self esteem is so important

The realism of this book is incredible. I have never identified with another character more than with the protagonist (Lee) - which is incredibly unfortunate, because I then went on to read blog posts and reviews about this book and found out that, for most readers, Lee was the most unlikable protagonist they have even been in the head of; for example, “the main character is a self-involved, miserable, jealous, personification of every negative stereotype that men say about women”.

There were some aspects of the character that I didn’t identify with, particularly around how she approached relationships - but even the thought patterns and behaviours that had never rung true for me, I knew would for other people.

I always say if a writer can evoke complete hatred and dislike for their protagonist from me, then they must be a good writer (Lucinda Rosenfeld's What She Saw... comes to mind). So, in that regard, Curtis Sittenfeld is an excellent writer (perhaps it's a last name thing). In any case, Prep sucks.

Two reasons why I hated Prep:

1) NOTHING happens. I don't mind episodic novels in which each chapter is a tiny event that comes together as a whole (Peter Darbyshire's Please is an excellent example of this), but nothing comes together with Prep. It's one long, dull chapter of nothing after another. There's no drama, no plot twists, and no plot to twist. Heck! Even a murder thrown in would have been cliched but entertaining. The only current thread is the protagonist's exasperating unrequited 4 year crush on the most popular guy in school.

2) Lee Fiora is an annoying, whiny, dull, self centered protagonist suffering from extreme anxiety and dislike of herself. I mean I, too, was a bit self centered and had anxiety when I was in high school but goodness, Lee takes the cake.

The novel takes place over the course of four years of prep school but Lee doesn't change one bit. Seriously, this is how the novel goes and how Lee reacts to everything and everyone:

Someone will tell Lee they like her sweater. Lee will then ruminate: "She liked my sweater. Wow, how cool. But wait did she like my sweater because she really liked it? Or did she like my sweater because she was being mean and maybe something is wrong with it? I knew I shouldn't haven't worn this sweater today. Why would anyone like this sweater? I don't even like this sweater. I don't even like myself."

That's not from the novel but that's pretty much how the novel goes for 400+ pages!

In addition to that, all of the characters are one dimensional, never developed and totally stereotypical—especially the ethnic characters. The one Asian character is, of course, a straight-A student math whiz and the two Black characters are, you guessed it, a thief and the star basketball player.

Overall, a highly overrated, extremely dull, racially insulting novel that is a downright waste of time. Seriously. I kid you not. Maybe you might like it better than I did. PU! What a stinker.

this book was a complicated one for me. if i could, i'd probably give it a 2 slash 3 for its rating. the best way i can describe it is this: you know when you meet someone and after talking for a little while you start to think, wow, this person is JUST like me, we're totally on the same wavelength! and then each meeting after that you continue to have the same impression UNTIL they say or do something so foreign to your personality that it makes you realize you are NOTHING alike. to the point where you just want to disassociate yourself from that person as quickly as possible all the while hoping that this person doesn't latch on to you, because there is no way you want other people thinking that there are any similarities between the 2 of you? well thats how i felt about the main character.

i would have given the book a higher rating -- because the author does an AMAZING job of recreating that angsty, self-conscious, dreary wasteland known as the high school years -- but i was so annoyed with the ending. its just that the narrator (who is telling her story some 20 years later or so) still doesn't seem happy or content with her life. and it doesn't make sense to me that someone who is so insightful, and so able to acutely analyze and make sense of her past just can't move on and make a happier life. i didn't love high school, but life got INFINITELY better for me after that, and i just wanted to see SOME kind of progression in the narrator.

sorry this is such a long review. i just get a little too involved in what i'm reading, and tend to fixate on it for way too long afterward. by the time the book ended, it was just depressing. it made me feel some overwhelming urge to write my own memoirs of high school just to prove to myself that i have evolved as a person since then. i don't know. this book left me very conflicted. and in the end, i don't think i could recommend it to anyone i know, both because i think many would be annoyed with the main character, and also because of the language and the sex scenes going on.

When I went to college I was shocked to meet kids who had actually attended boarding school. I had grown up on a steady diet of boarding school literature, but conceptually, it seemed so preposterous. You went to boarding school if you were European and from the 19th century, not if you were American and born in the early 90s. I befriended one girl who attended a Massachusetts boarding school as a day student. When I asked her about the experience, she shook her head and said, “Never send your kids to boarding school. It fucks you up.”

As I came to know more ex-boarding school students, her generalization gained credence. The boarding school kids knew seemingly every possible way to consume alcohol, with some methods so ingenious I couldn’t help but wonder if their education truly was of a higher caliber than mine. They were fully formed adults who behaved like they were in their late 20s. Meanwhile, the rest of us floundered about, worried about breaking dorm occupancy rules.

After reading Prep I understand them better. I know how they came to be this way at the mere age of 18. In Prep Curtis Sittenfeld presents an authentic portrait of boarding school life that, for any sane parent at least, should serve as a massive flashing warning sign before sending any child away to school.

Our protagonist Lee Fiora decides to apply to an East Coast boarding school in a fit of precociousness and derring-do at the age of 14. She leaves her parents and calm Midwestern existence for a more exciting life at Ault School. Again: at the age of 14. It goes horribly, of course. She must face the gender, race, and class discrimination that props up the ivy-covered brick façade of Ault. She navigates loneliness. She struggles to answer this question: do I want to change myself, peel away my me-ness in order to fit into this archaic institution or do I want to alienate myself from everyone by becoming a conscientious objector to this lifestyle? She narrates her four years at Ault after the fact as an adult, and it is clear that even after maturing outside this fishbowl, she has no good answer to this question.

Two disclaimers:
1. This is not chick-lit, despite the title and pink belted cover.
2. It is an uncomfortable read.

If we’re supposed to read this book as chick-lit, it’s ridiculously marketed. It has too much bite to be considered chick-lit, with its extraordinarily detailed narration and its casual indictment of its wealthy and waspy characters. Lee’s perspective is devastatingly realistic, apparently so authentic that some have questioned how biographical this story is. The goodreads reviews for this book are atrocious. Most people seem to hate Lee because she is always a bystander and never an actor. I must admit that even as an introvert, I found Lee’s introversion and resulting passivity infuriating and occasionally painful. She cannot decide how she wants to participate in this ridiculous life she’s accidentally chosen for herself at age 14 and thus she’s listless. She moves nowhere, being careful to make no obvious mistakes but because of that, truly making every mistake. As she says, n  

I always worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely.

nTeenagers live in state of metamorphosis and high school is their chrysalis. Imagine if your chrysalis is inhabited by the spoiled offspring of Manhattanite bankers and national senators. Imagine if the floral pattern on your bedspread determines whether you are popular or not. Imagine that if you pine after a boy, you can never approach him; he will pursue, you will be pursued. Imagine if your chrysalis cannot be cracked open at the end of each school day when you return home; you live among your peers in this extreme environment for four straight years.

Actually stop imagining that because it’s horrifying. It’s obvious how such a life could ruin a mere child. How can you decide who you want to be in such conditions? I loved Sittenfeld’s largely plotless but wholly profound depiction of these conditions because it allowed me to vicariously live them without suffering their consequences.

And after the melancholy final page, I was forcefully reminded me of three things: 1. we can only hope we have good parents 2. only by being rich, white, and male can you live your life effortlessly 3. boarding school will fuck you up.

Visceral, unrelenting, (fancy!) boarding school blues as borderline war story. Such an evocative reminder of how excruciating and exhausting being a teenager is/was/will always be. Sittenfeld can write her ass off too, my goodness. The amount of empathy she has for such a terribly shallow and rude protagonist… The fact that, despite her many flaws, such a protagonist is still strangely endearing and so easy to relate too because of her harrowing and so-vulnerable-and-anxious-it-makes-you-wanna-throw-up humanity… A (cult) classic for a reason! Clearly!

Having attended a prep school myself, I found the descriptions of prep school logistically were fairly accurate. It was a strange flashback into life with boarding students and the activities/events that surround going to an elite private school that focuses greatly on matriculation into Ivy Leagues.
Despite the vague nostalgia that I felt at times, the protagonist was extremely hard to identify with, although she did have characteristics that could have made her more sympathetic. What I believe this book portrayed was the angst-ridden judgement and insecurities felt by a less wealthy prep schooler...completely maximized in a way that stereotypes students at prep schools and the emotions that lie inside a teenage mind.
While this book was an extremely quick read, therefore proving that it wasn't so painful that you put it down completely, the main character remained fairly unchanged in her views, and even in retrospect, lacked the ability to see that by judging those around her, she had pigeon-holed herself.
What many people believe, in real life, I have found, is that those who attended the elite boarding schools of America are rich, ungrateful, spoiled and unlikeable people. What many people don't see is the fact that these types of people exist everywhere--in or outside of prep schools. Therefore, while many of them do attend these schools, it is unfair to believe that everyone who attends these schools are as such. Unfortunately, the protagonist has a few glimpses into the world of the wealthy, and some moments of clarity where she realizes that riches or popularity don't necessarily lead to happiness, but she still neglects to see the bigger picture, or fully understand that sentiment. Believing that others are ostracizing her for her lower income, her financial aid, or her general social awkwardness, she ends up isolating herself in a manner that ends up more frustrating than heartfelt.
There are many identifiable moments in the book, which are best served to those who went to prep school and felt, at times, a little bit out of the loop. It speaks especially to those who were not considered the "cool kids" but so desperately wanted to be, but in the end, it remains a tale of woes from a girl who has judged herself worse than others could have ever judged her, and who remains closed to the idea that everyone is lonely sometimes.

Lee Fiora is an average, middle class girl who feels like she is meant for far greater things than her Indiana hometown. Convincing herself that trading her Midwest family in for a fancy East Coast prep school is the answer, Lee becomes a scholarship student at the wealthy and prestigious Ault School, where she quickly learns that gaining admission isn't the same as gaining acceptance. Prep chronicles Lee's four years at Ault, starting out as an insecure and lonely freshmen, leaving as a love-sick and angst-ridden senior, and reminding us just how very important all this felt at the time.

Coming-of-age stories are hard. Being a teenager is so awkward, clunky, and uncertain, and it's difficult for any adult to write truthfully about that period without being tempted to go back and make revisions, creating a protagonist who's wittier, cooler, or more dangerous than most of us ever really were. So when I finally picked up Prep - a book that was something of a critical darling when it was released and touted as a female version of The Catcher in the Rye - it was with strong feelings of reservation that I began. After all, I had been burned many times before by the coming-of-age novel, and female authors tend to be the worst offenders for some reason.

So, imagine my delight when Prep turned out to be everything it was lauded to be - a smart, honest, insightful, and often embarrassing trip back to one's formative years that doesn't make apologies or unnecessary revisions. It was far from perfect, often painful, and at 449 pages sometimes felt a bit long, but these criticisms were easy for me to overlook seeing as I've never related to any fictional character the way I related to Lee Fiora. Apart from the boarding school element, reading her story was like revisiting my own high school years, complete with all the heartbreak, angst, and feelings of self-doubt that it entailed. Lee's decisions are often questionable, her insecurities difficult to reason, and she can often be downright unlikeable, but if we're being honest with ourselves - weren't we all? Aren't some of us still?

With Prep, Sittenfeld nailed what it's really like to be a teenager - or at least what it was really like for me - and in so doing restored my faith in the genre. No small feat, that.

I relate well to Lee. We are similar in a lot of ways, but the book had no real plot. Though it would seem hypocritcal if i said i did not like the main character, considering we are so much alike, but i did not like the main character very much. I also didn't like how Sittenfeld made Little Washington a stereotypical black person, though Little had made it into a preppy boarding school. I also didn't like how she separated races so much. Seperated the latina's and the black people ect. Barely concealing that to fit in the bording she created for this book you had to be white. In fact she made all people of different races stereotypical, and that bothered me a lot. Definantly not one of my favorites, and i don't highly recommend it.

I can't decide how I felt about this book.
In some ways I could identify with the main character. The book reminded me a bit of when I went to college in upstate NY.
But, at the same time, the main character was frustrating. She hated her school and where she was, but she didn't do anything about it. I loved my time in upstate NY. But this character was always complaining about how much she hated the school she went to and expressing frustration, but NOT TAKING ANY ACTION.
And the whole "romance" part? Not so good.

Also there is too much Omphaloskepsis (this is a cool word i just learned and need to remember)

Who can stand being in this irritating girl's brain? This is the downside of first person narration. When you are stuck in the head of someone boring, annoying or frustrating or all three and you just can't squirm out of it because it won't switch to another more interesting narrator who is doing things besides being passive and just letting her life happen without trying to steer it.


I keep bathroom reading this book. It's frustrating to be in this girl's head. Note to self, do not write a character in first person and have the audience go OMG WILL YOU GET OVER YOURSELF OR I WILL SMACK YOU WITH A TUNA!


So I read it again from the beginning for some odd reason. I have so many books laying around my apartment. Why go back to this one? It frustrates me how this character lacks confidence. I really want to dip her in a pool of feminism and self respect. I want to lock teenagers in a tower and tell them, NO! You are NOT ready for the larger world at all even if you think you are. I'm not even ready and I'm old enough to be your mother if I had you very, very young. How can they think they can navigate the adult world if you can't even tell a boy what you really want? Admit it. You want him as more than just someone to have sex with and you should have told him this Lee, you pesky young woman! GUH!

But sometimes she had moments of describing things in an amusing way that reminded me of me. But I OWNED my shyness, my desire for solitude rather than vilify them.

It probably would have been more interesting if this character had been autistic and bisexual. Then her social awkwardness would have made a bit more sense and been more engaging to me who longs for more stories with bisexual autistic people. Or even asexual or heterosexual or gay autistic people.

7/17 Ugh. Lee still annoys me so much.

I struggled for a few days on what to write in a review for this book. Because I came away with feeling the book was awkward, yet I liked it, but yet I did not. And so is the life of PREP...

PREP is about a young girl from the midwest who attends a fancy New England Prep school in I think the decade of the 1990s -- this by the lack of emailing, cell phones, phones in rooms etc. I don't recall the date ever being given.

Our main character is complex. And with that it was hard for me to write a review, and during the reading, her complexities had my thoughts about her, and the book, going up and down, good to bad. The first quarter of this book had me assuring myself this was a 5 star I can't put down reader. The Lee turned my thoughts upside down.

Lee (main character) became downright annoying and I put the book away for awhile during what were here sophomore and junior years. But I realized only after finishing this book that there was nothing wrong with Lee, or the story, or the impeccably honest writing. The reason this book may be hard to read is because for women, it may be all too real, too raw, to recall life as a teenage girl. Age 15-16 may be the hardest years for a teenager, male or female. Emotions are high, moods switch instantly, and that was reflected in the writing and the plot.

Lee is endearing, shy, careful, rude, nosey, aloof, spontaneous, lazy, premeditated, mean, loving, and hormonal all wrapped into one person. While reading it annoyed me. After reflecting I realize she had to be all of those qualities, good or bad, and more -- BECAUSE she is a teenager.

So when Lee was annoying, the book became annoying. When Lee was endearing, the book was a must read. When Lee was frustrating, the book was frustrating. And so it went as I rolled through the ups and downs of high school.

That is the life of most american teenage girls which is why the book is so brilliant. You hate her. You love her. You want to slap her. You are embarrassed for her. And yet in some part of this book I suspect every reader will relate to her.

PREP is less about a prep school and more about the ups and downs and the lows and highs of being 14-18years of age. It is a reflection of how those four years may permanently alter or change you for better or worse. PREP reveals the best, the worst, and the mediocre of teenage years.

Its easy to read when its funny. Its hard to read when its so raw you know what you are reading is true but you want to look away because well --- most people probably remember all too well the awkward years.

And PREP itself IS awkward, because its supposed to reflect that. At least that is how I came away from this book. When I was mad at the book I realized I was mad at something that was all to reminiscent of something I witnessed in my awkward years.

So there is why I find the book brilliant. But I can't give it 5 stars because in a few spots I think we went a bit over the top in the rawness of this story. (Some of the tales in PREP are downright shameful, even if accurate). And while I get why Lee is often unlikeable, it marred my reading just enough that this is a 4 star.

Writing is fabulous. Sittenfeld should be applauded for writing something that is so real it makes you hate it and love it all at once.

I liked this book as much as I thought I would, I suppose. I wasn't expecting too much. At parts, probably because I'm in high school right now, I can really relate to Lee's observations about her school, friends, etc. On the other hand, sometimes she just starts to get frustrating. She is so detached from everything and everyone (even her "friends") and I wanted her to find some sort of happiness by the end of her years at Ault School.

(SPOILERS!!!)

For a while there, it seemed like she was pretty content, but then all of the sudden she reveals to the NY Times reporter that she's not happy at all and she really dislikes boarding school. It just made the whole lead-up to that point seem like a waste. She was making improvements in herself, found a real friend, really changed from the socially awkward and invisible girl she was as a freshman. I didn't think she'd be happy, smiley, enthusiastic girl at the end of high school, but I at least thought she'd admit that her time at Ault had been alright. She didn't seem THAT miserable toward the end until she said it to the reporter. And when she did say it, I was just as mad as her father. Why in the world did she stay so long at Ault if she hated it there? Why? Is she a masochist? I just don't get it.

And her entire relationship with Cross annoyed me terribly. He was only in it for the sex, obviously. She told herself that she loved him, but obviously she was just in love with the sex too, and the comfort in knowing that he liked her enough to come to her during the night. I just found it all a little contrived too. Lee has an enormous crush on Cross, the golden boy, for years, and then suddenly he shows up one night and starts kissing her? They barely even know each other. He could have had any other girl in the school he wanted and yet he chose detached, awkward Lee? He never says why he likes her so much. He even admits that he wouldn't ever have been her boyfriend. But I don't blame him. I blame Lee. She knew all this, and yet she let it happen and let herself believe that it was love and not just sex. She even told him that she didn't want them to be seen together in public. It was her fault, and that's what makes it so frustrating. I wanted to slap her out of it.

(End of Spoilers!!!)

So all in all, it was just alright. Some parts I really identified with, others really frustrated me, and in the end, I just wish that Lee could have made more progress in her life. Throughout the entire thing, she's terribly apathetic. I just really wanted her to find something or someone to believe in.

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