After reading the first short story, I thought this was going to be a delightful book. "SantaLand Diaries," after all, had me rolling down the isle of the plane on which I was reading it... Okay, I was just giggling constantly with frequent bursts of loud laugher interspersed. No rolling, but still very humiliating on the whole. At any rate, I came home in a dither to read the other stories as well. Ugh. Appalling. Not a single chuckle among them. Worse, they were gross, often offensive (and I don't get offended!), and even horrific at times. It was beyond black humor, to just being black... dark, dismal, disgusting. No humor there. I was most sincerely disappointed.

The only other story that had even the slightest bit of resonance was "Dinah, The Christmas Whore," and that was likely because it was also written from a personal experience. Sedaris, in this girl's opinion, should stay very far away from writing fiction. Can you say "smug?" That's what I kept feeling about the author when suffering through the fiction stories. I gave this two stars only for "Santaland Diaries" - otherwise it'd be a solid one (for lack of a worse ranking).

I'm very glad I read this just after Christmas, because I was already not feeling the "Christmas spirit" this year, and if I read this beforehand it definitely wouldn't have helped at all. If you're looking for a good Christmas book to read, do yourself a favour and stay away from Holidays on Ice. It's a collection of six short stories which all take place around Christmas, but these stories are incredibly mean-spirited, cynical, and critical.

The stories degrade everyone from parents to people who live in the Southern states in the U.S., to Vietnamese immigrants, to the rich, to children performing in Christmas plays at their schools, to prostitutes, and more. Several of the stories are downright racist and xenophobic to the point of making them completely unenjoyable, and even the ones that are "okay" are void of any pleasure; there's no "Christmas spirit" to be found in any of these stories.

These are stories where babies are murdered by being put through a wash and dry cycle in a washer and dryer, where rich people selfishly and vainly compete with one another to see who can make themselves look more charitable (without giving two sh*ts about actually helping anyone), to the point where they eventually donate their children to homeless former inmates to be murdered and to where they donate their own body parts...

They're disgusting, cynical, nihilistic stories, and though they're well written and occasionally funny, the overall result is very little enjoyment (and a boatload of depression) for the reader. I do not recommend this collection to basically anyone. Individual ratings for each story, and my overall rating for the book as a whole, are below:

SantaLand Diaries: 3.5/5
Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!! : 3/5
Dinah, the Christmas Whore: 2.5/5
Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol: 1.5/5
Based Upon a True Story: 1/5
Christmas Means Giving: 1/5

= 12.5 / 25 = 50% = 2.5 stars

But I'm rounding down to two stars because of how disgusting, un-Christmas-like, and ultimately unenjoyable this cruel collection of stories was.

This book gets one star instead of zero because I did not completely hate "Dinah the Christmas Whore" and thought "SantaLand Diares" was just kind of okay. I didn't like any of the other stories even the slightest bit.

My husband and I listened to the audiobook, as this was the holiday pick for our book club. I wasn’t happy about the selection, as I hadn’t been able to see the other Sedaris book I’d tried all the way through. I thought this would be as dull as I’d found that one to be but, ya know, this wasn’t as bad as I’d anticipated. I laughed out loud several times. There were certain stories I could have done without but, overall, it was a decent listening experience.

I had been told this was a very offensive book. I wholeheartedly agree. It is offensive. BUT the satirical stories are clearly meant to offend. If we aren’t appalled by those perspectives, there is something wrong. They didn’t make me think, “Wow, this Sedaris guy really is a jerk!” They only highlighted how absurdly gross stereotypes and prejudices are and demonstrated how awful people who hold those views can be. I think that was the point. While they didn’t necessarily offend in a bad way, there were some stories that I didn’t find enjoyable, humorous, or meaningful at all.

Rating average: 3.08

Individual ratings:

~Santaland Diaries: 2.5 stars

~Seasons Greetings to Our Friends and Family: 3 stars

~Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol: 4 stars

~Based Upon a True Story: 2 stars

~Christmas Means Giving: 4 stars

~Dinah, the Christmas Whore: 2 stars

~Jesus Shaves: 3 stars

~Us and Them: 3.5 stars

~Let it Snow: 3 stars

~Six to Eight Black Men: 4 stars

~The Monster Mash: 3 stars

~The Cow and the Turkey: 3 stars

I guess my funny bone is broken or I'm not drunk enough, because after the first story I could not hardly stomach the rest of the stories. My first one star rating. If you are looking for a dark Christmas comedy, "The Stupidest Angel", was in my opinion, head and shoulders better than this mess.

There were only three stories in this collection that I didn't absolutely despise; Santaland Diaries, Dinah the Christmas Whore, and 6 to 8 Black Men were the only ones that were even remotely funny. The rest I honestly wish I had never read. I'd suggest reading these in the store or borrowing the book from the library if you really want to read it. Don't waste your money on this collection, especially the hardcover version, unless you really want to spend money on stories about a baby killed in a washing machine, a husband and wife giving away their two 10 year-old sons to a homeless man to one-up their neighbor by being the most charitable, and eyeballs kept in baby food jars.

I think Sedaris thought he was being clever with these stories but really they were just sad and unfunny.

OK, I am a huge fan of David Sedaris and I knew what to expect from his writing. This just isn't my favorite collection of his works. Of the 12 stories, I really did like a fair majority of them. The first story about his personal experiences as a 33-year-old elf in Santa Land at Macy's in New York City is a classic, full of the self-deprecation and sarcastic observation of humanity that I have come to associate with David Sedaris' writing. But the next four stories really got me down, especially "Season's Greetings to our Friends and Family!!!" That was a dark, dark story. The baby in the washing machine did not sit well with me. Sarcasm, black humor. OK, whatever. Didn't like it. The other three were a mess.

I dreaded to continue reading (which is not like me). After a two-day break, I decided to press on. The story of David's experience in French class, comparing holiday traditions in different cultures using only the words available to him and his classmates in their limited French vocabulary was exactly what I needed to keep going. Happily, I found the second half of the book was much better. I liked the last three stories the best and would give them four or five stars each. Considering that I didn't like the baby in the washing machine, I liked the story about the cadavers and the story about the cow and the turkey before the turkey was beheaded.

Maybe if I read this collection again at another time, I will react differently to the stories I didn't like. I hope to start reading "The Best of Me" soon. I am optimistic that I will like that collection better.

“I think I’ll be a low-key sort of elf.”

I first read HOLIDAYS ON ICE over 20 years ago in my 20s, back when I was a big fan of David Sedaris. As I’ve gotten older, however, I find his work less satisfying. To be fair, I haven’t yet read his two most recent books.

Many of the pieces in this collection left me feeling unsatisfied. That said, this edition includes some additional stories, and the ones carried over from the original edition remain enjoyable. HOLIDAYS ON ICE opens with the famous “Santaland Diaries”, which has been adapted into plays and other formats. It details Sedaris’s experience working as an elf in Macy’s Santaland at their flagship Manhattan store. The piece is good for a laugh and remains a highlight of the collection.

Another standout is the wonderfully sharp Christmas letter written by the fictional matriarch of the Dunbar family. In “Season’s Greetings”, Sedaris creates a wholly believable and hilariously passive-aggressive persona in the voice of Mrs. Dunbar. This piece is so wrong on so many levels, but I can’t help grinning every time I read it.

My favorite piece in this collection, however, is one I don’t remember from my initial reading: “Front Row Center”. In it, a character reviews local elementary school holiday productions as if they were legitimate professional theater performances. The satire had me in stitches, with numerous laugh-out-loud lines. At the same time, it acknowledges the absurdity and charm of those productions, which we endure and enjoy only because someone we love is performing. The final lines of this story are unexpectedly moving, as Sedaris makes an important and poignant point. For me, it’s by far the standout piece in this collection.

Quotes:
•t“All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I’m afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.”
•t“Under certain circumstances parental pride is understandable but it has no place in the theater, where it tends to encourage a child to believe in a talent, that more often than not, simply fails to exist.”
•t“If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?”

Overall, HOLIDAYS ON ICE is a quick and entertaining read for the season, though it’s not exactly a feel-good book. It’s more for the grown-up who wants a day of biting humor amidst the sugary kindness of the Christmas season.

This is the first David Sedaris for me. I understand that these stories have previously been published except for one, so I can see how that would be disappointing for those who wanted more original stories to read. I listened to this which was a great idea since Sedaris reads the stories himself. The best story for me was Santaland Diaries. Such a fun and hilarious story of his experiences and observations working as an elf at Macy’s. The other stories we’re a mixed bag of fiction and not all having to do with Christmas. Many of the rest were dark humor and not for some who might easily be offended. It’s humor and some of it shock worthy. You’ll know what I mean if you read or listen to this.

jesus christ

Mean and Misanthropic.

I do not like mean-spirited sardonic wit. For the most part, the author’s cynical comments are derisive, insulting, and misanthropic. There are few (four to be exact) clever and funny essays, but black humor predominates the essays, much to my disappointment if not disgust.

SANTALAND DIARIES is by far the most humorous, and is it positioned as the first essay in the collection. Good thing, too. Reading it first whet my appetite in anticipation for a delightful read for the remainder of the essays. Sadly, that was not to be. I didn’t laugh out loud in ANY of the remaining essays. However, three essays are noteworthy, combining humor with thoughtful reflection: SIX TO EIGHT BLACK MEN, US AND THEM and SANTA SHAVES. The remaining essays? Metaphorically clever essays falter or fail to deliver. Others are downright ugly.

Although this is an older publication, the author is new to me. While awaiting for his new release, CALYPSO, I decided to read anything of his currently available. I certainly hope CALYPSO is worthy of the hype. HOLIDAYS ON ICE certainly is not.

I love David Sedaris, but I had two problems with this collection. First, almost all of the personal essays here were previously published in different books, and I had read all but two. Second, the rest of the material is fictional, and, other than "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!," I didn't care for the others.
If you happen to be reading this, and are intrigued by Sedaris, but haven't embraced any of his books yet, go read "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" or "When You Are Engulfed in Flames," two of my personal favorites!