It is impossible to ignore the acrid bitterness of this book, its smug leering prose. The narrative voice, preening in its misplaced confidence that it is oh-so-smart and oh-so-raunchy, is full of swaggering condescension towards the people and the setting it has created. The joke is the people, and the people are the joke. This is the Nelson Muntz of novels, pointing and laughing, pointing and laughing because funny fat man fall down. I cannot remember the last book I read that had so little empathy for anyone on the page.
The most pressing issue is that this is a book about ‘The South’ written by an author who appears to have never been even as far as South London, and as such The South of this novel is populated with caricature rubes, idiots, losers and lotharios of all shapes and sizes (those sizes being universally overweight, of course, because ha ha, it’s the South.) Pierre aims for the loving mockery of Kennedy Toole’s A Confederacy of Dunces or Portis’ The Dog Of The South, but Vernon God Little never even approaches those novels’ warmth or depth of description, their surety in their local knowledge or their intimacy of tone. This is the novel about The South for people who saw one episode of Dallas and drew their conclusions from there. It’s Now That’s What I Call Dunces! The Novel!
Having failed to mount a nuanced critique of the many social injustices plaguing America, especially as it existed in the malaise of the post 9/11 period, it instead settles for the sneering judgement and snideness of tone so beloved of neoliberalism today. There’s not a huge gap from the “well, now who believes in global warming” reaction of many pundits following Hurricane Harvey to Pierre’s apparent belief that The South is filled entirely with hayseeds and harlots. Incidentally, this is a novel set in TEXAS whose only two Latino/Latina characters are both lying, smooth talking lotharios concerned only with fame and fortune. The fact that they are not named Jose and Jose-B is frankly astounding. The novel is mean and one-note and thumbs its nose at the first rule of comedy: punch up. This is a novel whose main thesis is that school shootings are bad and occur often and that Americans love a media circus. True, if also patently obvious. Its rejoinder to this is that it’d sure be funny if the investigating sheriff always had a barbecue stain on his dere bolo tie. It offers no solutions. It just sits there prodding your arm, trying to get your attention at how provocatively brave it’s being. It has nothing to say, and it delights in saying it. The audiobook should have been read by Bill Maher, nasally intoning “What? Too soon?” until the battery on your Kindle self-immolates.
Here is another note on the comedy in this book. Often, these characters, because they are from the South and ergo, stupid, will misstate common brand names or famous celebrities. Here are some of them: Brian Gumball for Bryant Gumbel, Tomberlans for Timberlands, Manual Cunt for Immanuel Kant. Did you laugh? Did the dying synapses in your brain fire off a last pinprick of energy at the thought of some rube thinking his name is GUMBALL? This happens approximately fifty times over the course of the novel. As Hannibal Buttress would say, “Ha ha ha. This sucks.”
Mostly, this novel is like talking to a man who warns you that he’s really fond of edgy jokes, only to find that all of them are “if you own an ATV, you might just be a redneck.” At this point, we should take all the British ‘enfant terrible’ writers like Pierre, Amis, and Liddle and just float them off to a nice island upstate where they can relax and use oldtimey racial slurs in peace like they so clearly want to do. I’m not asking this novel to have the depth or interest in the historical biases of justice of say, a James Baldwin or a Michelle Alexander. I am asking it not to do 300 pages of Paul Blart outtakes and ask the reader to consider this the height of satire.
Let me sum up this novel by paying tribute to its inimitable style: this novel is as fucken shallow as that Lada Gogo song. There are honky tonk bars in Rhode Island that understand The South better than this novel does.