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So I cannot, for the life of me, read Thoreau. And this may not be entirely his fault. It may not just be that I find him frustratingly ignorant, pompous, rambling, lacking cohesion & coherence, more irritatingly than profoundly without style, hypocritical, blah blah blah... Because when I think these things I assume it's at least partly because I'm either too stupid or too culturally vapid to "get it" (tho in this case that theory's feeling a little stretched).
To be fair, Thoreau also has pretty shit luck w/ me. When I finally got around to reading a full collection of his essays this week it was for a class, making this the first time I can EVER IN MY LIFE remember reading something I didn't want to read (so of course, irritatedface); I was also around 3/4 of the way thru when I picked up a copy of The Botany of Desire, which makes the former collection look like preschool sketchwork & illustrates perfectly my theory that Michael Pollan's nature writings (his less overtly-about-agribusiness writings) are Thoreau minus suck.
So now I'm pretty much ruined for Thoreau, even tho Pollan quotes him & references him & generally seems to boycrush on him. Whatever, Michael Pollan; you may not be happy about it, but you've allowed me to feel WAY SUPER COMFY about my visceral hatred for such essays as "Walking," which, even if I'm humming along comfortably for a while, underlining & marking, suddenly breaks out such gems as "I THINK THAT THE FARMER DISPLACES THE INDIAN EVEN BECAUSE HE REDEEMS THE MEADOW, AND SO MAKES HIMSELF STRONGER AND IN SOME RESPECTS MORE NATURAL" (caps & emphasis mine, obvs), or the bullshit about the "weapons" ("the bush-whack, the turf-cutter, the spade, and the bog-hoe, rusted with the blood of many a meadow") that make the farmer's ability to "redeem" nature far superior to the unskilled following of the Indian to natural occurring sources of food, or whatever fuck'd & self-contradictory political ramblings, oh my GOD I am so grossed out.
Thoreau, you were probably a pretty cool dude once, but right now you seem like a libertarian without the constitution, a naturalist without a respect for (or knowledge of) real nature, a man opposed to the press who finds himself entrenched in its habits. I will "appreciate your relevance" but I will not like you, & I will only ever read you when people make me, because Michael Pollan is like you if you were educated & relevant (but I know, dude, "every thought that passes through the mind helps to wear and tear it" - !!!!!!), if you were capable of transitions, if you cut out yr empty lines of political propaganda, if you were able to integrate culture & history & politics & mythology & science & some openly speculative musings into something enjoyable to read, if you didn't sound like such an obnoxious little fucker. You are gross, Pollan is sexy, the end. Now I'm going to go lie on the beach w/ a good book, goddamn it.