lists, which can be a false sense of achievement
-Not letting work be the only place where goals are set
-Valuing difference
-Becoming a person who helps others achieve their goals
-Quadrant II (again)

If only humans were robots...
n  
If you were a paraplegic who had just fallen from an 11-story-building, and the by-standers shot you with automatic rifes and blew you with 100 grenades, leaving you behind as an amorphous mixture of blood and flesh. You would not have to worry. You are not your cirumstances.n

The author, Stephen R. Covey, passed away in July this year. Rest in peace. He left a positive mark and this needs to be appreciated.

Now to the book...

I bought it about 2 years ago, but never bothered reading it. It had a self-help look and feel about it which prevented me. In retrospect, I could have walked out of the bookstore without it, but fate had its way. And so it did last week, when a teacher of mine talked about this book and praised it. Oh yes he did. His opinion was that it was literally life altering. I thought, I already had the book, why not give it a read? You know, maybe it'll make me smarter, and a better person.

The thesis is clear from the get-go. The author realized that most of the self-help books focused on secondary problems so his intention was to focus on the effective practices which were fundamental in human nature. The real thesis? A self-help book that will vilify all the existing self-help books and then triumphantly walk as the 'true', read:self-help, book.

Make no mistake, every grain of this book is reaking of the generic self-help ideas. From the start the author berates self-help books as having 'platitudes', and by the 3rd habit chapter, I had enough of THIS book's platitudes.

It breeds in you your superirity, your ego. Your wife doesn't want to have sex with you, you choose to accept have sex with her. Your boss doesn't call you in the evening, you choose to go for the betterment of the business you work at. It wants you to become that ultimate prick.

I have read sentences in this book that made me vomit! The all-encompassing, all-positive, all-self-help-vocabulary-I-can-use-in-one-sentence kind of sentences.

Coming back to the opening of this review. The book doesn't make a room for humanness. On one hand, it wants you to live a life of your priorities, but then it tells you that don't get carried away with feelings, emotions or circumstances. The book kept quoting Viktor Frankl, which was very frustrating because life is not Frankl's concentration camp.

I am not perfect, I am probably not a leader. But at least I enjoy life at its fullest, I love all moments, I enjoy rain, I take walks just for the hell of it, I read stupid books just to feel superior. I regurgitate bullshit for conversations... I am a human and this book was definitely not for me.

One of the most-highlighted books on Kindle, proving that human beings thrive on snappy buzz-quotes written by middle managers like David Brent who partake of the music of M People and Steely Dan Kool & The Gang, and whose souls were long ago vacuumed out in a boardroom somewhere during a PowerPoint presentation. Regard:

What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.

This incoherent drivel has the most highlights. Regard the faux-profound self-importance of the “cannot” in this sentence, as though securing the attention of Jim Phelps CEO of E-Z-Clix Online Supplies is the pinnacle of human achievement.

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

You can say this imbecilic utterance in any accent, or at any speed you like, and it still would be a piece of drivelling cack. It would still linger on the brain for a second as a semi-intelligent observation, before pooling slowly to the floor like the incoherent dog-drool it really is when given two seconds thought.

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.

Die now. Die now, you patronising ill-bred country-club smug-face slab of nothing. See how that semicolon WINKS at you, as if to say: “Just listen to my me and everything will be all right. Just quote this vacuous frog-plop at the next AGM and sit back as the room erupts into spontaneous applause. Told you so!”

The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values—carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.

Translation: proactive people are greedy loveless cash-licking pus-heads.

It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.

Are you sure it’s not our response to our response to what happens to us that hurts us? Or our response to our response to our response to what happens to us that hurts us is what hurts us and us and us and them?

Effectiveness lies in the balance—what I call the P/PC Balance. P stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs.

P = how many eggs stakeholders want chickens to shit out, vs. PC = how many eggs the chickens are capable of shitting out if kept in airless cages and fed reheated bull droppings. “Squeeze ‘em harder, Mr Pancks!”

The PC principle is to always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers.

Condescending fake-friendliness masking resentment and loathing.

For our purposes, we will define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three.

OH MOMMY MAKE IT STOP!

easy to read :) but hard to do :D hahahah

اقتباسات من الكتاب:

كوفي: كلما تمكنت من فهم الآخرين فهما عميقا زاد تقديرك لهم وزاد شعورك باحترامهم

كوفي: كتابة اليوميات التي تضم أفكارنا وتجاربنا ورؤانا وتعاليمنا تعزز صفاء الذهن ودقته

كوفي: لا توجد طريقة لتثقيف عقلك وتوسيع مداركك بانتظام أفضل من عادة قراءة الكتب القيّمة

كوفي: الصور الصغيرة من العطف واللباقة مهمة للغاية

جونسون: لا يمكن أن تكون هناك صداقة بدون ثقة، ولا ثقة بدون صدق

إيمرسون: عندما تصرخ في أذني لا أسمع ما تقول

كوفي: إن البداية الحقيقية للتأثير تحدث عندما يستشعر الآخرون تأثرك بهم

كوفي: الأمل يعني أن تكتشف أنك تمثل القوة الإبداعية في حياتك

كوفي: أهم إنجازاتنا تتطلب مهارات للتعاون والعمل الجماعي تفوق إمكانياتنا الحالية بكثير

كوفي: لا بد ألا نكتفي بالتعليم النظامي بل علينا تعليم أنفسنا باستمرار وإعادة اكتشافها

كوفي: قاعدة النجاح الحقيقية هي القدرة على الاستمرار والنمو

كوفي: الذين يعتادون كبت مشاعرهم بدلا من تحويلها إلى معان أكبر يكتشفون تأثير ذلك على تقديرهم لذاتهم وجودة علاقاتهم بالآخرين

This book explains 7 principles that make a person more effective personally and professionally. Covey shows how a principle-centered, character-based life helps you build the healthy relationships that are key to an effective life. This classic is well worth reading for its perspective and practical advice.

Concepts
Correct Principles: Covey frequently references his Christianity. He says the Habits are based on "Correct Principles" (aka Natural Law) found in Judeo-Christian Scriptures and common to major religions.

P/PC Balance: Covey says you must maintain a balance between production (P; your output) and production capability (PC; your ability to produce). You must stay healthy and renew yourself (see Habit 7) or you'll get burned out and become ineffective. He uses the fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg as a metaphor.

Interdependence: Covey says the Habits lead you from dependence to independence to interdependence (cooperating with others to achieve a common goal; producing things greater than the sum of their parts).

The 7 Habits
Habit 1: Be Proactive
You choose how to respond to what life throws at you. Between stimulus and response lies your freedom to choose. Take responsibility for your actions.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Choose your short-term, daily behavior according to the plan you have for your entire life. Think about the legacy you want to leave. Put things in perspective; what would you want people to say at your funeral?

Habit 3: Put First Things First
Daily planning is too narrow and short-sighted. Weekly planning gives a better big-picture perspective of your goals, and allows for the flexibility to deal with the things that will inevitably come up.

People are more important than things, so plan your time accordingly. Be efficient with things, but effective with people. You can't be efficient with relationships; they take time. Instead of focusing on things and time, focus on relationships and results.

Only spend time on things that align with your deep values. Don't waste time on other things, even if it means saying no to requests. Don't prioritize your schedule; schedule your priorities.

Think of tasks in terms of urgency and importance. Focus on the important, even though they seem less urgent. Think preventatively to keep tasks from ever becoming urgent.

Use stewardship delegation instead of "gofer" delegation; teach a person to be the steward of the task you assign to them, rather than constantly telling them to "go for this" or "go for that."

Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Most of life requires cooperation, not competition. Work together with co-workers, friends, and family for mutual benefit. Approach everything in terms of "win/win or no deal"; if you can't reach a deal in which both parties feel they're winning, don't make a deal at all.

Create win/win agreements that clearly state expectations, privileges, consequences up front. This prevents you from having to figure those things out when issues arise, and makes the relationship more smooth because it causes each person to manage themselves.

Think in terms of the Abundance Mentality rather than the Scarcity Mentality; the quest for recognition, credit, power, and profit isn't a zero-sum game. Be happy when others succeed.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply. Diagnose before you prescribe. Understand needs, concerns, situation before you give advice.

To understand others, listen with empathy. To be understood, present your views according to:
• ethos: personal credibility
• pathos: emotional alignment with the other person
• logos: logical reasoning

You can't motivate people by appealing to satisfied needs (money, status, etc.); only unsatisfied needs motivate.

Habit 6: Synergize.
Value the differences in relationships. Oneness is not sameness, it's complementariness. Unity is not uniformity.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Renew and improve in yourself in the following categories, by spending at least an hour on each category daily.
• Physical: Eat right and exercise.
• Spiritual: Find and carry an inner peace. Meditate, read Scripture, or spend time in nature.
• Mental: Read good literature to gain the insights of others. Write, organize, and plan.
• Social/emotional: Understand others. Serve others, at work or through volunteering.

Afterward
Covey says a summary of the first 3 Habits is "make and keep a promise," and a summary of the next 3 Habits is "involve others in the problem and work out the solution together." He says the first 3 Habits are about integrity, and the next 3 are about loyalty.