Tobias Wolff is widely regarded as a master in the realm of short stories among those who have a penchant for this literary form. His novel, Old School, unfortunately, did not manage to fully harness the brilliance that he showcases in his short works. As a result, I must confess that I had some reservations about his memoir.

However, I could not have been more mistaken. Wolff dissects his upbringing with the objectivity and clarity of an outsider, offering us a profound understanding of his actions and, more often than not, his missteps. From the constant peregrinations with his single mother as she fled a tumultuous relationship, to enduring an abusive stepfather, from mercilessly taunting his best friend to deceitfully gaining entry into a boarding school, Wolff makes no attempt to sugarcoat his past or even rationalize his actions.

Instead, he allows his experiences to speak for themselves while simultaneously providing us with a peek into the inner workings of his mind at the time. It is truly remarkable and engaging stuff that makes for a captivating read.

This is a memoir that is thoroughly enjoyable, yet at times tragic.

It takes the reader on a captivating journey through the author's life, filled with a mix of emotions.

The enjoyable parts are those that showcase the author's humor, love, and moments of pure joy. These sections make the reader smile and feel a sense of warmth.

However, the tragic elements add depth and complexity to the story. They highlight the hardships and challenges that the author has faced, making the reader empathize and perhaps even shed a tear.

Overall, this memoir is a beautiful and poignant piece of writing that will stay with the reader long after they have finished turning the pages. It is a testament to the power of the human spirit and the ability to find beauty and meaning in even the most difficult of circumstances.

I truly adored this book. I'm not entirely certain whether it was the enchanting story, the masterful writing, or perhaps a combination of both that completely enthralled me.

Tobias Wolfe's mother abandoned her husband and whisked Tobias away with her. They journeyed from one place to another, and from one man to another. Eventually, she remarried, and together with Tobias, they settled in Washington State. At this time, Tobias changed his name to Jack, deliberately distancing himself from his father. Living with his step-siblings, his abusive step-father, and a mother who chose to turn a blind eye, 'Jack' was what was once known as a juvenile delinquent. Yet, against all odds, he somehow managed to rise above it all.

The writing is exquisite, capable of eliciting a wide range of emotions within the reader. It makes you laugh, cringe, cry, and hope that 'Jack' can get his life in order. However, with a hapless mother and an absentee father, the odds seem stacked against him. The fact that this is a fictionalized account of his life makes it abundantly clear that he has triumphed over the difficult circumstances dealt to him.

This is one of the incidents where I read the book after watching the movie adaptation.

Because I was so impressed by the outstanding acting in the movie, I had a strong desire to know more about the author through his own work.

However, this particular book turned out to be a huge disappointment. In fact, the 1993 movie based on this book was far superior.

The book was extremely boring and failed to convey the same depth of feelings and emotions that Leonardo DiCaprio as Tobias Wolff and Robert De Niro as Toby's stepfather were able to bring to life on the screen.

Their rough yet beautiful acting added a layer of authenticity and charm that was completely absent from the written word.

And this is precisely why I often avoid reading biographies. They can be so dull and uninteresting, lacking the excitement and drama that a good movie can offer.

It seems that in some cases, the movie adaptation is able to capture the essence of the story and its characters in a way that the book simply cannot.

Wolff’s memoir of his nomadic, fatherless childhood is truly captivating. His divorced mother, in search of wealth and the right man, moved Toby, who later renamed himself Jack, from Florida to Utah and then to Washington State. There, she married Dwight, who was clearly the wrong choice, especially for Jack.

Jack descends into delinquency without remorse, engaging in activities like drinking, lying, stealing, and property destruction. He even submits falsified documents to get into a private school. Despite detailing his misdeeds, the adult Wolff manages to keep us on the boy Jack’s side. It wasn't until halfway through the book that I realized Dwight wasn't the only bad guy.

Wolff makes us understand that at the core of a troubled kid is the search for personal power, even if it's misguided. Watching World War II movies, Jack learned the wrong lessons, believing that victims are contemptible and that it's better to be on the side of power.

Jack ultimately escapes to the private school he deceived his way into, but fails there and is eventually expelled. He then joins the army, still unredeemed. However, in the final passage, he relives a nighttime ride with his friend Chuck, and they break into song, believing they have broken free from their troubled pasts.

Jack/Toby grew up to be a respected writer and teacher. I truly hope he writes a sequel, as I'm eager to know the details of his transformation from a powerless boy to a man who now empowers others.

Tobias Wolff issues this caution to readers of This Boy’s Life: A Memoir: “I have been corrected on some points, mostly of chronology. Also my mother thinks a dog I describe as ugly was actually quite handsome. I’ve allowed some of these points to stand, because this is a book of memory, and memory has its own story to tell.”

Nevertheless, I found Wolff to be a fairly credible, trustworthy, first-person narrator. The boyhood mischief he perpetrated is truly of the You-Couldn’t-Make-Up-This-Stuff variety.

I was reminded of other fictional coming-of-age stories, but Wolff's antics compared to those of protagonists in works like Last Bus to Wisdom or The Bartender’s Tale by Ivan Doig are at a level bordering on juvenile delinquency or even criminality. His escapades include shoplifting, under-age drinking, joy-riding in the family car without permission, attempting to write fraudulent checks, and falsifying school records.

And yet, readers will likely warm to Wolff as a lovable rascal who goes by Jack. His unconventional, tolerant mother also has her charm, despite her regrettable talent for choosing the wrong male partners. She barely escapes one abusive, possessive husband only to quickly fall into the arms of another. Much of the memoir focuses on her marriage to Dwight, an alcoholic sadist who takes out his darker moods on Jack, stealing his savings from the paper route and making him shell chestnuts until his fingers are lacerated and stained.

This Boy’s Life is filled with endless good-luck-bad-luck cycles and peppered with instances of zany humor, often provided by Dwight when he isn't drunk or violent. For example, when Jack's mother decides to move in and Dwight spruces up the place with white paint, he literally paints everything that doesn't move, including a black walnut upright piano.

With some fortuitous help (including forged school transcripts), Jack enrolls in a preparatory school but is a complete academic failure and is asked to leave. The memoir ends on a promising note when Jack is about 19 and enlists in the army, feeling a sense of relief and homecoming. He hopes to redeem himself in the clear life of uniforms, ranks, and weapons, thinking that this is where he was always meant to be. All he needs is a war, but as the saying goes, be careful what you pray for.

Following This Boy’s Life, Wolff has another memoir, In Pharaoh’s Army, which describes his experiences in the Vietnam War. I am looking forward to reading it in the near future.

So I procrastinated for a long time on reading this book, as you can see.

But, it wasn't as bad as I originally thought. I am being a bit generous in my review for 2 main reasons.

1. Time period.

It's always a bit harder for me to get what people went through in the 50s. Partially because there was a lot of toxic masculinity, the world was on the brink of a social revolution, and a lot of people were addicted to alcohol/drugs due to the fact that no one knew how to treat mental illnesses caused by WW2. So while writing this I'm taking in the fact that this was a VERY different time compared to now.

2. Gender Stereo Types.

On top of the time period, the story is about a man. So I probably don't understand certain things that he went through due to the gender stereo type and social requirement of a man in the 50s.

The gender roles and expectations back then were very different from what they are today. Men were expected to be strong, stoic, and the breadwinners of the family. They had to suppress their emotions and conform to the traditional male image. This might have led to a lot of internal conflicts and struggles for the protagonist, which I may not fully appreciate.

Overall, despite my initial hesitation, I found this book to be an interesting exploration of a bygone era and the complex issues that people faced during that time.

The opening acknowledgements really made me think that this would be a light and easy comic memoir. ("My first stepfather used to say that what I didn’t know would fill a book. Well, here it is.") It is indeed very funny and flows well throughout. However, to say it's just breezy is a huge misrepresentation.

The book gets its title from an adaptation of the official magazine of the Boy Scouts of America (Boy's Life). The Scouts seemed to be one of the few positive influences on the author when he was younger. The events in the book take place between 1955 and 1960 when the author was around 10 years old and older. It was first published in 1989, long after the described events. There aren't overly extensive quotes, but enough to make me stop and think, which is why I deducted 1 star.

When I think about the book, the word "brutal" comes to mind. It's brutally funny. ("He leaned forward as the bubbles rose over the Champagne Orchestra and Lawrence Welk came onstage salaaming in every direction, crying out declarations of humility in his unctuous, brain-scalding Swedish kazoo of a voice.") It's also brutally honest. ("I didn’t need to see the tears in Mr. Welch’s eyes to know that I had brought shame on myself. I knew it when we first drove into the farmyard and I saw the place in the light of day. Everything I saw thereafter forced the knowledge in deeper.")

Wolff portrays himself and his cohorts as unapologetic scoundrels. Very few people are spared, including his first stepfather Dwight, who is comical, inept, frightening, and pathetic all at once. Several other adults also receive honest treatment. Wolff has a perceptive eye and an almost magical ability to describe his insights.

I was ready to be entertained, but I didn't expect the book to evoke such a wide range of emotions in me. I'm glad it did.

Note: Goodreads has added a feature where the kindle notes are available in the link below. I don't think any of my highlighted notes are spoilers.

I had to read this for school. It was truly an intriguing memoir to read.

The story within its pages held my attention from start to finish. The author's unique perspective and the way they presented their life experiences made it a captivating read.

That being said, I FINALLY FINISHED IT!!!!! YAY! It was a sense of accomplishment to complete this assigned reading.

Overall, I would rate this memoir 2.5 stars. It had its moments of great interest and engagement, but perhaps there were also a few areas that could have been further developed or explored. Nevertheless, it was a worthwhile read for the purposes of my schoolwork.

This Boy’s Life is a captivating boyhood memoir that is mainly set in Washington state during the 1950s. It was written in 1987, offering a unique glimpse into a bygone era.

We despised each other. The hatred was so intense that other emotions struggled to surface. It had a profound impact on me. When I think of Chinook [Washington], I have to strain to recall the faces of my friends, their voices, and the rooms where I felt welcome. However, Dwight’s [stepdad] face and voice are always vivid in my mind. I even hear his tone in my own when I speak angrily to my children. They notice it too and look at me in astonishment. My youngest once asked, “Don’t you love me anymore?”

This Boy’s Life can be considered the precursor to Hillbilly Elegy, thirty years before the latter was published. There are evident similarities between the two memoirs. Both feature abusive stepfathers, mothers trapped in poverty cycles and marrying men of lesser intellect, and boys who overcome significant obstacles to break free from their small towns and avoid a bleak future. Additionally, both memoirs have been adapted into Hollywood films, with Hillbilly Elegy即将上映.

This Boy’s Life is the better-written of the two. It is far more than a mere catharsis documenting a teenage boy’s growing pains and mischief. It reads like an honest portrayal of America – not the saccharine 1950s Leave it to Beaver type of drivel. There is an abundance of self-deprecating and wry humor that offsets the darker moments. Some scenes are downright hilarious.

The book concludes rather abruptly when Wolff is sixteen and manages to get into a prep school in the East through deception. He briefly mentions that he was expelled around the time his father was committed to a mental institution. I was curious about this and thought perhaps he focused solely on his childhood in Washington for a neater conclusion. But I recently learned that Wolff’s brother Geoffrey, also a renowned writer, had already written about his own prep school experience and their father’s mental illness.

Overall, I rate this book 5 stars and highly recommend it.

I really can't quite clearly express the exact reason why this book managed to draw a 5-star response from me, and that's precisely why I derived so much enjoyment from it. Even though I couldn't precisely pinpoint it, I constantly found myself having an intense desire to return to it.

This is not at all the kind of reaction that I usually have towards memoirs penned by well-established authors.

He wrote in a manner that successfully preserved the essence of adolescence, devoid of any condescending hindsight or overly grandiose naivety. The writing appears to be so straightforward and concise, and yet there were numerous occasions when I had to vigorously resist the urge to underline the artful way in which 3 or 4 words were seamlessly threaded together (a little note to Sarah: I have kept your book as immaculate as the very day I surreptitiously took it from your house). The vivid description of watching TV in a dark room together with his stepfather keeps persistently popping up in my mind.

P.S. Sarah, it's currently sitting on your desk at work - thank you.

DNF

I managed to read just over half of the book before finally deciding to call it quits.

Toby's life, as presented in the story, really wasn't as bad as I had initially expected. However, I'm not entirely sure if this is due to the way he tells his story or not. The writing was rather flat and completely lacking in any real feeling. It was very matter-of-fact, almost as if he was simply reciting a list of events without any emotional connection.

The narrative itself seemed to go on forever. It was extremely dreary, slow-paced, and downright boring. Moreover, it had a tendency to jump around at times, which was more than enough to cause confusion for the reader.

All of these aspects were bad enough on their own, but I still soldiered on valiantly... until I reached the part where Toby beats the family dog with a floor mop. And this wasn't just any dog; it was a hunting dog that would hide in fear at the very first sound of a gun shot.

After that, I decided to go searching for reviews and learned that there was even more disturbing content to come, involving shooting at cats.

Big, brave Toby indeed.

I can only hope that someone, at some point, took pot shots at him and then beat him with a floor mop as well!