We all have those moments from our youth that we choose to bury deep within our memories.

These are the juvenile indiscretions that, when we recall them, bring a sense of embarrassment.

So, we allow them to gradually sink in the flood of time, hoping they will be forgotten.

We have built our lives as they are now, and we don't want to cringe or wince over the flaws that might exist in the foundation of our past.

This memoir, at times, can be a painful read.

It has the power to make the honest reader reach back into the river of their own experiences and pull out some of those not-so-pleasant memories, just like bad fish.

Yet, it takes courage to face these things, and that's what makes this memoir somewhat remarkable.

Overall, it earns a rating of 3.5 for its ability to touch on the uncomfortable aspects of our past and make us reflect.

If I could give negative a million stars, that's what I would rate this book.

This book was an absolute disappointment from start to finish. The story was convoluted and lacked any real coherence. The characters were one-dimensional and failed to engage me on any level.

The writing style was also a major drawback. It was dull and uninteresting, making it a chore to get through each page. I found myself constantly skimming over paragraphs just to get to the end.

Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone. It was a waste of my time and money, and I would not want others to suffer the same fate. Save your time and pick up a different book.

“Knowing that everything comes to an end is a gift of experience, a consolation gift for knowing that we ourselves are coming to an end.”







“Before we get it we live in a continuous present, and imagine the future as more of that present. Happiness is endless happiness, innocent of its own sure passing. Pain is endless pain.”

― Tobias Wolff, This Boy's Life



This Boy's Life is one of my all-time favorite memoirs. Its pacing is perfect, and its pitch is just right. It offers a beautiful yet unsentimental look at youth, poverty, family, and all the cracks and fissures in the world that swallow the dreams of youth. Wolff's language still resounds within me. I often find myself going back and reading entire passages of this book just to soak in the language and feel the energy and vitality that Wolff exudes. A good memoirist allows the reader to experience the artist's past life through words, but a great memoirist seduces the reader into a place where they suddenly recognize the universal experiences in our shared lives.



There were parts of the book where I felt as if Tobias Wolff was not writing his own history but mine. Although the details of our lives might have been different and our stories might have been adolescent antipoles, when I read Wolff, I feel as if he has stolen my emotions, faked my youthful hope, slandered my stripling reputation, and squandered all of my schoolboy potential. It's as if he has tapped into something deep within me and brought it to the surface, making me see my own life in a new and profound way.

3.5 stars.

It was an extremely interesting and beautifully well-written memoir. It's truly fascinating how simply listening to another person's life experiences can trigger a cascade of thoughts about one's own experiences as well as those of others.

My dad, who is just a few years older than Tobias, has shared stories that bear a striking resemblance to some of the things Tobias wrote about. These are the tales of his times spent with friends during his boyhood and teenage years.

Now, I find myself eager to check out the movie adaptation. It stars a very young Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert DeNiro, which makes it even more enticing. I'm curious to see how the filmmakers have brought Tobias's memoir to life on the big screen and how well they have captured the essence of those memories and experiences.

I'm sure it will be a captivating viewing experience that will further enhance my understanding and appreciation of Tobias's story.

Exquisitely written, this memoir is desperately honest and incredibly difficult to read. I found myself constantly having to walk away, yet I couldn't resist coming back for more. It has left me with an intense desire to read every single word Wolff has ever written, right away. His analytical skills are penetrating, allowing him to distance himself from his adolescent pretensions without disavowing them. He is incisive and so very true. With each page, he broke my heart, over and over and over again. The prose is like a sharp knife, crystalline and icy in its precision. Despite the pain it caused, I wholeheartedly recommend this memoir. It is a powerful and unforgettable piece of work that will stay with you long after you've turned the last page.

Snobbery is an aspect that I sometimes consider as a virtue. That's the sort of reader I am.

As a bit of a prig, I approached Tobias Wolff's This Boy's Life with the anticipation of finding my refined sensibilities to be superior to the emotional range and authenticity of any memoir that has garnered mass adulation and led to a Hollywood adaptation. I was ready for the sweet scorn for falsity and empty phrases that had made me toss James Frey’s Million Little Feces into the backyard halfway through the first chapter. However, I was not prepared to be hooked from the very first sentence by a voice that was both pitiless and full of compassion.

No telling detail of personality or physiognomy escapes the attention of young Toby, or Jack as the boy has chosen to call himself. A lesser narrator might have turned the unfortunate twists of fate, circumstance, and genetics into cruel, self-aggrandizing characterizations. But the most charming aspect of This Boy’s Life is Wolff’s understanding and portrayal of the innate and unifying humanity in each and every character who comes into contact with young Jack, even his worst and least-sympathetic tormentors.

There just might be something for me to learn here. It seems that my initial snobbish attitude was perhaps unfounded, and this memoir has the potential to open my eyes and expand my perspective. I am now eager to continue reading and discover what else Wolff has to offer.

This was especially fun for me as it was about growing up in the Pacific Northwest.

The tone of this piece is truly great. It presents a wonderful contrast between the dumbness of his early life and the brilliant simplicity of his prose.

It's fascinating to see how he has evolved and developed his writing style over time.

Every word in this article is a delight to read.

It engages the reader from the very beginning and keeps them hooked until the end.

The author's ability to paint a vivid picture of his upbringing and his thoughts and feelings is truly remarkable.

I found myself completely immersed in the story and could easily relate to many of the experiences and emotions described.

This is definitely a piece that I would highly recommend to others.

It's not only entertaining but also thought-provoking and inspiring.

Overall, it's a great read that I thoroughly enjoyed.

This memoir is truly extremely boring. However, at the same time, it is oddly addicting.

While reading this book, there were times when it seemed to drag on and on. But despite that, I was always filled with a sense of anxiety, eager to know what was coming next.

Tobias Wolff presents the idea that growing up can be an extremely tough process, and that your past does not always have to determine your future.

As the main character, Jack, grows up throughout the course of this book, he faces numerous obstacles. These obstacles help the reader to better relate to him and understand what he is going through.

Jack has a tendency to never seem able to tell the truth to anyone, except for the readers. As the reader, he not only explains his actions but also his innermost thoughts.

This book, like all books, has both positive and negative aspects. Personally, I felt that there were more negatives than positives.

The only things I liked about the book were that it had a positive overall message and it presented real life situations that made it easier for the reader to connect with the characters.

I didn't like this book because at times it was hard to follow, it's not the kind of book that I would consider a "feel good" book, and it was too serious most of the time.

This book is related to The Perks of Being a Wallflower in that they both share the same theme of "coming of age".

Charlie in POBW is similar to Jack in the sense that they both had difficult lives, yet they never let that stop them from pursuing their dreams of being better than their past selves.

They both struggle as they grow up, but they manage to find ways to overcome their problems.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in memoirs about struggling teens. It would also be suitable for anyone who enjoys reading books about people who are trying to discover their true selves.

This is an extremely emotional and deeply touching tale.

It is about a young boy who grows up with a hopeless mother and an abusive step-father. The author vividly describes his childhood in a way that almost anyone can relate to.

While reading, you can truly feel the angst of the writer's difficult plight. However, at the same time, you can also burst out laughing at the hilarity he manages to create out of it in his later and wiser years.

It is truly impressive that this former juvenile delinquent has turned out to be such a famous writer.

This novel is not only well-written, but it is also a funny and highly enjoyable read.

I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a story that combines both emotion and humor.

To write a memoir is to carefully sift through and make sense of one's personal experiences that were etched in our minds when we were much younger. Then, these experiences need to be arranged into a captivating and understandable story. Reframing is essential as the writer has grown and matured. The perspective of the eyes behind the pen is not the same as the eyes that witnessed the events being written. This book offers a mature and evolved retrospective of coming of age in the American 1950-60s.

It's an excellent book that I came to appreciate even more after watching the movie (featuring Robert DiNiro and Leonardo DiCaprio). The writing is straightforward, honest, and clear. There is no deception, no self-pity or boasting, and nothing overly flowery or poetic. However, there is a wealth of cultural commentary on the people and the times. The book is courageously candid in many aspects.

The curse and challenge of the memoir form is that the author is burdened with an abundance of history that must be condensed, shaped, or trimmed to present a coherent story. Given the vast scope of the decade or so covered, Wolff has done an incredibly remarkable job of distilling it all into a mere 300 pages.

There is great dialogue throughout, especially in the confession and the arcade scene with a barker named "Smoke." I was surprised that halfway through, I started rooting for the narrator, a kid whom I had initially found spoiled and unlikable.

Apart from the narrator/author/protagonist, the characters who stand out are Toby's devoted mother (we should all be so fortunate), a school friend named Arthur, and Toby's villainous stepfather Dwight. Arthur provides psychological insights beyond his years and holds the key to Toby and his mother's escape from Dwight's clutches. Dwight adds high drama, being a tortured soul so consumed by his own unfulfilled developmental need for attention that he cannot function as a loving partner or stepfather.

Both Frank Conroy and Wolff interweave after-the-fact commentary with the contemporary storytelling. Although this technique is necessary and instructive, I found that it temporarily pulled me out of the story in a few places. But it didn't last long. This is a must-read for anyone interested in the American 1950-60s, the post-Korean War/pre-Vietnam War era of "innocence."

If there was a memoir that all other memoirs would have to live up to, it would be this one. This memoir stands out from the rest, like a shining star in a vast sky. It is not just a simple account of one's life; it is a profound exploration of the human experience. The author has poured their heart and soul into every page, sharing their joys, sorrows, and everything in between. Through vivid descriptions and engaging storytelling, the reader is drawn into the author's world and experiences it as if it were their own. This memoir has the power to inspire, to move, and to change the way we look at life. It is a must-read for anyone who is interested in the human condition and the power of the written word.

**How Do Any of Us Survive?**

This is the fourth memoir of a less-than-ideal childhood that I've read within a few weeks. I must admit, this constant theme of overcoming adversity is starting to seem a bit tiresome. However, I believe it's fair to say that Tolstoy was mistaken. Unhappy families are as unchanging and routine as happy ones. At least, the unhappy ones are sometimes interesting and even revealing.

Wolfe's memoir catches my attention because he grasps how his childhood molded his culture. It's not just about his specific fears and aspirations, mostly related to violence, but also his general responses to the world. His childhood, like that of all of us, shaped the character we assign to the universe and ourselves. Understanding this and considering both aspects of character might be as close to maturity as we can achieve.
For instance, Wolff can express a fundamental relationship that a child intuits: "Power can be enjoyed only when it is recognized and feared. Fearlessness in those without power is maddening to those who have it." The implication, of course, is a kind of Don Quixote self-image that incites and justifies all sorts of boyish misbehavior. But it's also important to note that he's discussing a relationship here, and thus a dynamic explanation, a theory of the world and how it functions. This is what's known as a zero-sum relation: if you win, I lose. Therefore, if I can't win, I ensure you can't either. Pretty sophisticated stuff. But then again, children are always more sophisticated than adults remember.
Appreciating that one's life has been shaped by a rather astute inference about the world is clearly a sort of breakthrough. The fact that others, like me, might have adopted similar theories of living is probably sufficient reason for publication. The theory enabled him to navigate life as a boy and a young man; it helped Wolff survive. In short, Wolff's childish logic worked - power could be endured and even occasionally overcome. Not bad for a boy from a broken family, growing up poor with no obvious prospects.
But, of course, the very success of this strategy for dealing with power masks a deeper issue that is also very practical but, by its nature, must be raised in philosophical language: Is one's life best spent contending with power? Success in defeating power at its own game may be considered successful merely because of the deprivations one has endured. Couldn't it be that it's precisely this criterion of success that has to be overcome, that perhaps the world isn't primarily an arena of power being exercised and power being subverted or deflected?
This is not an easy thing to even allow into one's consciousness, much less address. The last thing any of us wants to do is question what we have implicitly lived our lives for. It takes a particular kind of lonely courage to let it seep through the layers of experience acquired and confirmed over decades. After all, what we value is its own measure of success. If power is what we have valued, giving it up as unimportant feels like giving up one's life.
Since the memoir ends in late adolescence, there's only a hint that Wolff's worldview of power and its control is beginning to crack. He has a terrifying thought at one point, for example, that his behavior might just be a "solemn choreography of earnest useless acts." And that perhaps the spectrum of power-relationships he has inferred doesn't encompass the entire range of human life. "It takes a childish or corrupt imagination to make symbols of other people," he says. He knows he must somehow redeem himself, but that in order to have a "hope of [another's idea of] redemption I would have to give up my own."
A bird in the hand means one can't do anything else with that hand. So it's likely that most of us go through life self-handicapped by our successes.

Conclusion Wolff's memoir offers a fascinating exploration of how childhood experiences shape our understanding of the world and our strategies for survival. His insights into the nature of power and its relationship to our lives raise important philosophical questions that are relevant to all of us. While his theory of power may have helped him survive, it also masks a deeper issue that we must all confront at some point in our lives. As we move forward, we would do well to consider whether our own successes are truly serving us or if they are holding us back.