She, however, would not have it. She stared at me from the spot where I had unceremoniously discarded her on the beat-up couch. Her gaze was a burning reprimand, sizzling with an intensity that seemed to come from eyes that didn't even exist. She was wearing a lurid red jacket that fit her to perfection. Despite her small stature, I could sense that she contained multitudes.
She held within her intense action, calculating sleuthing that owed more than a little to hunches and dumb luck than I would have cared to admit. There was also some tantalising passion that threatened to consume me within her papery arms.
She had finished telling me her tumultuous tale during the long, hot drive back from my office this evening. Her words entered me as intimately as any lover's whisper, as the hot air pummelled me through the open car windows without offering a shred of relief. I made a mental note to get that AC fixed.
I knew precisely what she wanted. She wanted what they all ultimately desired. She couldn't simply let me relax and move on to another love when I was good and ready. No, she wanted me to review her, fast and dirty, right there on the couch, the vixen. Why couldn't these chippies just leave me in peace?
I supposed that peace was too much to ask for a broken-down, half-dead bum like me. But I would show her. She thought she had left me trapped in a corner on a hot night with no choice but to give in and review. However, I had been around the block a few times and knew a few tricks myself. The secret was to move fast, before she fixed me with another freezing glance. I feinted right, and she glanced at my piece just as I had hoped. Meanwhile, my south paw clicked on 'Save', and I hightailed it out of there as if Beelzebub himself was hot on my tail.
Buddy read with Sunshine Seaspray. Now there's a gallon of trouble in a half-pint glass...