An intense and captivating picture of an evolving creative mind is presented in The Journals of John Cheever. These journals have had a profound impact on me, suffocating my sense of self. Cheever's intimate and detailed entries offer the reader an almost crystal-clear view of his literary and life landscape. As I read Robert Gottlieb's 'Editor's Note', I discovered that in the process of publication, with Cheever having written approximately 4 million words, we are only getting a small sample of his life. There is not much that can be said about the content that was left out in juxtaposition to what remained, except to note that the writer revealed to me was incredibly sensitive and attuned to his self to the point of masochism.
I cannot claim to have enjoyed reading this great collection in the traditional sense. However, it was undeniably a reading journey worth embarking on. At times, I was exhausted by the banality of his thoughts, yet it was precisely these words that compelled me to continue. I read it over the course of four long sittings, as the journal was a fascinating and beautifully expressed celebration of the love of life. Cheever does not explicitly articulate the process and outcome of his work, but through his often troubled and secretive thoughts, one can gain an idea of the process by proxy.
I have not completed Cheever's entire body of work, but I have read enough to make me eager to know both the writer and the man. What I actually received was a glimpse into the life of a husband, father, lover, and homosexual. The last sentence on page 347, "...I am gay. I am gay, I am at last free of all this. This did not last long," captures the essence of a significant portion of his entries. Cheever, as far as I could tell from what I read, clearly enjoyed sex with women, and his male lovers were equally important to him. However, he was constantly attempting to reconcile his feelings and faith, never once using the term bisexual.
Cheever was a loving and sexually driven husband, although the love was not reciprocated by Mary in the same vigorous manner in which he expressed it to her. She, of course, loved him, and throughout the journal, Cheever's thoughts and proclamations about how he had to beg Mary for sex are prominent. According to Cheever, she managed to resist his advances throughout their entire marriage. He had affairs with both men and women, yet he loved his wife and desired her until the day he died. Their marriage came close to divorce on multiple occasions, but it never actually happened. John Cheever's narrative on growing older, illness, and his reflections on time provide the reader with an extremely vivid picture of the ageing process. I will leave it to you to decide the messages that can be gleaned from his work.
Whether reading Cheever's short stories or his novels, such as Falconer, a lovely and deeply moving narrative of prison life and the love between prisoners, or The Stories of John Cheever, a fantastic page-turning collection that is well worth your time, one can see how the writer and the man merge. His experiences, distorted by fiction, are a great companion to his journal.