This is sort of a review, with spoilers.
The quote "If I just hadn't been drowning I wouldn't have hated, I would have forgiven..." by Peyton really stuck with me. It also describes the dysfunctional 'family' in the story. All the characters are laid bare in their sins, and delving into their mindsets is not easy, yet it is masterfully delivered, keeping the reader engaged until the very end. Because, in the end, through Peyton, we discover the truth and the consequences of the actions. Milton, her father, is helpless against Helen and Peyton. Helen uses him, whatever feelings she may have at the time, because she hates all men and accepts that she is incapable of love. She uses every man in this story, especially how she wants people and society to perceive her. She uses Maudie as a tool of sympathy, which, as a reader, I admit I fell for at the beginning to understand her. Understanding is what Peyton desires, but neither Helen nor Peyton truly needs it. Peyton is a lighter version of Helen but has the potential to be a better person if she works hard for it. She knows she has this potential, but she misses home, and it is the nature of one's attachment to family that makes her 'drown'. She is confused and contaminated by the sins of her family. "They never learned" she cried once. She tries oblivion like her father through drinking, but she is too aware of her father's special love for her and of the past versus the present. She punishes herself for punishing others through men. She mentions how strangers pose no threat.
She tries to hold onto faith to move on, but that too has been tainted by her mother, by Helen. "Why was it when I thought of prayer I thought of home: why these two things always together, giving me grief?" - Peyton.
Peyton has also tried punishment, sin, and ultimately, love, but all have failed. Her desire to live in a more contemporary world at that time is marred by her home. The psychology that she goes through, the reliance, and the last bit of faith that lies in fantasy, all hurt as she experiences it.
"To walk into a dark closet and lie down there and dream away my sins, hoping to wake in another land, fantastic dawn?" - Peyton.
I rate this book four stars because of its amazing journey through the darkness of conscience. And I love Peyton. She was born, raised, and taught by lies in the darkness. Freedom takes on a different meaning once you are down there. Her suicide was a choice of her own, not an act of cowardice.