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I can’t finish this I hate it
n "I had never really liked Carol Banks anyway. I lost my virginity to her a year before we actually started dating. Cute, blond, cheerleader, good SATS, nothing too great. Carol had always called me nonchalant, a word I never understood the meaning of, a word I looked up in a number of French dictionaries and could never find. I always suspected that Jamie and Carol had done something but since I never really liked Carol that much (only in bed and even there I was unsure) I sit at the table, uncaring, not moved by what everyone but me knew."n
n “ 'Not quite. I know that the owner of the Seven Seas slept with him and now Julian has a free pass and all the coke he wants.” Susan sighs mock-wearily. 'Besides, it’s just too ironic that they both have herpes.' This makes Graham laugh for some reason and he takes a drag off his cigarette and says, 'Julian does not have herpes and he did not get them from the owner of the Seven Seas.' Pause, exhale, then, 'He got VD from Dominique Dentrel.' William sits down. 'Christ, my own kids are talking about quaaludes and faggots—Jesus. Oh, take your goddamned sunglasses off, Susan. We’re at Spago, not the goddamned beach club.' "n
n " I’m not even playing my guitar anymore. I start the second verse again: 'Another night passes by and still you wonder what happened… ,' then nothing. The bassist yells out something. I turn my head toward him, my hands killing me, and the bassist urges 'You give the world one more try' and I’m saying 'What?' and the bassist calls out 'You give the world one more try' and I’m saying 'What?' and the bassist yells 'You give the world one more try—Jesus' and I’m thinking to myself why in the hell would I sing this and then who the f*ck wrote this piece of shit and I motion for the band to go into the chorus and we finish the song okay and there’s no encore."n
n “ 'But aren’t we, like, seeing each other or something?' I ask. 'I guess.' She sighs. 'We’re together now. I’m eating a salad with you now.' She stops, lowers Martin’s Wayfarers, but I’m not looking at her anyway. 'Forget Martin. Besides, who cares if we see other people? Don’t tell me one of us.' 'See or fuck?' I ask. 'Fuck.' She sighs. 'I think.' Pause. 'I guess.' 'Okay,' I say. 'Who knows, right?' Later she asks, grinning, rubbing suntan oil over my abs, 'Did you care that I slept with him?' and then, 'Nice definition.' 'No,' I finally say."n
n “Listen—my name is Yocnor and I am from the planet Arachanoid and it is located in a galaxy that Earth has not yet discovered and probably never will. I have been on your planet according to your time for the past four hundred thousand years and I was sent here to collect behavioral data which will enable us to eventually take over and destroy all other existing galaxies, including yours. It will be a horrible month, since Earth will be destroyed in increments and there will be suffering and pain on a level your mind will never be able to understand. But you will not experience this demise firsthand because it will occur in Earth’s twenty-fourth century and you will be dead long before that. I know you will find this hard to believe but for once I am telling you the truth. We will never speak of this again.”n