Please don't be depressed: nothing is sad about you except your sadness...
When man is no longer his own master, custodian of his own silly vanities and childish contentments he's nothing at all—being in the first place only an agent of a very experimental stage of organic free will
It was as though they were waiting for something to happen
While this is an extremely thorough biography of the life of Zelda Fitzgerald, I was ultimately left exhausted by her story. I've come across other Goodreads reviews that place the blame on F. Scott Fitzgerald for her insanity. However, it's important to note that schizophrenia is an inherited disorder and not an acquired disease. Typically, it manifests in late twenties or even during the teen years. Back when I was a third-year medical student, we were taught not to focus solely on the content of a schizophrenic's speech but rather on its pattern. As the speech became more incoherent, we would increase the patient's medications. Reading this biography, I couldn't help but wonder when these medications became available.
And so my dilemma lies in whether I actually enjoyed this book. I found the story profoundly fascinating and yet, at the same time, it was all together too tragic. This is ultimately the story of two clearly brilliant individuals. One was the professional writer, who also happened to be an alcoholic. The other was his chanteuse wife, who unfortunately became schizophrenic. I constantly found myself wondering if Zelda, had she not lost her mental balance, would have gone on to become an even better writer than her husband. There are hints that while Fitzgerald used alcohol as a crutch, he was ultimately a fairly disciplined writer. Zelda's writings, on the other hand, contain moments of beautiful and elegant prose. She initially clung to her husband but later desired independence. Sadly, Fitzgerald blamed her for ruining his life as he was financially burdened by supporting her in mental institutions. I can see the egotism in Fitzgerald, as well as his underlying insecurity, but also an incredible love for his wife. Throughout her illness, despite finding love elsewhere, he kept the flame of hope burning for Zelda, encouraging her to use her creativity as a source of salvation. In the end, both were consumed by their demons, and yet, in their heyday, they shone as the brightest of all stars.