It is often (and rightly) said that we reread great books, not because the books change but because we do. This is my third reading of the Confessions. I read them as a young man; then again several years ago; and now once more. At each of these stages of my life, God has used the words of Augustine to speak different truths to me. On this reading, some things that struck me more profoundly than in earlier readings are these:

(1)tAugustine’s unbridled honesty about his prior sexual weakness. When we consider that he is writing this while a prominent leader in the church, reflecting back on his life before conversion, I cannot but admire his transparency.
(2)tHis deep friendships also struck me as noteworthy. He has fun with his friends, jokes with them, lives with them, debates with them. They struggle over philosophical and theological questions. And eventually they become Christians together.
(3)tHis relationship with his mother, too, is so personal and moving. We know the name Augustine today because God answered the long-lasting, fervent prayers of Monica.

There is much more, of course, but these are three aspects of the Confessions that hit me in a new and fresh way in this reading. If you have never read the book, make 2025 the year when you do.

“I have become a question to myself” - declares Saint Augustine here. There is a lot of soul-searching, love, and passion in this book – as Augustine changes from an orator, a Manichaeist, and an inveterate lover of women - into one of the founding fathers of Christianity. Decisive to him are his Christian, devoted, loving, and praying mother, the encounter with Neoplatonism, and his passion for God. But then there is his integrity, honesty, sharp mind, and the relentless quest to pose and answer basic philosophical questions about the nature of man, time, matter and forms, language, truth, memory, interpretation, numbers, and so on.

For a whole month, I spent time learning from St. Augustine. I was not a very good student and some days I threw a hissy fit and refused to read any more. I almost wanted to bail out because the spiritual concepts were difficult to fathom. I was glad, therefore, to buddy-read this important work with Ebba Simone. This gave me the extra impetus to persevere and finish reading it.

Even though this book was rather weighty in issues raised for contemplation, I was very impressed and encouraged by Augustine’s love for God and his desire to seek after Him. I was also humbled by his sincerity and honesty in sharing his spiritual journey. Augustine’s conversion story was fascinating. His confessions took the form of conversations with God, which revealed a closeness I covet. It is no small gift that Augustine was willing to grant us access to his private thoughts and struggles as well as his insights, gratitude, and comfort.

Augustine of Hippo (13 November 354 – 28 August 430), also known as Saint Augustine, was a theologian and philosopher of Berber origin and the bishop of Hippo Regius in Numidia, Roman North Africa. Confessions was written sixteen centuries ago. An autobiographical work, it outlined his wayward youth and his conversion to Christianity.

Augustine was a very bright student at Carthage where he won prizes for poetry composition. He loved the theatre where he could vicariously taste eroticism. He had an illustrious liberal education and became a professor of rhetoric. He claimed that he taught his students skills that could save the life of guilty rather than innocent people. From his late teens to young adulthood, Augustine believed in the myths of Manichee. The Manichees were a cult that taught a version of the doctrine of the Trinity, a Christology which excluded the reality of the humanity of Christ. Augustine also dabbled with astrology for a time. A very important influence was Monica, Augustine’s mother who prayed and wept over his waywardness. A bishop she consulted and begged to talk to Augustine but declined, said to her, “Go away from me: as you live, it cannot be that the son of these tears should perish.” I found this moving.

There are thirteen books in this autobiography. The first four books and Book VIII, which chronicled Augustine’s life, were to me the most interesting. The other books contained Augustine’s exploration of evil and its origin, memory, time and eternity, and creation (how the world came to exist). He pursued these topics with an intensity that I was unequal to. What held me was his deep devotion to God that found expression in prayer and praise, which were often touching and beautiful.

I believe that the ictus to Augustine’s ‘Confessions’ can be summed up in this thought which he articulated and is often quoted:

n  “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”n

This was exemplified in Augustine’s own life. It is also a theme expressed in varied ways throughout this work. Rest was a fitting conclusion to this autobiography where we are directed to the final sabbath rest of eternity.

I have penned a gist of my thoughts and summary to each of the thirteen books. Consider it a spoiler of sorts if you wish to read this book.

Book I. Early Years
I must say that the prose style is a bit formal (for want of a better word) and takes some getting used to. But what struck me was Augustine's desire for closeness to God - a desire to know God and to be known. That is admirable. I like learning about his childhood and what irked him about school. I was touched by his humility and how he ascribed his gifts to God.

Book II. Adolescence
Augustine confessed to the atrocities he committed as a wayward youth whose prime motivation was social approval. He admitted to a perversity that took pleasure in doing evil: “I had no motive for my wickedness except wickedness itself. It was foul, and I loved it. I loved the self-destruction, I loved my fall, not the object for which I had fallen but my fall itself.” There is wise reflection too that friendship can be a dangerous enemy especially for young and vulnerable youth.

Book III. Student at Carthage
Augustine’s awareness of grace shone in this book that recounted his waywardness in his adolescent years when he strayed from his faith. He was sexually promiscuous and impregnated a young girl. Yet, he knew God chastised him but not as he deserved. He had a godly mother who grieved over his sinful ways and prayed for him. Augustine recalled visions of assurance his mother shared with him that his prodigal self would find its way home one day.

Book IV. Manichee and Astrologer
Augustine took pride in his liberal education that was the mark of a cultivated gentleman. He also prided himself on his intelligence and ability to access difficulty learning on his own without the need for instructors. He believed in astrology and religion (Manichee, a weird cult) for him was mere superstition with no knowledge of the true God. However, he felt led each step of his ‘mistaken life’ by an invisible hand through various individuals such as the wise doctor, Helvius Vindicianus, who persuaded him that astrology was utterly bogus. His thoughts about the good life in God as our true home are beautifully expressed and comforting. This was a difficult book to read and I did not understand some things I read.

Book V. Carthage, Rome and Milan
Book V was written like a conversation with God about his seduction and deception by the Manichees and how God in answer to his mother’s tearful prayers and His grace led him to see through the vacuousness of the cult. He wrote about his disappointment with Faustus, the eloquent Manichee Bishop, who was unable to answer his questions and dodged them by his charm and smooth-talk. At this time, he did not consider himself a sinner. His conceived of sin merely as an alien nature within human beings. He also had a mistaken notion that God has mass and is not a spirit. He also mentioned moving from Carthage to Rome and finally to Milan to find more satisfying teaching positions in rhetoric. What was moving was Augustine’s awareness of God’s pursuit of him in all his wandering and his mother’s constant love for him and prayers, which God honored.

Chapter VI. Secular Ambitions and Conflicts
This marked a period in Augustine’s life when he no longer believed in the Manichees and was also not a Catholic Christian. He spoke of friendships he made which were significant in shaping his future life and beliefs. One notable friend was Alypius who later became Bishop of Thagaste. Augustine also revealed his erotic indulgence and his fear of being without a woman’s embrace. Again, we read about his awareness of divine guidance in his journey toward the truth. Rest is a key theme. Augustine said of God, “You alone are repose.”

Book VII A Neoplatonic Quest
A period of seeking and searching to understand the problem of evil. He acknowledged the immutability of God and even professed to love God. But his soul was weighed down by his sexual weakness. He was puffed up with knowledge. He could not enjoy God.

Book VIII The Birthpangs of Conversion
This interesting book described the turning point of Augustine’s life. It detailed his titanic struggles to give up his carnal habits and surrender his will to serve God. It recounted the events and people that directed his path towards giving up eroticism and earthly ambition. What an amazing encounter with God!

Book IX. Cassiciacum: to Monica’s death
This book described Augustine’s life post-conversion: his gratitude, his resignation from public work as a rhetoric professor, and how he loved reading and praying the Psalms. I read Psalm 4 and was moved by his response to it. It described the conversations he had with his mother, Monica, prior to her death. Monica was a significant influence upon Augustine’s life. What a devout and God-fearing woman!

Book X. Memory
Augustine confessed to a range of temptations of the flesh (the lust of the eye in various forms) that he continued to struggle with. I admired his honesty. He prayed for God’s mercy to help him fulfill his desire to love and please God. He wrote about the power of memory. “It is a vast and infinite profundity.” Is memory independent of the mind? He wrote about joy, too. Joy is the happy life. In his words, “That is the authentic happy life, to set one’s joy on you, grounded in you and caused by you. That is the real thing, and there is no other.”

Book XI. Time and Eternity
In this book, Augustine asked a question: Why pray when God our Father knows what we need before we ask him? His answer: “Therefore I lay bare my feelings towards you, by confessing to you my miseries and your mercies to us (Ps 32:22) so that the deliverance you have begun may be complete. So I may cease to be wretched in myself and may find happiness in you.” Another key idea in this book is that God created time. There ls a lengthy discussion on when and how time is measured and what time means relative to eternity. Augustine had a curious mind that was very tenacious in seeking answers to his obscure questions. I was much less interested and became impatient and irritated as his deliberations grew more and more intense.

Book XII Platonic and Christian Creation
Augustine acknowledged that God granted him insight into creation. This was a very intricate exploration of what is meant by “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” Here is an example of an insight he gained: “Again you said to me, in a loud voice to my inner ear, that not even that created realm, ‘the heaven of heaven’, is co-eternal with you. Its delight is exclusively in you.” From what seems to me the murky depths of his confessions, his sincerity, indefatigable curiosity, and hunger for the truth rose to prominence. He was so earnest I felt ashamed to be impatient with his confessions. In all his wrangling about truth, he was certain that God made all things visible and invisible with His immutable word.

Book XIII. Finding the Church in Genesis 1.
Book XIII is a beautifully written book. Augustine spoke eloquently of a Good God and how he put His goodness in us that we may do good. “Be fruitful and multiply’ which was told Adam and Eve was extended to the church. Interestingly, “these fruits of the earth are to be allegorically interpreted as meaning works of mercy.” In his role as a Bishop, Augustine was committed to how the church could help the poor and needy. In a separate vein, he also talked how men should not sit in judgement of God’s Word even when it seemed obscure to us. A man can only know and love God by asking that He renews our mind and quickens our understanding. Finally, he concluded by describing the sabbath rest of eternal life when our journey on earth comes to an end.

Le confessioni: ”se nessuno me lo chiede so cos'è, ma se mi chiede che cos'è, non lo so più”

Anche se volessi fare una vera riflessione su questo libro non ne sarei capace: è troppo. Alle Confessioni si potrebbe attribuire il gioco di parole che nel libro undicesimo introduce all'esperienza del tempo: ”se nessuno me lo chiede so cos'è, ma se mi chiede che cos'è, non lo so più”.
Per farlo:
mi bisognerebbe la fede, che non ho, per capire il colloquio a tratti passionale tra Agostino e Dio;

mi bisognerebbe, per penetrarne la filosofia e la spiritualità, la conoscenza dei padri della chiesa interpreti delle scritture e di Plotino di cui francamente non sono mai riuscita a capire quel pochissimo che ho letto;

mi bisognerebbero cinquant’anni di meno come ai tempi della prima lettura - non so più se ne capii qualcosa - per non sembrarmi esagerati sensi di colpa e vergogna per atti e fatti comuni a tutte le adolescenze e gioventù di ogni epoca e a maggior ragione per quella società di decadenza;

mi bisognerebbe non avere, sempre, nella mente la “shoah” per accettare che il male non esiste essendo semplicemente mancanza di bene.

E allora?
Stupiamoci e chiniamo la testa di fronte alla più grande e profonda riflessione sul tempo che sfiora l’intuizione dello spazio-tempo e in cui il compiacimento del bel ragionamento, che permea tutto il libro, quasi scompare davanti al sincero sbigottimento di Agostino per i proteiformi aspetti del tempo, “ancorato al soggetto che porta in sé il passato, e si tende verso il futuro, conoscibile attraverso lo stesso passato» come scrisse Maria Betterini, studiosa di Agostino.

It was slow, it was dense, and it was militantly Christian. So why is that The Confessions is such an unavoidably fascinating work? Augustine appears here as a fully realized person, with all the good and the bad that that implies; it's as if the book was a conversation with God and a fly-on-the-wall was taking dictation. Since God obviously would have known Augustine's transgressions before they even occurred, Augustine thus has nothing to hide in this personal narrative, or at least makes it appear that way. The prose of this translation must be incredibly different from its Latin source, but it's obvious that Augustine has a force of personality that appears through his work that few writer have matched in the centuries that have followed this original Western autobiography. The power and beauty of his writing was no doubt aided by his devotion not only to The Bible, but to Cicero, Plato, and especially Virgil. It's also an incomparably fascinating window into the culture of the time: the Manicheans, Astrologers, Christians, and Pagans are all interesting studies through the eyes of this saint. His contributions to philosophy in this text cannot be ignored even today. Bertrand Russell (not exactly a churchgoer) admired his work on time, and it's still an enlightening experience to read these thoughts. And of course the story of spiritual awakening is an inspiring and beautiful one, a story that is not altogether dissimilar to that of the Buddha centuries before Augustine.

Although, especially at the start, it can be slow and cold reading, The Confessions more than justifies its position as one of the most important books ever written.

I have a few *very* mild theological issues with this, but otherwise it is a marvelous masterpiece that everyone should read. I am very excited to read it in Latin (so excited that I might just do it this summer even though I could wait for a class sometime in the next couple of years... I can tell this book will be better in Latin.)

Will be back to add quotes!

(I read books 1-9 for my literature class. I plan to read 10-13 over spring or summer break, but even if I don't I am counting this for my reading challenge because that's basically a whole book, right?)

(My rules for what counts as "reading" a book have relaxed this semester as I've realized that if I didn't count reading most of a book, I would have read four or five less books than Goodreads says I have. And we cannot have that. Because I certainly did read most of those books. So I'm saying they count.)

Augustine's Confessions is a literary masterpiece of world-historical importance, to be sure. There is hardly a subsequent European Christian author for whom his work did not loom as the very paradigm of how doctrine is to be approached, and how it is to illuminate one's individual life and reflection. It forms the acme of moral inventory and autobiographical reflection, and contributes mightily to the European concept of interiority and subjectivity which, in Charles Taylor's sense, provides one way of answering the question, what is the self?

I would not myself take it as an exposition of timeless truth, but I think the author himself would not have it be taken thus, fifteen hundred years after it was set down. Rather, I will follow his own proposed model and allow that what was good for certain people in certain remote ages is not necessarily what is good for us.

In my view, this book consists of three principle parts. The first is the autobiographical confession for which this book is principally known; the second is an allegorical interpretation of the beginning of Genesis influenced heavily by his reading of the Neoplatonists; the third is the mysterious conjunction of these two in a single work, which receives little explanation, and which, I think, is intended as a kind of koan, or an enigmatic and edifying puzzle, for the reader's contemplation. I will leave this last mystery to the reader's own imagination and take up the first two, briefly.

The story of Augustine's life is well-known - his growth from a precocious, well-educated youth to a Manichaean, his brief foray into Neoplatonism, and his subsequent conversion to Christianity. This journey is presented by the author as a kind of morality tale in which he gradually learns what he needs to learn in order to accept right doctrine, and here his encounter with Neoplatonism was decisive. Although he is clear that its abstract idiom left his compelling existential and soteriological concerns unaddressed, it nevertheless provided him conceptually with the tools he needed to conceive of spiritual matters in abstract terms. An illustration of this paradigm may be seen in his analysis of Genesis.

Here I must say that I fundamentally differ from Augustine's moral paradigm, which in my eyes is chiefly concerned with virtue, in the sense of coming to know what is the right thing to do, and doing that thing. My own moral idiom is fundamentally motivated by compassion and care for all beings.

Take, for example, the famous story of the pear tree, which Augustine uses as a case study in the depravity of his youth, and the nature of sin in general. As a boy, Augustine conspired with other youths to despoil a neighbor's pear tree, having no need of its fruit, and indeed having their own store of better-quality pears, but they delighted in the act of transgression itself.

Augustine unpacks this incident at some length and is disturbed by what he sees as the intrinsic compulsion for people to do wrong for its own sake, and to take a kind of delight in it. It is this "for its own sake" that characterizes his moral concern, while to me what is of even greater concern is the effect this act had on his neighbor, whose pears were robbed, and who may not have been able to easily bear their loss. But this does not occupy Augustine's reflection in the least - what matters to him is the intrinsic rightness or wrongness of the act itself.

I take a certain anthropological and psychological interest in walking down this road with Augustine, but I do not agree that whether or not we've got it is the most important thing. I suppose this is a question of whether one follows the Christ of the beatitudes, and take the injunction to love one's neighbor as one's self as pre-eminent, or one follows the Christ of Paul, who takes the assertion of the right creed as redemptive and thus of cardinal importance. For myself, I would rather be wrong and do my neighbor right than the opposite.

So I can only go so far along with Augustine in his agonized self-reflection, absorbed as it is with a question of right doctrine, and also convinced of the wickedness of man in a degree that in my mind debases the spiritual reality and potentiality of human life. I would not agree, for example, that a badly-behaved baby is acting sinfully, though for Augustine it is the manifest cruelty of infants that demonstrates the doctrine of original sin. For Augustine, behind every human error lies sin, and I do not see it that way.

As a philosopher, I naturally found Augustine's allegorical reading of Genesis rather exciting, though it may leave some readers confused. I was particularly fascinated by his analysis of time, his demonstration that it cannot mean what we normally take it to mean, and his use of that argument to demonstrate that the priority of various acts in the sequence of creation as presented in Genesis cannot be taken to mean a literal, temporal priority, but rather a logical or ontological priority. For God, for whom all time is equally "now," the act of creation is always, and creation is always created and sustained by the act of creation, which seems to our senses to be the play of time.

This is clearly one of the most important books in the late classical period, and of colossal importance for understanding the intellectual history of Latin Europe. Fortunately, it is highly readable and often engrossing.

Feels rather like reading the Psalms. That should tell you it's good.

Prvo, Avgustin je veliki mislilac, beskrajno uticajan teolog, prefinjen psiholog i sjajan stilista. Drugo, Avgustin je zli smarač.
Zli. Smarač.
Koliko god da su ispovedni delovi Ispovesti - po slobodnoj proceni oko polovine - fenomenalan uvid u spor i mučan proces preobraćanja i psihologiju ne-tako-ranog hrišćanina, toliko umeju i da zaškripe u sukobu sa modernim senzibilitetom: manje kad npr. piše o svom odnosu sa dugogodišnjom ljubavnicom, sa kojom je imao i dete, a više u trenucima poput onog kad uz veliko kajanje priznaje kako je zgrešio tako što je plakao kad mu je majka umrla, ili kad na više strana raspravlja o tome da li je prihvatljivo da se verske himne pevaju na prijatne melodije, ili je to preveliki ustupak grešnom zadovoljstvu u čulnim uživanjima.
Dakle, Ispovesti su sjajno štivo ako vas zanima istorija teologije, istorija ideja, uvid u duševna stanja manihejca koji prelazi u (vr-lo neoplatoničarsko) hrišćanstvo, rane rasprave o prirodi vremena i pamćenja - ali istovremeno su izbezumljujuće na onom čisto ljudskom nivou, kao kad krenete da škrgućete zubima i pominjete svetom Pavlu sve po spisku zbog njegovog pogubnog uticaja na hrišćanski svetonazor.

Reading the Confessions I feel like I am encountering Augustine face to face, his voice has such passion and immediacy.

I used to hate Augustine of Hippo. I found him too anxious, too focused on the sexual sins he was sure he was committing, and too sure about the fallen nature of human beings. The Confessions changed all that for me. It's like how when you meet someone you can't judge them in the same way any more; The Confessions helped me understand that Augustine--like everyone--was trying to understand his life, his place in the world, and his motivations for doing things. Most importantly, The Confessions helped me understand my own yearning for something bigger than myself, and why placing myself front and center had always been disastrous, and always would be. Augustine has made me a wiser person, surely--I understand God, people, politics, art, and beauty better thanks to him--but he's also made me a better writer and critic, and this is the best place to make his acquaintance (and for some, to finish. Augustine was trained as a classical orator, and he is not an easy read, even in a good translation like this).

This is an introspective book. In it, St. Augustine traces his spiritual journey — from the hedonism and materialism of his early youth — to intellectual pursuits of secular philosophy, academic success, and worldly wisdom — to attempting to reach God via alternative spirituality, a blend of false asceticism, skepticism of scripture, and a cafeteria approach to truths of the Church — then, finally, to full repentance from these to acceptance of and obedience to Jesus Christ and His Church.

Augustine critically examines each thought process within each of these stages of his life. It’s a long process — as it has been also for those on similar spiritual journeys.

There is a poetry and a beauty to much of his writing. In other places, however, Augustine seems stuck in a rut as he ruminates at length on some aspect of one of his life’s events or periods that can make it seem plodding at times.

In other places, such as near the end — as seemed his wont to do in “City of God” — he seemingly gets sidetracked into long philosophical, intellectual discussions. In one chapter, he does this on the topic of time. I found it very dull, and, although he weaves God’s nature of timelessness into the discussion, it seemed almost an effort to appeal to debates among the pagan and atheist philosophers of his day.

However, over all, “Confessions “ deserves its place as one of the great works of Early Christianity — the story of a man who made that difficult journey from the empty trifles of a world in decline to a place of building a close relationship with God via the life of the Church. I recommend it for those interested in the Early Church, in theology or philosophy, or in Christian spiritual growth and progress.