"To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: One runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home."

That last sentence give me goosebumps.

Another interesting essay to read on my spare time, though it's full of difficult words so it may not be an easy read for someone which English is not their first language.

Purrrr

technically proficient or even masterful writing does not in any way make up for a juvenile and selfishly-childlike stance to take in a published essay, in which the main points are supported mainly by racist notions


great example of the reason, perhaps, why there is a negative connotation associated with greek life organizations and those who participate

The most meaningful essay I have ever read, no one does it like Joan!

I’ve been struggling for years of my life with my own fears of incompetence and how apparent to others my occasional incompetence or inconsistency must come across. When I make bad decisions or even no decisions, I struggle to not self-flagellate internally and ruminate over the same thoughts as if thinking of the past changes it. I definitely accept that this line of thinking is deeply unhelpful to myself, but I allow it to come when it comes and I just hope it will pass in its own time. but the ending point to this essay has helped me put myself in my place. I can’t perform the roles everyone expects of me simultaneously and expect to feel seen or respected at the end of the day. Yes we must remember our past to help us not repeat it in the future, but we must remember the lessons and motivations from those moments, more than remembering the catalysts of these situations, or we end up spiralling in deep contemplative thoughts that is disrespectful to the past version of you, who was just behaving in the way they felt safe enough to behave, or all they thought to do. Be aware and move on. Be sorry and move on. Be happy and move on. Self-respect is moving on.

Icl although this struck a lot of thoughts in my mind, I can’t give it more than 2 stars cos the way she’s making a metaphor and has to use ‘hostile Indians’ to make it is weird asf.

"Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it, knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts. It seemed to the nineteenth century admirable, but not remarkable, that Chinese Gordon put on a clean white suit and held Khartoum against the Mahdi; it did not seem unjust that the way to free land in California involved death and difficulty and dirt. In a diary kept during the winter of 1846, an emigrating twelve-year-old named Narcissa Cornwall noted coolly: "Father was busy reading and did not notice that the house was being filled with strange Indians until Mother spoke about it." Even lacking any clue as to what Mother said, one can scarcely fail to be impressed by the entire incident: the father reading, the Indians filing in, the mother choosing the words that would not alarm, the child duly recording the event and noting further that those particular Indians were not, "fortunately for us," hostile. Indians were simply part of the donnée".

i’m in awe of the writing, yet it reeks of the popular 1960 california elitism and proposes kinda racist imagery? still, a technically flawless essay

I read this essay because it was mentioned in an interview with Tara Westover. It is not an easy read, but it is quite profound.

On Self-Respect is a marvelous essay written by Joan Didion. I fell in love with this essay while reading it and I plan to read it many many times again.
I felt some of the things Joan Didion mentions in this essay very deeply and it made me question various things I do and thing about.

I cannot recommend this wondeful essay enough!

absolute fucking banger

...to give us back to ourselves — there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.

Joan has written what I've needed to hear.

https://www.vogue.com/article/joan-di...