(Warning: This review is emotionally manipulative.)

This book is highly manipulative - and it succeeded with me, because I have a son whom I am very close to. The story was not bad, but nothing great either, if you leave aside the author's conscious attempts to tug at the reader's heartstrings.

But I have a special reason for liking this book - it is a birthday gift from my son, and he has scrawled his greetings all over the front page in a childish hand (he was 11 at the time), ending with a large heart.

Extremely loud - and incredibly close.

“دلم می‌خواست صدای قلبشان را بشنوم و می خواستم آن ها هم صدای قلب من را بشنوند.”
بی نهایت بلند و به غایت نزدیک، تنها حقیقت احساسات و زندگی را نشان می دهد، چرا که از زبان یک پسربچه داستان را دنبال میکنیم. این کتاب را بیش از اندازه دوست داشتم. تایپوگرافی کتاب افکار را به کلمات نزدیک می کند و این امکان را به خواننده می دهد که از درون خود و قلبا، ذره به ذره ی ماجرا را بفهمد. ارتباط افراد و مکان های مختلف نیویورک و ارتباط گذشته و حال باعث می شود که با هر سرنخ، فکر و احساس و ریشه های افراد را درک کنیم. اما مثل تمام زندگی ها، در آخر معما حل نشده اما قابل درک باقی می ماند

“اشاره کرد، گاهی اوقات یک نفر خیلی ساده می خواهد گم شود.
اشاره کردم، هیچ اشکالی ندارد که آدم خودش را درک نکند.
اشاره کرد، چقدر غم انگیز.”

بعد از اتمام کتاب به این فکر میکنم که چه طور مرگ خیلی آسان تر از زندگی است و چرایی ندارد، اما برای زندگی باید raison d'etre داشته باشی.

“ اگر می گفتم « خیلی میترسم از این که چیزی را که دوست دارم از دست بدهم که نمی‌خواهم چیز دیگری را دوست داشته باشم.» شاید غیر ممکن را ممکن می کرد.”

و این که چه طور پس از مرگ، تمام زندگی و خاطرات‌مان تنها در یک کلمه خلاصه می‌شود:

“جنگ، پول، پسر، مادر، عشق سگ، دربان، تنها فرزند، پیشخدمت، پدربزرگ چهار نوه، پرستار تجربی، پدر، پدر، کتاب خوان مشتاق، بازیکن مسابقات شطرنج، مربی، برادر، سرآشپز، تازه پدر،...”

و در آخر جمله ای که بار ها و بارها تکرار می‌شود و حتی پرسش نیست...

“چرا جایی که تو هستی من نیستم.”

There was a day that I spent lying on my parents’ couch trying to read while my mom had this movie on and my dad sat in his chair nodding in and out of consciousness. I had come down to visit with him as he had just been released from the hospital and sometimes just being there was what he needed, what I needed.

So there I was, trying to read my book while my father tried to get some rest and my mom put the movie on to have something going on in the background of life. It was a movie I didn’t want to watch, not for any particular reason, just not one that had even remotely piqued my interest. As the movie went on I found myself struggling to stay focused on my book and eventually put the book down to watch the movie that had sucked me in. I had to find out, I had to know.

I am glad that I watched the movie as I did end up enjoying it. After finishing it I added it to my TBR list that seems to go on for miles. I figure- the book is always better than the movie so I need to read it and see what I may have missed.

This book was well written just poorly formatted. I found the various points of view to be distracting and with the constant time-jumping, hard to follow at times. I listened to it on audio and I am not sure if that is why all of the time lapses seemed so sudden, but I would be listening for a while before realizing “when” I was in the book. The various POV took away from the overall story and I really wish it had been written from a third person POV rather than three different first person POV’s. I will say that each person was their own person- meaning that I could easily distinguish who was who by how they spoke. (For clarity purposes I must also point out that there were three different narrators but even if I had read a physical copy of the book, I still would have had three very different voices.)

There were aspects of this book that I absolutely loved. The loss and heartbreak of losing a father; the constantly searching for something you’re missing even when you don’t really understand what you are looking for. I felt that there was a great understanding of how much we take for granted, but that it wasn’t ever stated in the preachy- you only get one life so here is your life lesson way. It was done in a way that is easy to relate to if you have ever realized too late what could have been.

“Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.”

I really loved the overall theme of regret and sorrow. That probably sounds depressing to most, but I think it is a very accurate portrayal of life. We always think we have more time even when we know otherwise. We want our stories to be told even though we really can’t seem to figure out what our story is. We want to make up for wrongs we have done even when it is just too late to try.

“I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”

There were a couple small moments that took me out of the story. You have this kid who is apparently at an intellectual level far superior to those his own age. He knows what a Neurophysicist is, but not a maternity ward. It just seemed kind of silly to me.

I also could have handled less information about the grandmother posing for sculptures…it was a little too…graphic (?) for a letter that was apparently being written to her grandson. I understand that it is art, but I think that there isn’t a grandson in the world that wants to read about his grandmother’s vagina in any context. That might be an immaturity of mine, but it seemed tacky to me and unnecessary.

Then there is the issue of this 9 year old kid going door to door all over NYC and his mother is seemingly unconcerned about it. Um, ok. I don’t care if my kid is raised there or if he is a genius, he is still 9 years old and he is not walking around NYC all by himself or with a complete stranger that he met going door to door. These were just few examples of minor issues that took me out of the story.

Of all of the POV storylines the grandfather’s was my favorite. I found his story to be the most interesting and really, the saddest. I would have liked to have had more closure to his story but I guess we are all left wondering after most books, so what is one more character to think about? He had my favorite line throughout the entire book though and I couldn’t agree more with him:

“I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of time.”