With this, I have the sense that Russo is speaking directly to me, his reader: Pay attention, chica, I'm not just a funnyboy. Not that he seems to come down with a clear thesis about whether one can or can't successfully combine tragedy and comedy, but rather that he seems to be asking that we pay attention to the tension between the two. And the book does begin to carry more weight, as seemingly hyperbolic characters become increasingly more real, and thus more felt by the reader, as the pages turn. Russo's humor also begins to carry gravitas around the thesis that, with middle age stability comes an unstable longing for change - even if that change might be disastrous to the one longing for it. We begin to see Hank's antics as simply a way to break out of the rut of his life. And, in a few moments of sincerity that juxtapose the humor, something truly poignant is articulated."Because," I explain to them, without conviction, "it was a comic, not a serious, threat. Because the man who threatened to kill a duck a day until he got a budget was wearing a fake nose and glasses. Because it makes no sense to carry out a comic threat to serious consequence."
Needless to say, we end where we began, unpersuaded. My argument, that tragedy and comedy don't mix, that they must remain discrete, runs contrary to their experience. Indeed, it may run contrary to my own. These students have watched this very class begin in low comedy and end in something, if not serious, at least no longer funny. They file out, sullen, confused (268).
Why do I find this paragraph so moving? Because it's the first sincere thing Hank has said in 323 pages? Maybe. Do I find it all the more sincere because of this? Perhaps. And perhaps, too, it's because I can understand the sentiment, and it helps me to understand Hank's longings that have caused him to act so unseriously (the very thing I couldn't understand). Ultimately, it seems to me that the tension between this longing for change/alienation and the habitual comfort of stability/community is what this seemingly light and funny book is about. Hank's confession that he feels a thrill at the possibility of dire news is offset by his acknowledgement that we deeply rely on the weight of our existing life, to hold on to ourselves.I do not want to die. I'm as sure of this, I think, as a man can reasonably be. I do not want to learn, when I speak to [my doctor] tomorrow, that the asymmetry he thought he felt in my prostate is a tumor, and yet, there is a part of me that would thrill to receive such news. Why that should be I cannot imagine. Nor do I want the woman that I'm married to and that I love to leave me, but the thought of her doing so moves me in a way that our growing old together and contentedly slipping, in affectionate tandem, toward the grave does not. The thought of Lily's having found someone to replace me is not welcome, but an urgent new love - and what makes the world stranger than love? - is a thing that I could half-wish for her. For me (323).
Hank explains to us earlier in the novel that "I know you, Al. You're not the kind of man who..." is an exercise on characterization for fiction students - one I used in my own classrooms, when I taught fiction. "He was the sort of man who still opened doors for women." "She was the sort of woman who'd remember something you told her 5 years ago, and use it against you now in an argument as a sign of some moral failing." "I know you, Al. You're not the kind of man who would claim to have read something you hadn't." The fiction exercise is useful for sharpening students' writing - to get at the essence of someone's character with only a few words. As a statement on us, we living human beings, it's interesting to think of how we're simultaneously supported and weighed down by the knowledge others have of us. I sometimes feel the longing to start all over, make all new friends and loved ones, and thereby erase all things from my past I'm ashamed of. But who would I be then? And who could I look to, to better understand?The truth is, we never know for sure about ourselves. Who we'll sleep with if given the opportunity, who we'll betray in the right circumstance, whose faith and love we will reward with our own. [...] Only after we've done a thing do we know what we'll do, and by then whatever we've done has already begun to sever itself from clear significance, at least for the doer.
Which is why we have spouses and children and parents and colleagues and friends, because someone has to know us better than we know ourselves. We need them to tell us. We need them to say, "I know you, Al. You're not the kind of man who" (374).