Excellent work on a neglected topic. Eldridge challenges our culture and the men in it to live lives of spiritual adventure that will change both. What I found revolutionary was that he takes the model for this transformation to spiritual passion not from the latest cultural trend but from God Himself. Worthwhile reading for any man who believes the spiritual pursuits are a dry obligation.

I can't give it zero stars, so I give it one star, but in my heart it is zero stars. This book is very bad.

I started reading this book because many people close to me in my life have read it and highly praised it. I've also read a couple of other books by the author and liked them. This one, however, threw me for a bit of a doozy.

On the one hand, I didn't like some of it as a matter of preference. The author gives at least 1-3 story examples for EACH POINT he makes which gets very repetitive. About halfway through the book, I started skimming the story portions and getting to the point. I felt as though the author didn't know how to trust the reader to understand what he was saying and draw their own conclusions. This becomes irksome to me as a reader.

That personal preference aside, let's get into the actual meat of the book.

This book is written to expose the secret of a man's soul and boils the life of a man down to "a longing for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue."

There were a lot of points I agreed with and liked.

I liked that the author doesn't shy away from hard, convicting messages. From the men I've heard from, who have read this book, that was the highlight. I like that certain men can read this book and have their faith in God and enthusiasm for life rejuvenated. I like that they can gain some understanding of a different way men can operate in life. I like that the author doesn't shy away from addressing father wounds, abuse, use of pornography, etc.

I especially liked how much the author emphasizes God's love for us and His relentless pursuit to show us a better life. As far as the character of God was described in this book, I agreed with most of what was written.

The author makes it VERY CLEAR that male aggression, violence, and abuse, especially towards women, is NOT okay, but I don't think he quite hit the nail on the head.

For one, the author makes way too many generalizations. To assume that ALL men want to be the warrior archetype (a William Wallace for example as he references many times) and ALL women wanted to be saved is quite a harmful message. He uses culturally established archetypes, that are not used in Scripture, to defend what he believes to be a Biblical stance.

I can understand how the author, who is from Colorado and loves the outdoors, would want to embrace the archetype and the kind of life he lays out in the book. I can see why it would be appealing to many men, and I don't think that in and of itself is harmful. It's the insinuation that every guy has to feel that way in order to be a "real man of God." It's the notion that a man becomes a "real warrior" when he starts spending more time outdoors instead of at his office job.

The whole nature vs. corporate world setting confused me a bit given the fact that the corporate world is dominated by men and literally designed FOR men. For instance, the whole 9-5 workday schedule was made because of the MALE hormone cycle.

Many of the references he uses when he talks about men saving women aren't even true. Romeo didn't "save" Juliet from anything. Arthur didn't save Guinevere. In fact, a whole different guy in the Arthurian legends saved her. He mentions fairytales like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. If we're talking about the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty, the three fairies play a much bigger role in saving Aurora than the prince does. If we're talking about the original fairytale, would we consider the prince raping Sleeping Beauty and her not waking up until she gives birth (against her will) "saving?" If we're talking about either the fairytale version or Disney version of Cinderella, we see an abused girl get out of the house because her fairy god-MOTHER helps her out. The prince doesn't do very much to save her.

The author's treatment of women is what bothers me the most. Women are blamed when their men are too "soft" because either their mother clung to them too long or their girlfriends/wives tried to domesticate them.

The author's ideal version of a Beauty, as he calls her, is a woman who is seductive, exotic, and doesn't get in the way of her man's wildness. He uses words like "enchantress," and refers to women as "mythological." I'm sorry, but I am not something out of myth. The way he speaks about women puts us on this idyllic level and makes us well...not human. The women he talks about are not portrayed as people.

He also refers to again and again the story where a woman is trapped in a tower by a dragon or sorcerer and can only be saved when a champion (a man) comes to fight for her. Sure, women want to be fought for, but he also talks about how the dragon and sorcerer are both depictions of Satan or Evil.

So...what he's saying is that, if you're a woman, you are being held hostage by the Devil until some guy comes along and defeats the Evil One for you. This is, on so many levels, messed up and unbiblical. I, as a woman made in the image of God, should NOT be waiting around for a man to figure out my relationship with God FOR me and make me a better person. I have to do that work on my own, and no man is going to be able to do it for me.

The author talks about how the Evil One especially hates women because she is the crown of Creation and the whole reason a savior could come and die for us all. I agree with that, but in him saying that he insinuates that women need to be saved from evil by men. But, only Jesus can do that??? And already has??? The whole man-woman relationship thing just came across as illogical and messy whereas a lot of the rest of the book is a lot more organized.

What women need to be saved from are men...or rather, the systems of men that hold us down and oppress us for THE VERY REASONS the author mentions when speaking about why Satan hates women. See? He makes a good point, kind of, but doesn't quite nail it.

When the author talks about sex, there is plenty of mention of male-female union and of male orgasm, but nothing is said about pleasure or orgasm for women.

All in all, I think some men could be really convicted by certain aspects of this book and learn a lot from it. (Men who tend to abuse, have a toxic relationship with their masculinity, etc.) But overall, it does have some harmful messaging as well.

Things like, men should have other friends that are men holding them accountable is great. Love that point and the details given around it. But then saying that women need to seduce their guys, wait to be rescued, and then "not get in the way of his wildness" just rubs me the wrong way.

This book just wasn't it for me. Not the worst thing ever but far far from what I hoped it would be.

What I liked: 1. This book was an easy read. I like to alternate between something light and something challenging. 2. It is written from a Christian perspective. 3. If you are not completely a frozen popsicle inside, then the book tries to inspire you to be more fully alive - seeking out your dreams, the very nature of your existence - dare to explore, take risks, and find a true calling.
What I did not like: 1. The author repeatedly makes reference to fighting, like men are made to fight, physically, like David, Joshua, et. al. Just because a man can fight does not necessarily make that a central purpose for him. As a caveat, it is fair to say the author also delves into the idea of fighting for things that are right, which I fundamentally agree with. However, some of the scripture used to support said hypothesis somehow did not ring completely true.
Overall: I liked it because I can really relate to the need to go out and do manly things, like woodwork, paintball, and heavy lifting, and using heavy machinery. I think many men are wired for just such activities.
Spoiler: I agree with Eldredge's final statements that we should seek out the things that make us feel alive. I also think the theme of giving up control to God is literally the only way that we can have a true relationship with Him. Therefore, as we cede control we gain everything vs. losing our soul by trying to control everything, which effectively leaves no room for God in our lives. The last part of this review represents certain fundamental themes to the Christian lifestyle and summarizes (in a way) why we (Christians) often describe our journey as a walk with God, because sometimes we are walking with God and other times we forget and stray and reject God.

To be entirely fair, I did not read very much of this book. I have not opened it since throwing it across the room in the midst of a weirdly sexist passage. So I acknowledge that the final four fifths of it might be of far superior quality than the first fifth. But from what little I read, I found it absurd. It takes gender dichotomies seriously and tries to construct a spirituality around it. At best, it is a an interesting artifact in the strange and upsetting culture of gender in American Christianity of a certain type. Maybe at some point I will calm down enough to read it all through and tell you more.

This book and "Waking the Dead" were powerful influencing factors in my 17 year-old psyche, but now I'm not so sure I agree with the general feel of his book. For me and many of my guy friends this book was important in letting us accept our manhood and face the deep questions and wounds of our masculinity. I like that it got us to the table to discuss and wrestle through a topic that is usually hidden. I don't believe that this book appeals to all guys like it did to us already adventuresome "manly men". You don't have to be into rock climbing or mountaineering to be a man, but I think Eldredge would agree. I have heard him criticized for making it seem like real men have to be outdoorsmen and do crazy stuff. He makes no such claims and I think the reason people have a problem with it is that they could be supersensitive to the topic. I like the strong central theme and unapologetic writing. It's very true and important that this society needs men who will face challenges and not back down, get bored, or leave those they should stay and love.

Not bad, there were some parts that I really resonated with and some parts that I thought may have been missing the mark. Overall I think this book was a great way to begin to evaluate the state of my own manhood and the manhood of the church more broadly. I’ll probably pick up fathered by God but not certain yet.

In all honesty, this book was REALLY hard to get through at points. There was a point where I texted both Cole & Alex and told them I couldn’t finish bc of some of the things he said, but alas, I pushed through. I disagree with a little of what he said in a couple of places in the book, but I would still fully suggest and man to read this. I’m feeling more empowered as a Man of God to live without fear and pursue relationship with God & others confidently. Overall, a good book.

Would actually give it 3.5 stars, but .5 points aren’t an option on Goodreads, so I rounded up.

I wanted to read this book again because when I read it the first time 7 years ago it was deeply impactful to my life at the time. I wanted to see if the message held the same weight to a 31 year old married man as to a 25 year old single man and for the most part it did. Its challenge to rise to manhood, seek adventure, and fight for a beauty are what a masculine heart longs for. Quotes like; "let the world feel the weight of who you are as a man, and let them deal with it." and "don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." are inspiring and thought provoking. There was more "fluff" to the message than I had remembered but all in all a book I would recommend.

Where in the Bible does it really suggest that men should be "Wild at Heart?" living constantly on the edge and taking all kinds of risks and engaging in dangerous activities. Of course this idea will appeal to younger men and new Christians but it is completely the opposite of the Biblical model of denying self and taking up the cross to follow Jesus. There's nothing weak or unmanly about that!

If men were born to be "wild", to hunt and fish and rescue damsel's in distress by brute force, how do you explain the fact that God loved Jacob just as much as he loved Esau? Esau was just a dude who had a wild personality. Jacob was more of a poet and a contemplative. They are both good in the Lord's eyes.

In my opinion, John Eldredge is more of an Esau-type personality and people who have similar personalities will enjoy his books. People who are more like Jacob will either see that Eldredge is over-generalizing or go inward and feel like they are not "wild" or manly enough. I chose the former. I pray that those who choose the latter would not go inward, in Jesus' name.

I like Donald Miller's definition of a man, in his book "To Own a Dragon". He says:

"God’s definition of a real man is a person with a penis!...And as much fun as I was having, I was also being serious. It had been a long journey for me, a journey filled with doubt and fear, and the only answer I could come up with is that all the commercials, all the sales tactics that said I wasn’t a real man unless I bought some book, or wore some aftershave, or slept with some cheerleader, were complete lies. If you have a penis, I told the group of guys, God has spoken… You are men. Some of you have never heard this before, but I want to tell you, you are men. You are not boys, you are not children, you are not women, you are men. God has spoken, and when God speaks, the majority has spoken. You are a man."

What a sad excuse for a book's premise. I paged through this, after reading some of the ridiculous reviews, and came away as disgusted as I thought I would be. As soon as men stop attempting to ascribe to outdated theistic (and frankly trite) models of masculinity, the world will be a much safer, better place. I pity women who read this and think they may have come away with a greater understanding of men, as it's a false understanding of throwback, primitive males who have no place in a world culture that can no longer support the aggression and chromosomal ennui predicated upon concepts that fall somewhere between moronic piety and some suppressed lizard brain urge that results in antisocial behavior. Evolve, for "god's" sake.