The book describes Bruno's dying, and the pain Diana experiences only intensifies. She reaches a point where she is no longer sure if it is pain anymore. She wonders if this experience will completely transform her or if she will go back to being her ordinary self and forget what it was like in those final days with Bruno. She feels that if she can just remember it, she will be changed, but she doesn't know in what way. And what exactly is there to remember? What is that thing that seems so important, something she can understand now and is so afraid of losing? She knows she couldn't wish to endure such suffering for the rest of her life. It is a profound moment of reflection for Diana as she grapples with the impact of Bruno's death and the potential changes it will bring to her own being.
The first Iris Murdoch book I read was a challenging one. At times, a moral voice seems to enter one's mind, saying that everyone cannot fall in love with everyone. But in reality, it presents all the nakedness in which truly lost, love-starved, and lonely people can live. I think it's not so much felt love but need. After Miles' wife's death, he marries Diana because he needs someone to hold onto. And Diana also has a need to attach to a home and have someone to beautify her life. Yes, you might say he later falls in love with Lisa, but he's not really in love with her either. Due to the crazy situation she lives in with her father, she needs to escape. Darnby is looking after his old and sick widowed father, and he also has a need for something in life. And yes, the changing of needs breaks some people's hearts. The one whose heart is most broken is the beloved Diana. Essentially, you also feel sorry for the situation a woman has fallen into. But what about Bruno? He clings to his spiders, his coins, and his old memories from his sickbed.
In the book, the characters whose presence I didn't really feel much were Adeline and Will. In the end, essentially no one really had a true connection with them. Nigel, in my opinion, wasn't really a real character either. He was the voice of everyone's conscience. That's why no one liked him, and he would show up in the most unexpected places. He was interesting, crazy, but not really real.
I think it was a difficult read, but I really enjoyed every line of it. I would definitely recommend it.